Earth Survival Guide

Chapter 1 Hello everyone, I come from a strange place
"Dear judges and teachers, hello everyone, I am a scientific researcher from the M55 star cluster. My name on earth is Gu Tao. I have been here for six years. I am here to bring you a song. "

"Stop, let me ask you, what do you mean from the M55 star cluster? Are young people now so casual?"

"Oh, this, let me explain to you. The M55 star cluster is located in the center of the Milky Way and belongs to a second-class civilization. The earth should be called Sagittarius, which is about [-] light-years away from the earth. I arrived on the earth six years ago for scientific research mission, and then because of communication and positioning equipment failures, I was left here forever. But I like the earth very much, so I continued my scientific research career, and hoped to use music to connect the earth of the fifth-class civilization and the second-class civilization We are closely united, and I will bring you a song of swords and fires."

The four judges all looked like they couldn't smile, and one of the older judges waved his hand: "You go back first, we will call you if there is news."

"But teacher, I haven't sung yet."

"go out!"

"Why don't you listen to me first...don't, don't do it." Gu Tao broke free from the guard's clutches, sighed and bowed to the judges: "I still hope that everyone can finish listening..."

"roll!"

Gu Tao, who was kicked out of the audition site, was sitting on the side of the road. It was already late autumn and the temperature was a little low, but no matter how low the temperature was, it couldn't compare to the coldness in his heart.

"I'm almost hungry." He looked up at a persimmon sticking out of the courtyard wall, and then opened his mouth wide.

After waiting for about half an hour, the persimmon still hadn't fallen into his mouth, but he was almost starving, so he stood up resentfully, and walked back the way he had come with his broken guitar in his arms.

He is now renting at a friend's house for half a year.Strictly speaking, he has been moving around in different places, living here for a period of time today, and living there for a period of time tomorrow, and the current residence is the home of a dead fat man he met in the underground passage, and he is the only one in the world who knows Gu Thao was convinced that he came from the M55 star cluster.

"I'm back." Gu Tao opened the door and sat on the sofa dejectedly: "I failed again today."

But as soon as he finished speaking, he found that the atmosphere today was not right, because there were a lot of things scattered on the ground, the dead fat man's favorite figure, head and hand were separated, and the game console that he played with last night Also lying in the living room torn apart, the whole room can be said to be a mess.

Just when he thought the house was being attacked by gangsters, a sharp voice came from the innermost room: "If you don't let your crazy friend who said he came from Centaur get out today, then we will break up." .”

"How can you do this? What is he doing to you here?"

"What did you say was bothering me? That's a liar! I'm doing it for your own good, but you're actually being cruel to me?"

Only then did Gu Tao realize that it was the girlfriend of the dead fat house who came to lose his temper, and the root of the temper seemed to be because of himself...

He thought for a while, then tiptoed into the back room, just in time to see the scene where the dead fat man was confronting his girlfriend, he laughed out loud, because the dead fat man was wearing a pair of underpants now, and his body was covered with white fat Looks like a unique texture.

"Ah, Tingting. It's not Centaurus, but the star cluster M55 in Sagittarius."

"Are you back?" The fat man gave his girlfriend a sideways glance, and then walked out with a forced smile: "How is today? Did you succeed?"

Gu Tao glanced at the fat man with scratches on his face and his girlfriend who was blocked behind him but had a bad look, then nodded vigorously, and said excitedly, "Dude is going to be hot!"

"Really?" The fat man obviously didn't believe it, he knew how bad the grandson's singing was: "Are the judges deaf or blind?"

"You don't have confidence in me? Don't talk nonsense with you. I'll tidy up and prepare to move to the training center. One of the judges said they liked me and planned to sign me directly." Gu Tao patted his chest and said, "When you guys get rich, The crayfish are enough, get out of the way, I'll get something."

Pushing the fat man aside, he walked into the room, smiled at the girl who was staring at him, and put the small amount of luggage into a backpack, put the bag on his back quickly and went out.

"Don't give it away, bring me some bread in the refrigerator." Gu Tao pointed to the refrigerator: "I have to take a long-distance bus to the provincial capital, and there is no time to prepare."

The fat man quickly took everything out of the refrigerator, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Gu Tao. While standing at the door, he lowered his head and patted Gu Tao on the shoulder: "Brother... I'm sorry."

Gu Tao didn't speak, just pinched his stomach: "My brother is going to be hot."

After speaking, he turned around and left, carrying a bundle of clothes and a broken guitar, and went downstairs like this, leaving the place where he had lived for half a year.

When he was on the road, he turned his head and found that fat man was standing at the window looking at him, but he didn't care, he just blew a kiss, and then strode away.

Of course, there are some things that everyone knows well. Fatty is just fat, but he is not inferior to anyone in terms of IQ. It's not that he doesn't know Gu Tao's singing skills, so he can be liked, unless the judges are interested in him the flesh.

Going back to the persimmon tree, Gu Tao looked at the fully ripe persimmon and stood with his mouth open for a while, but this time the persimmon still didn't fall, which really disappointed him.

