Endless Debt

"Dennis! Dennis!"

Familiar shouts echoed in his ears, and Dennis could feel someone pushing his body, but he didn't want to respond. He just pretended to feel nothing, closed his eyes tightly, and huddled in the trench.

Roaring explosions sounded around him, and sand and dust repeatedly hit his body. He could feel warm liquid flowing on his skin, and he could even feel that in the dark and turbid depths of the trench, there were some fat rats. The group was crawling by quickly.

"Dennis!"

The shouts rang out again, and every call from the other party was like a heavy hammer, hitting Dennis's heart, cracking his will, heart, and dignity.

"Shut up!" Dennis closed his eyes tightly and kept roaring in his heart, "Shut up! Boluogo!"

"Dennis?"

The shouts suddenly became softer. Dennis squinted. In his blurred vision, he could see a thin figure standing in front of him. His clothes were in tatters and stained with blood. There was a steel helmet on his head. Covered with scratches and dents, he held a rifle with a bayonet in his hand, and blood slowly flowed across the tip of the knife.

Dennis couldn't see his face clearly, but he knew that the other person must be looking at him with eyes full of disgust and contempt at this moment.

Yes, his disguise was really ridiculous. He was pretending to be unconscious, but his body was shaking uncontrollably. Thinking of his self-deception, Dennis felt deeply ashamed and ashamed. But let him stand. Get up, he doesn't have the courage.

"Don't let me down, Dennis," the man continued.

What Dennis responded to was still trembling and silence. The man was completely disappointed.

"Bologo! Where's Denis!" another voice yelled.

"He was knocked unconscious by the bomb," Burlogo lied for Dennis. "It looks like he passed out... I can take over his job."

"are you sure?"

"I am sure."

"good."

At the command of the commander, the soldiers began to assemble. They would launch a charge to penetrate the enemy's defense line. This was a death-defying offensive, and many people would fall on the way to the charge.

When the loud horn sounded, Dennis heard the overlapping roars, and the overlapping footsteps were leaving him. When he opened his eyes, he only saw that familiar figure, quickly moving away, until Disappeared in the thick smoke raised by the shells.

This was the last time Dennis saw Bologg. Later, he heard that their charge was successful. Not only did they break through the enemy's defenses, but they also advanced all the way deep into the high wall of the Holy City...

"Dennis."

The call sounded again, and it overlapped with the voice in the memory. After a trance, the scorching air dissipated, and the crazy scorched earth disappeared. All that was left was the car moving forward smoothly, and Ivan sitting opposite Dennis.

"Berogo Lazarus," Denis murmured, "I thought I would never hear that name again."

Ivan asked, "Can you tell me the story between you and him?"

"This was more than sixty years ago, and he is already dead," Dennis didn't understand. "We are all just little people, forgotten by history..."

"No one has forgotten you," Ivan said solemnly. "I can't reveal the reason to you, but we want to know your story and his. This is very important."

Ivan emphasized the pronunciation of the word, and Dennis's expression was stunned. In his eyes, Ivan's eyes became extremely bright, like crystal gems.

As if the pressure filling his heart disappeared for a while, Dennis felt an inexplicable sense of security from Ivan, as if all the secrets could be revealed to him.

Ivan asked, "The existence of Boluogo seems to make you very painful. Why is this?"

Dennis said almost dreamily, "Probably...probably it's the feeling of separation caused by the difference between my own expectations and my true self."

Ivan nodded to himself and said, "Split yourself."

As an interrogation expert, Ivan is very aware of this psychological syndrome, the contradiction between an individual's attitude and emotions towards himself and his own behavior and performance.

A person may believe they have certain traits or values, but their behavior and performance are inconsistent with those traits or values. This self-inconsistency often leads to inner conflicts and distortions, as well as negative emotions such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and fear.

Ivan did not expect that Boluogo would cause Dennis such psychological problems.

This is like an extreme perfectionist who has excessive expectations for himself, leading to a huge gap between inner feelings and external performance, which in turn leads to a person being unable to accept his own shortcomings and shortcomings, and even collapse.

