Childhood Friend Who Sees the Future Utters Nonsense

92 – A decision you don’t know

My first kiss with Siyoon really felt like I was floating in the sky.

I didn’t know I was such a bold woman. If you ask her why she throws her kiss without any intention, she will say ‘just like that.’ Because I really have no choice but to express it that way.

The moment she got on the swing with her legs crossed and looked down at her, the eyes of Si-yoon, who suddenly met her, were infinitely lovely. It was clear she was drawn there and unconsciously smacked her lips together. It was as if she was possessed by something.

Of course, if you ask if that is the only reason, it is not. In fact, if she looks back on her memories to find the fundamental reason, the real reason is separate.

I guess so. This is the change of heart that came to me just a few days ago.

“I didn’t know it would all happen there.”

As she returned to her room and leaned her head on Si-yoon’s shoulder, recalling her fragmentary memories, she heard a soft muttering to herself.

Where she turned her gaze, there was Siyoon, who was still looking at me with a somewhat dazed expression. Foot, cute.

“So you don’t like it?”

“There’s no way I wouldn’t like it. “I was just a little surprised.”

“Well, if you didn’t like it, you wouldn’t have come out so aggressively at the end, right?”

“… “No comment.”

At the end, when she spoke as if to point out that she had pushed her lips in as if she was going to eat me, Si-yoon secretly avoided looking at her. Before she knew it, her cheeks were turning red.

That’s fascinating. It was a rare sight when we were childhood friends. It wouldn’t have been strange for her to be surprised and rub her eyes, thinking, ‘Park Si-yoon of the world is embarrassed!’

However, after our relationship changed from childhood friends to lovers, it is also a scene that we have been able to see quite often. That’s right, Si-yoon was secretly shy.

She accepts small touches well, but sometimes, if you try to be a bit harsh with her, you can see her face turn red. It’s not that I don’t like her, but the way she flusters, wondering if she might cross a line, is infinitely cute.

Perhaps it is more attractive because it contrasts with his usual personality. She had heard Soobin use this term before…. Was it Gap Moe?

“I can’t be satisfied with a cheek kiss anymore.”

Siyun wanted to see her look a little more embarrassed, so he pushed her in the face and spoke in a provocative tone. Unfortunately, Siyun looked at me with quite calm eyes.

“Me? Or you?”

“Both. No, it might be a little worse on mine.”

I tried something like that once, but there was no way I would be satisfied with childish play like cheek kissing. Of course, it may have its own taste, but wouldn’t it be ingrained in one’s mind that kissing should be done on the lips whenever possible?

Ah, thinking about it makes me want to do it again. It felt really good.

“Are your eyes a bit sinister?”

“What is being sneaky about your girlfriend? Of course, I won’t deny it.”

He answered slyly towards Siyoon, who playfully covered her body with a blanket and pretended to retreat.

Tsk, anyway, I’m quick to notice. Still, it doesn’t matter because you can just do it when you see a gap.

I may not know it in front of other people, but in front of myself, Si-yoon is always full of loopholes. So it’s okay.

She had been wandering around for quite some time, so she thought it was time to recharge her stamina, so she put aside the pursuit of Siyun’s lips and lay down with her thighs cut.

Sreuk.

Then Siyoon’s hand came up to straighten her tangled hair. This is what always follows when I lie down on her thighs. Her attention to detail gently touches her heart.

Soon, Siyun, who was looking at me intently, opened her mouth.

“Anyway, has there been any change of heart?”

“Huh? Suddenly?”

“No, it just seemed like I got rid of something today.”

It’s a fairly unexpected question, but at the same time, it was a bit surprising. I felt like Si-yoon really knew everything about me, and she got a little goosebumps. How on earth did they know? She didn’t show much, she thought.

“A little? “Rather than saying she brushed it off, I think it’s more accurate to say she made up her mind.”

“Oh, decision? What?”

“I won’t tell you.”

“You don’t even tell me, her boyfriend? “I’m a bit disappointed.”

