my wife is a showman

Chapter 6 The Cold Slipper Bottom
"I advise you to turn out your heart, lungs and intestines, dry them in the sun, wash them, and tidy them up..."

"If our place is a bit rotten, the Qing Dynasty will be rotten. If you are all rotten, all parts of the Qing Dynasty will rise up and let us die without a place to die! Think about it, Emperor Chongzhen Zhu Youjian..."

"Pa... can't speak clearly."

Second time.

"Pa... pay attention to the rhythm."

The third time.

"Crack...the sound is too low."

Fourth time.

"You are the emperor, not a eunuch, momentum! momentum! momentum! bang bang bang..."

The fifth time hasn’t started yet.

"Pa...you're distracted."

Xu Lang was angry.

"You keep whipping me with your slippers, can you not be distracted?"

"Pa... there is no such line."

Xu Lang: !!(╯'-')╯︵┻━┻

In the afternoon, when his mother was at home, Xu Lang could only go to the park to find a place where no one was around to practice the sketch performance. The task assigned by the system was "Selling Abductees".

This is more difficult than reciting lines in the morning and requires performing in Northeastern dialect.

Xu Lang's limbs were uncoordinated, and he couldn't let go at all. People passed by from time to time, and the system had given up the slippers and started beating people with a washboard.

He is just an otaku typing on the keyboard, except for his flexible hands, other parts are almost rusted.

"The host is introverted by nature, unable to enter the performance state, take a break temporarily, conserve energy, and go to the square at night to learn the ghost step dance "Forget You"."

"This project includes physical coordination, vocal training, please memorize the lyrics in advance."

Xu Lang sat on the chair with sweat profusely, opened the video just recorded, his performance was really embarrassing.

Whenever someone passed by, his voice would involuntarily become quieter, his limbs would become stiff, and his eyes would be irritated.

It would be even worse if it was in full view, or with a camera.

The thought of performing a square dance gave him a headache.

I have never danced since I was a child, let alone such a fast-paced dance.

The chat records with Tang Sinuo are his only spiritual motivation now.

At night, Yaya is very clingy to Xu Lang. Walking the baby is a must, so he can only take his daughter there, just in time for her to help shoot the video.

"Dad, why are you dancing? You don't want to find me a new mother, do you?" Xu Xiaoya asked.

"Silly girl, the square is full of grandparents, who don't match my age, but I'm in a bad mood recently and want to relax."

"Well, Dad has been too tired recently."

Xu Xiaoya nodded understandingly. She was almost six years old and was already smart. After going through so many things, she was much more sensible than ordinary children.

The system requires Xu Lang to learn at a fast pace. Although the interview only depends on whether the body is coordinated and does not need to be professional, it should not be too old-fashioned.

Recently, the ghost step dance has become popular in the square dance world.

The most popular group of dance troupes in the park is exactly this kind of dance. "Forget You" is also one of the golden songs of square dancing. The dancers are basically 50-[-]-year-old aunts and uncles.

Xu Lang paid 200 yuan to the dance teacher, and walked to the last row to follow.

Xu Xiaoya was sitting on the edge of the flower bed, with her hands on her head, staring at her uncoordinated father dancing like a penguin.

"Dad, shouldn't you go to the front, where others can't see it."

"Dad danced specifically for you to see." Xu Lang replied.

"Pa... didn't keep up with the rhythm."

"Crack...the sense of strength is not enough."

"Crack... Sing the lyrics."

"Pah... get excited, have a matching expression, and look the audience in the eye."

Xu Xiaoya looked at her father grinning like a mental patient, with a rich expression, and seemed to be in pain. She was very worried, and quickly asked, "Dad, are you feeling unwell?"

"No, Dad is fine."

The audience was also amused by him. Others danced to exercise their bodies, and this guy was performing facial cramps.

A kind-hearted elder sister in her 40s beside him smiled and said, "Just look at me, otherwise it will be easy to get dazzled."

"Thank you!"

"Aren't you old?" the eldest sister asked.

"35 years old, exercise your muscles and bones."

"You are not young anymore. Men's bodies decline quickly. The one in my family just refused to move and left before he was 50 years old."

