Beauty and the Bodyguard

Mengyao noticed Yushu thinking really hard about something during class. “Shu, what’re you doing? What’re you thinking about?”

“Yao Yao, I’m just wondering if I have any wishes I want to fulfill…” Yushu felt like she had all her wishes granted recently, and there wasn’t anything to ask Pinliang to do for her anymore.

“Wishes? You want to eat shark meat, don’t you?” Mengyao didn’t know what Yushu was up to, but the thought came to mind.

“Oh, yeah! I want shark meat!” Yushu exclaimed excitedly now that Mengyao had reminded her. “I’ll ask Zhong Pinliang to get me treat me to shark meat!”

“Zhong Pinliang? You want him to treat you to shark meat?” Mengyao blinked.

“Yeah. He asked me what he could do to make up and make you happy just now.” Yushu said.

“Don’t go to him- if you want shark meat ask Lin Yi to get you some.” Mengyao didn’t want to get involved with Pinliang.

“Don’t worry, Yao Yao, it’s me asking, so it won’t involve you.” Yushu was pretty experienced with this sort of stuff at this point.

“Do what you want then…” Mengyao didn’t have the energy to bother anymore- the last three years Yushu had been doing these things far too frequently. It made Mengyao rather numb to it whenever Yushu would take advantage of Pinliang again, but it did make her curious as to why Pinliang still trusted Yushu after being had so many times.

Pinliang decided to skip the last morning class- he went to the night market street with Xiaofu directly and got two portions of fried mushrooms for Yushu. He placed them in front of Yushu, managing to get the food to her right before lunch break started.

“Oh. I’ll talk to you after I eat- it won’t be crispy if it gets cold.” Yushu waved her hand to dismiss Pinliang.

Pinliang nodded and went back to his seat. He’d bought a couple of dumplings with Xiaofu, thinking of just eating that for his lunch- he didn’t have the appetite with so much to think about.

He caught Yushu finishing her fried mushrooms, and quickly sprung up to chase after Yushu, who was now walking to the trash bin. She smirked internally upon seeing Pinliang’s anxious face.

The guy sure was dumb- wasn’t he tired of getting scammed all the time? Here he was, asking to get scammed again.

“I say, Liangy, can’t you give me some space here? You’re even following me to the trash bin, now…” Yushu put on an unhappy face for Pinliang to see.

“Heh heh… Shu, I’m just in a bit of a rush, that’s all. Here, I’ll throw that for you!” With that, Pinliang took the trash from Yushu’s hands. “What did Yao Yao say?”

“She says that yesterday was a pass, but she’s under a lot of pressure from school stuff. She wants to go someplace fun, and summer camp’s in May, that’s too long for her to wait!” Yushu had thought up an excuse already.

“Oh, going out?? That’s perfect!” Pinliang was joyed- this was his dream! He’d always wanted to go out with Mengyao, to go out on dates with her!

“What’re you thinking about? Yao Yao wouldn’t go out with you alone, alright, she’s not your girlfriend yet, right?” Yushu said disdainfully- Pinliang was being so obvious with what he was thinking.

But Pinliang wasn’t disappointed at all from what Yushu said- it actually excited him quite a bit…

After all, Yushu said that Mengyao wasn’t his girlfriend ‘yet’, and that meant that she might be in the future… So Mengyao had some feelings for him after all????

The thought made Pinliang very happy. “Shu, tell me- where does Mengyao wanna go?”

“To the beach, maybe? You organize a spring trip for the whole class! Otherwise Yao Yao wouldn’t go at all if it’s just the two of you.” Yushu said.

“Alright, no problem! Spring trip, right? I’ll go organize it in just a bit!” Pinliang quickly nodded, satisfied now that he had a target. With that, he waddled away to help Yushu throw out the trash.

Having taken care of Pinliang, Yushu walked back to class, humming.

The clinical tests showed no results, and it came as a surprise to the Kangs.

Everyone, including Miracle Doctor Kang, who had consumed the ‘original’ Pill of Life Extension and Toxin Cleansing, only experienced varying degrees of disgusting diarrhea and vomiting. There wasn’t any toxin cleansing taking place at all!

Other than the liquids and solids being expelled from the body, nothing special had happened at all.

As weak as he felt, Miracle Doctor Kang sat in his study and asked for an emergency family meeting to address the problem.

“Zhaolong, what was the problem? How come none of us had our toxins expelled?” Miracle Doctor Kang was perplexed- even if the dog poop wasn’t the correct component, the one he’d consumed was the original pill! The results were prominent for Zhaoming after he’d just eaten half of it, so how come his condition was the exact same with everyone who’d eaten regular dog poop?

“I don’t know, grandpa… We know that the component is dog poop, so this doesn’t make sense… The one you took was the original PIll of Life Extension and Toxin Cleansing, too, so why didn’t anything happen?” Zhaolong’s head was spinning as well- he felt exhausted.

“Is it only effective to certain people?” Miracle Doctor Kang wondered, confused.

“I don’t think so, grandpa… Nothing happened to me this time…” Zhaoming stopped himself there and stood up holding his stomach. “I can’t- I need to go to the washroom, I’m about to shit my pants!!”

With that, Zhaoming ran out the study, farting all the while he ran.

But nobody minded the stench from his farts- everyone present had been farting the whole day.

“Zhaoming’s right- nothing happened to him as well. Did something go wrong in our experiment?” Miracle Doctor Kang nodded in agreement.

“Well… Grandpa, I’ve thought about every possible situation, but I couldn’t come up with an explanation…” Zhaolong shook his head. “Unless the one Zhaoming ate was different from the one you ate?”

“Different? Wasn’t it the same half with the other half of the original pill?” Miracle Doctor Kang frowned.

“It’s just a guess, but there’s no evidence to prove it now. But, if we think about it, the approach we took might’ve been wrong…” Zhaolong said. “We all got hung up in the heat of the moment, thinking what’s most impossible is the most possible, that dog poop has to be the Pill of Life Extension and Toxin Cleansing! But really think about it- is it really that simple?”

“You’re saying that the Pill of Life Extension and Toxin Cleansing isn’t actually dog poop?” Miracle Doctor Kang found sense in Zhaolong’s words now that he’d calmed down to think about it. A miraculous pill like that couldn’t really be _just_ made of dog poop, could it? Wouldn’t that be so simple?

“That’s a guess, but yeah. Right now, I have two bold theories about the whole thing!” Zhaolong was studying for a PhD, after all- he was the most educated in the Kang family, and his analyses made sense.

“Tell us!” Miracle Doctor Kang nodded, beckoning him to continue.