Global time travel

Chapter 121 Don't Click In

It’s embarrassing. I cried halfway through this chapter. I fabricated the winger’s story, but I was so moved that I was completely moved. Especially when I wrote the part about repaying my parents, I couldn’t help but burst into tears.

Some people say that people who have not cried bitterly in the middle of the night are not enough to talk about life.

Although I have done it more than once, and it was deeply touched by him, I still can't agree with this. Everyone's life belongs to themselves, and naturally they have different opinions. We can't talk without crying late at night. In life, this is obviously nonsense. People with low tear points may cry bitterly every night. Wouldn't crying for a long time be a sermon?

Of course, this is just a kind complaint based on the superficial meaning. I have also experienced the helplessness and heartbreak behind these words.

The winger only felt the regret, guilt and kindness in life when his death was approaching. I felt it by the way when I wrote this story in the dead of night.

I have to say, I thought of a lot.

Grandma was the person who loved me the most since I was a child. When I was young, I was rebellious. I never listened to anyone, but I would never disobey what she said.Grandma passed away at the age of 81, which is considered a long life. At that time, I was already twenty-four, and tears flowed, but I didn't cry bitterly.

Until one late night a few years later, I suddenly recalled inexplicably the bits and pieces of my childhood with my grandma. I remembered that I was busy with work and various chores these years, and rarely went back to visit her old man. She is shy and has never bought her any good things, nor has she given her much money.

But it turned out that before she left, she specifically asked her aunt to give me a little more of the tens of dollars that she kept on her body, which should be distributed to her three grandchildren according to the custom.

Thinking of this, my tears couldn't stop immediately, and I buried myself in the quilt and cried loudly. I have never tried to cry so sadly in my life. Even when my mother suffered a cerebral hemorrhage ten years ago and was dying, I would cry. Never cried like this.

And now, as I write this, the tears are still flowing.

I believe that many people have had a similar experience. Relatives, especially the elderly, usually don’t feel too sad when they pass away, but when they think about it late at night, they just realize what it means to be heartbroken.

I write these out not to make you cry, but just because I suddenly understand this truth, and I don’t want to vomit.

I will be 30 years old in two years. So far, I have achieved nothing. Naturally, there will be many people who owe me money, but I rarely repay them, let alone the dripping water. The kind that fails.

However, I am still looking for various reasons for myself. I have no background, no capital, and no skills. I want to make a living by writing online, but I can't even guarantee basic updates.

At a certain time in the past, I also hated myself like a winger, and determined to work hard in the future and use a beautiful report card to thank those who had underestimated me.

Facts in the past few years have proved that I am just throwing shit on the wall at most, not working hard enough, paranoid enough, and letting go enough.

So, starting today, I really have to write a book seriously.

(End of this chapter)