Deer in deep forest

Chapter 49 Mom, now you know everything, right?I'm the one who's the most damned...

Jiuqiong Mountain is famous for its verdant forests. The most expensive cemetery in City A is built here.Although it is famous, it is still deserted. There are very few people who come during the day, and even fewer people who come in after evening.

But Gu Yanshu would only go there when it was dark.

The gatekeeper was an old man in his fifties or sixties. He was watching Huagu Opera by himself, and from time to time he sang a few lines suddenly with the people on the TV.On the stool next to him was a half bottle of white wine and a plate of peanuts.

Gu Yanshu parked the car outside and walked in through the open side door without disturbing the old man to open the big iron gate.

He is not familiar with the road, and the number of times he has come to worship in these years can be counted on the fingers. He walked along the gentle slope for about ten minutes, and stopped in front of the large evergreen pines and cypresses halfway up the mountain with vague memory. The words and photos engraved on the tombstone can be seen clearly through the street lamp.

In the photo, he is a middle-aged man with a stern face. After years of ups and downs in the mall, there is a toughness in his brows.

He used to be the existence that Gu Yanshu admired most when he was young, majestic, brave, invincible, and tenacious.That is a child's best sustenance for the role of father.

His name is Gu Jingyang, Gu Yanshu's father.

People in the compound used to say that Xiao Yanshu didn't look like his father or mother, but he had a bit of the charm of Grandma Gu in his eyes, so he liked the two old people the most.But Xiao Yanshu himself was not convinced when he heard it. He felt that of course he should be the most like his father.

Gu Jingyang went into business and created a world of his own with his own strength. Every time the elders in the compound mentioned him, they would give him a thumbs up. Xiao Yanshu felt faintly proud when he heard this.But he was never clingy, he just kept his feelings in his heart.In addition, when Gu Jingyang is serious, the relationship between father and son has always been flat and will not appear particularly close.

But at that time, Gu Yanshu admired his father from the bottom of his heart.

Since when did the earth-shaking changes begin?

Probably because one day, I accidentally discovered the scar on my mother's arm burned by a cigarette butt.He gradually noticed, not only his arms, but also his shoulders, his back, everywhere.There are not only traces of burns, but also wounds from whips and cuts from knives, which are shocking.

When he found out that the murderer was the person he admired the most, Xiao Yanshu was completely frightened, and from then on, only boundless fear remained for him.

How many years has it been?This person passed away.

Gu Yanshu never thinks about this question, nor does he want to spend a little time recalling it.

When he grew up, if he hadn't been able to evade it for a few years, he would not even know the direction of Jiuqiong Mountain after visiting with his grandpa and grandma a few times.

His father was someone he deliberately forgot.

Gu Yanshu stared at the photo. The father and son seemed to be looking at each other for a long time through time and space. He sat down and lit a cigarette. The fire flashed away in the night, and the white smoke ring was blown away by the evening wind.

Gu Yanshu didn't understand why he came here tonight. After many years, he still had nothing to say to a stone tablet, only the hole in his heart was getting bigger and bigger, and the icy cold wind kept blowing through it, endlessly. end.

He feels cold.

The phone vibrated, and it was a call from Lu Wanliang's attending doctor, saying that the patient's mood is very unstable now, and he hoped that Gu Yanshu could rush over immediately.

Gu Yanshu put out the cigarette butt under the pine tree in front of the grave, and went down the mountain without looking back.

The old man who guards the door has already turned off the TV, his face is flushed after drinking, and he is dozing off in a chair.When Gu Yanshu passed by, the old man opened his eyes and glanced at him from the window, then continued to snore.

Driving back from Jiuqiong Mountain, the time spent was cut in half.

There were only a few patients living on the top floor of Xuanren Hospital, and the corridors were extremely quiet, with few family members coming in and out.

When Gu Yanshu opened the door and entered, Lu Wanliang was reclining on the hospital bed and getting an IV drip.The precious bouquets sent by each family during the previous visits were clustered and stacked on the bedside tables on both sides, in a variety of colors.Against the backdrop of the two, it seemed that her plain face was getting whiter.

When Gu Yanshu walked to the entrance, Lu Wanliang heard his footsteps and opened her closed eyes, "Come here?"

"Doctor Li told me that you just refused the infusion." Gu Yanshu said.

Lu Wanliang smiled: "If he didn't say that, would you come over right away?"

"Mom..." Gu Yanshu dragged his tone, with a hint of helplessness in it.

"I really need to find you..." Before Lu Wanliang finished her sentence, there was a knock on the door, and the bodyguard let in a tall girl.

