Doomsday Paradise

Chapter 2313 Video letter left to Lin Sanjiu (4)

I seem to be talking longer and longer.

The short period of my life before the doomsday, if I really want to talk about it in detail, is much more than the decades after the doomsday.After I grew up, almost everything was clearly printed in my memory; on the contrary, in recent years, no matter what fun I had or what danger I encountered at that time, it passed away and left behind. Not much trace.

I used to have this kind of homesickness too.

Sometimes they float when I don't recall them.For example, my adoptive mother postponed my enrollment and allowed me to live at home for three years; for example, my adoptive father seemed to have once told a friend in the same profession the real reason for the divorce, which provoked several inquiries... But even a practicing physician, Knowing they have nothing to do with me.

No one can use the personality type as an excuse to send a well-behaved and normal person somewhere to be locked up-I imagine that such a society will be full of opportunities for cruelty and pain-so, sometimes you The rules that can be decided on a slap in the head, aren't that bad either.

You see, I haven't done anything out of the ordinary since I was 15.

It's hard for me to explain why.

For natural reasons, I can't feel guilty, and I don't have the so-called empathy.Only exhortations based on reality and interests will be heard by me.Looking back now, I can honestly tell you that during the ten years between my age of 15 and 25, I really stopped tasting the second-hand tragedy of human history.

"Why didn't you send me back to the orphanage?" I asked my adoptive mother once.

She was preparing dinner for my girlfriend who was going to visit at the time - yes, I said that, I was in every way a normal teenager (in case you were wondering, we broke up amicably a few months later because I think being in a relationship is boring).

The adoptive mother's cheeks were slightly flushed by the steam from a large pot of tomato soup. She just tasted the soup in the spoon and felt as if she was going to give it a D-. "It's still delicious," she put the spoon aside and said, "But I can't let Lily think that I can only make sandwiches..."

"You can say that you made my beef stew," I suggested, "but you must have at least one shortcoming, otherwise Lily will think you are a peak that she will never reach."

"Don't use me to practice mouth sweetness." The adoptive mother glanced at me, but still couldn't hold back a little smile. "Look, if you are sent back to the orphanage, who will cook the beef stew as the main course today?"

"I'm serious." I lay prone on the corner of the kitchen island, watching her tentatively pour some garlic powder into the pot. "I'm like a beast to you, right? You have to watch over me forever, protecting others from me and me from others. Why do you have to shoulder such a heavy responsibility yourself?"

The foster mother stirred the soup for a while.

"When I went to pick you up that day, your father said something. He said, for a special child like you, we are the most suitable candidates. I think he is right." The adoptive mother said, "There is nothing else Your parents will understand what is the right parenting method for you; and in places like orphanages or the foster care system, even children who are not special will leave problems and trauma when they come out... let alone you?"

"What does that have to do with you?" I asked.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that by that time, the same conversation had been played out at least twenty times between us, mother and son.

But I still ask questions from time to time, and my adoptive mother will always answer for me as if it was the first time I heard it.

"It's a big relationship." The adoptive mother said seriously, "Other children don't need a special mother like me; and other parents don't need a special child like you. Whether it is from a personal or professional perspective, we all They are the mother and son that destiny has prepared for each other."

I already knew what she was going to say, and that didn't stop me from asking next time.

Depending on her mood, her answers sometimes change; for example, when her adoptive father and friends came to inquire about the situation, her adoptive mother was very angry at the time, so she couldn't help but add a sentence, "Return to the orphanage. I have clean hands and righteousness, but What should you do, what should the society do?" ——I remember every time she adds something, and the next time I ask her, if she doesn't explain everything, I will remind her.

So with my help, the adoptive mother's answer gradually became longer over time, like a small oral essay, repeatedly demonstrating the same conclusion from the perspectives of social responsibility, personal feelings, professional knowledge, etc.

She never said "Why do you keep asking", and I never explained-because I don't know either.

Later, I chose the university where my adoptive mother taught, and I did not live in accommodation. After graduating from university, I returned to the home where my adoptive mother lived every day, just like the past 20 years.At that time, I heard the girls I dated said, "Gong Daoyi's biggest bad thing is 'Mabao'".

Only my adoptive mother and I know that half of it is because of our good relationship, and half of it is out of necessity.

Ferocious beasts like tigers and cheetahs, if raised right from childhood, don't seem to have the will to kill and eat people when they don't have the opportunity and necessity; I was about the same at the time.My adoptive mother restrains me, but also protects me. I am not particularly dissatisfied with this exchange condition.

Later, I thought about it many times, if the end had not come, would I continue to spend my life in such a peaceful way.

Do you know why the world I live in is coming to an end?
The very cheesy answer, war.

A world where I wasn't allowed to kill dogs, and billions of normal people in that world were killed by normal people themselves.You won't let me torture my classmates, but you can torture a group in the most brutal way.Every reason to launch a war is very just, very tragic, full of the righteousness of the family and the country, and has no other choice.No war in history has ever been justified as an excuse for injustice, and this one will be no different.

The local war lasted for several years, but the world war lasted only six months.

Don't you have rules?What about your rules?What about your morals?I am born with a defect, what is your reason?
far away.

Before the end of the world, the adoptive mother was still alive.

Although she was not in her twilight years, she was injured by the war, lost a leg, and had perforated wounds on her internal organs. It seemed that every breath she took was a desperate struggle.I have thought about it several times, it might be a better ending for her if I don't give her a happy death; my adoptive mother also said that she will think about it and tell me when the time comes.

"It's really meaningless to live like this," she gasped, "I just can't let you go."

We were still living in the same old house.The surrounding neighborhood was bombarded and mostly in ruins (I forgot to tell you I pulled my neighbor out of the fire because I thought I'd make up for killing his dog), but miraculously our home barely standing.People above the second floor are no longer able to live. I think this is good, so that it will not become a target again.

At that time, I thought that the complete failure of government functions was only the situation in our local area.There is no rescue, no supplies, the hospital is empty, and the power system has long been blown into darkness.I went out every day, looking for food and medicine, sending out distress calls, collecting pieces of paper and twigs that could be used to make a fire and keep warm... Even in those days, my victim records were still only a group of ants, a dog, and a marriage.

Irony?The hands of a disgraceful person like mine were much cleaner than most people in the world at the time.

Later, the adoptive mother couldn't help but say, "Daoyi, it's okay to hunt animals when you're trying to survive for food."

"Oh,"

It's strange to say that I claim to be smart, but I didn't realize it until this moment. "What about people? Can people do it? I haven't seen many animals, and they may have run away long ago. Besides, no one has a lot of meat on their bodies."

Of course I know the attitude of human society towards cannibalism, but I want to check with my adoptive mother again the boundaries of her rules.

"No, absolutely not." The adoptive mother vetoed me, but suddenly hesitated.She seemed to remember that the outside world was different. "Unless...you don't eat that bite of human flesh, you will die soon. At that time, you can make your own decision."

Little did I know then, this would be the first rule I would ever break.

The reason why I remember that conversation so clearly, in addition to the last sentence, is another reason: the night after that conversation ended, I evolved.

　The original chapter number is a symbol representing infinity, because I think the old palace is really endless, but the starting point is not displayed... There are no such basic mathematical symbols!
　
(End of this chapter)