Endless Debt

"Are you two okay?"

A slightly dissatisfied voice sounded in the car, and then another voice responded, "It's really free. There is nothing that needs to be done these days."

He went on to add, "Jeffrey gave both me and Burlogo permission to leave until this guy was promoted to a power bearer."

An arm stretched out from the driver's seat and patted the co-pilot's shoulder hard. The co-pilot's eyes looked out the window. Boluogo was not interested in joining the conversation.

"The one with authority?"

There was a surprised voice from the back seat, and Church poked his head over, looking at Boluogo's profile in surprise.

"Are you going to be promoted to a person with authority?"

Boluogo turned his head and replied, "Well, haven't I mentioned it before?"

"No," Church was silent for a moment, "Maybe you said it and I forgot."

"Bologo can rely on the characteristics of the undead to do whatever he wants, and this guy's soul is surprisingly stable. In addition to his previous achievements, there is also a new... training plan proposed by the Bureau of Order."

Palmer said with an envious look in his eyes, "In short, the Bureau of Order has already provided him with the resources needed for promotion. Just wait until everything is ready, and Bologo can be promoted."

"Alas to those who bear power."

Palmer sighed longly, "I don't know when I will become the person in charge."

Every Condenser knows that being a person with power is a clear dividing line. Only when they become a person who has power and their body begins to etherify can they truly enter the transcendent realm.

Boluogo remained silent. He knew that any training plan was fake. It was just what Nathaniel said to the outside world. He was not good at lying. The best way to deal with it was to remain silent.

silence.

This is very much in line with Boluogo's temperament, giving people a sense of calmness, humility, and mystery, but in fact, Boluogo is just pretending.

"In other words, during this period of time, we will haunt you like ghosts."

Palmer raised his head, glanced in the rearview mirror, and met Church's gaze.

"Stop looking so sullen. You're going to see Afia soon. Smile."

Seeing Palmer's beaming look, Church felt a burst of anger, but then Palmer said, "If you resist, you can jump out of the car at any time."

Church remained motionless.

Palmer smiled. He saw through Church and said, "Let me tell you, you need someone to push you for a while, otherwise you will just stay where you are."

Church took a long breath, he couldn't refute Palmer.

Since returning from the mission, Church had always wanted to see Afia, but when he thought that this relationship was very possible, but would not work out, Church became very hesitant and hesitated.

As Church's former partner, Palmer saw through Church's thoughts at a glance. While driving, he asked, "Church, are you...social phobia? Or some kind of avoidant personality disorder?"

"what are you saying?"

"Just some words that analyze your mental state."

Church knew that Palmer had no idea what these words meant, so he just mentioned it casually, "Are you studying psychology recently?"

"That's right..."

"Are you kidding? A person like you would seriously study such irrelevant things?"

Palmer's expression became awkward, "Okay, I just saw it casually, and I think it suits you..."

"Don't just apply it casually after knowing a little bit of knowledge," Church interrupted sternly. "As long as you have preconceived ideas, you can catch almost all mental illnesses."

"So that's it!"

Palmer's voice rose, and then he took a long breath, "Hey, I thought I was mentally ill."

As Church said, as Palmer turned through the book, he became more and more shocked as he discovered that almost any disease could be related to his own psychological condition.

Palmer was in a bad mood that night. He even told Borogo that he might be depressed, but when he woke up, he was still the same.

Church said, "I always wonder, do you really have a brain?"

Boluogo said calmly, "Idiot's happiness."

Palmer didn't refute the two people's comments. They often quarreled over similar things. Palmer felt that these two guys always looked preoccupied and their lives were too tiring. Personally, I think Palmer's carefree lifestyle is a little too stupid.

No one can convince anyone, but they also understand that the other's seemingly stupid lifestyle has some merits.

Church looked at Boluogo in the rearview mirror, "Are you researching this knowledge?"

"Well, I've been struggling with some psychological issues recently," Bologo said. "I bought some books and tried to understand myself."

"It's not easy to understand yourself. Many people can't see clearly what kind of person they are in this life."

Church likes to talk to Burrowgo. Burrowgo is a thoughtful person. Sometimes communicating and discussing with him is a joy, but it would be torture for Palmer.

Burlogo asked, "Do you know yourself?"

Church was silent for a while and shook his head.

"My advice on this is to seek professional advice," Church said. "It's easy to get yourself into this kind of stuff by researching it yourself."

"Do you know much about psychology?"

Burlogo felt Church's authority from his words.

"It's just understanding, not professional," Church explained. "Psychology is a required course for us. Palmer also studied it, but obviously, he has forgotten it all."

"Of course, what Crow's Nest taught me was not how to become a psychiatrist, but how to become an interrogator. In a very short period of time, we can overcome the target's psychological defenses, dig out what we want, and if necessary, We will cooperate with some punitive measures."