Wearing an off-white chiffon dress, long hair shawl, bright eyes and bright teeth, she is about 20 years old, and she already has a graceful demeanor. She said, "Hello, Aunt Lu..." Her dark eyes looked into the room, and finally stopped at Gu Yanshu. Not knowing how to address him, he also smiled and nodded to him, saying, "Hello."

Lu Wanliang called her over, "You don't need to be so polite..." She began to introduce each other for the girl and Gu Yanshu.

Gu Yanshu looked like an outsider.

He had just rushed back from the cemetery, and his body seemed to still carry the undispelled hostility and gloom. The pure black shirt was stuck to his body, and he became more and more indifferent and alienated.Standing against the wall, with a stern face, under the incandescent light, his whole person is like a lifeless plaster statue in the exhibition hall.

The girl came over and shook hands with him, and the hand was just stretched out in front of him.

"Get out." His tone was cold, as if with thorns.

The girl looked at Lu Wanliang in panic.

Lu Wanliang was also taken aback. She knew that her son had a withdrawn personality and had never been eager to treat people, but her attitude would not be as bad as tonight, so she took the lead in turning her face cold and trying to smooth things over, "Yanshu, you How do you talk to other girls..."

"Get out!" Gu Yanshu repeated again.

In his unwavering voice, it seemed that he had suppressed too many embarrassing emotions, which were about to explode, like a gap was cut in an old old wall, and it was about to collapse.

The girl ran away almost at a trot. She must have been frightened and lost strength in her hands. The movement of closing the door brought a loud noise.

After the loud noise, the luxurious ward was filled with silence.

The liquid in the hanging bottle dripped down bit by bit, and flowed into the body along the transparent rubber tube. Lu Wanliang suppressed the anger welling up in her heart, and calmly said to Gu Yanshu: "That's just a baby from your grandfather's comrade-in-arms' family. Child, the age is right and the personality is good, I want to introduce you to me first, but what is your attitude?"

Gu Yanshu asked rhetorically: "First we just get to know each other, then we get along, and then we get engaged and married, are you going to want me to do this?".

Lu Wanliang stated the facts: "You should always get married."

Gu Yanshu closed his eyes, and said in a low voice, "I only marry people I like."

"A person you like? You mean Lu Xiguang?" Lu Wanliang sneered, her tone was contemptuous, every time she mentioned this name, she felt thorny all over her body, and her words were ugly, "I really underestimated her influence on you, After all these years, she was able to make you die. At that time, she was greedy for life and afraid of death, and left you alone to escape. Who knows..."

"boom--"

Gu Yanshu punched the mirror on the wall, and suddenly interrupted Lu Wanliang's words.

"Rest well, I'll come back tomorrow." Gu Yanshu turned and walked out as he said.

After being stunned for a moment, Lu Wanliang shouted loudly: "Stop!" She pulled out the needle on the back of her hand, lifted the quilt and got out of bed, ran over staggeringly and grabbed Gu Yanshu's arm, with a vicious and almost pleading voice The voice asked him unsteadily: "Son, son...why do you insist on messing with Lu Xiguang? Listen to mom once, and I beg you, marry a good girl who suits you in this life, An An An An Wen Live your life, okay?"

Gu Yanshu's clenched fist was covered with blood, seeping through the gap between his fingers.His heart was like that broken mirror, divided into countless pieces of irregular geometric patterns, torn apart.

"Is it not good enough to cherish the light?"

"She's not good enough for you!"

"Why do you always target her?"

Lu Wanliang was suddenly speechless, and repeated in a panic: "She is not good enough for you!"

"Whether it's before or now, it's because I'm not good enough for her!" Gu Yanshu raised the numb corner of his mouth, his eyes were empty, and there was a kind of unbearable pain on his expressionless face. "She never gave up on me, but I hated her for six years. Mom, don't you think it's too cruel?"

Lu Wanliang couldn't believe it, she was startled suddenly, and asked dejectedly: "You... know everything?"

"Yes, I know everything." Gu Yanshu said.

The truth about his father's car accident, the kidnapping case, and the reason why Xiguang left in the first place, he knew everything through Lu San's mouth.

But in fact, what he hides and bears in his heart is the deepest sin.

He is the one who is unforgivable.

It was a night long, long ago, and Gu Yanshu remembered the sound of pattering rain outside the window.

He had that nightmare again, the high whip fell on his mother's back, and his father's drunken face became extremely ferocious, like a devil in hell.

At this time, he seldom spoke anymore, the sobs he woke up from the dream, and the sobs he couldn't calm down for a long time after waking up, didn't seem to be his own.

