Abnormal items

My name is Xie Zuo, and I was born on a beautiful blue planet. I have been wearing a red scarf since I was a child. Someone told me that I would be the successor in the future, but after waiting for so many years, no one came to notify me of my successor.

Not willing to be ordinary, I found a job that was not willing to be ordinary, and took a class that was not willing to be ordinary. (Are there too many adjectives used here? No, this can show that I am extraordinary.)

I help the old man find the old lady, and I help the old lady find the old man. Looking at the happy dusk love, my eyes became deeply moist, but the old lady's wife seemed a little unhappy.

I brought water to the running thief, cheered up the man hanging by someone else’s window, and helped the old man lying next to someone else’s car to cross the road. The good things I have done are countless, countless, countless, countless.

Ah, everyone in the community praises me, saying that I am broad-minded and not like ordinary people.

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"I'm just scolding you for not being a normal person!" The station manager of Bize City finally couldn't bear it when he saw this.

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Finally, someone discovered my talent and placed me into a resting place community.

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"Anxi Mental Hospital, we run that hospital!" the webmaster complained.

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Here, three meals a day are delivered to you, and there are beautiful nurses... um, there are beautiful ladies who wake you up, and there are community friends who are not as ordinary as me and play games.

I really like it here. Everyone here is talented and speaks nicely.

But I cannot continue to be decadent. I want to be a person who contributes to society. I went to the dean (crossed out), I went to the community leader, begged (a little too humble.) ordered (a little too forceful.) convinced, yes, convinced him to let me out. (cross out) Let me enter society.

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"If you cross it out, you should really cross it out. What do you mean by crossing out the whole bracket?" The webmaster took a sip of water.

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My name is Jie.Nicholas.Maria.Dracula.Aotian.Dalabenba.Bandobedi.Budou.Biruweng.Left.

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"Why are you repeating it again? And that's not your name just now!" The webmaster slapped his resume on the table, took a deep breath, and picked it up again after a long while.

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I am a ninja who wants to be the pirate king. I was bullied in our village because my parents saved the people in the village.

I don't have the talent to be a ninja, but I believe that knowledge changes destiny. When I was hit by an enemy ninja with a shuriken, I saved my life thanks to knowledge - the shuriken hit me and I put it in my arms "Intimate Paradise".

Knowledge can indeed change destiny.

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"Huh? Jie Zuo also worked as a ninja. This is new information." The webmaster took out a small notebook and wrote it down.

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Since then, I have left the village to find the one piece in my heart.

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"What is onepiece?"

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I have crossed mountains, rivers and seas, and also passed through seas of people...

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"This is a resume, right? You have nothing to write for me." The webmaster shouted, his throat was a little dry and he drank some water.

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When I came to Bize City, all the creatures were shouting my name, Nicholas, Maria, Dracula, Aotian, Darabengba, Bandobedi, Budo, Biru Weng. Left.

I know this is my destiny. I came here just to... come... for what?

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"You ask me? Who should I ask?"

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In the bustling city, there are still so many dark corners. A little girl stood shivering in the cold wind, with only a small pink lamp dimly lit in her shop. Judging from her dilapidated shop, she must have been living in poverty.

The sense of responsibility in my heart told me that I couldn't sit back and ignore it, so I walked over. She said eighty and I said fifty.

The sense of responsibility in my heart told me that I only had thirty left in my pocket, so I walked away decisively.

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"Forehead…………"

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I have many advantages. My advantages are... Well, there are many anyway, so many that there are countless stars in the sky.

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"What are the advantages? You tell me!" The guard outside the door heard the stationmaster's roar and opened the door and came in. "I'm fine, you can go down!" The stationmaster waved his hand. The guard gave the stationmaster a strange look, then exited and closed the door again.

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I know that your company values ​​me and is willing to offer me a high price of 500,000 yuan. It must be because of my qualities that shine like gold.

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"Fifty thousand?" The webmaster hurriedly looked at the document, and it clearly said fifty thousand. The webmaster breathed a sigh of relief and continued reading.

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The first thing I did when I came to Bize City was to help many people and raise their awareness of fraud prevention for free. Later, I was hired with a high salary to be a police consultant in Bize City. I completed the tasks outstandingly one after another (is that a bad sentence? Never mind.) The leaders and colleagues affectionately called me an honest and trustworthy young gentleman, a charming and suave person. , Yushu Linfeng, his character is higher than Liu Xiahui, his appearance is as handsome as that of ancient Pan An... (10,000 words are omitted here).

I led the leader's horse, I blocked the gun for my colleagues, I let women go into the sea, I made mistakes happen.

Whenever I go out, petals fall from the sky. The little girls outside will fall head over heels for me one by one. Especially when they see my colorful eyes. There is always one third confusion, one third indifference, one ninth indifference, and two ninths disdain in my eyes.

My voice is clearer than a lark, gentler than a cuckoo, louder than a duck, and sweeter than a donkey.

My skills are as fierce as a vulture, as ferocious as a tiger, as strong as a goose, and as resilient as a pig.

I am proficient in eight languages, hi, hello,

I'm fine thank you, and you.

This is only a small part of my strength. Every time I wake up from my bed of 80,000 square kilometers, I am worried. For a person as good as me, which company will be lucky enough to hire me? ? I am really honored for your company!

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"Then I really thank you!"

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Ah, the wind in the town brings unclean things. Unfortunately, the potato chips in the supermarket are not half price today.

My name is Jie.Nicholas.Maria.Dracula.Aotian.Dalabenba.Bandobedi.Budou.Biruweng.Left.

Thank you to the leader for trusting me this time.

Sincerely, salute

PS: Can my house be in the central area? I want to be closer to the supermarket.

PS of PS: Forget it, the central area is a bit noisy, let’s stay in the villa area.

PS of PS of PS: How can I live in a villa area without a car? Does the company provide a car?

PS’s PS’s PS’s PS: How can I live without a wife if I have a car? Does the company admire my wife?

PS of PS of PS of PS of PS: Well, I have nothing to say.

The webmaster couldn't calm down for a long time after reading this resume. As the webmaster stationed in Babel City, he came into contact with countless people and unusual people. He thought that after going through so many storms, nothing would surprise him, until he saw this resume.

"Banana, you watermelon, is this also called a resume?!"

First time writing something like this

Still a little shy

Am I a mourning melon?