Xu Yishi is deeply affectionate

Chapter 3 Yesterday's Right and Today's Wrong
No matter how strong the appearance is, there are times when there is a glass heart.I, Zheng Yinong, am one of such people.

After falling out of love, every time I recall the past, my heart will inevitably be hit by bouts of dull pain.Emotional intelligence is chaotic, and I always want to find an outlet to vent my emotions.

The popularity of scarves and the popularity of circle of friends are not the reasons for Zheng Yinong's early opening.All this is because of him.

"Yinong, let's open a love microblog too, weaving for our love." Zhou Zesheng looked at Zheng Yinong's watery eyes with a smile, and lightly stroked her flowing bangs with both hands.

"Okay, in the future we will all be happy in our memories." Zheng Yinong was delighted, and put his head close to Zhou Zesheng's chest.

In high school, I was not able to fall in love in an open and honest manner, and it was hard to be free and independent in college, but the connections between different departments were not always enough.

Zheng Yinong and him added multi-channel contact methods, established Sina Weibo, and opened WeChat.

An online contact method opened for love, and all the content is mostly related to emotions.It doesn't matter how many fans there are, the key is that he is the one who pays attention to each other.

"Scorching peach blossoms, three thousand prosperity, but there is only one him in this world." Seeing the Weibo forwarding of the beautiful period of love, the scene at that time was clearly reproduced.And the accompanying comment below is his: "Who is so happy?"

How poetic and talented Zhou Zesheng was at that time.

At the time, this was so heartwarming, but now it is simply a kind of irony.Every word is eye-piercing!
The most feared thing is that the situation is passing, things are changing, and people are changing, but the heart is still fettered.

Log in to Weibo, look at those records, those details about their interaction, the plot at that time resurfaced concretely.Looking at it, Zheng Yinong wept silently.

Zheng Yinong once gave up the entire forest for him, because he was the only one in his eyes, and thought that he was the most suitable tree in the entire forest for her at that time, and the other trees were just his foil.

Zheng Yinong once said to himself that all he needs in this life is to find a man like him, and to have a consistent relationship, from youth, to holding hands, to hair blooming, to old teeth.

But somehow things always backfire.In the end, he became a passer-by in Zheng Yinong's life, only adding an episode to her life.

Looking through every Weibo, I always feel sad, sentimental, and reluctant...

"I want to marry the woman arranged by my family. We met three months ago. I have been trying to find a chance to make it clear to you, but I don't have the heart to hurt you. I thought about resisting, but my mother forced me. And she is already pregnant. I was drunk that time, because of our cold war, I was sad and angry, and I was so drunk that I regarded her as you." He spoke indifferently, but there was a little breath between his breath Choking, Zheng Yinong didn't notice.

His words sounded again, piercing Zheng Yinong's heart like steel needles.

"I deserve the breakup, I shouldn't have a cold war!" Zheng Yinong regretted.But who can predict the future?

"'If you were given twenty times of peach blossoms, how would you use them?' When I saw this Weibo reposted at that time, Zheng Yinong's reason for forwarding it was'No matter how many peach blossoms there are, I am willing to give them all to you , [I wish to win the heart of one person, and the white head will not be separated]'".Under this Weibo, he left a touching comment: I only wish to love one person in my life.

Well, I only want to love one person in my life.But Zheng Yinong is not his bride after all.

A lost promise, no matter how beautiful and touching it was at the time, is not even fart if it is not fulfilled.

My heart is so congested, the uncomfortable feeling in my heart is really indescribable.

What kind of dull pain, sharp pain, tingling pain, paroxysmal pain, numb pain, I can't describe the specific pain at that time.

Perhaps, only those who have truly lost their love can understand it.

When you are broken up, you can't find a strong reason, you can't find someone to confide in, you can't find an outlet to vent, this is also very painful.

Lovelorn people either quickly become idiots or lunatics at this time.And Zheng Yinong became a lunatic.Zheng Yinong thoroughly disclosed the secret of her becoming a lunatic in the space.

My heart really hurts.Zheng Yinong typed a diary on the keyboard titled "Broken Love Becomes Crazy":

"I only know the happiness of the new couple, but I don't know the pain of the old one.

Sometimes the previous injury may still be aching, and the pain will wake up from the dream.But new wounds hurt even more.It might just be a dull pain at first, numb, unfeeling, and then slowly, it starts to hurt, throbbing, throbbing.

