i'm the villain

Chapter 12 The Psychiatrist
After the task was clearly explained, Luo went back to his room and lay down.

He didn't pay much attention to what the guys were talking about later.

……

Luo's room is surprisingly tidy, which is a world of difference compared to Zach's chicken coop.Probably because there are too few things displayed in the room.A bed, a chair, a table, that's all, no decorative items on the walls and ceiling.

After Luo closed the door, without turning on the lights, the whole room was pitch black. Even in the daytime, there was no trace of light, and it was completely invisible.

He lay on the bed, quietly listening to the ticking of the clock hands.

When the cowboy said that the location of this mission was in China, Luo felt somewhat ups and downs in his heart, and could even be said to be a little at a loss.

It has been more than seven years since he left the place where he was born.

Seven years, Luo spent seven years, from a nine-year-old problem child to a mercenary.Before that, he was still reading the text word by word in elementary school, chasing and fighting with other children on the playground after class, and returning home with a schoolbag after school...

In fact, if you assume that Luo is living a normal life like other ordinary children, graduating from elementary school and then going to middle school, and then admitted to university...

No, he is only 16 now, he should still be in high school...

……

In these years, Luo never thought of going back, at least not so soon.

It is undeniable that before the age of nine, he did spend a long period of time as happy as other children in his childhood, but these memories have become very blurred, and Luo has been unable to recall them completely, and refuses to recall them.

During the seven years, the images of that period of time would only appear in the nightmares at night, and the dream was always the year when he was nine years old.

That was probably the beginning of such a dramatic change in his life.

……

A nine-year-old boy is carrying a shovel as tall as himself with great difficulty, digging soil in his small yard.

Although it was very difficult, he did not give up.

He imitated the appearance of an adult, stepped the shovel into the soil, held the handle at the other end, and turned the soil over with his body weight, repeating again and again.

He needs to dig a small hole in which to plant a sapling.

This is an assignment assigned by the school teacher, because today is Arbor Day.

The boy was sweating profusely, with mud sticking to his body and face, and he was in a mess.

In fact, this should be done by the parents with the children, but unfortunately, the boy's father has been on a business trip for the past few days, and he hasn't even called home, and the mother has not left work yet, so only the boy is left at home Alone.

Under the red sunset, the boy turned the soil over with shovel by shovel.Sweat dripped down his nose and chin, seeping into the dirt...

Exhausted, he ran back to the house, took out a bottle of soda from the refrigerator and drank a few sips, took a short rest, and continued digging.

He hopes that the saplings can be planted before his mother leaves work, and he also looks forward to seeing the trees he planted when his father returns from a business trip.

……

Later, the pit was dug.

But his sapling was never planted again.

……

The hostess returned home. In the yard, she saw her son, who was covered in mud marks all over his body, sitting in the mud, staring blankly at the things she dug out of the mud.

The child tilted his head with a blank expression, but the tears in his eyes couldn't stop gushing out.

The setting sun that was about to set behind him dyed the whole yard red, a dazzling scarlet.

like blood.

Seeing this scene, the mother knelt powerlessly on the ground...

……

Around that time, a child's immature spiritual world collapsed.

……

Luo woke up with a start.

He saw the darkness of the room in his field of vision instead of the bloody red just now, and his panting gradually calmed down.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Luo turned on the switch of the bedside computer.

Sleep time tonight is over.

Luo is very strange, because this dream has not appeared for a long time.

During the first two years, such specific dreams did occur frequently, but later the nightmares took on a very vague form.

In the dream there was no boy, no sapling and no mother, nothing.He couldn't see anything, he could only feel the oppression, the suffocating oppression.

This vague dream haunted Luo like a shadow for years.

Probably because of the mention of returning to China today, his nightmare returned to its original state.

……

A beam of blue light appeared in the dark room.

The sound of the computer starting up brought Luo's thoughts back to reality.

Luo saw four or five message notifications pop up on the screen.

He knew who those messages were, and after a moment, he clicked on those audio messages.

A series of familiar voices came into Luo's ears.

"Why haven't you been online recently?"

"Hey, hey, if you don't reply, I won't be able to complete my psychological report."

"Please reply if you receive it~"

"When are you free? Let me know when you see the news..."

The voice of the audio file comes from a girl. The voice is not very sweet, but it can be heard to be very energetic.

Interestingly, the language she speaks in the audio is Chinese.

After listening to a series of voices, Luo replied with a text message:
"exist."

The owner of the voice message is not some artificial intelligence, nor is it from some virtual social software.

She is Luo's psychiatrist.

In fact, before her, Luo also had a psychiatrist in reality, but when the doctor tried to hypnotize Luo and extract information from him, he disappeared from this world.

Luo knew that he had a problem, and basically everyone in the club knew about it.

This is not just reflected in his usual indifference. In the most unstable situation, Luo may lose control of his behavior. For example, in a mission a year ago, if the crocodile and Chris hadn't stopped him , he may have massacred a dozen hostages who were originally rescue targets.

If it is explained from a psychological point of view, that Luo who is about to slaughter the hostages can be regarded as his other personality.

And if Luo's guess is correct, this personality is his self before the age of nine...

……

After he got rid of his old therapist, Zach referred him to a counseling website and found him a therapist there.

