The strongest brain in entertainment

Chapter 210 True and False Ji Xiaolan

Li Fan was actually quite surprised that so many students were squeezed into this small classroom today.

Except for some English underachievers in the third grade group, half of the students came here after hearing the news in the first and second grades. We don't know how many of them are chasing stars under the guise of studying.

On the podium, Li Fan waved chalk and wrote a line of large characters: Analysis of five basic sentence structures.He then proceeds to draw a tree diagram.

In the audience, some students were writing furiously and taking notes quickly, while others were holding their mobile phones and secretly taking pictures of Li Fan's tall and upright figure.It can be seen that there are still a large number of fans here to "make up the numbers".

On the stage, Li Fan said: "As for the division of sentence components, I have a jingle here. If you memorize it, you will get twice the result with half the effort. Please remember it."

After Li Fan finished speaking, he wrote down this jingle on the blackboard:
The subject is in the front, the predicate is in the middle, and the object and adverbial are behind.

After the attributive subject of the phrase, the form and the attributive subject come before the subject.

Between the guest and the direct guest are closely dependent on each other, and between the straight and the to and the for.

The object supplement is located after the object, and the terrain is often before the tense.

After Li Fan finished writing, he started pacing with his hands behind his back, but suddenly, he suddenly raised his head: "No taking pictures with your mobile phone!"

Teacher Zhong outside the window shivered in shock, and quickly put away the mobile phone that was held in mid-air.

indoor.

"How many times have I said that the reason why your English scores are not good is largely due to laziness. If you don't copy it yourself, I won't go on."

Teacher Zhong suddenly realized, oh, I didn’t talk about myself.

Teacher Zhong returned to the office and saw Teacher Cheng in the room. He said excitedly: "I found that Li Fan is not only good at Chinese studies, but also very unique in English. He will be on the third floor every night during self-study. There is a classroom for make-up lessons for underachievers, the lectures are very good, lively and interesting, why don't we go and listen together tomorrow?"

"No matter how unique he is and how well he speaks, can he still be as good as our English teacher? After all, we rely on this for our food. I also heard today that Li Fan opened an English interest class. Hey, a child is teaching, and our old Why is the teacher going to join in the fun?"

Teacher Zhong asked: "You really don't want to go?"

"Brother, don't drop the price. Although he is the cultural idol of the school, we still have to look like a teacher."

Teacher Zhong sighed, and then had to show him the loot in his mobile phone.

So, the next night, two English teachers appeared outside the classroom window, and both of them were stealing "important secrets" with their mobile phones.

On the indoor podium, Li Fan swiped his pen and wrote: Qiaoji-plural nouns ending in f(e).

Here is the catchphrase:
Half of the leaves are yellow by themselves,
The wife took a knife to cut the grain,
A wolf sprang out from behind the frame,

Like a robber fleeing for his life.

Li Fandao: "How to explain this, listen to me, leaf (leaf), half (half), self (self), wife (wife), knife (knife), shelf (shelf), wolf (wolf), thief When the nine nouns (thief, robber) and life become plural, they must change -f(e) to v and add -es. Other nouns ending in -f(e) can directly add -s plural."

All the students in the room quickly started to take notes, and outside, the two mobile phone camera buttons quickly recorded it.

After erasing the contents of the blackboard, Li Fan continued to write down a line of words: "Cleverly remember that nouns ending in -f can be pluralized by directly adding -s!"
The jingle is:
By the bay, on the rooftops,

Leaders and slaves look at each other;
Who says they have no faith,
The evidence was written on a handkerchief.

After Li Fan wrote the jingle, he quickly walked out of the classroom, but saw two English teachers talking to each other and leaving in a panic.

"Teacher Zhong, how did your class take the in-class test this time?"

"Not ideal, Mr. Cheng, where is your class?"

……

Li Fan waved his hand when he saw this and said, "Teachers, you two?"

"Ah, we were passing by!"

"You are busy!"