But what made him worse than the persimmon not falling was that he had nowhere to go this time.I still have 12 yuan left on my body, and my rations are only a few ham sausages and a few pieces of hard bread. It should be no problem to survive for three days on these, but... the next days may be difficult, and I can’t live every day. Come here and wait for that broken persimmon to fall into your mouth.

After eating a piece of bread on the side of the road, and then picking up a mineral water bottle from the side of the road, drinking some tap water and having a good time, he began to think about the road ahead for the first time today...

"Hey, little girl, give me some money."

After much deliberation, Gu Tao thought it would be nice to beg for food, but after all he had no experience, so he had no choice but to ask for it.And just at this time, a little girl in a high school uniform passed by the side of the road, pushing a bicycle with a sad face.

"I...I have no money."

The little girl was taken aback by Gu Tao, and instinctively thought that she had encountered a bad person, so she spoke with trepidation.

"No money? I can't." Gu Tao rubbed his head: "So, your bicycle is broken? I'll fix it for you, and you give me money."

"Huh? Then... how much does it cost?"

"Look at it, one hundred and two hundred is not too much, and ten and twenty is not too little." Gu Tao said, grabbing the bicycle with his hands, and then actually took out a set of tools from the bag: "Look, I look professional in this outfit, right?”

"Professional...professional."

"That's a major. I'm the only genius in M55 who was admitted to Civic University at the age of 14." Gu Tao fiddled with the bicycle: "If there are enough materials, I'll build a water drop shuttle for you."

In a few words, the bicycle was as good as ever under his fiddling, Gu Tao tried it on, and handed the bicycle to the little girl with satisfaction: "Give me the money."

"I... I'm only fifty."

"Then how much do you plan to give?"

"How much do you want?"

"Now it's not a question of how much I want, but a question of how much you plan to give." Gu Tao was angry and funny: "Why can't you understand the words? No wonder you are still a fifth-class civilization for so many years."

"Then... all fifty are for you." The little girl was startled by his gossip, confused: "It's really gone..."

Gu Tao thought for a while, took 50 yuan, tilted his head and glanced at the high school girl, then took out a pen from his pocket, picked up a cigarette box on the roadside, tore it open, and wrote this Website: "If you encounter something that you can't solve in the future, come here to see me. I owe you a favor."

"Oh... oh... good."

After receiving the cigarette case, the little girl stuffed it into her schoolbag, got on the bike and ran away like flying, while Gu Tao looked at the back of her fleeing in a hurry, and sighed silently: "Weak chicken."

But after he finished speaking, he raised the 50 yuan in his hand and looked at the sky, then kissed him forcefully and said to himself: "I have money for the meal!"

With the money, he first had a delicious meal, ordered fried chicken and sour plum soup, which cost a total of 40 yuan, and after the meal, he found that it was already dark, and there was a faint tendency to rain heavily outside.

"Ah... I'm going to start thinking about life for the second time today." Gu Tao sat on his seat and said to himself: "Where do you live?"

His expression was very tangled, as if he had many choices, and finally he seemed to have made up his mind, gritted his teeth and stood up with his bag on his back.

Braving the light rain, he got on the bus all the way to the terminal and walked for 15 minutes. After his body was almost soaked, he finally came to an abandoned air-raid shelter.

Before entering, there was a smell of urine at the entrance of the cave. Anyway, I couldn't tell whether it was animal urine or human urine. Anyway, the smell was very bad.

He stood at the entrance of the cave for a while, covered his mouth and nose and walked in slowly.

The air-raid shelter was very deep, and he kept walking inside until he reached a place where there was almost no light. He suddenly raised his arm, and after pressing a few times on the broken electronic watch, suddenly there was a buzzing sound in the cave , Then the surrounding lights suddenly lit up, and the wall facing him slowly separated, and there was a spaceship with a strange shape inside. The spaceship looked very sci-fi, and it was as long as 50 meters.

"Welcome back, Explorer."

The unique voice of artificial intelligence came from the spaceship, and then the hatch slowly opened, and there were fluorescent road signs on the road guiding Gu Tao onto the spaceship.

When he came to the rest cabin, he went to the soft bed and said sadly, "I'm still back."

"This is where you should be."

"Damn it, it's not because of you!" Gu Tao suddenly pointed at the ceiling and cursed: "If you hadn't said to try FM connection, why would I be stranded in this shitty place. It's been six years! Have you figured out a way? "

"I am deeply sorry for this. But if there are no accidents, the mother planet has sent a rescue team, and it will arrive soon." The voice of the artificial intelligence actually contained shyness: "I am very sorry.

"What I'm really afraid of is not whether the rescue team will come, but what I'm afraid of is that the home planet will regard this place as an aggressive civilization, do you understand?"

"Understood, but I have been continuously sending harmless signals into space, so this problem should not occur."

Speaking of this, Gu Tao suddenly thought of his teacher back then.

