A Porter Kidnapped by a Wizard

016. Rather kill me

It’s natural to call my older brother ‘big brother’, but at some point, I started to use the title ‘Patriarch’ without realizing it and put a distance between it.

Endymion said that he couldn’t get enough of it. But even so, it should feel good to get rid of those regrets… It was strange.

“Yeah… I don’t even want to call you hyung. Please don’t just call me head.”

In the past, I thought that expression with a grinning smile was really smirking. Looking at it now, I can’t have such a friendly expression.

‘I was young.’

Age, mind, thoughts… Because I was immature in everything, I couldn’t recognize what was truly important.

It was a mistake. It was to the point of hitting the ground at the stupidity of admitting it only after losing it. Because of that, his regret was quite deep.

“So… How are you today?”

“…….”

“Are you sure you won’t even answer this?”

Endymion shook his head excitedly at the playful question. He quickly opens his mouth. He was taken aback for a moment, and his words were simply blocked.

“Me… always the same way.”

Originally, this should have ended here. Because Endymion had always been the type to open his mouth only to questions.

However, Endymion continued talking unanswerably.

“How’s your brother?”

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Maybe it was because the words were so unexpected.

“You…”

The man’s eyes widened with surprise. He could hardly shut his gaping mouth.

“…I will live a long time to see it. To hear such a question from you?”

“Is that so?”

Endymion did not deny it either. That, too, was acknowledged.

‘I wasn’t good at expressing emotions.’

I thought it would be okay if I didn’t say anything. It was too late when I realized that it wasn’t.

Endymion was late, but he was just showing his emotions.

“I’m so… busy.”

It was my older brother who was taken aback by the unexpected question. He replied with a bewildered look. However, it seems that he is in a good mood, seeing as a smile spreads across his lips.

“I’m sorry I bothered to call you here. But if I don’t call you like this, we won’t even have time to talk, let alone run into each other.”

It was. Endymion also remembers. Because I often met with my older brother privately.

It wasn’t anyone’s choice. My older brother was busy with work like his older brother, and Endymion didn’t want to disturb such a big brother, so he only had little contact.

“I’m afraid you’re busy…”

“I have to be busy. This place is too cumbersome. But it doesn’t make sense that it’s impossible to even talk to my brother once.”

“In that case, from now on… I’ll see you often.”

“Yes, yes.”

I heard that they had talked about something like this before. Even back then, he said he would visit me often, but in the end it became a promise I couldn’t keep.

“You should have sat in this seat…”

“Brother.”

At the words that came out of nowhere, Endymion looked unreasonable. At that determination, the man who became her older brother smiled bitterly.

“I know, you’ll say you don’t deserve it again.”

“Yes.”

“You… You still feel guilty about killing your father with your own hands.”

“…….”

Silence was affirmation. The conversation leaked in the middle, but older brother also changed the topic as if he had nothing more to say about it.

“Your age has already passed the age of majority. Time flies so quickly. But, by any chance… Don’t you like someone or something like that?”

A recurring question. In response, Endymion recalled what she had answered before.

‘At that time… I just said no.’

However, it was a single word with many meanings.

At the time, I was suppressed by feelings of guilt and anxiety, and I thought love was a luxury.

‘Of course, that thought has not changed even now.’

Things have changed a lot between then and now, but love was still not a very valuable feeling for Endymion.

‘But why do I think of that person?’

The black hair is beautiful, and when I see it often, I wonder why… She is also the one who keeps looking at her.

“Hmm?”

The brothers said they knew each other well. His older brother, as if seeing something in his younger brother’s eyes, smiled sinisterly.

“Hmm… I see. It seems that spring has come to you too, right?”

“What…”

Endymion reflexively tried to retort to stop talking nonsense, but when she saw her brother’s face, her mouth closed hastily.

‘Have you ever had such a bright smile?’

He always had a good laugh, but that expression seemed to lack sincerity. So Endymion couldn’t help but be surprised. Unlike usual, my older brother was genuinely happy.

“I was always worried. You and I… There are only two people left in this world worthy of being called blood.”

Her mother died when she was young, and she was so fed up with the abuse under the guise of her training that she had to kill her father herself before she reached adulthood.

Now, the only people the brothers could trust in the world were each other, and his older brother seemed to have always been bothered by that.

“I was always worried about you who would be left alone after I left… Maybe that’s why I’m more welcome.”

“Brother…”

The development of the dialogue has a different feel than before. However, the word “Worry” At the end was the same as in the past and now.

‘He said he wanted me to have someone I could rely on.’

I didn’t know why he said that. Anyway, there is still a long time left for my older brother to live. Just because of his personality that likes to inflate, he also inflates his worries… That’s how I was dismissed.

Suddenly, Endymion’s expression was full of pensiveness. Because he knows the future to come. Soon he couldn’t keep his face from knowing what was about to happen.

It was then.

“Ha Jin-ah.”

A name I am not familiar with. But there was a time when I heard that name stuck in my ears.

