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Chapter 12 Cultivate team emotional intelligence and improve collective combat effectiveness (3)
In an emotional intelligence training class in Philadelphia, I found a young Japanese employee, Ogurayama, who worked at Dell, struggling with how to please his boss and colleagues.Ogurayama said to me:
"I came here from Nagoya for more than four years. Recently I made a summary of my work in the past few years, and then I was very sad and disappointed. I found that after four years, I was still stuck at the starting point, no promotion, no gain Achievements, no technical ideals, nothing, including good friends."

"What do you think is the cause? What went wrong?" I asked him.He frowned, thought for a while, and then replied hesitantly: "I think it may be that I am too mediocre and lack some personality that people like, so everyone is not interested in me." In "Anatomy of Pain", we saw a "nail-shaped" employee who worked hard but was conscientious and hard-working.

Xiao Cangshan seldom raises objections to the decisions and suggestions of his superiors, he just answers "OK" and does it right away.

He is humble and courteous to his colleagues, full of the spirit of cooperation, and he is a bit too humble in cooperating with his colleagues.

If you don't need him to cooperate with your work, you will never think of the existence of this person in the department.

In short, he makes himself completely the other person in his dealings.In him, what we see is "unconditional obedience".He has no dissent, that is, no personality.In the sea he is a drop of water, but in the woods he becomes a leaf.He is not "Xiao Cangshan", but a working machine that anyone can control and drive. Enter instructions to him according to his own wishes, and he will bow to you and finish these things with super high efficiency. .Even his own summary is full of self-blame and merciless criticism, he thinks that he is too mediocre to attract others' interest in him.

Of course, Ogurayama's team EQ may not be low, he is a rigorous and loyal Japanese.Whether in Japan or the United States, if a person wants to achieve long-term career development, maintaining his personality in the team is very important.We don't see the same stone on a mountain because they are exposed to the wind and rain at different angles, not because they are born that way.

what would happen without personality

The situation like Xiaocangshan is not an isolated case, but a phenomenon that many companies can see.It cannot be said that they do not have the desire to show their own personality, but because they are too accommodating to the environment, they are a little worried—for example, they are afraid that their outstanding personality will bring conflicts or disadvantages to themselves; Some kind of public rules; or they are full of characteristics and have different thinking and ideas from others, but the moderation in their characters is so strong that they always habitually annihilate themselves, to light up others, and are willing to be others' green leaves.

If a person always shows a lack of personality, although it will not cause the "extreme imagination" consequences, that is, frequent job loss or interpersonal tension, but an obvious result is that his mediocrity, whether in life or work, More or less, you will encounter troubles like Xiao Cangshan.

Don't dare to take the initiative to show, even if you have talent, it will be unnoticed.In terms of interpersonal communication, it is a slow-heating type, and it is difficult to impress people, especially when meeting for the first time, so there is an obstacle to making friends.

He rarely puts forward different suggestions at work, and almost never contradicts his boss. Even if the boss's instructions are wrong, he will silently carry out them.

He works hard and has high loyalty to the organization, but many times he doesn't get what he deserves.This is not because the boss is unfair, but because he is too "humble".In the competition for "credit", he is always shy and lagging behind.

How to display and manage personality

I said to Xiao Cangshan: "If you resigned from this company now, how would you evaluate the work of the past few years?"

Xiao Cangshan replied without hesitation: "There are only two words to describe: failure." "If leaving is failure, why not change?" "Mr. Su, please tell me how to change, I feel too difficult .” Xiao Cangshan bowed deeply to me, asking for an answer.This is a huge project, and there are insurmountable difficulties for him, a taciturn Japanese.But the first thing I asked him to do blew his mind because it was so easy for an employee to do.

"Please go to your supervisor next Monday morning and talk to him about your understanding of this job and your requirements."

He widened his eyes in disbelief: "What do you want me to ask for?" "Application for promotion, tell your boss: I want to be promoted." "Ah!"

"What's wrong?" "Is this okay?"

"Of course you can. This is your right. Maybe it's what your boss expects of you. He expects you to show courage." "It's ridiculous in Japan." "But it's okay in the United States."

