The strongest brain in entertainment

Chapter 254 Don't fight with women!
The news that Li Fan and Gu Yating confirmed their relationship was exposed on the entire Internet that night.

4G.com, Soyu.com, Fenghuang, etc. have published articles and reports immediately, and the majority of netizens have been devastated for a while, their weak hearts cannot bear the blow, and all kinds of ridicules are spread all over the Internet.

"Ah, my Tingting will be hated forever if she stumbles!"

"If she misses a man like me, she will regret it for the rest of her life!"

"No matter how beautiful she is, what can I do, brother will always be the man she can't get!"

……

And Jisen Satellite TV's "Entertainment Frontline" column even made a live report for the first time.

Host: "The recording of our channel's flagship variety show "Let's Fall in Love" is in full swing. Today, the recording of the new episode has come to an end. The couple that has attracted national attention officially joined hands. Please see what our channel will send back as soon as possible. reports."

At this time, the Li family were all sitting in front of the TV.

Dad Li's little eyes are gone, Mom Li can't close her mouth anymore, and Little Jelly is waving her little hands and circling in front of the TV. I don't know which teacher taught her the magical dance.

The phone at home has been ringing, not to mention the immediate family members, some remote relatives that Li's father and mother don't know also hung up one after another. Li's father and Li mother thanked everyone for their kindness with a smile.

No one asks the poor in the downtown area, and the rich has distant relatives in the mountains.

After their son became famous two years ago, Li's father and Li's mother finally understood this truth. They finally discovered that their family is such a big family!
Father Li said happily: "Wrap a red envelope for the child!"

"How much is appropriate? The Gu family is not short of money. If you want to receive a gift of several thousand yuan like other families, it will obviously not be enough. But if you want to take more, no matter how much you take, it will be small money in the eyes of the Gu family! "

The couple is worried, but what should they do?

Marriage and falling in love among Chinese people is often not a matter between two people, but a matter between two families.It's okay to say that I haven't seen a parent's love. It's okay for the parents to turn a blind eye and close their eyes and just ask, but the parents of the children have already known each other, so it's a bit complicated.

In Huaguo's social form, it makes sense for the two families to be well-matched. At least the two sides should not be too unbalanced, so that there will be no obstacles for the two families to communicate.

This reality is different from European and American countries, because the social structure and customs are different, and the cultural background is even more different, so there is no need to compare native mother-in-law and foreign mother-in-law.

It wasn't even the National Day yet, and Li's father and Li's mother started scratching their heads. They even hung up the phone that night and asked their son if he had any ideas.

Li Fan wailed after putting down the phone: "Love ruined my freedom!!!"

Li Fan started his journey to dominate the charts. Just a few hours after the love news came out, he successfully topped Baidu headlines, Weibo hot search list, 361 search engine topic No. 1 and many other topics.

There is no doubt that this is a young love affair that the whole network pays attention to!

……

The next morning, as soon as Li Fan booked the flight, Gu Yating knocked on the door and came in. Then she turned and lay on the sofa, playing with her mobile phone while humming: "I'm so exhausted. I climbed so high yesterday. I’m still aching all over, but you’re the only one who’s trying to be brave, and it’s made me climb so high, and I’m exhausted.”

Li Fan put down his phone, glanced at Gu Yating who was lying on the sofa, and felt happy: The love has been announced, and the hand is also held, so the next step, should it be... Hehehe!

And this is obviously implying us, my girlfriend said that we are tired and we can't serve?
Li Fan asked, "How about I give you a massage?"

Gu Yating moved her fingers quickly on the phone screen and said "hmm" casually.

Li Fan flexed his ten fingers and walked to the sofa excitedly. He took one look at this slim figure, where should he start?
"Let me rub your shoulders first." Li Fan pressed his fingers on her shoulders, and pressed them indiscriminately, "How about it, is it alright?"

"just OK."

"I'm helping you squeeze your waist."