Xu Lang smiled awkwardly.

"Is that your daughter?"

"Yes."

"where's your wife?"

"Not here either."

"Life is impermanent, your child is too young, you should find another one while you are young."

"No hurry."

"It's even harder to find one after you're over [-]. My daughter goes to college away from home, and it's freezing when she comes home, so I stay in the store."

"Understandable."

"Did you buy a house nearby?"

Xu Lang nodded, but didn't answer, he dragged his family along, who would want to marry his daughter to him.

"I also live nearby, and my job is relatively easy. Come to me tomorrow, and I will teach you the dance steps alone, and I promise you will be able to do it in one day."

Xu Xiaoya pouted and rolled her eyes, walked over and said, "Grandma, my father has to go to work tomorrow."

"Hey, call me auntie, I don't have a granddaughter as old as you." The eldest sister smiled and pulled the little girl over, "Dance with auntie, children don't charge money."

Xu Lang couldn't help but move a few steps away, not daring to look at the optimistic and lively elder sister.

"I don't mean anything else, just warm-hearted, but don't think too much about it." The eldest sister quickly explained.

"Pa... don't be distracted, start singing."

Xu Lang: Who the hell is so distracted?
"I said I was stupid,

soft ears,

Just for the momentary atmosphere,

I'm full of anger YA~..."

At the end of the day, Xu Lang's bones were about to fall apart, and he only got 8 points. He earned 5 points for his lines recitation, 3 points for running in the morning, and didn't earn a single point for sketch performance and dancing, which failed to meet the requirements.

When telling stories to his daughter, he couldn't keep his eyes open.

After watching the video of today's practice, I was a little worried. There are only six days left.

Tang Sinuo didn't take the initiative to chat with him, probably because he was too busy, or fell asleep.

……

After running the next day, he practiced his lines more than ten times. Xu Lang passed the first-level Mandarin in college, and his eloquence was fine. He was originally going to be a high school Chinese teacher.

The main punishment of the system is acting skills, there is no imperial aura at all, just like plain water.

The acting class of "Selling Abductees" has not been touched.

"We still have to work harder on liberating our nature, otherwise we won't find the feeling of acting." Xu Lang analyzed.

He carried five catties of apples to the mahjong parlor. Last night, Sister Ma was the proprietress here, and there was usually no business in the morning.

Sister Ma was practicing new dance music with a big man in his 50s in the mahjong room. Xu Lang felt inferior to that kind of enthusiasm.

In terms of liberating nature, no one is more open than the square dancing aunts. They don't care what others think, they just want to make themselves happy.

Xu Lang suddenly realized that everyone in life is an actor, and his acting skills are even better than many celebrities.

Practitioners are nothing more than artistically exaggerating these daily behaviors and transforming them into audio-visual language.

"Hey, rare customer." Sister Ma was very happy, pouring water and passing cigarettes again.

"I quit, thank you." Xu Lang nodded and thanked.

"It's good to quit, it's good to quit." Sister Ma praised repeatedly.

"Little Ma, who is this?" the man asked.

"Friends who are learning the ghost step dance, Lao Wang, you should go back first."

"I want to learn too."

"You already know it, go, go, don't make trouble."

"I'll take a look, can't I?"

"roll!"

When Sister Ma pushed Old Wang Qiang out, he gave Xu Lang a hard look, obviously displeased.

The system also pops up a prompt.

"The material has been collected successfully. It has been collected into the category of urban life dramas. You can search for keywords #恶恨##情战# to extract."

It seems that this old Wang is the suitor of Sister Ma. After all, Sister Ma has been exercising for a long time, and her figure is much better than that of her peers. She looked good when she was young, and she dressed well.

Moreover, she has her own storefront, three sets of demolished houses in her family, and is financially independent. She is at the top of the food chain for middle-aged and elderly people to choose a spouse. Otherwise, she would not dare to attack Xu Lang, who is seven years younger than herself.

Xu Lang extracted Lao Wang's expression, good guy, the corner of his mouth was grinning with anger, and the muscles on the left side of his face twitched.

As for?
(End of this chapter)