As an intelligence officer, Church has extremely excellent psychological qualities and everything an interrogator should have.

"Wow."

Palmer raised an eyebrow.

Church became angry when he saw Palmer like this, "What are you talking about? You were also from the Crow's Nest before."

"Instead of scolding me, it's your turn to perform, Church."

Palmer stopped the car, rolled down the window and looked towards the street. The fragrance of flowers hit his face. He turned to look at the back seat, "You said I told you all the way, so don't even think about running away at this time."

Church looked out the car window. Palmer happened to stop at the door of the flower shop. He saw him excitedly saying, "Go! Church, ask her out. If you don't take the initiative, you can buy more." The flowers are just a wealthy guest."

Palmer was so excited, as if he was not the one who wanted to ask Afia out next, but Church. Church's face was as serious as a piece of ice just taken out of the freezer.

"Then I'll go say hello first."

Palmer pushed open the car door and walked directly towards the flower shop. Church wanted to shout to stop him, but before the voice came out, Palmer had already strode into the flower shop.

Boluogo and Church were left in the car, and the atmosphere became a little tense for a while.

Church had an invisible aura about him, a coldness that seemed to resist the arrival of others, and Boluogo also had this temperament. The two of them were like mutually exclusive forces, and now they were in the same room.

say something.

Boluogo thought for a moment and looked in the rearview mirror, "Tell me, how did you and Afia meet."

"We met in the ordinary way."

Church did not resist Burlogo's inquiry, "In our line of work, work pressure is unavoidable. What's worse, we often don't want to see a doctor."

Boluogo nodded. He understood that Church felt that every time he went to see a psychiatrist, he was on the execution ground.

Boluogo doesn't like to reveal his heart to strangers. To be precise, he rarely speaks even to people he knows and is close to. Sometimes Boluogo feels that he doesn't have the ability to tell.

It feels very strange to chat with a psychiatrist. You have to take the initiative to put down your guard and bring out the most sensitive and dark things... It is difficult for Boluogo to do this.

"I hate those doctors, I hate them so much."

Burlogo joked, "I once bared my heart to a doctor... I've rarely been so sincere to a stranger."

"Then what?"

"Then the doctor suggested that Jeffrey lock me in, inject me with a sedative around the clock, and observe me for a week."

Church laughed, not sure how much of this sentence was true and how much was a joke, but it did sound interesting.

"That's it. It was rare for me to be sincere, and he actually wanted to lock me up. After that, I never saw a doctor again."

Boluogo babbled, "You have to rely on yourself to deal with this kind of thing. I have tried many methods, and it seems to be working well now."

"I'm about the same as you."

Church said, "I...I hate those doctors too."

Both of them hate doctors, but for different reasons. Church knows that no matter how much and in detail he talks to the doctor, they will all forget it all when he releases his secret power.

Others can't see clearly, and even Church himself can't see clearly. He sometimes feels confused because of this.

Borrogo asked, "And you met her?"

"Well... that's right."

Church recalled, "That day, I was very stressed and heard someone say that it would be nice to buy myself a flower and feel the beauty of life."

"Then I walked into this flower shop and met her."

As Church talked, he seemed to have lowered his psychological defense, and chatted with Boluogo about his mood at that time.

"I didn't feel anything at the time, but when I got the flowers, I felt a lot better. As for Afia, I didn't notice her at all when I came here for the first time."

"What happened next?"

"Nothing happened, it was just normal everyday life."

Church said, "I gradually developed a habit of coming to buy a flower every once in a while. As the frequency increased, Afia started talking to me, and we became more and more familiar, until I discovered There was a change in feelings.

That's it, there's no love at first sight, no complicated twists and turns, it's just accumulation over time. "

Church analyzed his heart, "Maybe it's because I have too few friends, let alone the opposite sex with whom I can talk. As the only person who can connect with me, I put all my energy into it. I am devoted to her, maybe this is not a good impression at all, but just a channel for me to vent my frustration."

"It's a very rational analysis," Borogo said.

"I hate rational analysis like this."

"Why?"

"I think emotions are emotional and blind, and overly rational thinking will become more utilitarian..."

Church paused and asked Bologo something else, "Bologo, do you remember what kind of person you were when you were a child?"

“I can’t remember exactly, but it must have been completely opposite to now.”

"Hmm... I remember what I was like when I was a child."

Church continued, "When I was a child, I was a sunny and naughty child. I had a large group of friends. I always did meaningless things at that time, such as building castles with stones."

The past in his memories was extremely beautiful, but Church couldn't feel the slightest resonance with such beautiful memories, as if he was recounting another person's past.

"I was afraid that I would become a boring adult, but I ended up becoming like this."