……

A week passed quickly, and there were fewer and fewer students in the room, because Niu Benben cleared out all the fans and non-high school students, otherwise it would be a waste of time, and no teacher appeared outside the classroom anymore.

Because the corridor outside the classroom was packed with people.

Even in the third year of high school, Huaguo will give a day off every Sunday, mainly to give students time to wash clothes and buy some school and daily necessities, so that everyone can relax their brains.

On Sunday, Li Fan made an appointment with Niu Benben in the morning and wanted to give him a tutoring lesson at Xiaozao. In the afternoon, he made an appointment with Gu Yating and he had to take tutoring lessons from her.

When talking about the problem of poor mathematics before, Gu Yating took the initiative to offer extra lessons to Li Fan. Although Li Fan's special recruitment was basically decided, Li Fan had no intention of giving up on the college entrance examination. He also wanted to challenge himself when the time comes and see what he had never been able to do in the college entrance examination in his previous life. The number one scholar, can I "mix" one in this life?

Li Fan was a graduate student at Peking University, and he didn't have any troubles in mathematics. The reason why he only scored more than 120 in mathematics in the last exam, isn't it because he was hiding too low-key?
But Li Fan didn't object at all, it was just to tease the little girl.

Niu Benben's English is indeed poor, and he has no language talent at all. After Li Fan taught alone for three hours, he completely collapsed the plan to train a simultaneous interpreter, and instead strived to bring the underachievers above the passing line new plan.

Li Fan put down the pen and said: "That's it, you first consolidate what I taught you, and we will proceed to the next link next week."

Niu Benben felt relieved, although he could feel that Li Fanbi's teacher's words were vivid and easy to understand, but he just looked at the flowers and the moon in the fog, his eyes were always hazy, and he still couldn't find the core truth.

Niu Benben stretched with 12 minutes of strength, and then turned on the TV. At this moment, Li Fan's tutor came to the door.

"Hello, Teacher Gu!"

"Okay! I brought some test papers today, let's touch your bottom first!" Gu Yating glanced into the room while changing her slippers, only to find that Niu Benben was there, and she said, "Brother Niu is here too?"

"Yating, what are you guys doing? Teacher Gu?"

Gu Yating sighed and said, "Isn't it that Li Fan is too bad at math? If you ask me to help with tutoring, it annoys me!"

Li Fan chuckled, and didn't know who was pestering him to make up lessons.

Niu Benben rolled his eyes: "Do all of you high school masters chat like this? A score of 120 is too bad?"

Gu Yating took out the test paper from her backpack and placed it on the table. Then she started looking around for Jelly with snacks in her hand, "Where's my sister?"

"Go to kindergarten!" Li Fan put the fruit plate on the table, and then watched TV.

Jelly still can't escape this disaster.

On the TV, "The Legend of Ji Xiaolan" is playing at this time, which is basically the same as the previous life "Iron Teeth Bronze Teeth Ji Xiaolan".

Several people watch TV while chopping oranges and laughing from time to time.

Niu Benben said: "This TV series is really a classic. It has been replayed many times. I just can't get tired of watching it, and it also improves my knowledge!"

"What kind of knowledge do you want?" Li Fan started peeling apples casually, "This kind of TV series are all made in vain, they are just nonsense, and seriously distort history!"

"Huh? What's the matter?" Niu Benben was puzzled.

Li Fan said: "First of all, the characters are wrong. In the TV series, Ji Xiaolan is a gentleman, while He Shen is fat and rubbish. But the actual situation in history is that Ji Xiaolan is a big fat man, and He Shen is a famous handsome man during the Qianlong period. Proficient in Manchu, Chinese, Tibetan and other languages, especially good at poetry.

What's more, just talking about Ji Xiaolan is not what the TV series said at all. Apart from his extraordinary talent, this person has nothing to praise him in other aspects. "

A big question mark popped up on Niu Benben's head, "No way, that's my idol!"

"Then let's talk about your idol first! First of all, Ji Xiaolan is a severe sex addict.

"Qixia Pavilion Wilderness" said that Ji Xiaolan was gifted beyond ordinary people since she was a child. She could see things at night.

