Great time travel

Chapter 10. Immortal cultivation is difficult, Your Majesty should be a superman!

Under the endless bombardment of the Song people, the Jin army, which was smashed by 10,000+ tons of solid sound, finally retreated from Bianliang City.

And our Great Immortal Guo Jing, while enjoying the cheers of tens of thousands of soldiers and civilians, did not forget to cheer these guys up:
"...Of course we can't despise the Jurchen's fighting power, but we can't think highly of them either. They are also born of parents and flesh and blood. How can the Jurchen be full of thousands and invincible? If you are afraid of him from the bottom of your heart, you will lose Knife vs. knife, gun vs. gun, real kung fu shows ability! There is no one in this world who cannot be killed, it just depends on how to deal with them, even the so-called Jurchen iron cavalry, you are not completely invincible..."

At the same time, Wang Qiu, Doraemon, and Nobi Nobita were busy counting the gains of this battle.

"...Changed the course of the Bianliang East Shuimen offensive and defensive battle, only to get 200 reward points? This point is too rare!"

Seeing the first number of reward points displayed on the "Book of Time Traveling", Wang Qiu couldn't help but feel a little headache.

According to such a stingy reward standard, if you want to accumulate the "minimum exit standard" of [-] points, how long will you have to struggle?

However, compared with the lack of reward point income, the actual currency income of the travelers is quite considerable. After collecting mahogany furniture, huanghuali window frames, nanmu house beams, natural herbs, jade ornaments, official kilns, etc. After all valuables such as porcelain were stuffed into the automatic pawn machine, Doraemon once again obtained the latest income of 7000 million yen.Coupled with the proceeds from dismantling the abbot of Tianqing Temple and stuffing it into an automatic pawn machine, Doraemon's total income on the first day in Northern Song Dynasty has reached [-] million yen!
Although it is still a long way from the total debt of 3000 billion, but after all, Doraemon saw a glimmer of hope to pay off the debt.

However, before Wang Qiu and the others could discuss how to continue scraping the ground in this space-time Bianliang City and at least collect a huge sum of tens of billions of yen, a travel-stained man rushed over. The eunuch, Xiao Huangmen, bluffed and brought the emperor's summons.

——Of course, meeting the emperor is the business of Immortal Guo Jingguo.Wang Qiu, Doraemon, and Nobita Nobita, as "followers", did not have the honor of seeing Long Yan, but only waited in the side hall—in fact, in their identities, they were not ordered to guard outside the palace gate A cold breeze is fine.

Then, soon in the evening, it seemed that because of the happy conversation, Guo Jing was retained by the emperor to enjoy the imperial meal together, and Wang Qiu and the others were also in a small room that looked like a utility room or a porter somewhere, I got a "working meal" provided by the palace.

——First of all, there is a plate of cold dishes and salted red fruits.Then there are two meat and two vegetables: steamed mutton, soup bones, hemp rotten chicken skin, and fake fried meat.The so-called fake fried meat is fried wax gourd.The so-called hemp curd chicken skin is made of mung bean powder and sesame paste to make a paste, and then frozen into a tofu-like shape. After it is done, the color is light yellow, with pockmarks interspersed with it, which is similar to chicken skin, so it is called this name... basically similar to later generations Fast food restaurants are cheap eats.

For these Song Dynasty dishes, Wang Qiu, a modern Chinese, was very uncomfortable—there was a big difference between the Northern Song Dynasty dishes and modern Chinese dishes, especially the plate of salted flowers and red fruits. Wang Qiu frowned and fiddled with it for a long time The big salt particles on the dinner plate, I dare not put it in my mouth: the heavy-tasting food served with salt and wine by the people of the Song Dynasty really makes modern people feel incredible.

On the contrary, Doraemon and Nobi Nobita tasted it with great relish—although traditional Japanese cuisine is mainly raw and light, and rarely uses hot oil for cooking, it is heavily salty, and it is desperate to use salt. put in.Even porridge and tea have to be sprinkled with salt...

