Defeated By Love

"..." Shunian looked at him blankly, still a bit at a loss. She sniffed, as if wondering what he meant, and asked hesitantly, "Your girlfriend?"

Xie Ruhe still stared at her and humbled.

Shunen's tears didn't fall anymore, and he said silly, "Isn't it me?"

Xie Ruhe curled his lips: "It's you."

"Oh." Shunen retracted his gaze and thought about it again. She scratched her head, looking a little depressed, and then asked softly: "Then do I have to apologize?"

"You don't need to explain it to me."

"Explain what..."

"Explanation--" At this point, Xie Ruhe's voice stopped for a few seconds, and his ears became hot. He licked his lips and cleared his throat, "Explain, I like Shunen very much."

Hearing this, Shunen looked at him suddenly, her expression changed in a dull and dull manner. Her eyes were still wet, her thoughts seemed to be emptied instantly, and she subconsciously repeated his words: "I like Shunen very much."

Xie Ruhe never thought that Shunen would repeat it.

He was taken aback, lowered his eyes, and noticed her dazed and nervous look.

As if thinking of something, Xie Ruhe licked his lips and his expression became unnatural. After a few seconds, he lowered his voice and said, "Explanation, I like Xie Ruhe very much."

Shunen stared at him, completely overwhelmed, and repeated mechanically: "I like Xie Ruhe very much."

The room was quiet.

Xie Ruhe turned his head, put the back of his hand against his lips, and hid the corner of his mouth.

Shunen blinked, and instantly realized what he had just said. Her mouth was open, her face flushed instantly, and she stood up at a loss, acting stiffly like a robot.

Before she raised her foot, Xie Ruhe pulled her back.

Shunen completely forgot the words he said before, and only felt that he was teased by him. He didn't know what to say, and felt bored. She lowered her head, pursing her lips and said nothing.

"I heard it." Xie Ruhe lifted her chin, her voice pressed down with her breath, with a little dumbness, "Thank you, I like you very much too."

Shunian went into the bathroom and washed her face, trying to cool her face.

The self in the mirror has fair skin, red around the eyes and nose, like a rabbit. The color of the lips also darkened, as if they had just been ravaged by someone, and it was a bit more gorgeous than usual.

She licked her lips and couldn't help but lower her head and wash her face again.

Thinking of Xie Ruhe's saying "I like Shunen very much", Shunen's heart was empty, and he went out of the bathroom in confusion.

Xie Ruhe was still sitting in the original position, and raised his eyes to look at her when he heard the movement. Noting his lips, Shunen turned his head uncomfortably, and crawled onto the bed pretending to be calm.

Xie Ruhe took the initiative to ask: "You want to sleep?"

Shunen said vaguely: "I won't sleep anymore..."

"Sit down, then."

Shunen's movements paused, and slowly crawled in front of him.

The two sat facing each other.

Shunen's face was still stained with a few drops of water, and his skin was crystal clear, white as if it were transparent. The corners of her mouth raised slightly, her mood didn't look as bad as before, but her words were still few.

She didn't take the initiative to speak.

After a while.

"Niannian, you always have your own thoughts." Xie Ruhe suddenly said, his voice slow and steady, "No matter if what you say will anger other people, or if someone argues with you, you will never do anything you think is right. Will change your mind."

Shunian raised his eyes: "Huh?"

"And I also think your idea is right. So all the time." Xie Ruhe met her eyes, "If you say what you want to do, I will not refuse, nor do I want to force you to do anything. Including you saying you don't want to Go to the doctor and I will feel that you have your ideas and your reasons."

"..."

Xie Ruhe raised his hand and grabbed his hair: "There are also ingredients that I don't know how to do. I just feel that if you do it as you want, maybe you will be happier and your life will be better."

His tone made Shunian feel more at a loss than directly reprimanding her. She didn't know how to answer, so she could only listen to Xie Ruhe's words with her head down.

Xie Ruhe pondered his words and said, "It's the same this time."

Shunen played with his fingers: "What."

"I hope you can go to a psychiatrist." Xie Ruhe looked serious, "but if you don't want to go, I won't force you to go. Moreover, I cannot leave you."

Shunen looked up, startled.

In the past, even if Deng Qingyu never showed any fatigue and unbearable in front of her, Shunian would feel like a burden because of Wang Hao's existence.

Shunen even thought about it when he was extremely desperate and painful. If in that disaster, on the day Zeng Yuanxue caught her, she chose to die because she couldn't bear it, would it be better?

Then she doesn't have to live like this, nor will it drag her mother.

Don’t let Deng Qingyu, who has a new family, quarrel with her husband day and night for her, and cry for her sleepless nights and pain.

At that time.

Shunen wakes up every day and sees the heavy curtains, the closed doors, and the three fixed locks. They are firm and heavy, like a thick haze, which can't be shaken away.