He dried his cold eyes, put on his clothes, and went to the study at the end of the second floor to practice calligraphy.Passing by my mother's room, I still couldn't help but want to go in.

There was no one in the bedroom, and after he went to the cloakroom to find nothing, he was about to leave when Lu Wanliang came in from the outside, locked the door, and started calling without noticing that he was in the room.

That night, he stood in the cloakroom and listened to the whole thing.

Black Lincoln, tampering, causing a car accident, three days later, paying half of the money first... These fragmentary words are enough for Gu Yanshu to connect the whole incident together.

He knew that his mother had endured until today, and she was on the verge of collapse, and wanted to do something.

Three days later, Gu Jingyang was going to attend an important meeting at night.

While eating dinner, Gu Yanshu was lost in thought and accidentally knocked over the bowl.Lu Wanliang, who was sitting next to him, hurried to look at his burnt fingers. She forgot to cover up the wound on her wrist, and a piece of gauze was faintly exposed from the cuff.

Gu Yanshu knew that under the gauze was a festering wound.

He looked at Gu Jingyang, who was in a neat suit across the street, and suddenly felt a surge of hatred.

After dinner, Gu Jingyang drove away, and six different cars were parked in the garage.For some reason, instead of choosing his usual favorite black Lincoln, he walked past it and walked to the back.

"Dad..." Gu Yanshu appeared in front of the garage.

Gu Jingyang looked back for a moment, thinking that he had an auditory hallucination, he hadn't heard his son call him for a long time.

"Dad," Gu Yanshu pointed to the Lincoln, with an innocent expression on his immature face, and said, "This car looks good."

Gu Jingyang felt unspeakably happy, walked back to the Lincoln car, opened the door, sat in, and said to him with a hearty smile: "When Dad is free someday, I will take Yanshu for a drive in this car."

"Okay." Gu Yanshu said.

This is a dialogue that Gu Yanshu will never forget in his entire life.

He and Gu Jingyang, between father and son, left each other the last and closest dialogue, with some good expectations.

They even showed long-lost smiles to each other. Behind the smiles, there was a child's conspiracy and an irreparable harm.

After Gu Jingyang drove away, Gu Yanshu went to the study to practice calligraphy.He is not tall yet, a thin and fair child sitting on a high chair, holding a pen holder made of nanmu, his small fingers are a flawless jade color.

He imitated his grandfather's brushwork and wrote carefully on rice paper.

In the end, his hands began to tremble uncontrollably. The cuffs of the white sweater were stained with the ink from the inkstone, and the black was blurred.

In less than an hour, the house was in chaos, and some bad news had come.

His grandma was crying downstairs and was about to faint, calling out his name loudly and mournfully, Yanshu, Yanshu, you will not have a father in the future...

Gu Yanshu locked the door of the study room, leaned on the table covered with rice paper, hugged himself tightly, a small cry seemed to come from his chest.

Since then, he has been seriously ill, and he no longer has the expression of crying or laughing, as if he died.

The doctor diagnosed him with post-traumatic stress disorder, and there was nothing he could do. He could only wait with time to see if there was a turnaround.Later, he met Lu Xiguang, and the turning point in his life finally appeared.

But fate had already arranged everything, and like a karmic cycle, what he gained would eventually be lost again.

"Is this retribution?"

In the ward, Gu Yanshu asked Lu Wanliang.

Lu Wanliang sat paralyzed on the ground, unable to believe what she heard.

"No one knows that I played a crucial role in Dad's death. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have gotten into that car that night, and he wouldn't have died at all..." Gu Yanshu said: "No one more damned than me..."

He wiped the tears on his mother's face with his icy fingers, and said in a soft voice, "Mom, do you know now? I'm the one who deserves to be damned..."

Lu Wanliang cried loudly: "It's not like this, it's not like this..."

Gu Yanshu said to himself: "You shouldn't cut your own hands with a knife. I'm the last person who shouldn't live these years..."

"After meeting Xiguang, I was very greedy and wanted to continue to live like this. Bearing secrets and living in pain, although it was still very hard, I also felt satisfied and happy. When I woke up every morning and opened my eyes, it seemed that I finally There's something to look forward to..."

"Xi Guang is very good, no one is better than her."

"And I'm a monster."

His slender neck seemed to be suppressed, unable to bear the strength of the rock of fate, and slowly drooped.After a long time, he raised his head, his deep eyes were like a vast and waveless sea, so calm that there was nothing.Help Lu Wanliang to the hospital bed and cover her with a quilt.When leaving, also pay attention to turn off the light at the entrance.

Walked out of the hospital, got in the car, stepped on the gas, but it was like crazy.

The car sped out on the street at night.

(End of this chapter)