Of course the Japanese can't understand this. A subordinate actually wants to go to his boss and apply for a promotion?Only then did Xiao Cangshan realize that this was really not the same thing as his previous understanding.It turns out that it is not easy to stretch one's personality, and it requires such a lot of courage.

A few days later, according to my suggestion, Xiao Cangshan took the initiative to talk to his immediate superior for the first time.He applied for a promotion—at the time, with trepidation in his heart, he thought for a while that his boss was going to fire him.But it turned out that he "won", and Dell announced that he had been promoted to deputy director of the department without any reason.In other words, when the boss heard his application for promotion, he immediately nodded in agreement.Because there are always people who see his value, but he doesn't show it in time, and doesn't know how to reach out and ask for what he deserves.

Next, I will talk about the management of personality and specific display issues.

First, today's team survival pays more and more attention to the importance of "integrating into the rules", but it is also impossible for an employee or middle manager to have no edges and corners.The reason why the team has power is precisely because each individual is the source of this power. The combination of different individuals balances the group system and maintains the vitality of the team.That is to say, the team has three characteristics: similar background, same purpose, and different personalities.These three come together and form an excellent team.

For a person with excellent team emotional intelligence, his unique quality has the essential quality of survival.

There have been discussions about personality for many years, but how to show your rich personality in the team is a particularly meaningful emotional intelligence ability.Many times we are not sure about the scale.In my opinion, the uniqueness of a person first has one characteristic: he can stretch and shrink, and can also change into various shapes, changing according to the needs of reality, but he cannot be completely without "unchanging strength of character".

What changes is the needs of the team, but what remains the same is one's own "soul" and "personality".There is a boss who used a sentence when evaluating a subordinate he admired the most: "He has his own unique thinking system, which can always form a useful supplement to my thinking." You see, this is a positive personality.Personality does not make you stand out or stand out from the crowd, but you can use your extraordinary talents to integrate into the team and enhance the strength of the team.Both consistent and unique, the habit of emotional intelligence is an effective quality of life.

1. "Personality" refuses to be a "transparent person in the workplace".You can't lock yourself in a castle, you have to be a tangible presence at work, let others see you, and let them need you.Once you leave, collective work is missing.This is also a reflection of the value of your work.

2. "Personality" requires us to face the problem.When something goes wrong, you must dare to face it, not run away, and be an invisible person.This requirement applies not only to employees, but to managers and everyone.This kind of self-requirement will be faced in life and work.People who avoid problems and troubles are usually weak and have no personality.Managers need to let employees do better on the basis of success, and more importantly, let them rise from poor performance to satisfactory performance, and directly point out their poor performance at critical moments.

In life, we have the courage to face the various problems that arise and find ways to improve, even if our methods seem a bit out of place in the eyes of everyone.This is the positive side of personality, it makes you aggressive, not passive.

3. "Personality" requires you to have a strategic vision.Managers must know how to be the mentor of employees, which is a kind of professional personality.Good leaders can promote the further success of employees' careers, while bad leaders only stare at their own performance and treat employees as pawns.In addition, when employees encounter personal crises, you have to act as their confidant, solve their problems, and teach them.Only by doing this can managers fully mobilize the enthusiasm of employees, develop the potential of their subordinates, and make their company full of vitality and invincible.For an employee, strategic vision may be more necessary, because his career needs to develop—every employee has the desire to be promoted, which not only tests his actual working ability, but also a huge test of his vision.He needs both patience and long-term planning and insight.This is a person's personality at the most important level of thinking.Second, if a person's personality is too strong in the team, it will lead to bad consequences.Many marginalized people in the workplace are always lamenting their miserable fate and underappreciated talents.In fact, it's not that his ability is not good, nor is it that the team doesn't recognize him, but that his personality is too strong, and he has erected a thick wall for himself invisibly, isolating his heart in a lonely castle.

Self-centeredness is a taboo of personality.Many people subconsciously feel that "the earth should revolve around themselves". This is undoubtedly a kind of extremely low EQ. Everyone will just leave him, and who would be willing to revolve around him?
(End of this chapter)