Li Fan slid his hands down to her waist, and just pressed down a few times happily, but before he could taste the taste, Gu Yating suddenly turned over and stared at him with a frown.

Li Fan asked suspiciously, "What's wrong?"

"Look at the feet!"

Duang!

"Ah!" Li Fan said, clutching his chest, "I haven't done anything yet, why did you kick me?"

"Hmph, did you slip up? What do you want to do?" Gu Yating said with her hands on her hips.

"I..." Li Fan looked down at his paws, then grinned, "I want to have fun."

Seeing this, Gu Yating said, "Don't play tricks on me, you pig dragon!"

If an ordinary person is called a "pig dragon" by others, he will be completely confused and have no idea what to say, let alone how to fight back.

However, Li Fan is different, can he not understand what this word refers to?
"Pig Dragon" refers to the famous Anlu Mountain. Who is Anlu Mountain? Those who dare to green Tang Xuanzong, who dare to call Yang Guifei, who is 16 years younger than himself, a godmother, are the initiators of the Anshi Rebellion one.

As for why it is called a pig dragon, there is an allusion: It is said that one night, Tang Xuanzong drank with An Lushan, and An Lushan was so drunk that he turned into a monster with a pig's body and a dragon's head. All the officials said: "Your Majesty, this guy It's a monster!" "Your Majesty, kill it to avoid future troubles!"

Tang Xuanzong said that although he had the head of a dragon, his body was that of a pig. He had nothing to fear and nothing to accomplish.

Therefore, Anlu Mountain has the nickname of "pig dragon".

This is from the legendary novel "Yang Taizhen's Biography" in the Song Dynasty. It is estimated that few people in modern times have read such a biased novel. Li Fan has to admire Gu Yating's extensive reading, but he has to fight back if he should fight back.

Li Fan pulled himself up and said: "You said that I am An Lushan. This is a big mistake. First of all, An Lushan is a big fat man weighing 350 catties, while I only weigh 120 catties! Secondly, An Lushan is bigger than the godmother Yang Guifei." You are 16 years old, and you are the same age as me. Besides, if I call you a godmother, do you dare to agree?"

Gu Yating raised her eyebrows and said, "Then why don't you try?"

"Uh... Get out! The most important point is that I just pressed your shoulders and rubbed your waist, but An Lushan's claws stretched out to—" Li Fan stopped immediately when he said this , fixedly squinting his eyes and paying attention to the girl's body.

Whoosh!
A pillow was thrown over.

"A satyr! No, a satyr, a satyr!"

Li Fan grabbed the pillow and said: "And, most importantly, I can't compare with An Lushan. An Lushan scratched his paw on the chest of godmother Yang Guifei, and directly scratched out the allusion "Lushan's Claws' and 'salty pig's hand', while Concubine Yang Guifei had to find a way to hide her scars, so she invented the earliest strapless underwear in my country - Myrobalan! It is the common 'tube top' in TV dramas in the Tang Dynasty, and then Popular throughout the Tang Dynasty.

And what's the use for me, I got a pillow reward when I pressed my shoulder. "

"Let's get down to business, why are salty pig's knuckles 'salty'?" Gu Yating asked doubtfully.

"You don't understand," Li Fan sat next to her, and continued: "'Xian' comes from the Cantonese word 'xianshi', which means 'indecent, lustful'. By the way, do you know what Yang Guifei is?" allusion?"

Gu Yating curled her lips, "It's too easy, test me? Close the moon and shame, a concubine laughing on the red dust, a drunken concubine, Li Fan's claws!"

"Go, go! Then let me ask you, what kind of flower is it?"

"I don't know, it seems that there is no record."

"Mimosa! It was said that Concubine Yang Guifei was not favored by the emperor, and she went to the palace to enjoy the flowers in a bored way. She accidentally touched the mimosa, so the ladies in the palace flattered her, saying that you are as beautiful as a fairy, and the flowers are ashamed of you." , that is hype, and then was targeted by Xuanzong. Let me ask you one more question, what was Concubine Yang's original name?"