‘Baek Ha-jin’ was his original name, which was hidden under the skin of Endymion.

“…San E-hyung.”

Baeksan calls his brother’s name for no reason. I just felt like doing it. He didn’t feel like himself, but he felt like he had to be like this.

“While I continue to drive nails into your ears, I want you to carve them in.”

Brother, Baeksan moved his mouth with a sad expression.

“Don’t blame yourself anymore and live.”

* * *

It is a dark night. By the time everyone fell asleep. Endymion was sitting where he first woke up here, staring at the night sky through the window.

‘The moonlight is bright.’

Shiny and blue. Perhaps because it was a clear day without a single cloud, the dazzlingly bright moon looked auspicious, but also felt somewhat uneasy.

‘There is nothing different from that day.’

Everything is as I remember. And that… It was the reason why Endymion’s eyes couldn’t help but be sad.

‘I know this is all an illusion.’

It is difficult to explain what the phenomenon was, but Endymion recognized that this was just the past.

‘I’d rather… I’d rather know, but just accept this.’

It will be comfortable. It’s so obvious that it’s already expected. However, Endymion shook his head throbbingly.

He was also quite conflicted. Until this night, how many times have I thought about it while sitting still….

‘To end my life here… I thought it wasn’t bad.’

But the moment I thought that, my brother’s voice passed by my ears.

-Don’t beat yourself up anymore and live.

A word that his older brother, Baeksan, often said to Endymion, who was always filled with guilt. That new word became a decisive opportunity to change Endymion’s mind.

‘I can’t help but blame myself.’

I still have regrets and regrets. However.

‘Because I know your brother’s feelings.’

What if you didn’t know the truth? It would have been nice if Endymion did too, he thought small. It’s all just pointless thoughts.

‘Until the end, you wanted me to live.’

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Make up your mind, get up, and leave the room. He didn’t even feel the slightest hesitation in that series of movements, which showed how determined he was.

Jeobeok- Jeobeok- Jeobeok-

Walking down a dark hallway. The moonlight illuminated his path.

So, before long, we arrived at the other door.

There was no need to knock on the door this time either.

Kikki-

When the door opened, the scenery of the room with the lights off was reflected, and Endymion could see his older brother watching the moon, just like he did earlier.

“Today, I found it first… But that day, older brother called me first.”

As he did during the day, he told a middle-aged man to come to his room for a while. Unsuspecting, Endymion went to visit his older brother at night.

“And my brother’s dagger flew at my neck.”

It was a surprise. At the time, Endymion was unable to react quickly to the unbelievable situation. As a result, the situation escalated rapidly to the point where he lost his mind….

“When I opened my eyes, time had passed. Before I knew it, I could see my older brother’s cold gaze in my hands.”

Just by looking at the state of Baeksan, one could tell at once just by looking at the state of Baeksan whose sharp fingernails protruded as if for granted, and the blood soaked in them.

It was not intentional. It was an unconscious defense mechanism. That pushed Endymion into another deep abyss.

“At that time, I couldn’t understand my older brother’s behavior. It was only through the note I dropped from my brother’s chest after he died that I finally learned the reason.”

It is impossible to repeat the same thing over and over again.

“Anyway, all of this is just an illusion. I know that, but… I can understand, albeit feebly, the agony of my older brother who had to put me in an emergency situation.”

So, Endymion was decided. This time, my brother doesn’t have to suffer… Let’s make your wishes come true first.

The sharp-edged fingernails shed a terrifying force in the moonlight coming through the back. Endymion took one step closer to his motionless older brother.

“I don’t know where this is… But, it was nice to see you for a while.”

What my older brother wants… It was that she died at the hands of her brother.

‘What expression are you making?’

Endymion couldn’t make a quick decision because it was different from the development in her memory. However, even though she must have heard all these words, Endymion made an indescribable expression at the sight of his older brother sitting aloof.

Raising the hand, one movement was enough.

f*ck—!

I was stabbed in the vitals. Even if it was an illusion, I didn’t want to give the thing in the form of my older brother a long pain.

‘Why is this happening to me?’

I thought as I pulled out my hand that had been deeply planted in my brother’s body. Endymion looked down at his blood-soaked hands, just like that day, and once glanced at his brother who was soaking the floor in blood.

‘No….’

Even then, I wasn’t sober.

The price to pay to end the nightmare was harsher than I thought.

‘Will it happen again this time?’

Looking into your brother’s arms. Then a note came out. A drop of tear falls from Endymion’s eyes as he reads it expressionlessly.

“In order to save me… What is the power I have… Why did you want to die?”

I’ll just let you die being eaten by your powers.

“Knowing that I wouldn’t kill you if I just did it… You’re deliberately pretending to attack me and pretending to die at my own hands.”

I try to complain to the cold body.

Who the hell is that happiness for, I… I never asked for anything like this.

Damn it— Clink!!

The world begins to crumble. Could it be because the cause of the nightmare was eliminated? The ground starts shaking helplessly. Endymion just stood still as if nailed to it.