End of ten days

I stared at the cockroach in my hand for a long time, and suddenly smiled.

I have been thinking about others all my life, pursuing fairness from beginning to end, and I regard fairness as my life creed.

But who in the world has thought about it for me?

I face the whole world holding the scale in my heart, but it is always shaken and tilted by others.

When everyone introduces me, they say I am a famous "female" lawyer in Chengdu. I really hate this title.

What I want is equality, not preferential treatment.

I am a lawyer, whether I am famous or not, why do I have to emphasize that I am a “female” lawyer? I just want to be like other lawyers. I hope they look at work ability, not gender.

But……

None of these things matter now.

Now I just want to drink some water and eat something sweet and salty. .🅆.🄲

My gums bleed all the time and they won't stop.

I might die...

You said...has anyone died in this room?

Why are there so many scratches on the walls?

Those scratches were not made by me, but they are still clear. Has anyone ever lived here?

The next night, the horse butcher appeared again.

This time, he probably couldn't stand the smell on my body, so he specially pulled a water pipe.

After he opened the door, he sprayed water on me without saying a word. He recorded the whole process on his mobile phone.

Yes, I look like a pig.

I remember that their butcher used a water gun to wash away the pig's body.

Now I have no dignity or personality, I am just a pig waiting to be slaughtered.

Can you kill me?

He washed me for about ten minutes, and most of the dirt and mud on my body was washed away.

Even though I look like a pig, I have to say I feel much more comfortable now than before, at least I'm clean.

As a human being... you have to at least make sure you are clean, right?

I lay helpless on the ground, waiting

\u003c/di\u003e

Waiting for the horse butcher's "lucky visit".

This absurd life is so ridiculous. My living situation is no different from the pigs in his pigsty.

No... to be precise, raising me is cheaper than raising pigs.

I can live on only three yuan a day, but pigs can't.

Pigs need to be fat and white before they can be sold for money, but I don't need that.

As long as I have one breath left and am still a living woman, I will still be useful to him.

When Ma Butcher was lying on my body and floating up and down, I used all my strength to say: "I can promise anything...can you let me go...?"

"It's impossible to let you go...it's not possible to specify..." He gasped and replied, "I have to lock you up for at least a few years...wait until the police can't find you..."

several years……?

Did I hear it wrong?

There are three hundred and sixty-five days in a year, right?

I only stayed here for twenty days and I was already dying.

How many more years will I have to stay here?

"I will die..." I couldn't even shed tears, only my voice was choking, "You left me here... I will die... Don't you want me to be your mother-in-law? What if I die?" manage……?"

"You are my mother-in-law now!!" He said forcefully, "It doesn't matter if you die, give me a baby before you die. If you give birth to a boy, I will let you die."

Such a life.

Exactly like what I imagined as a child.

"I promise... I promise you to have a baby..." I cried and said, "Can you let me out..."

"Stop dreaming, I will take you out when you give birth to a baby!"

Seeing him floating around minding his own business, I felt completely hopeless.

He really wanted me dead.

I slowly hugged his neck, opened my mouth forcefully, and took advantage of him to forget

Suddenly, it bit directly on his artery.

I want to kill him.

But I overestimated myself, and I had no strength at all.

My bite only hurt him and left deep tooth marks.

He also whined and stood up, then started punching and kicking me.

I clearly felt that his foot was always kicking towards my abdomen, but I couldn't stop him at all.

I was definitely going to get hurt, my internal organs and bones would be hurt in this hopeless situation.

They will exacerbate my death. 🄲

The next day, I couldn't even get up, so I could only move on the ground with difficulty.

I was coughing up blood all the time.

Yesterday, the horse butcher sprinkled water on the ground here, but there is no drainage outlet here.

All kinds of excrement and dirt on the ground were mixed with the water, soaked in moldy hay, and filled with a crushing smell in the summer of July.

and I?

I couldn't stand up and I was swimming in sewage.

All the dirt is covered in my body, and now I am just a pig wallowing in muddy soup.

I kept groping in the sewage, looking for my water and food today.

"Laidi, if you go to the city in the future, go to the police station and change your name as soon as possible."

A voice rang in my ears. It was my enlightenment, my teacher. She had a different name from all the girls in the village. She was not called Laidi, Zhaodi, Pandi, nor Erni or San. Ni, her name is Ning Waner.

That year, she and I were standing in front of the lake at the head of the village watching the sunrise.

"Why?" I asked.

"Although you are excellent, this name will bring you a lot of trouble." She sighed and said, "I hope you can live a better life and don't be trapped here all your life. You can choose yourself. life.”

At that time, I didn’t understand why, I was born inferior to others, but I could actually choose my own life?

\u003c/di\u003e

"But... what do I want my name to be?"

"As long as you like it. Names are used to bless your own life, not the lives of others." The teacher coughed a few times and continued, "I hope you can be like the lake in the morning, and others will give you a touch of warmth. "

At that time, I couldn't understand the teacher's words at all. I just saw her getting haggard.

Lake in the morning?

Thinking about it now, she must have been sick at that time.

Is she okay? Has she recovered?

Has she survived until now in good health?

When I was a child, I never thought of leaving my teacher’s contact information. As a result, after so many years, I could never find her.

"Laidi, I have heard a legend." The teacher looked at the lake and smiled at me calmly, "Everything in this world will live on in other forms after death."

"what does that mean?"

"If one day I die, I may become a grass, a tree, a bird, or a grass insect."

I feel that what the teacher said is very profound, but it is very interesting.

In other words...will not everyone in this world die?

If they die, they become something else and live in the world forever in another form.

This sounds fair enough.

"I hope the teacher never dies." I said to her.

"Why?"

"Because no one in this world has been so kind to me." I looked at her eyes and felt like she wanted to cry, "Teacher, even if you become a bird, a grass insect or a stone, I don't want you to die. "

"Then teacher is waiting." She smiled.

Teacher Ning said she would leave in three days, but she disappeared the next day.

I must have been anxious about something and returned to the city early.