"Yang Yuhuan! What's the matter?"

Li Fan shook his head: "Wrong! I deduce that Yang Guifei's original name should be Yang Yu!"

"Why, did you eat 'Huan'?"

"Listen to me and tell you, Yang Yuhuan's name is not mentioned in the "Old Book of Tang" and "New Book of Tang", and there is no clear record in "Zi Zhi Tong Jian". "The Story of Everlasting Regret" only says that she is 'Yang Xuanyan's daughter' , It was not until a hundred years after the death of the imperial concubine that "Minghuang Miscellaneous Records" mentioned "Yang Guifei's small character Yuhuan" for the first time, and later generations still use it to this day.

Concubine Yang has three real titles "Yu Nu", "Yu Niang" and "Yuhuan".

Yu Nu is her childhood pet name; Yu Niang is her honorary title before canonization; Yuhuan is what people call her after she was canonized as a noble concubine and became blessed.Concubine Yang's real name should be 'Yang Yu'. "

Gu Yating was highly suspicious, squinting her eyes and said, "Is it true? Are you talking nonsense again?"

Li Fan smiled and said, "Then I'll talk nonsense again. Concubine Yang Gui has a problem, what is it?"

"She is so fat, should she have high blood fat and high blood pressure?"

"wrong!"

"Cardiovascular diseases?"

"wrong!"

"Snoring, fat people tend to snore."

"No, it's body odor! That's why she took a crazy bath and added all kinds of flower petals."

Gu Yating was stunned for a moment, and said: "Nonsense! If this is the case, Tang Xuanzong can still spoil her?"

"Otherwise, I love you even if you have big feet!"

Duang!
Fly to the capital at noon tomorrow, and today, the two of them went to the mountains to play together.

Spring City is located in a plain area, there are no lofty mountains, let alone big rivers. After the two of them climbed Mount Hui, they were delighted to see the lush greenery.

However, Gu Yating soon discovered that Li Fan had changed his mind.

"Li Fan, I'm thirsty!"

"I told you to buy two more bottles of water, but you didn't listen. You must be thirsty now, and you deserve it!"

"Hey, why don't you find a way to buy two bottles of water, it's right in front, I'll sit here and wait for you."

"Go by yourself, don't you see that I'm busy?" Li Fan held the camera and pressed the shutter on a little squirrel.

Gu Yating pouted and said, "Li Fan, you've changed! You weren't like this yesterday either!"

"Nonsense, wasn't yesterday the Chinese Valentine's Day? If I were so kind to you every day, wouldn't I be exhausted? This is called relaxation and relaxation!"

"Huh? You've always been 'Zhang' for a day as the co-author?"

Li Fan thought for a while, then nodded again and again: "Yes!"

Gu Yating sat on a big rock, stared at him with a sullen face, stared at him who was holding a camera to take pictures of the scenery, and said in her heart:

This guy agreed to buy a camera to take pictures for himself, to be his own exclusive photographer, and bought so many photo albums for himself, but it turned out that the lens never fell on him from the beginning to the end!
Shoot the blue sky, the woods, the squirrels, the flowers and plants, but not yourself. Sure enough, men rely on their mouths, and women prefer to do it!
At this time, Li Fan suddenly turned around and teased her: "Come on, the battery is running low. Let me take a picture for you to prove that we have been here."

"If you don't take pictures, I'm tired and not in a beautiful mood!"

"Smile!"

Seeing Li Fan picking up the camera, Gu Yating subconsciously smiled and made an "eggplant" comparison.

Click, freeze frame.

Gu Yating became bored again, thinking: Well, I finally have a photo of myself in that album, and the photo is surrounded by squirrels, woods, flowers and plants.

Li Fan suddenly raised his camera and said, "Smile again!"

Gu Yating immediately put on a beautiful pose!
"Okay, perfect!"

"Hey, Li Fan, how do you plan to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival for me?"

Li Fan asked suspiciously: "What does the Mid-Autumn Festival have to do with us? The main meaning of the Mid-Autumn Festival is lovesickness and homesickness!"