I never want to go over and open the curtain to see if it's dark outside or a sunny day with the sun hanging. The life was awkward, not knowing what happened outside, depressed and gloomy.

She never thought that she would get better.

I just wanted to live, but it was barely difficult, and I felt that this day shouldn't last long. Maybe one day, she will choose a sunny day to say goodbye to this world.

Roughly such a life.

But never thought about it.

One day, she will meet someone.

In her darkest time, rescued her from the abyss, and healed her wounds one by one. Even, she regarded her as a treasure, who was obviously a burden.

Shunian asked quietly: "Do you want me to go?"

Xie Ruhe said, "Yeah."

"Oh." Shunen sniffed and said obediently: "Then I will go."

Xie Ruhe breathed a sigh of relief, and suddenly thought of something: "You don't need to ask auntie for money."

Shunen turned out his mobile phone in silence, opened the bank to check the balance, and hummed without confidence.

Xie Ruhe said: "You use mine."

Upon hearing this, Shunen immediately shook his head: "No."

Xie Ruhe frowned: "Why not?"

"I don't know how long it will be treated, and the cost is not low." Shunen's eyelashes trembled and whispered, "I can sell the house..."

Xie Ruhe thought about it, and roughly understood what she meant: "Do you think I can't afford it?"

Shunen was taken aback by what he said and waved his hand quickly: "No, no."

As if he hadn't heard her denial, Xie Ruhe stared at her sideways, set aside for tens of seconds, and then promised: "I will work hard."

"..." Shunen said dullly, "Okay", bluffed by his serious appearance.

Xie Ruhe raised his lips and couldn't help touching her head.

Soon, Shunen realized that something was wrong. She frowned and explained seriously, stiffly like an old man: "I think this is big money. I can't let you pay me that much."

Xie Ruhe thought for a while: "Then you treat it as your money."

Shunian looked stubborn: "But this is your money."

"It will be yours in the future."

"Huh? Why."

"Because, we will get married in the future." Xie Ruhe looked down at her, sliding her Adam's apple up and down, and then said, "So you can treat it as if you used your future money in advance."

"..."

Shunian suddenly lost the emotion of reasoning with him.

All her attention was on his previous sentence, her expression empty. After a while, Shunen said in a low voice, his face looked very calm: "Okay."

silence.

I don't know how long it took, Shunian suddenly got into the quilt and hid the whole person inside.

Xie Ruhe was impulsive in saying this, and he was a little at a loss because of what he said. Perceiving Shunen's actions, his eyes stopped and he asked stiffly: "What's the matter?"

Shunian didn't say a word.

Xie Ruhe pursed his lips and asked again.

Still did not say a word.

He moved his position, just as he wanted to continue asking.

The person in the quilt suddenly spoke out, and his voice sounded dull: "Can you have an early warning before you say these things, high-energy warning or something..."

Xie Ruhe said, "Huh?"

"Otherwise I will, what?" Shunen said softly, showing two eyes from the quilt, "Maybe you can't see it, I'll be a little... embarrassed."

"..."

Xie Ruhe was stunned, and the nervousness dissipated. He bent his eyes, reached out to touch her eyes, and chuckled softly: "I can't see it."

Xie Ruhe asked Shunen's opinion, but in the end he didn't change the psychologist.

Although Shunen said that, she also knew that it was definitely not the psychiatrist's problem. The big part was that she could not get out of the shadows. Wang Yue has always done a good job and understands her situation very well. They get along very happily.

And if you change doctors, you have to have a break-in period with the new doctor.

Shunian had no intention of changing to a psychologist.

After thinking about it, Shunian called to make an appointment.

The next afternoon, she went out with Xie Ruhe. I haven't stepped outside the house for several days, but Xie Ruhe may be there, and Shunian felt that it was not as scary as he thought.

Shunian was led by Xie Ruhe, and said without words: "The few times I saw you in the hospital before, I went for psychotherapy."

Xie Ruhe nodded: "Have you been there recently?"

Shunian thought about it and said honestly: "It seems that I haven't gone for a few months. Because I don't have time and it doesn't affect my life, I can't remember to go."

Xie Ruhe's expression thoughtfully: "Is there a fixed time?"

"Yes." Shunen said, "usually every Thursday morning, because I have to go to the recording studio in the afternoon and evening. If I have time, I might switch to the afternoon because I want to sleep in."

"..."

"Later it became the 6th of every month."

What important thing Xie Ruhe was doing, carefully wrote down: "I will remind you later."

Shunian looked up at him, watching him carefully memorizing things on the phone's notepad. She thought for a while, and inexplicably talked about a topic: "Did you like me before?"

Xie Ruhe said, "Yeah."

Shunen was a little curious: "Then why didn't you tell me."

Hearing this, Xie Ruhe stopped and looked at her sideways. I thought about the scene if I told her at that time, and what might happen.

He straightened his lips and said honestly: "You will scold me if you say it."