This is a kind of online psychological consultation. The website is filled with qualified and certified experts from all over the world, and patients and doctors communicate through the Internet.Facts have proved that communication under the medium of the Internet makes it easier for some patients to accept.

This is the case for Luo, at least he is not opposed to talking with his psychiatrist now, instead of sending her a load of bullets as soon as he finds out that there is a problem with the other party.

……

As soon as Luo's reply was sent, the other party's audio call request popped up on the screen.

"..."

After thinking about it, Luo pressed the answer button.

"Dear little Luoluo~ why have you disappeared for so long?"

As soon as the call was connected, the girl's playful voice came.

"Be normal."

Luo is still the same, and he doesn't even crack a joke.

His dialogue with the psychiatrist is in Chinese.

Although there will be a little bit of accent, it will not affect normal communication.

When they first came into contact with this psychologist, both of them communicated in a foreign language, but after getting to know each other better, they realized that they were from the same country.

So all subsequent voice and text communications were switched to Chinese, and Luo lost the Chinese that he hadn't used for five or six years, and picked it up bit by bit.

"OK."

"You really don't understand style at all."

"What have you been up to lately?"

"Mission." Luo said lightly.

"Okay, okay, I know the mission can't tell me."

"Let me take a guess, you're having nightmares again, aren't you?"

"Hmm." Luo raised his eyebrows, "How do you know?"

"It's 02:30 pm on my side, so the time on your side should be around three o'clock in the morning. If I'm not wrong, you should have just woken up from a dream."

"correct."

"Nightmare must be very uncomfortable, hurry up and drink a glass of water." The girl's tone became much gentler.

"I'm fine." Luo didn't go to drink water, he said: "Just now, I had that dream before."

"Before? You mean, you dreamed about the day when you were nine years old..."

"Correct."

"..."

The girl's side was silent for a while, Luo didn't know what she was thinking, so he could only silently wait for her response.

"Ro."

Finally, the girl asked a question in a very serious tone.

"Are you still Luo?"

"..."

Luo frowned, and then figured out what the girl meant.

She was suspecting that it was Luo's other personality who was talking to her now.

"Hmm..." Luo thought for a while, then said calmly, "You had an affair with one of your female students..."

"Alright, alright! Stop, stop, stop, I know you're crazy! Why are you so annoying!?" The girl quickly interrupted him.

"You told me yourself..."

"Stop! This topic ends here!"

"it is good."

"Humph!"

"..."

The atmosphere was a bit weird, one end of the communication was so angry that his face was probably flushed, while the other end was sitting calmly on the bed.

"I really convinced you. I'm in a coffee shop now. Did you know that I just knocked over my cup!"

"Oh."

The sound of a girl taking a deep breath came from the computer.

"Let's talk about your dream."

The girl finally managed to calm herself down.

"Is the thing you dreamed about from the perspective of yourself experiencing it, or from the perspective of a bystander?"

"Bystander." Luo thought for a while and said.

"you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, yourself, how do you feel after waking up? Oh no, it should be said, what was your mood in the dream?"

"Same as before." Luo replied calmly.

"Pain, fear?" the girl asked.

"Yes."

Luo reached out and touched the corners of his eyes, and found that there were indeed traces of tears.

"Did you encounter anything recently that caused a big mood swing? It doesn't matter whether you are happy or sad."

"It's nothing." Luo thought for a while and said, "I have encountered some troubles at work, and besides..."

"What else?"

"I might go back to China soon."

"Huh?" The girl seemed a little surprised.

"how?"

"No, nothing..."

"I'm not looking for you." Luo very straightforwardly broke the psychiatrist's illusion.

"Can't you have some fun?"

"What do you mean by fun?"

"Forget it." The girl had no choice but to know that her patient's Chinese vocabulary level was no higher than that of a junior high school student.

"I think the sudden appearance of your dream is related to your next trip back to China, but don't worry about it, it just suddenly aroused your subconscious resistance. You don't want to come back, right?"

"Correct."

"So it's because of work, do I have to come back?"

"Yes."

"Ro."

"what?"

"I hope you can adjust your mentality. Since you are returning to China for work, you should concentrate on your work. Remember what I asked you to do? Take that sketchbook with you and draw some things you encountered on the road. Something, please send it back to me, please?" the girl said slowly.

Luo looked at the sketchbook on the table. The girl suggested him to buy it a long time ago, so that he could draw something in his spare time and send the pictures to her.Because Luo refused to have a holographic video chat with her, but she didn't want to judge Luo's situation only by words, so there was such an agreement.

Although the girl's tone was soothing, Luo could still feel some worry.

He knew what she was worried about.

Because Luo once told the girl that he killed someone when another personality was dominant last time.

But the girl never asked Luo why he could still live freely after killing someone. On the contrary, she cared and cared more about him as a patient. Perhaps in her eyes, Luo was just a 16-year-old suffering from double pain. A troubled teenager.

It's a pity that the girl doesn't know that no matter which personality of Luo is dominant, he will kill people.

"Ok."

Luo responded flatly.

……

This conversation didn't last long, because she asked Luo to get a good night's sleep.

Luo didn't refuse either. In fact, he originally planned to go outside to get some air, but after turning off the computer and lying down again, he fell into a deep sleep peacefully. This time he didn't dream.

I slept till dawn.

(End of this chapter)