"Why doesn't it matter? There is a lyric that is well sung, 'Just spend the full moon night here, and the two hearts will love each other; spend the full moon night here, and the lovers will be in pairs.' How is it okay?"

"Okay, let's barely count!"

Gu Yating rolled her eyes again and said, "What about the National Day?"

Li Fan turned pale with shock, "What?"

"National Day!"

"National Day? Sister, National Day? You... What did you celebrate National Day? That's your birthday, my 'motherland'?"

Gu Yating said solemnly: "It's not my birthday, but, without the XX Party, there would be no Xinhua Country, and without Xinhua Country, how could we have you and me? How can we fall in love without you and me?"

Li Fan was stunned, "Sister, can you connect this together?"

"Yeah!" Gu Yating carefully counted the days with her fingers, "After that, there will be Double Ninth Festival and Halloween..."

Li Fan said desperately, "Then why don't you add 24 solar terms?"

Gu Yating's eyes sparkled with excitement, "I didn't expect it, it's done! Lichun, rain, Jingzhe, vernal equinox, Qingming, Grain Rain—"

"Stop, stop, stop!" Li Fan held Gu Yating's wagging fingers, "What's going on during Qingming Festival? Huh?"

Gu Yating looked at him affectionately, and said: "I am your man in life, and I am your ghost in death! I will be with you in life and death."

"Don't, don't, don't say it, bad luck! Do you want to go through all the festivals at home and abroad?"

Gu Yating looked aggrieved, "I can't help it, you want to be 'relaxed', you look good when you 'open', but you are too jerk when you 'relax', I have to let you 'open' for a few more days! "

Li Fan gave up, "Come on, what kind of water do you drink? Orange juice or mineral water? I'll go buy it now."

"Mineral water! Let's see if there are any snacks, such as gluten, beef jerky, and a piece of bread!"

Li Fan put down his camera and backpack, and hurriedly went to the small vendor in front to buy.

"Li Fan, hurry up, I'm dying of thirst!"

Seeing that Li Fan really quickened his pace, Gu Yating chuckled and said in a low voice, "Let's show off, fight with my old lady! Humph!"

……

Before, in the daily "war" between Li Fan and Gu Yating, Li Fan had always been a victorious general with almost no defeats. However, since the two joined hands and became lovers, the two have become evenly matched, and Li Fan has gradually become a little bit uneasy. The meaning of the enemy is helpless, who made this girl wear the golden armor of "girlfriend".

Facing such "thugs", Li Fan is determined to practice secretly so as not to be at a disadvantage!

The next morning, the plane landed and arrived in the capital.

The two walked into Beijing University hand in hand, and wherever they went, they were greeted with envious and jealous eyes.

Li Fan looked at the interlocking fingers of the two, and asked, "Aren't we a little too ostentatious?"

Gu Yating nodded, "It seems to be!"

"Uh, why don't you leave a way for the dogs to survive?"

"who cares!"

Li Fan chuckled, "I just realized that you are so thick-skinned!"

"You have a thick skin!"

……

"Cough, cough, cough!"

After hearing a clear cough, Li Fan and Gu Yating turned around one after another, only to see Lu Yaya in a suit looking at them with a smile.

"Hello, senior!"

"Hi sister Yaya!"

……

"Okay! Li Fan, come with me, there's something big going on!"

Li Fan asked suspiciously, "What's the matter?"

"Just go."

"Wait a minute, I'll send the backpack upstairs first, it's too heavy."

When Li Fan went downstairs again, he had already changed into a military training uniform, tied a belt and put on a hat, and returned to his identity as a freshman.

Lu Yaya walked and said, "How good are your couplets? Can you still reach the level of the 18 couplets in the video?"

"It should be possible!"

Lu Yaya nodded in satisfaction, "That's good."

"what?"

Lu Yaya stopped, patted his shoulder and said:
"Kill Chenhua University!"

(End of this chapter)