It is also said in "Congming Manlu" that Ji Xiaolan claims to be a wild monster who turns around, does not eat rice, and only eats meat. It is necessary to lie down once, and it is not uncommon to take advantage of the occasion.

It is said that once, Ji Xiaolan was ordered to compile the "Siku Quanshu" in the Hanlin Academy. Because of the huge project, Ji Xiaolan and her colleagues rushed to work day and night, and basically hadn't touched a woman for several days. Ah, I can't stand it at all!

One day Qianlong came to inspect the work and saw Ji Xiaolan's red eyes protruding red. Qianlong was shocked and asked, "What's wrong with Aiqing?" Ji Xiaolan told the truth: "Your Majesty, I miss a woman."

Qianlong laughed and said, "It's easy to handle. The two companions of the appreciating palace maid are around and serve you wholeheartedly!" '

After getting the two maids, Ji Xiaolan was free from illness immediately, and the work progressed very smoothly. Finally, after the work was completed, Qianlong directly awarded the two women to him as concubines. "

This was a bit beyond Niu Benben's perception, and he asked doubtfully, "Is it true?"

Li Fan smiled and said: "What do you guess? Besides, Ji Xiaolan still has a lustful heart until she is in her 80s, so I won't give you an example. There are too many. Anyway, Ji Xiaolan loves meat. I guess this kind of big boss Level abilities all come from the flesh.

It is recognized that Ji Xiaolan is lustful, and secondly, she not only stutters but also has a poisonous tongue!It is far from the articulate image in the TV series.

What kind of vicious tongue does this guy have? Let me give you two examples!

Every time Ji Xiaolan was on duty in the palace, the eunuchs liked to pester him to tell him stories.Once, Ji Xiaolan was pestered by a certain eunuch again and asked him to tell a story. Ji Xiaolan said that there was no story recently, and the certain eunuch insisted on asking him to tell one, and he could make it up now.

Ji Xiaolan pretended to be thinking and said, "Yes, there is a person." ’ After saying that, he shut up and stared at the eunuch.

When the eunuch saw that he had stopped talking, he urged, "What's next?" '

What did you say Ji Xiaolan said? "

Niu Benben: "What did you say?"

Gu Yating also turned sideways and cast a curious look.

Li Fan said with a smile: "Ji Xiaolan said: 'There is nothing below.'"

Laughter broke out in the room, and someone was holding his belly and his delicate body was trembling non-stop.

Li Fan said again: "Tell me one more thing.

It is said that there was an old eunuch with a youthful dream of literature and art, and finally mustered up the courage to ask the great talent Ji Xiaolan for advice on writing couplets, but unexpectedly, Ji Xiaolan took advantage of him again.
One day, the old eunuch found Ji Xiaolan and wrote an upper couplet: "Xiao Hanlin wears winter clothes and holds a summer fan. Have you ever read a piece of "Spring and Autumn"?" '

Everyone pay attention to this Shanghai couplet, spring, summer, autumn and winter are all here.Guess what Ji Xiaolan is right about?He even made fun of other people's physical defects, and gave the second line, "The old eunuch was born in the south and came to the north, is that thing still there?" '

Well, the "east, west, north, south" of the second line is all together, but you, Ji Xiaolan, are not things.

Who the hell has it easy? Why do you think you are hurting other people’s eunuchs like this?Do you know that you get beaten easily?
Do you want to lose your life?Many eunuchs were killed when they were young, and they are basically children from poor families. It would be better for you to come to your place and make fun of them. Just like now, why don't you try to make fun of a disabled person? "

Niu Benben asked curiously: "Hey, Li Fan, tell me, why do eunuchs love to exercise power?"

"This sentence is completely wrong. Most people love to exercise power. It has been like this throughout the ages. How many of the celebrities around the leaders are not arrogant? Are they also very 'eunuchs'?
And eunuchs are more likely to be favored by the emperor, queen and concubine, much like the current secretary.