This kind of complex pain will tear people's heart, make them unable to fall asleep, and eventually make people fall asleep in the pain, and wake up from the dream after a short break from the pain.The pain will continue until it becomes an old problem...

It turned out that the old pain was formed in this way.Since the old pain is so painful, why do so many of us have to get a new injury and bear that pain again?
When this kind of pain of broken love strikes, people who are immersed in this grief are easily unable to extricate themselves, and the pain becomes lunatic.

This kind of lunatic in lovelorn is prone to do crazy things that are contrary to common sense.

For example, drinking alcohol.Going to bars or other places of entertainment to get drunk is the most common thing.Or give up on yourself.Every day I do not do my job properly, do nothing, sleep badly and sleep in the dark.

For men, fighting is a common occurrence, and fists are the outlet for venting anger.I always feel that the physical pain is not worth the mental torture caused by a broken relationship.

In fact, Zheng Yinong didn't quite agree with what others said before.Now, it is still very torturous to really experience the mental pain until I am really broken in love.But it is still not as painful as the physical injury.

When she was sad, Xiao Xiao once told me that she invented a method to transfer pain.That is peeling peppers with bare hands.The hottest kind of chili is best.

When I broke up, I also tried to resolve it in this way.After peeling, I started to feel a burning sensation in about half an hour.

Then there was a hotter burning sensation.At this time, the ten fingers were burning, burning pain, very uncomfortable.Originally, it can be alleviated by soaking in alcohol. If there is no alcohol, use high-grade rice wine instead.However, the ingredients of the pepper have been soaked too deeply, and it is difficult to relieve the burning pain in a short time.So try bubbling it in cool water for a while to relieve the burning pain.

However, the solubility of pepper in cold water becomes smaller, and the pain still does not shorten the time, but is only temporarily relieved.

For the next six hours or so, the burning pain in the fingers will still be severe.Especially the first 2 to 5 hours.I felt the skin of my finger was as painful as being burned by steam, and the inside of my finger was the same degree of burning pain.It even feels that the inside is the source of the burning pain.

When the burning pain starts, the burning finger will intensify as soon as you are close to the heat source.Even using a smartphone, you can feel the heat of the phone screen burning your fingers.Also, even though I wasn't near a heat source, my fingers burned so badly that I couldn't use chopsticks, I could only use a spoon bluntly.

This method of transferring pain can indeed temporarily overcome the mental torture caused by a broken relationship.But using this kind of masochistic way to treat oneself, I have already forgotten the pain of losing love, it is really a lunatic's work. "

……

After writing this low-level stream-of-consciousness diary of a lovelorn, I immediately felt a sense of relief.After Zheng Yinong turned off the internet, he went to look for food to fill his empty stomach, and food sustenance could also temporarily relieve mental torture.

Thinking back to the days of their cold war, Zheng Yinong should have realized that his heart is really not with her anymore.The logs from the Cold War have always shown the truth:

"Because I care, I explain. I'm afraid you'll misunderstand, I don't want you to think about it, and I hope you're happy. I care about your feelings. I care about everything about you and everything about you."

This was Zhou Zesheng's news, but Zheng Yinong didn't notice it at the time.

"It's really hard to chat with you. You always talk and disappear. You don't care about my feelings at all. You just don't value me or the friendship between us."

"Every time you find me, I will reply you immediately. It is also because of you that you often look at your phone. I am afraid of missing your messages. I am afraid that you will not find me, and I am afraid that you will be disappointed."

"And you, have you ever cared about me as much as one-tenth of me. Have you valued me?"

"As a matter of fact, you don't. Really, I don't feel it."

"I like chatting with you, and I like the way you act like a baby."

"The first time I heard you say "good night" and "dear" to me, I was so excited, moved, heart-warming, and satisfied..."

"We still have no reason to continue in the end, although everyone feels that way. You still refuse to say it, and I dare not say it, and I can't say it."

"Whether there can be a tomorrow between us? No one knows. But judging from the current situation, this is impossible."

"And saying anything is possible is a lie. False inspirational words."

In the scene on the flyover, Zheng Yinong should have known that the fate between them had come to an end and had reached the point where it could not be kept.However, she still chose to deceive herself, trying to treat it as a quarrel between lovers, and they would still reconcile as before.

However, at the end of the matter, they became strangers.As soon as Hou Men entered the deep sea, Xiao Lang was a passerby from then on.

How sad and helpless this is.

(End of this chapter)