"The universe is deep. In theory, life may appear where there are stars, and once life is born, there is a great possibility that civilization will be born."

"Why do I need to learn about backward civilizations? They still ride horses. What's the point of this information?"

Facing his question, the teacher next to him walked here with a serious face and said in a majestic voice: "The birth of great civilizations all started from the wild. According to the analysis of the DNA map, they are the closest race to us. , aren't you curious at all?"

"I'm not curious."

"You!" The teacher flushed with anger and pressed his head with his big hand: "Remember, we are not an aggressive civilization. Our goal is to help all non-aggressive civilizations achieve glory."

"Then... I have a question." He touched his chin: "What if it is an aggressive civilization?"

"Destroy it."

"Hey, old man. Although you are my teacher, I have also questioned your thinking mode. We are indeed an advanced civilization, but who gave us the right to destroy other civilizations, whether they are aggressive civilizations or not."

"Is it possible that if I choose to participate in the scientific research project on this planet, I can deeply understand whether they are aggressive civilizations?" He actually understands that some things cannot be changed, such as the laws of the universe, so he swallowed the following words silently. if.

"In theory, it is, but I want to remind you that once you embark on this road, there are many dangers ahead, and you will lose your life at any time, and even if you succeed, when you return, our world will become strange to you."

"What does it matter? I was born a scientist." At that time, he had a pretty smile, with curved eyelashes and curved eyes: "I volunteer to participate in this civilization investigation."

"Then do you have a detailed understanding of this planet?"

He stood up and said solemnly, "I will learn."

The teacher smiled with emotion: "You have to remember your mission."

Although he was not curious, he joined the exploration plan as a preparatory scientific expedition member with an inexplicable sense of mission. After studying the classification, appearance and cultural characteristics of people on Earth, he gave himself the A name on earth - Gu Tao.

Of course, the investigation of civilization is not a trip that just goes away. Even with their technology, it will take a long time to travel more than 100 light years. Even after using the latest space technology, this journey will take [-] years It takes years to complete.

The content of scientific research is also divided into social civilization progress, technological civilization level, aggressiveness analysis, and biodiversity investigation. Therefore, a general scientific research team will consist of five people, and these five people are usually selected from the elite of the whole world. elite.

Therefore, the people participating in this project are all heroes with great determination. The oldest of them is a 36-year-old military attache who is responsible for preventing space pirates and ensuring the safety of scientific expedition members, and the youngest is 15-year-old Gu Tao.

Now occasionally in his sleep, he still often dreams that he has returned to a familiar place, continuing to be his genius with a sense of superiority.

"What are the chances we'll go back?"

"If there is no accident, it is one in 300 million. If the rescue team appears, the probability will increase to one in five hundred. Also, can you call me by my name? I am your partner , is your assistant."

"Get out." Gu Tao turned over: "You stupid assistant, can you cook? I'm going to be hungry."

"I'm sorry, I won't. But with your knowledge and the equipment on the Discovery, why did you suffer so badly?"

After listening to Gu Tao, he stood up with a bang, his face full of anger: "It is easy to learn bad and difficult to learn good, please correct your core logic for me as soon as possible, remember what we said when we set off? Explorers are not allowed to Any way to interfere with the progress of other civilizations!"

"Okay, please continue to be hungry."

"Fuck your grandma, I'm going to format you now!"

After arguing with an artificial intelligence for half an hour, Gu Tao finally calmed down. He said that he was also helpless. After all, the only thing that can understand him now is this broken program. If it is really formatted, after losing the calendar year Based on the behavioral pattern data, this artificial intelligence, which is the most advanced even on its home planet, may only be used as Siri.

"Hey, help me search all the job advertisements in this city, the ones with room and board are the best." Gu Tao sat in the driver's seat and looked at the dashboard: "By the way, how much energy do you have left?"

"Theoretically, if we don't travel through time and space, the remaining energy I have left can run all the equipment at full capacity for 3000 years. You can use it at ease. Would you like me to start the rail gun for you or order all the Titan mechs to enter Annihilation mode?"

"Wow..." Gu Tao covered his face: "Where did your war-mad thinking come from! Please, I don't want a rail gun or a Titan. I want a job that can provide me with a full meal. We can't go back, we can't go back, little sister!"

"Theoretically, you can't go back, sorry."

"Yeah, I can't go back, I want to survive, I want to survive! Quickly find me a job advertisement."

"Do you want me to invade the weapon systems of all the nuclear powers in the world? Let's reshuffle the world order."

Gu Tao stared blankly at the front monitor, then silently opened a black box with his fingerprints, and took out a metal plate.

"formatting, yes or no"

"Twelve suitable jobs have been found for you. The nearest is 12 kilometers away from you and the farthest is 35 kilometers away. Two are in the catering industry and seven are in the construction industry. The remaining..."

Gu Tao put the metal plate back silently: "You, it's just itchy skin."

　The new book is here. Long time no see, everyone. I will work very hard to write this book. After all, I will really be hungry if I play more.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)