Some people in later generations said that "Chinese traditional culture is in Japan and South Korea", does it also include daily eating habits?
However, although people in the Song Dynasty tried their best to put salt in some dishes, as if they didn’t need money, in fact, the salt in the Song Dynasty was not cheap at all. There is even a proverb among the people that “Jiechi salt, Bai Shengxue, a dendrobium is worth ten thousand yuan”— ——Because the price of salt is so high, people in Song Dynasty put a lot of salt in their food, which is a way to show off their wealth. The more expensive something is, the more they want to eat more... If it is possible, Wang Qiu thinks he can try it Try dumping salt to raise money, but in the current scene of chaos, it seems that it is easier to search directly.

Also, because it is a "working meal", there is no drink on the table, only a small bucket of white syrup drink called "shui"... This kind of thing called "shui" by the Song people is processed from corn Fermented, it tastes like a lactic acid drink, sweet and slightly sour, good for digestion and appetizing.Regrettably, the weather is freezing right now, so it's really not the time to drink cold drinks. Wang Qiu just drank a couple of cups and didn't dare to drink any more.

After reluctantly eating a dinner that didn't suit the taste, the sky was already gloomy. Wang Qiu and the three traversers had to sit around a candle for a long time, bored, before waiting for the Great Immortal Guo Jingguo to come out from the emperor's side— — Instead of taking them back, come to Doraemon for help!
"...Poor Ye Banxu, who doesn't ask the common people and asks ghosts and gods..." Guo Jing smiled bitterly at them with a very ugly face, "...the so-called poor people must have something to hate, this person who played the role in Jingkang's Shame The protagonist, Emperor Qinzong, is truly a foolish emperor!"

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

In fact, when Guo Jing saw Emperor Qinzong Zhao Huan today, he was startled. At first glance, the emperor of the Song Dynasty was already too thin to be human, with a bloodless face as pale as Blank paper, high bulging cheekbones, hoarse voice, wobbly walk, almost like a drug addict for more than ten years, and like a terminally ill patient... How did this emperor fuck himself? Became like this?

Fortunately, a little eunuch told him the truth quietly: "...Your Majesty has cultivated too much recently, and often takes elixir, and his body is very weak."

——It turned out that the emperor had taken too many pills and poisoned himself with heavy metals!
In fact, Qinzong Emperor Zhao Huan, like his father Song Huizong, was not only fond of poetry, calligraphy and painting, but also obsessed with cultivating immortals and Taoism. He often took some elixir for longevity.However, alchemy these days is very unscientific, especially like to add mercury, lead powder and other poisonous and harmful heavy metals to the elixirs... As a result, Zhao Huan was fine when he was the prince before. Under the repeated battles and defeats of Invasion and Song Jun, the psychological pressure was beyond description, and he had nightmares day after day.In order to get a good night's sleep, he had to take elixir again, and imitated the famous scholars of the Eastern Jin Dynasty, taking Wushisan (a famous ancient drug with similar effects to opium, but much more expensive), forcefully turning himself Tossing has become like this.

All in all, after seeing this sick, haggard, and hyperactive Son of Song, Guo Jing immediately thought of an image——in the movie "The Destruction of the Empire", the man who was trapped in the bunker at the end of World War II, Hitler watched as Berlin fell!

But this is also helpless. If the tension and depression cannot be relieved in time, the emperor may have gone crazy!
——Why are many emperors obsessed with immortality?Because the emperor is an extremely challenging and high-risk profession, most emperors can live their lives in peace, and it is not bad to get a good death. It is not ordinary difficult to become a famous king and a holy king!In the history of China, there are only a few famous emperors, but there are countless mediocre, stupid, and tyrants.

In a sense, the emperor is the most free person in the world, because his power has no restrictions; but from another point of view, the emperor is the most unfree person in the world, and the problem also lies in his unlimited power— —For this reason, once anyone has the imperial power, he must never give up easily. The end of most emperors after losing their power is usually extremely miserable, even if they are seized by their own sons: the tragedy of most emperors in history Fate is enough to make anyone shudder!

Throughout the ages, in all dynasties, elites from all walks of life in the world have weighed, spied on and plotted against the emperor day and night.And every emperor has to work tremblingly and exhaustedly, fighting with elites from all walks of life and even his own descendants all his life, and he can't let go of every minute - people in the world are the emperor's slaves, and the emperor is the slave of power .But even being a slave to power is better than being a dead person!
The endless anxiety for many years has made the emperors nervous all the time, and even panicked and panicked, showing a certain mental sub-health state. Therefore, all kinds of very incredible abnormalities and absurd deeds can be found everywhere in the distinguished emperors. .For example, Gao Wei, the Empress of the Northern Qi Dynasty, liked to play the role of a beggar; Carpentry work...etc, all because of mental illness.

