I'm waiting for you in the wind and snow

Chapter 132 Beloved
After finishing the conversation with Dai Qiang, I took two bottles of "Feng Hua Xue Yue" beer from the wine cabinet, and went back to the previous seat to drink; after a while, Tao Zi brought me a stack of marinated peanuts, and then sat down opposite me.

I brought one of the bottles of beer to her and motioned her to drink with me, but she shook her head and said to me, "I'm here with my aunt, I don't want to drink."

"Then you drink some plain water, anyway, you have to sit with me for a while."

Tao Zi looked at me and asked with a smile, "Are there any problems that cannot be solved?"

"It's not a problem, it's just a little confusing."

Taozi held her chin, waiting for me to continue...

"Although the story between Lu Jia and I has changed, I still haven't been able to figure out whether her character and pursuit can represent most women?"

"She's realistic... most women are realistic these days, so she's representative of most women."

I nodded.

"Is this your confusion?"

"No... My biggest confusion is that I can't figure out who I am at this stage... I seem to be a bit unable to let go of everything."

"Including dealing with feelings, isn't it?"

"You got to the point...Actually, I quite envy you and Tetsuo."

Tao Zi first smiled with a complicated expression, and then asked, "What do you envy us for?"

I thought for a while before replying: "You want me to be more specific, but I really can't tell...Maybe I just envy the feeling of being together...You don't ask him to buy a house, he knows what to use Love you in a different way, so in the eyes of outsiders like us, you truly respect each other."

The smile just froze on Taozi's face, and after a while, she said: "Mi Gao, you are wrong... I also really want Tie Nan to buy a big house in Dali, preferably a villa, with trees planted in the yard , there are fountains and rockeries, and ten cars parked outside the yard don’t feel crowded... But is this realistic?”

"It's definitely unrealistic... This is not something Tetsuo is capable of doing."

"No, it has nothing to do with his ability. The problem is that I... I don't think I have the right to ask him for too many things, because I used to be a nightclub woman. In this regard, I am already very sorry for him. So I can't ask him for it, and I even need to pay more... But there is a premise, the premise is that I love him, and I will give it willingly."

"I do not really get it."

Tao Zi said to me very patiently: "I mean, it's normal for a woman like Lu Jia to have demands on you... In fact, women are really a kind of animal that is very good at balancing. If a man wants to maintain The relationship with women must not make their mentality unbalanced... For example, if a beautiful woman marries an ordinary-looking man, then this man is likely to use money to balance the woman's mentality; or, a A woman who has no feeling for money, perhaps what she cares about is how much happiness this man can bring her in daily life. After all, there are some things or feelings in this world that cannot be measured by money... But in the end, happiness is also a balance woman A way of mentality, if one day you can't make her happy, she may not continue to love you."

"Does the second type of woman you mentioned really exist in this world?"

"Yes, there is one beside you."

I searched in my brain first, and then the appearance of Yang Sisi appeared in my mind...

I was a little speechless, Taozi looked at me and smiled, she seemed to be trying to remind me.

Sure enough, she said to me again: "Sisi likes you very much, everyone in our inn can tell, you don't have to pretend to be crazy with us."

After being silent for a while, I asked her: "Do you think Yang Sisi's happiness comes from fighting with me every day?...Then she likes me because of this happiness?"

Taozi spread her hands and said, "Sometimes love is so simple."

I smiled: "Yes, this kind of love is quite simple; if one day, there is no such happiness between us, we can choose to break up very simply."

Tao Zi was stunned...

After a while, she nodded and said, "I can understand your thoughts... What you want now is a more mature love."

"Yeah……"

……

After drinking two bottles of beer at the bar, I went back to where I lived. I knew it was not an easy night to fall asleep, so I chose a piece of light music called "Beloved" and played it on a loop... …

I don’t know when it started, I fell in love with this kind of music without lyrics, it seems that it can bring me more space, let me think of some things, and the artistic conception it presents will make me calm down Get down and think of someone.

I will not feel lonely, but I will be lonely, and this is the understanding brought to me by music, so that I can fully perceive how far there is between loneliness and loneliness.

In my loneliness, I couldn't help asking myself: There have been some women in my life, who among them is my true love?

After having such questions, I took a few more bottles of beer from the cabinet, and loneliness is the appetizer. When they meet in my body in an intimate gesture, I should get the answer...

After drinking a few bottles of beer, I became more and more depressed... I didn't get any reliable answer, because when I think of Lu Jia, my heart hurts; when I think of Wang Lei, I am full of regrets; only the same, Still lonely... It is like a star hanging outside the skylight, accompanying me from night to morning, while it makes me feel desolate, it also ignites the desire in my heart, so I feel desire again when I am half drunk and half awake The pain of being unsatisfied... Gradually, I just fell into a vicious circle of wanting to drink more.

When I finished drinking the fifth bottle of beer, there was a burst of heart-piercing crying outside the window. I was neither curious nor frightened, because I have lived in Erhai Lake for a long time, and this is already a big surprise for me. kind of normal.

Perhaps the Erhai Lake is really too quiet, so there will be some people who have been abandoned by love, come here to vent, come here to pay homage, they try to bury the lost love in the Erhai Lake, but they would not have thought that the night The Erhai Lake will be so beautiful, so sad that they want to catch the lost person even more, so their pain will only be multiplied by the Erhai Lake, so there will be this heart-piercing scene...

I went to the window and opened the curtains. A young man about my age was kneeling on the ground, tearing his heart tightly with both hands. His tears mixed with snot and saliva, hanging down his face for a long time. I don't even have the strength to get up...

I really want to help him, but I know I shouldn't do it, because this is the most embarrassing scene in his life, he won't let others see it, and he won't cry so heartbroken for the second time... …After this, he will either grow up quickly, or become more depraved!
……

After a long time, I finally remembered to light a cigarette for myself, and then I took a picture of his back with my mobile phone in the smog.

It's been a long time since I posted a Moments update, and at this moment, I posted a...

In this dynamic of mine, the young man’s surroundings are almost all black and white, with only a touch of moonlight falling on the sea beside him, emitting a bright color, just like the woman he will never love.

In a state of mourning for him, I title this photo "Beloved"...

……

I snuffed out the cigarette in my hand, and lay back on the bed. I was looking at my phone, but I couldn’t concentrate. It was like falling into a huge black hole. In this black hole, love was materialized. , sometimes like a flower, sometimes like a sickle...

……

Probably in the eyes of my friends, I am not a sentimental person, so after posting such an emotional post, everyone was very curious. After a while, I received more than a dozen messages, but I didn’t want to reply to any of them.

Because, I did not post this news to convey something to others, I just wanted to remember the scene I saw on such a night, so I temporarily closed the circle of friends.

One minute later, I received a message from Yang Sisi, and she asked me: "Why did you close the circle of friends?"

Five minutes later, Ye Zhi, who was completely different from Yang Sisi, also sent me a message with similar meaning: "Did you delete that Moments post? Why can't I see it?"

(End of this chapter)