I have the fairy medicine book

Chapter 463 Shouldn't See the Light
Li Zhian appeared downstairs in his small dilapidated building, looking up at the rusty ladder with a bewildered expression.

Blood slid across the corners of his eyes, wet and greasy, and he felt as if there was a bug with mucus under its feet lying on his face.

He wiped the blood from his face, and sat down on the last step of the ladder in a daze.

The evening wind was so cool that he curled up into a ball and clasped his toes as usual.

He couldn't remember how he got here, and when he regained consciousness, he was already downstairs.

As the wind blew tighter after another, he buried his face in his lap, and couldn't help but think of the piece of mutton that the big sister had pinched for him.

Those big gentle eyes were pulled out of his memory, and he felt a little warmer in his body.

This is the tenderness he has never felt since he was a child.

Just thinking that this beauty is gone, he shed tears of grievance.

His mother carried the suitcase and walked down the stairs. Looking at the small figure from behind, she was stunned.

She didn't expect Li Zhian to come back alive.

Now, how should she face him?
She glanced at the suitcase in her hand, and stood there blankly, not daring to take a step down.

Li Zhian cried unbearably, and his body that had just warmed up gradually cooled down amidst his crying.

His mother's eyes softened, and she remembered that she was also a mother, and when she realized it, she was already sitting behind Li Zhian.

Even though the person sitting below was her son, she felt so alien that she didn't know how to say those heart-warming words when they came to her lips.

Will be hated by him?
She has always ignored him, but now she finally thinks about being a good mother, even she herself finds it ironic.

Her life was so darkened by herself that she sometimes even forgot that she had a child.

She pursed her lips, slowly raised her hand, leaned forward, and approached Li Zhian's shoulder a little bit.

She was scared and her hands were shaking.

Finally, she put her hand on Li Zhian's shoulder, but Li Zhian trembled, subconsciously stood up, turned around and took a few steps back.

Her hands just froze in mid-air.

Then, a self-deprecating smile appeared on her face.

Sure enough, I still can't be a good mother.

She retracted her hand, held her chin, and a smile appeared on her unprecedented face.

"I'm leaving." She said softly, "Do you want to follow me?"

Li Zhian hesitated. If he would have agreed without hesitation before, anyway, he doesn't have any relatives to join him. With this woman, at least he can eat and have a place to live.

"It's okay if you don't want to follow me. Your father's friends are here to pick you up. It's the same if you live with them." Her tone was as flat as saying goodbye to another friend.

Li Zhian swallowed: "I know."

He knows it all.

Not only did he know that his father's friend was willing to offer 200 million to redeem him, but he also knew that his mother didn't want him anymore and left him to fend for himself.

That's why he's hesitating now.

In this woman all his fantasies about the role of mother were shattered.

He would rather starve to death on the street than follow her.

He's had enough.

"Then, how do you choose?"

"Go on your own. When you arrive in the next city, find a reliable person and marry him. It's better than anything else to live in peace and stability."

Li Zhian said in a mature tone that was not commensurate with his age.

"You really look like your father." She smiled, lowered her head, and after a long silence, she suddenly said, "I'm sorry."

"Ok?"

"I think I should say sorry to you. If I don't say it now, there will be no chance in the future." She tried her best to control her voice, and said slowly: "Actually, I also tried to be a good mother in the past, but you, I was so dishonest when I was a child, crying all the time, which made me more and more impatient. I'm not blaming you. I mean, I'm not ready to be a mother. It's your father who insisted on making me When you were born, we had a very unpleasant fight, I was annoyed when you were born, very annoying, I don't like children, I didn't like children when I was young."

"You really shouldn't have given birth to me back then." Li Zhian's voice was cold.

"Yeah, I think so too." She lowered her eyes, staring at a reddish-brown rust spot at her feet.

"Watching you suffer, do you think I feel good? I also want to give you a stable life, let you go to school like other children, buy you toys, cook for you, I have tried, I can't do it Now, I'm used to drinking and drinking, I can't do other jobs, I really can't do it. I'm just a rotten person, you can let me be a rotten person, but you let me live in a down-to-earth manner? "

Li Zhi'an's mother shook her head slowly, her heart sank due to the deep sense of powerlessness, she laughed inexplicably, and tears fell while smiling.

"Do you know what I hate the most about you?" There was crying in her voice, and hatred between her brows when she spoke: "Looking at you, I think of my incompetence. I was living a good life like this, yes Your appearance made me feel guilty, you made me want to live a good life, people like me should not have such extravagant hopes., Do you understand!!!"

She thumped her heart repeatedly, with a pleading tone in her voice: "I'll be sad to death, do you understand?"

Li Zhian was silent, he was still young, he could only understand half of these words.

Perhaps it is not appropriate to attribute the reason for not understanding these words to being young. Subconsciously, he rejects his brain to deeply understand what his mother said.

His mother's reluctance to bring him into this world was enough to suffocate him.

He just wants to find a place to be alone.

His mother couldn't continue, picked up the suitcase, and strode past him. At the moment she passed him, his mother didn't even stop to look at him.

A taxi pulled up in front of his mother, who stooped into the car.

Leaning on the back of the seat, she cried so much that the taxi driver asked her, are you not taking your child?
She cried and replied, that's not my baby.Finally, she added, I have no children.

The taxi drove away, and Li Zhian sat on the ladder, expressionlessly watching the street lights that flickered on and off, watching the plastic bags being blown up by the wind and hanging on the wires.

Everything seems to be the same as before, and it seems that everything has changed.

He remembered the piece of mutton that the big sister had caught for him again.

Soft and tender, delicious.

Li Zhian made a chewing movement with his mouth unconsciously, and the gentle smiling face of that big sister kept reappearing in his mind.

The moon crawled out from behind the dark clouds. At this moment, his heart was completely chilled.

(End of this chapter)