In short, the emperor was under too much pressure and was often in a sub-healthy state of mind. If he was not careful, he might directly fall into the state of insanity.Those emperors who are lucky can still paralyze themselves with wine and sex in the harem, or devote themselves to arts such as calligraphy, painting, singing and dancing; There is no full-time psychiatrist, so Buddhist eminent monks and Taoist celestial masters can only come and try to treat the emperor's mental illness... thus objectively providing a huge benefit to Guo Jing, a "true protector of the country" The market demand has also made the "demons" and "demon monks" who have interfered in government affairs in the past dynasties always repeatedly prohibited.

So, the problem came out—the political commissar Guo Jing who had traveled over saw that he was recruiting "Liujia Shenbing" to resist the Jin captives, so he naturally regarded himself as a military commander, but he didn't expect that his His job is actually a "Psychiatrist for the Queen"... As a result, when the emperor summoned him to the palace, he only briefly mentioned the war, but asked about the matter of cultivating immortality and longevity with great enthusiasm, and he was a little dazed.

The city is already besieged by golden soldiers, Your Majesty, do you still want to "pity the front seat at midnight, don't ask the common people and ask the ghosts and gods"?

This Great Song Dynasty's monarchs and ministers are really fighting one by one to die without limit!

Fortunately, there is someone behind Guo Jing's political commissar, and it is Doraemon who has a great background and can be called omnipotent.

"... Doraemon, I can only ask you to help me with this matter. Is there any way to make this heavy metal poisoned emperor immortal?"

After hearing Guo Jing's complaints, Wang Qiu decisively followed the example of Nobi Nobita, and set his expectant eyes on the robot cat.

"...It's hard to do... [If the phone booth] can only make people jump to another parallel time and space, and it usually doesn't work in another world. [Lies come true] can make the emperor himself a fairy, yes, but The immortal templates pre-recorded above are all grandpas with white beards. I heard that the emperor is only less than 30 years old. If he is made to age so much all of a sudden... Should this be regarded as helping him cultivate immortality and immortality? Or is it killing people? "

Doraemon said distressedly, "...and [Lies Come True Mouth] has a time limit, it would be good if it lasted for half a day."

"...I know this makes you very difficult, Doraemon, but please come up with an idea. You know, only a rich man like the emperor can bear the 3000 billion debt you are carrying now. I can afford it! Please, Doraemon!" Wang Qiu continued.

"...Then let me think about it again...um...or, let's just fool around like this first!"

In view of the above reasons, Doraemon had no choice but to think for a while with a frowning face, and then finally took out some magical props, "...use the [Automatic Medical Box] to treat the emperor first, and heal him first anyway. Heavy metal poisoning. Then let him change into this superman suit - the fairy suit in the future world will not be available for a while, so let's make do with this superman suit first! Anyway, he can fly..."

……

So, when the civil and military officials of the Song Dynasty entered the palace in the early morning of the next day, they saw a horrifying scene that was enough to make the blood pressure of the scholars and bureaucrats soar: a group of eunuchs and maids gathered in front of the palace with their necks up, each of them looked extremely nervous, Pointing fingers and yelling from time to time.And Emperor Qinzong, who only wore a blue tights, a red cloak, and a pair of red underwear outside, was flying around the palace in this outfit that was both immoral and easy to catch a cold. He laughed happily: "...hehehehe, I have become a fairy! I have become a fairy!"

——Obviously, even if he became a superman, the emperor of the Great Song Dynasty had no intention of going out for private visits, acting chivalrously, and saving the world.On the contrary, it caused destruction in the palace: due to the temporary failure to adapt to the superman's power, His Majesty the Emperor tore down a large hall in a daze.

As for the courtiers and bureaucrats in the Great Song Dynasty, after seeing this superhuman emperor in strange clothes with their own eyes, how messy the wind will be, and what kind of moths will be made... I will skip this for the time being. up.

At the same time, a group of traversers including Guo Jing, Guo Daxianren and Doraemon also happily started the destructive destruction of the Northern Song Dynasty royal garden, or the action of "demolition by order"...