Ivan wondered why Dennis felt this way.

"I was very popular in Sequoia when I was young, I was tall and powerful, talkative and active, and Burlogo... he was a withdrawn kid who always kept to himself."

Dennis continued, "I had nothing to do with him, but I hated him."

"Why?"

"The look in his eyes."

Dennis tried to describe the emotion, but as time went by and the situation evolved, he could hardly remember the reason for it. Looking back, it was so ridiculous.

"Others have praised me a lot, but he is the only one who always has that indifferent look in his eyes." Dennis smiled self-deprecatingly. "Young and energetic people always think about other people's opinions. When he looks like that, When I did, it was like my pride was bruised.”

"What brought you together?"

"The war, the crazy wrath of the scorched earth, Boluogo and I joined the army together, and were lucky enough to be assigned together. Although we were separated in the middle, we still saw each other alive."

Dennis paused for a moment in his narration. As if he was organizing his words, he suddenly recounted his feelings, "Have you ever had that feeling? Overconfidence and pride gave rise to the feeling that you are the 'protagonist' .

That's me. I have experienced countless battles. Under the intertwining of blood and fire, my military rank is gradually rising. I often imagine the scene after the war is over. I will be regarded as a hero and return with honor. "

Ivan said, "You are becoming more and more arrogant."

"Yes," Dennis said with approval, "I'm heading for destruction."

"It was a terrible battle. We had just captured the Mist Abyss Fortress and were marching towards the Holy City. The enemy's firepower was very fierce. The trenches were all over the scorched earth like scars. We were entangled there for several months. , the trenches were filled with corpses, carrion, filthy liquids, and rats that gnawed on the corpses.”

Dennis's pupils gradually dilated, as if his soul had left his body, and the depths of his eyes were filled with uncontrollable fear. Even after so many years, the nightmare was still clearly visible.

"I can often hear a huge buzzing sound, which is a swarm of flies flying across the battlefield. We pile countless corpses outside the trenches and use them as bunkers to fire. Sometimes the heads of the dead are facing me. He The pupils of his eyes dilated into gray turbid gel, and the edges of the corners of his eyes were covered with white maggots...

My arrogant mind was completely crushed in that meat grinder-like hell. When the commander ordered us to charge, I realized that this was a fatal advance. "

Dennis whispered, "I'm scared."

"go on."

The sound was stuck in Dennis' throat, and his expression gradually became distorted, as if something was about to crawl out of his throat, and he looked like he was about to vomit.

"I closed my eyes and pretended to be unconscious, hoping to avoid charging. Boluogo found me. He called me to get up and lead them forward, but I no longer had the courage.

I was trembling with fear. I couldn't deceive Boluogo. According to the law, Boluogo should shoot me, but he didn't. When the commander called, he completed the lie for me, and then he didn't look back. left. "

Dennis suddenly laughed hoarsely, "Everyone knows what happened after that. Those who broke through the defense line and stepped into the sacred city died, but I was lucky enough to survive. I was praised and decorated with medals. "

"But I know that I should also die in that light. I am not a hero, but a complete coward."

Dennis's voice was full of pain and pleading, "But they all call me a hero..."

Ivan looked at Dennis indifferently. Just as he surmised, Dennis had a great self-division. The deviation between personal expectations and actual actions distorted his spirit and became his nightmare that continues. to date.

It was also through Dennis's real performance that Ivan could confirm that Boluogo's past was real and that he indeed came from the destroyed town.

"I have thought about making up for Boluogo, trying to find his hometown and telling others," Dennis said in pain. "I am so stupid. Redwood Town is gone and everyone is dead. How could I possibly find him?" hometown."

Ivan asked doubtfully, "Hometown? Isn't he from Redwood Town?"

"Bologo did grow up in Redwood Town, but at the beginning, his family was not a member of Redwood Town, but came from the outside world. As for where he came from, his family never said. I also thought that I was born in Redwood Town. I also know about this part from the words of the old people in the town."

Dennis's words made the clear mystery darken again.

"Bologo is a stranger."