When Si-yoon stuck out her tongue and made a fuss, she was cute as she pretended to be disappointed even though she wasn’t actually upset at all. Even if she says things like that, deep down, she probably guesses that I have my own reasons for not talking.

Of course, I also don’t like the idea of having to hide something from Siyoon. But when she said this, she could easily guess Si-yoon’s reaction and couldn’t bring herself to say it.

In order to turn that guess into certainty, I wanted to ask one question. In the name of balance games, which are popular these days.

“Si-yoon, if there was a button that would make everyone happy with a 50% probability and a button that would make only you happy with a 100% probability, what would you press?”

“Well, there is no price?”

Despite the stupid question that was not like me, Siyoon asked a question quite seriously.

“Of course there is a price. If you fail to press the former button, your interpersonal relationships with ‘everyone’ will be ruined. The second button literally makes only you happy. “Leaving behind someone’s sadness.”

“… It’s difficult. Still, isn’t it the first? “It’s no use making only me happy.”

The basis for saying that he would challenge the 50% gamble was due to Siyoon’s altruism.

Then, let’s change the question slightly here.

“Then what if the first button remains the same, but the target of the second button is me?”

“You…. So, if you press that button, you can definitely be happy?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

When she nodded, Siyoon, who had been contemplating quite a bit before, made a choice without hesitation this time.

“Then it’s probably the latter.”

“Maybe something sad will happen to you instead?”

“Well, how sad can I be? “It’s better for you to be happy.”

Siyoon shrugs his shoulders indifferently. Through that action, I was convinced. As expected, it was better not to reveal this decision to Siyoon.

As expected, the path Siyoon pursues and the path I pursue are slightly different. The ultimate goal may be similar, but the direction is very different. Because I want us to be happy, and Siyoon wants me to be happy.

It’s just a what-if, but even if we break up and find different lovers, Si-yoon may be sad but may bless me. Because in the end, I become happy.

But I am not like that. I will hold onto Si-yoon as she leaves, cling to her crying and crying, and struggle desperately until the end. Maybe she will pour out harsh words towards Si-yoon, who is leaving. That’s how selfish I am.

So, paradoxically, the happiness I pursue always includes Si-yoon. Even if I am happy, if Siyoon is not happy, that is not the result she wants.

So I decided when I had that dream a few days ago. I will not ask Si-yoon for help in this matter, but will gamble in pursuit of our happiness in my own way.

If Si-yoon knew this, he would definitely rip me off. That’s why I didn’t say it. Because she’s known for a long time that that idiot is someone who always thinks of only me.

So, at least in her mind, she wanted to apologize in advance. I ask you to forgive me for being selfish and trying to move forward while ignoring your wishes even though I know them.

Page.

“… “Why a kiss out of nowhere?”

“Hey, just.”

If what I said earlier was to stamp Siyun as mine, this one is meant as an apology.

It was a kiss that came from her feeling sorry as her girlfriend for going out on her own without saying anything.

I’m smiling like nothing’s wrong, but honestly, I’m scared.

There is no certainty, and you might lose everything. But even so, I can move forward thanks to the dream of that day.

– Honey, I love you.

– hehehe, me too.

The scene where we, looking somewhat adult, were whispering love to each other and lying face to face on the bed, smiling happily. This was the moment that made me conscious of my feelings for a man named Si-yoon for the first time.

At that time, I shouted that it was a really stupid dream and that this could not be a precognitive dream, but not anymore. Rather, it is difficult if it is not a precognitive dream. The sight of us smiling happily in the world should not be nothing more than a bubble.

From Noble mtl dot com

It was thanks to that dream that I was able to gamble towards the future and raise the stakes.

It’s a thorny road that I’m trying to move forward with just the foolish thought that neither I nor you can smile like that in a future where everyone is not happy.

That’s why I believe it.

At the end of this road, there will definitely be a fairytale-like ending where not only me and Siyoon, but also no one around us will have to be sad.

That was the moment when I, who had always tried to avoid dreams and just watched them, decided to face them for the first time.

So it’s okay. I can’t say it now, but trust me and wait for me, Siyoon.