If you treat eunuchs as human beings, you won't have innate discrimination. The key is that you don't treat eunuchs as human beings at all.In fact, they are a very normal group, good and evil, loyal and treacherous. If you think about women, maybe they also think about them. They are the same as us with complete bodies, but they are also different.

Assuming that you, Niu Benben, were brought to the emperor's side as a eunuch, I don't think you will be too bad. "

Niu Benben thought about it seriously and said, "Can you get me to be with the concubine?"

Gu Yating asked curiously: "Why not the queen?"

Niu Benben shook his head quickly: "No, the queen is old!"

Next, Li Fan told Ji Xiaolan again, what he said about favoritism, cheating, etc. This was very different from the public perception of Ji Xiaolan.

Niu Benben, a fan, had to wake up. It turns out that TV series are all lies.

After "Legend of Ji Xiaolan" is over, the broadcast continues, and the next channel is playing the theme song of the TV series "Red Sun".

Li Fan suddenly felt dizzy when he saw this, and complained: "Look at it, a typical 40-minute TV series, the opening song and the ending song each take about 3 minutes, the review of the previous story takes about 5 minutes, and the main text of the TV series doesn't even last 30 minutes. , Maybe I’ll insert another advertisement for you, Grandma’s, where’s Waner Dad?”

As expected, this is really the case. As soon as the opening song ends, there will be an endless review of the past.

Niu Benben asked, "Do you still want to watch it?"

Li Fan said indifferently: "Follow you!"

Gu Yating took the remote control and started flipping through the channels. She found her favorite Korean drama "That Boy Is Kind of Handsome" and started watching it happily.

"This TV series is so boring, it's a bloody routine, hey, you girls, why do you like to watch this kind of TV series?" Li Fan pulled Niu Benben, and said, "Look, this girl's eyes are red, and the sensational scene , was moved by this handsome boy?"

Gu Yating sternly corrected him: "That's a handsome guy, at least he's more handsome than you!"

Niu Benben immediately retorted: "Impossible, even 10 of them can't compare to Li Fan!"

Li Fan nodded: "I'm inconvenient to comment, but I think 10 is a bit too much, let's say 5! This kind of Korean dramas are meant to trick little girls or young women and aunts, and women who have content will watch this ? Let you hear what I like to watch, Lao Qi, tell me what I usually like to watch!"

Niu Benben said: "Xijing fever, Erbendao, Caribbean..."

Li Fan kicked him immediately, "Get lost!"

Niu Benben smiled and said: "Actually, I think I should have left long ago, you are 'busy'."

After Niu Ben ran away, Gu Yating was teased by Li Fan, and stopped watching Korean dramas, and continued to broadcast the station. This station was broadcasting the anti-Japanese drama "Sisters of the Anti-Japanese War". Obviously, this is another TV series that suits her taste .

"This kind of TV completely challenges the acceptance of the Chinese people. It shows the enemy in such a vulnerable state. I wonder, the enemy is so weak. How did we fight the eight-year war of resistance? Who is this insulting? A certain unit There are time limits for this and that, this cannot be broadcast, that must be stopped, etc. Why don’t you have time to manage these anti-Japanese dramas?”

Gu Yating frowned, patted the remote control on the coffee table, and said angrily: "Li Fan, you are so annoying, this is not good and that is not good, if you have a good shot, you will know it. , are you annoying? I'll give you the remote control, let's find your conscience drama."

The girl leaned on the sofa and pouted angrily, while Li Fan picked up the remote control and broadcasted the station casually. Soon, the scene of "That Boy Is A Little Handsome" appeared on the TV again.

Gu Yating glanced at it and said coldly: "You don't watch Korean dramas, don't you?"

Li Fan said seriously: "Actually, this one is better than domestic dramas."

"Oh? Where is it strong?"

"Each episode is long, and I always feel like I'm making a lot of money. It also allows me to distinguish between the heroine and the supporting actress, and I always remember to mix it up. After watching Korean dramas, I discovered that I have Korean female face blindness."

(End of this chapter)