After wearing the book, I made the villains cry

Chapter 151: Both True and False (22)

"In the past week, do you feel that Song Bingran's suicide by jumping off a building has constantly troubled you?"

"Yes."

"Do you often think of the picture of her dying?"

"Yes."

"When you think of her dying in front of you, is your sadness the same as the day you learned of her death?"

"It's different. Now I'm sadder."

"Do you think Song Bingran's death has anything to do with you?"

"I... I don't know. I think there should be."

"Do you think you brought misfortune to Song Bingran?"

"My mind tells me no, but I can't help myself from thinking that."

"Are you deliberately avoiding your dormitory building? That's where she jumped off."

"Yes, I don't live in the dormitory anymore. I don't live in our rental house either. I rent another house now."

"Do you feel that your classmates are alienating you?"

"I don't know. I haven't been back to school for almost two weeks."

"Have you ever felt irritable recently? Is it difficult to control your emotions?"

"No. I think, I'm calm. I've lost interest in a lot of things."

Su Xi was lying on a comfortable recliner, with no expression on her face, just calmly answering Ai Chengming's question.

The latter sat opposite her, holding a tablet computer in his hand, typing quickly according to Su Xi's answer, and making some records.

It has been two and a half weeks since Song Bingran committed suicide by jumping off a building.

Ai Chengming knew about this earlier. Among all the people Su Xi knew, he was the first to call her, and also the first doctor to invite her to his consulting company for psychotherapy.

He has been a psychiatrist for several years. Over the years, he has received many students suffering from mental illness—junior high school students, high school students, and college students, mostly girls.

Students often come with their parents and guardians.

These girls, because of various problems, are either pessimistic and world-weary and refuse to go to school, or often reveal clear suicide plans, and even put their emotions into action.

Some people are saved, while some people lose their lives forever, never to return to the side of the person who loved her.

Ai Chengming used to be in the obstetrics and gynecology department. Most of the time at work, he was surrounded by two emotions of tension and joy.

Nervousness is because the life and health of pregnant women and newborns are nervous, and the lives of mother and child (female) are entrusted to him, so we must be nervous;
And after the tension is over, most of the time there will be a perfect ending, adults and children are safe and sound, and family members will come to his office to express their gratitude.

But since that accident, he was forced to leave his favorite industry and turn to work as a psychiatrist.

Over the years, he has been in contact with patients with various mental illnesses, and what he feels more is: a sense of deprivation.

What impressed me most was a girl in the third year of high school.

To this day, she is a frequent visitor to his nightmare dreams.

The girl is very beautiful, she is studying in a key experimental middle school, and she has been his patient since the first year of high school.

She told him:

"Doctor Ai, I can't accept that I'm not perfect."

Therefore, as long as she fell out of the top three in the grade in the exam, she would cry bitterly all day, not eating, drinking or sleeping, just crying;

Therefore, she would suddenly not say hello to anyone, and would go missing and leave home for 48 hours. In the past few times, her parents reported to the police to find her. Later, she found out that she was like this, and gradually treated her coldly;
So, from the summer of the first year of high school, she never wore short sleeves again.Because the arm is full of evidence that she hurt herself, using a knife, a ballpoint pen, a compass, any sharp object, can be her tool to hurt herself.

The girl's parents were devastated.

Paranoia makes their daughter excellent, but paranoia also makes their daughter miserable.

Ai Chengming has worked out a variety of treatment plans, but none of them are ideal. All the plans are effective for the first week or two, and then gradually lose their effect.

Ai Chengming was highly suspicious that the girl did not take the medicine properly as prescribed by the doctor.But the parents insisted that they watched her take the medicine every day, and it was impossible not to take the medicine.

It wasn't until the girl passed away that the parents found out when they were packing up the belongings:

All the medicines for depression were secretly replaced by vitamin tablets.

The life he worked so hard to save, the patient he treated so meticulously, finally made his own choice.

Ai Chengming can't help but think:

What was going through her mind every time she sneaked away from real meds and switched to vitamin pills?
Does she hope to be free soon, or does she hope that someone can see her struggle and pain?
What is the right thing to do as a doctor?
I used to be an obstetrician and gynecologist, and my purpose was always clear: to keep patients alive, to cure diseases, and to make patients healthy and happy.

And in the face of mentally ill patients——

To give her freedom, or force her to stay in this painful world?
Withdrawing his thoughts, he looked at the patient in front of him again.

To him, Su Mengxi is a very special patient.

Ever since that particular incident at the hospital, he had been paying attention to a life away from her.

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that he finally confirmed that he could intervene in her life.

Now, this girl who could change the fate of her life was lying in her consulting room, her eyes were quietly closed, her long eyelashes were trembling slightly, her limbs were slender, and her fair skin was glowing faintly.

She believed him.

But he didn't know whether he was qualified to accept this trust.

If she knew the truth, would she still lie in his consulting room without defense like this, discussing the most secret feelings in her heart with herself?

Ai Chengming lost his mind unknowingly, but Su Xi suddenly said:
"Doctor Ai, can I tell you one thing? I haven't told anyone about it yet."

"You said."

"That's right, a few days ago—it should be the day before Bingran's accident—I had a dream."

Ai Chengming stopped typing on the keyboard, his heart was beating like thunder, but his surface was still calm.

"What dream did you have?"

Su Xi blinked:
"This dream is very strange. I obviously... When I first woke up from the dream, I tried very hard to record it in the memo on my mobile phone. But when I opened the memo the next day, I found that I had recorded a lot of blank spaces. And the blank places are all very critical place.

But I am very concerned about this dream, and I always feel that this dream is not done for no reason.Dr. Ai, can you do me a favor?Can you help me recover this dream? "

Ai Chengming pressed the end of the gel pen, retracted the refill into the barrel, paused, and replied in a jerky voice:
"can."

Su Xi rarely smiled slightly: "Thank you, Dr. Ai. The extra hours of psychological treatment will be settled at the front desk when I go out."

"Student Su, you don't need to worry about this. Now your task is the same as mine, which is to restore you to a normal mental state as soon as possible."

"I see, Doctor Ai."

"Then let's start."

Su Xi adjusted a lying position and closed her eyes.

(End of this chapter)