I'm waiting for you in the wind and snow

Chapter 463 Love
I walked towards Ye Zhi, and then sat down opposite her. I didn't look at her and smile, nor did I show her face. I just looked at her in a daze, and this is the true portrayal of my heart. I don't know what she's going to say to me, and I don't want to guess.

She looked at me with complicated expressions, and finally, she said to me with guilt: "I'm sorry, I didn't know that you went to the stadium for drunk driving that day... I'm really guilty!"

"No one pointed a gun at my neck and forced me to do it... so you don't have to feel guilty, it's me who should reflect."

Ye Zhi looked at me, hesitated to speak, and finally averted her gaze.This is the first time I can see into her heart, I know she is very sad, and can't express it... She shouldn't come, because it doesn't help, and it will put myself in a very embarrassing situation.

I am also very conflicted. On the one hand, I don’t want to see her who is ruthless and ignorant, but when she really comes, I don’t know what to say.

Letting out a breath, I smiled again and said to her: "You know, smoking a cigarette here is a very luxurious thing... If you really feel sorry, please ask the supervisor to let me smoke a cigarette, We're evenly matched."

"Let's smoke less."

"This is my 11th day in the detention center. I have only smoked half a pack of cigarettes, an average of less than one a day...How can I do less if I haven't quit smoking?"

Ye Zhi finally nodded, and then went to ask the guard for a cigarette; I know, she came with her identity.I don't know how other detention centers have regulations, but the detention center I am in absolutely does not allow detainees to smoke during the time of being visited, but she can help me get cigarettes; moreover, the number of times I have been visited this week has already been used up. Theoretically, she cannot be visited again, but she came... This obviously used some connections.

……

I stared at the cigarette for a long time before I was willing to light it, then took a light puff, and said to Ye Zhi with a smile: "The taste of this cigarette is much better than the one my friend gave you just now! This is the first time in my life that I have the opportunity to enjoy the convenience brought by privileges...Thank you...Sometimes, I really don't understand the pursuit of you people...Privilege reaches a certain level, even immunity?... ...So, under the premise that money can no longer bring pleasure, you have started to frantically pursue the sense of accomplishment brought by privileges!"

"I feel really sad when you talk like this. Don't be like this, okay?"

"The gap is naked here. Besides these, what else can we talk about?"

Ye Zhi finally shifted her gaze to me again, and at the same time changed the subject, she said, "I will explain the situation to the relevant departments... Let them take back your five-year driving ban..."

"I have already talked to them, and they also investigated and collected evidence, which confirmed that I was really in a hurry to save someone, so I was in a hurry to drink and drive, so I was exempted from prosecution... But the penalty of driving ban and detention is absolute. It is unavoidable, their attitude is very tough, and they have already warned me that it is useless to seek anyone!"

"Don't worry, I will definitely find a way to solve the bad consequences I caused."

"You came here to tell me this?"

"I hope you can accept my apology..."

I took a deep sip of the cigarette, and after a while of silence, I smiled and said: "The person who called me is Nicole, you don't have to apologize to me...you can give me a word to Nicole, and tell her not to Avoid me, the day I go out, the person I want to see the most is her... You ask her to pick me up, and arrange a place where I can take a good bath, if I can't, I will really go with her Angry!"

"Okay, I'll tell her."

"Then it's all right."

Ye Zhi lowered her head and remained silent. After a long time, she whispered to me: "Mi Gao, don't do this for me again...it's not worth it. I can't give you anything except hurt!"

Hearing this sentence, I couldn't express the pain in my heart, but I still smiled and said to her: "I know, I will look away... I will forget about you, as if I never knew you... "

After a short pause, I said again: "You really did a good job at this point, can you tell me how you did it?...Will you suddenly think of a man who is suffering when you are free? I've been waiting for you for a year and a half... Has anyone ever told you how I've lived this year and a half?... If so, will you feel sorry for me?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say... If you must feel that my pain is your compensation, then let me tell you... In the past year and a half, I have lived in more pain than anyone else ...I have no way to change my destiny, nor can I ask others to understand my destiny...The only thing I hope is that you must be happier than me...You should cherish the one who will never leave you when you are in trouble. The woman by your side... I have no chance anymore, and I have no chance to cherish the man who never left and never left to wait for me when I was in trouble!"

It's rare for me to see emotional fluctuations in Ye Zhi. She seemed very unwilling to show this side of herself in front of me, so after saying these words, she picked up her handbag and turned to leave.

I wanted to call her to stop, and then ask her if she really loved me, but when the words came to my lips, I held back...

I have the answer in my heart, but before she tells me personally, I will feel unwilling... But such willingness, even if I want to come, what's the use?
We are all adults who are familiar with each other. It is not that we can be together regardless of our own safety because of the so-called love... There are too many trade-offs and choices in our world. At least, I should not regret it, because in the face of these trade-offs and When choosing, I have tried my best.

I just silently watched her back when she left, and suddenly felt sorry for her, because in her figure with short hair, I could no longer see the high spirits of the past, all I saw was the vicissitudes of life and helplessness, even a little panic.

She is not doing well now, this is what my subconscious mind told me, and I can detect some clues in the conversation just now.

I gradually believed in Dai Qiang's words. What she encountered in Thailand back then was a man-made disaster, not a natural disaster...

If it was really a man-made disaster, I can't imagine how she survived this year and a half!

……

Taking a deep breath, I thought of the scene I saw her on the viewing platform for the first time: a woman who looked very lonely... She was a mystery in her heart, and she would not tell others how much she was. She is in pain, and she will not tell how lonely she is. She will only silently buy a plane ticket and fly to me when she misses me. Shredded plane tickets...

It is precisely because of this that I attacked her unscrupulously, and then went to find a kind of pleasure after victory... But, I was not really happy, because I gradually realized that her silence and not crying or making trouble are actually a kind of caring .

(End of this chapter)