I'm waiting for you in the wind and snow

Chapter 421
In my opinion, she should wear friendly clothing so that she doesn't look like she is a thousand miles away from others, but she is dressed in a glamorous way, just standing by the guardrail two meters away from me.

My heart is beating wildly, and the blood seems to be too late to supply to the brain, so in the blank, I don't know what to say as an opening sentence.

She didn't come over either, and just stood there.

The rain drenched our shoulders, and those people with umbrellas just hid under the umbrellas and watched us...

Gradually, the sense of existence of the whole city is infinitely shrinking, but my personal sense of existence is getting bigger and bigger, bigger than everything in front of me, it seems that all the lights of this city are coming towards me, and countless pairs of eyes are going towards me. There was focus on me, forcing me to say something.

……

I finally took out a cigarette from the cigarette case, put it in my mouth, and then walked towards Ye Zhi...

She turned and looked at me when I was standing straight beside her...

I'm short of breath.

"Is there a fire? Borrow a fire..."

I don't know why I have to ask this question, in fact, the lighter is in my own coat pocket; at this moment, I am a cowardly person, I dare not say if I hate her, and I dare not say if I love her...

She and I looked at each other, and after two seconds, we turned our eyes away, and we were still looking at her out of the corner of our eyes, but we pretended to be watching the boats on the river.

I have forgotten the picture of myself kissing her, besides, we also hugged fiercely; she told me that she loves me, and of course I love her... But at this moment, I just feel that her The body is still the same body, but the inner soul has changed.

I'm not even sure if she remembers me.

In the rain, she finally spoke to me and said, "You have it in your own pocket."

I looked down, because the pocket was shallow, part of the lighter was leaking out, I took it out of the pocket, and then said to her blankly: "It's in my pocket, I thought it was in my pocket." You are there..."

If she still remembers the past, she must understand what this sentence means.

I pressed the lighter hard, and the cigarette was lit, but it was not as smooth as usual; I took it out of my mouth to check, and it turned out that the end that was put in my mouth was not the cigarette butt, and I smoked backwards.

This fucking made a fool of himself again!

Suddenly, an uncontrollable anger rose in my heart, mixed with all kinds of grievances and heartache.

Unable to control myself, I threw the cigarette and the lighter at Ye Zhi's feet... The lighter exploded, breaking the dead silence of the night and causing screams.

I brushed all my wet hair back, and then held on to the guardrail, leaving my back to the group of onlookers.

I clenched my fists, knocked on the guardrail, and then began to tremble and dizzy, like a person with hypoglycemia. The moment I stood up, I couldn't even see what was in front of me...I was so sad, and even more so Much is powerless!
And Ye Zhi, from the beginning to the end, did not speak.

……

I sniffed, and finally said to her: "Do you think I'm ridiculous in your heart?... If you think it's ridiculous, just laugh... Why are you facing me coldly... Do I owe you?" ?...Even if two people who are ordinary friends meet...if they are polite, they still have to say a few fucking words, right?!"

"Migao..."

"So you know my name is Mi Gao... I won't say much else, I just want to ask, did you find me here on purpose, or did you just meet me again by fucking chance?"

"Shanghai is so big, there are not so many chance encounters."

"Okay... Since you came here on purpose, then you have to say something to me... Don't keep me talking, every word I say now is making a fool of myself... I knew you would come here, I should have come out wearing a mask."

"I also came here by chance...I know you've come to Shanghai...but I'm not sure if you'll come to the Bund."

I turned around and looked at Ye Zhi, and thought of how she used to be by my side, making me feel so at ease and so excited, I would feel that I am the luckiest man in the world, what kind of virtue and ability do I need to have such woman.

When I thought this way, in fact, we were already unequal; and it was not until I actually faced her that I realized how unwilling I was. Once, I gave all the best fantasies about life to her. She's gone, but the one standing in front of me is also the strangest one.

The corners of my eyes were hot, and there seemed to be tears in my eye sockets.

I took a deep breath, and then I said to her: "Stop talking, don't say so many irrelevant things... I just want you to tell me, what have you experienced in the past year or so?"

"Don't delve into my past...I don't want to talk about it."

I laugh……

Ye Zhi asked again: "How are you doing?"

"I don't want to say... If you want to know, you can ask."

In her silence, I said again: "After you came back, Jian Zihan once called me, and I firmly believe that there is no need for us to meet again... Now it seems that it is still necessary, because we have not seen each other. Before you, I always had a little fantasy in my heart... After meeting you, all I saw was indifference and calmness... I don't have anything to worry about anymore, I will live the life I should live... In this world, thousands of roads are intertwined. If I can choose, I will definitely choose the widest one... If I have no choice, I will take whatever road... But I must not Will stop again!"

"That's what we should all do."

I nodded, knowing in my heart that the road between me and her was a dead end. She was different from other women... If it was an ordinary woman, at this time, she would definitely confide in her suffering and mental journey over the past year.

She didn't say, firstly, it was her character; secondly, she didn't regard me as her closest person or soul mate.

She has too many reservations about me.

This is probably not enough love, I can see through it... What Jian Zihan said to me before may not be the truth, I am not that important in her heart, she came to me, probably out of guilt, After all, because of her for the past year and a half, I have made myself look like a human being and a ghost.

But she really doesn't know how to comfort people. After meeting her, my heart became more painful... and I gradually gave up.

I finally spoke to her and said, "I'm leaving... Before I leave, I have one last request..."

Ye Zhi nodded.

"This time, it's you who watches me go... until you can't see me, we will be far apart, and we will never interfere with each other from now on."

"it is good."

In the rain, I glanced at her again, and I wanted to ask her if she ever really loved me.

I didn't speak, and then I turned around and stepped on the stagnant water, walking towards the path without street lights.

I told myself, don't just stare at the things that have been lost. I am not the Mi Gao of three years ago. What I have at this moment will definitely bring me happiness.

As long as I don't look at her, don't think about her, she will eventually be forgotten from my world just like the thousands of dreams I have had.

……

I hate her, but I still want to be a good person. I hope that in the future, a man will not appear to hurt her like she hurt me.

This is my last wish for her.

(End of this chapter)