Church rubbed his face vigorously to loosen the tight muscles. At the same time, his appearance began to change. It was no longer the face that Boluogo was familiar with, but the face that Afia remembered.

Faceless Man.

Boluogo could somewhat understand Church's predicament. From the beginning, Church had been treating Afia with a false face. The more he fell into it, the less he dared to show his true face.

"I'm not sure whether this is nihilistic thinking or utilitarianism. I started to refuse some things that I thought were meaningless, such as Afia. There were many difficulties between me and her. Even if we successfully held hands, it would still be a waste of time. How long can it last?”

Church's voice was full of nothingness, "It means nothing."

"That sounds so nihilistic."

Boluogo was a little shocked. He didn't expect that Church's true thoughts were like this.

"I guess so."

Church didn't care and said, just as he said, the terrible nothingness lingered deep in his heart. Even after saying such words, his mood still did not change at all.

"Sometimes I feel sad and sad. I feel that rejecting something because it is 'meaningless' is really disgusting and disgusting. But when the thing really comes to me, it is difficult for me to muster any motivation to do it. It makes sense to acknowledge that.”

Church paused for a moment, then repeated, "Recognizing yourself is a difficult process."

Burlogo, sensing the void lingering in Church, said, "Is this a sober sinking?"

"So be it."

Church stared at the flower shop, "I know what my problem is, and I know how to solve it...as long as I have a love for life."

Before he finished speaking, Boluogo felt a cold gaze. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw a completely different face.

"But, Boluogo, I can't even face others with my true face. How can I love this world?"

Church was expressionless, pouring out his emotions like a machine.

"All my identities are false, and the emotions that extend from them have become complicated and confusing."

Bologo said, "You can show your true face to others. Not only Afia, but Palmer is also looking forward to this."

One of Palmer's obsessions was to find out what Church's true face looked like. Although Church said that the face he showed to Palmer was his true face, Palmer still didn't believe it. .

Church is a man caught in lies.

"That's the problem," Church's voice dropped. "I can't do it."

"We have plenty of time."

Boluogo thought that Church was unable to break through this barrier on a psychological level, but only Church himself knew that he was bound by his own secret power. The more others knew his true information, the more likely they would be when the secret power was activated next time. Forget about yourself.

All this is in vain.

As if by chance, Church muttered to himself, "Guess this is the first time Palmer and I have met."

"What?"

"No, it's nothing."

Church opened the car door, and Palmer had already walked out of the flower shop. He was holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand and waving it vigorously to Church. Behind Palmer was Afia, who stuck her head out. She looked at Church in surprise.

"I thought you left town."

Afia still remembered Church, and when he heard her voice, Church's barren and empty heart began to throb, and a natural smile appeared on his stiff face.

As he and Bologo talked about, Church couldn't be sure whether his feelings for Afia were love or a comfort chosen to vent the pain in loneliness and nothingness.

Whatever the nature of the emotion, Church admits that in the moment he was close to Afia, he could feel a brief release from the shackles of nothingness.

"No," Church shook his head, "It's just a business trip."

"Where did you go?"

"The Korgadel Empire."

"Wow."

Afia's eyes sparkled, "I haven't been to such a far place."

This small city is the world of Afia, and the Kogadel Empire is as distant as a legend in a story.

"What kind of place is that?"

"Well... an ordinary place is no different from here. People just live and spend a long time on the land they are familiar with."

Church was on a mission and had no time to appreciate the scenery... No, there were still some peculiar places.

"I passed by a place called Iron Market."

Afia cast a curious look, she didn't know where the place was, "Is that place interesting?"

"It's quite interesting."

Church didn't explain too much. It was a cemetery full of blood and death, and it was incompatible with the girl with flowers. Boluogo, who was listening on the side, felt the same way.

Bologo knew about the existence of Iron Ruins. During the Wrath of the Scorched Earth, the fleet of the Kogadel Empire suffered heavy losses. In order to counter the maritime power of the Rhine Alliance and prevent enemy troops from landing, a large number of damaged and nearly sunk ships rushed aboard. On the coastal beach, although the hull was severely damaged, the artillery mounted on it was still able to work.

The Kogadel Empire transformed these shipwrecks into fortresses, and the entire coast was filled with such hulk fortresses... By the time the war was over, that area had turned into a ruins of steel, which sounded like Another Hulk Coast, but much larger and more twisted than the Hulk Coast.

It is said that there are still a large number of corpses of soldiers hiding in the corners of Iron Ruins, waiting for someone to discover them.

The fragrance of flowers was approaching, and Afia invited a few people to sit in the flower shop. Boluogo looked at the colorful flowers, and he wanted to choose one of them to give to Aimu.

In this cold, smog-filled city, flowers are a rare luxury, and Boluogo thought Aimu would like this.