Ball of Nothing

By now, the word about a very charming candidate worthy of their sea queen reached far and wide. There wasn't any sea creature who didn't know about it. Even the hermit crab crawling along the shore when the Marrissa docked on land crowded around Zero in a huge circle. It took the doctor a lot of effort to ditch his crazy fanatics behind with Truen's help.

"There you are!" Monoman grinned, and Jermine waved beside him, looking terribly tiny.

Far away from any sea fans, Zero finally let his transformation unravel. He felt more comfortable in his usual height, even if he wasn't the tallest. King Sharo was simply too tall, and Zero had enough bumping into the ceiling beams from being too tall. Thankfully, he knew healing magic.

"Why are you here?" Zero ran to them with a wide grin and shared hugs. It was a little too long since he saw faces that weren't the crew or the sea folks.

Jermine bounced and told Zero how they came with what Zero requested.

"I came as a guide," Monoman laughed lamely and offered to help unload the goods. Jermine passed her spatial magic backpack to the semi-giant and went to greet the sea otters.

As Monoman helped unload what Ottley requested for the Marrissa's overhaul and intensive repair, Bob looked at his master. They exchanged a glance and nodded. Truen was already bringing out the tools they needed to set up a magic formation. He wasted no time and got to work once Monoman and the crew started to drag the Marrissa onto the shabbily built dock. They couldn't risk the sea serpent jumping in on them and breaking the ship just yet.

It took everyone a whole afternoon to fix the dock and dock the Marrissa properly. Bob and Zero spent a long time in the sea setting up the magic array under the pretext of hunting for dinner. Ottley gave them an odd look. However, he held his tongue. Maybe the sea folks weren't as good at identifying someone using transformation magic. Zero only had himself to blame if his efforts over the last few months went down the drain from his blatant murder of sea folks for food.

By the time the boys were done with the array, it was already time for dinner. Zero simply pulled out the food offering he received from Magnus Hilda and served it. Ottley and his crew stared at the massive roasted mushroom pie and looked at Zero. What kind of giant mushrooms grew under the ocean? Who was Zero trying to fool?!

"What?" Zero blinked when nobody dug in. "It's not poisonous."

Truen chose not to point out how obvious Zero's lie was. He simply sipped the beer and helped himself to the gigantic mushroom pie. There was no point in overthinking. It was easier to get used to Zero's antics.

It would take the experienced crew about a week to complete the repairs and reinforce the Marrissa's damaged hull. Nobody knew much about Queen Leah's pet sea serpent, but after talking with some more intelligent sea folks, Zero learned a thing or two.

"What kind of bait should we create to lure Sebastian?" Zero asked in between bites.

Bob made a face. He didn't like mushrooms too much, but he was hungry. Zero would definitely punish him if he didn't eat a 'balanced diet. As a doctor, Zero could be strict about the fussiest things, and after Bob experienced a doctor's wrath once, he never went against Zero again whenever it concerned his health.

Unlike Bob, Truen wasn't a fussy eater. Food was mostly food. After experiencing the life of a hungry ghost where hunger was an eternal thing, he appreciated anything that satiated it. The taste didn't really matter, even if he had certain preferences.

"I think the sea serpent will just attack anything that looks interesting. You said that it was a very spoiled pet, right?"

Zero nodded. According to the sea folks, Queen Leah's serpent was famous for doing whatever it pleased. It has a name, and Zero wondered why the sea serpent had such a human-sounding name. Sea Serpent Sebastian did not sound terrifying at all. It sounded slightly cute.

However, that cuteness ended at the name. In reality, Sea Serpent Sebastian was classed as a catastrophe. Normally, guilds would put a bounty on such a monster. However, Sea Serpent Sebastian was Queen Leah's pet. Nobody wanted to make an enemy out of the mysterious Indra Seagloo. Queen Leah herself didn't have a stellar record either. She was just as whimsical and destructive whenever she wanted a lover or broke up with someone.

"I might have something that would keep him entertained. But I don't think Queen Leah will be happy," Zero admitted.

Bob sighed. "Master, have you ever considered not doing it? Why anger Queen Leah when we can settle things peacefully?"

At this, the doctor smirked. "You really have no experience with romance, huh? I asked Eros about it. Although he is usually a good-for-nothing and Mount Olympus is still quite barren, he is also the God of Romance. Freya said something similar. It wouldn't be false. To grab a lady's attention, you need to do something to incite her wrath and make her remember you but not hate you."

When Truen heard that, he dropped his spoon. Bob blinked. Did he hear the right thing? First, Zero learned how to charm men from Lilith. They could understand the need to learn that. However, to get Queen Leah's attention, Zero was now learning how to act like a basic jerk. Should they continue to support this idea? What would Zero's moral compass look like by the time they had all the keys to activate the Whiskeria portal?

With heavy and conflicted feelings, they listened to Zero explain his idea.

"A woman likes it rough and to know when a man is in charge. As such, I will trap Spoiled Sebastian in the Sea Serpent trap when he enters the trap zone. I think the Marrissa will look like an excellent bait. What do you think?"

"..."

"..."

Speechless, they looked at each other. Should they really support Zero's idea? A woman scorned was a woman ready for blood. Queen Leah didn't take breakups very well. Although Zero was technically an immortal, he still shouldn't take such risks.

The look on Zero's face simply made them sigh. There was no way to talk Zero out of this without proposing something crazier. What a mess!

"Very well," Truen agreed. "However, you need to think of a solution in case you make Queen Leah hate you after you harmed her precious pet."

At that, Zero gave them a thumbs up. "Eros and Freya said that gifts would work. Flowers and sweets normally do the trick, along with sweet words. I memorised about half of that list they gave me. I'll do the rest tomorrow."

Exasperated, Bob simply chewed his mushroom pie. Truen nodded numbly and wondered if anyone in the Onion Union had better advice about courtship. Eros was a terrible influence, and Freya wasn't very sane.