Doomsday Paradise

Chapter 1356 Hit the sky with the head
When Deng Yilan was in elementary school, there was a girl in her class who was described by the teacher as "naturally rebellious".

The girl was very beautiful, with big eyes, and her hair was never combed neatly. When the whole class lined up according to their size and kicked their legs to go to the cafeteria, she would disappear under the pretext of going to the toilet.When she was in class, she lowered her head to draw pictures on the textbooks, and when she wrote essays, she criticized school education as cramming; if she had to join the group, she seemed to be tortured.Deng Yilan watched her throughout the elementary school, and heard her repeating it countless times: "Why? I don't want to, so my thoughts don't matter?"

"Look at it,"

When Deng Yilan, as the group leader, went to the office to hand in homework, a middle-aged female teacher said to the other teachers, "You are not old, you have such a strong sense of individuality, and you are free and undisciplined. Some of her will suffer in the future!"

That tone seemed to be impatient to see the girl regret it.

Is personal consciousness a bad thing?
Deng Yilan has always felt that she is a completely different person from that girl, if personal consciousness is a bad thing, then she is fine.She would shed tears when the teacher said a word, was never late for class, and obeyed her parents' instructions and acted as a well-behaved cashier—until this day, she suddenly heard herself shout angrily: "But I don't want to!"

For a moment, she seemed to be thrown back more than 20 years ago, and returned to the classroom in that sweltering afternoon.The girl with messy hair was going to stand outside for punishment while crying.

She didn't have time to think about it.The first sentence shook the room, and the next words came out like a tide: "Even if I am sick, even if I think there are two suns in the sky, I don't want to be locked up, what right do you have to restrict me?" personal freedom?"

The male doctor looked at her with his watch.The phrase "What's the use if you don't want to?" He didn't say it, but it echoed loudly in the room.

"If you say I have hurtful tendencies, suicidal tendencies, I need to be protected, well, you do an assessment. But I don't have such tendencies, and any serious psychiatrist will come to the same conclusion. I don't hurt people and I don't Self-mutilation, why are you still locking me up? Just say that a person is mentally ill, no matter whether he wants to be sent to the hospital, this person will never see the light of day again, isn’t this a horror movie?”

The male doctor lowered his head and scribbled a few lines on the paper.

Deng Yilan stretched her neck, squinted her eyes, and saw words such as "manic depression", "impulsive", and "uncontrollable".She almost laughed angrily.

However, this world is like this, no matter what kind of skin someone wears, if you are told to let you go, you have to go, if you are told not to let you go, you can not let you go.Be it the school teacher, the doctor in the psychiatric hospital, the security guard in the shopping mall, or the neighborhood committee meeting that was not over...Deng Yilan's anger, in the eyes of others, confirmed that she was indeed mentally ill - she didn't have to go to work, The unit pays for your medical treatment. Where can you find such a good thing? Only mental patients can be so angry and resentful.

Deng Yilan secretly vomited all the medicine prescribed for her.After her parents came to visit her and advised her to treat her illness well and reflect on her mistakes, she simply let go: anyway, she couldn't escape the supervision of the five big and three rough male nurses, and no one was willing to release her from the hospital; then she could say whatever she wanted. Whatever you say, you can say whatever you want, and you don't have to worry about the consequences of what you say, because she is a mental patient anyway.

Facing the doctor who evaluated her condition, Deng Yilan said: "You know I'm not sick, what are you evaluating? Why don't you evaluate your professional ethics?"

When encountering an overbearing nurse, Deng Yilan said: "Am I an adult? Do I have the capacity to act? Can't I make my own decisions? Do I need you to do my best?"

A month ago, she might have been scared to death by herself, but now she seems to be liberated, looking at the other party's ugly face, she feels very happy.

However, the nurse easily knocked her down with a single sentence the next day.

"Are you still happy?" The nurse's tone was the same as that of the female teacher in elementary school, staring at her, and said with a smile: "Your dead husband was found to be related to the theft of the museum. He didn't succeed in stealing things, so he ate it in vain." Hei died, and they haven't caught the perpetrator yet."

Deng Yilan didn't eat anything that day, but got up at night and vomited twice.

Less than a week after being admitted to the hospital, she felt that she might really be mentally ill.One patient kept saying "they can hear me" and "their eyes are everywhere" all day long; they said he was suffering from persecution paranoia - but Deng Yilan felt that what he said made sense.

By the fifth day, discharge had become a remote hope.The outside world has degenerated into a dream, and it feels very far away when I think about it.In just a few days, the thirty-odd years she had lived outside were blurred, like a cloud of dust blown away by the wind bit by bit.

She became less talkative, always staring at one place in a daze.It seems that I don't think about anything, and I am always tired of thinking.

At lunch that day, she sat in the dining hall like other patients with milder illnesses.She was staring at her tray in a daze when a person came and sat down opposite.

It was the uncle who had been silent all the time.

It is said that he has been in this hospital for a long time, always silent, and has no violent tendencies. He just takes medicine, eats and sleeps when the time comes. As time goes by, the whole hospital turns a blind eye to him, treating him as a table and chair in the hospital. It seems that he has already become part of the background board of this hospital.

"Zhang...Uncle Zhang?" She wasn't sure if she remembered it correctly.

"My surname is not Zhang." This was the first time Deng Yilan heard him speak, with a thick and strange accent, she couldn't tell where he was from.

"Ah, isn't it—"

"They call me Uncle Zhang because my real name has a syllable similar to Zhang." He lowered his head, scooped up a spoonful of porridge, looked at it but refused to eat it.

"Then your real name is...?"

After a long while, Uncle Zhang uttered a series of long, strange syllables, unlike any language Deng Yilan had ever heard.This is indeed a mental hospital, too much paranoia.

"I heard you talking to the nurse yesterday."

Deng Yilan said "Oh".She had no means of contacting the outside world, so she could only talk to the nurses if she had anything to say; she told them over and over again about the blood stains on the corner of the cabinet, and asked them to contact and follow up for her, but no one seemed to pay any attention to her.What's the fuss about a mental patient who mistook paint for blood?

"What's the matter?"

"You asked a lot, why no one went to track down the blood, and..."

Uncle Zhang pushed the bowl away, clasped his hands, and raised his head.His eyelids were slack, covering half of his eyes; however, at this moment, the light that suddenly gathered in his eyes made Deng Yilan secretly startled. "Also, why no one cares what the Twelve Worlds are."

"Twelve Realms", the word made her heart pound.At that moment, the past life in which Han Jun existed floated up again like a ghost; from the dead ashes that had not been blown away by the wind, something like sparks seemed to be jumping up.

"I know you are not an evolutionary," Uncle Zhang said, "Where did you hear about the Twelve Realms?"

Something flashed in Deng Yilan's mind, and she leaned forward. "Evolutionary? What evolutionary?"

"you answer me first."

Deng Yilan stared at him blankly, goosebumps all over her body.

"Are you...are you this evolutionary?" What she really wanted to ask was stuck in her throat and she couldn't say it—is Han Jun also a so-called "evolutionary"?

Uncle Zhang nodded without hesitation.

He looks like a normal person... But that doesn't mean anything. Many mental patients look no different from ordinary people when they don't have seizures.

Seeing her hesitation, Uncle Zhang suddenly smiled: "Do you think you are the first normal person to be imprisoned here?"

Deng Yilan opened her mouth, and was overwhelmed by his next sentence. "They insist on labeling you a mental patient, so you want to label me as well?"

... Of course she doesn't.

Han Jun's quick talk for a while, the advertisement with the man named Lin Sanjiu was actually finished very quickly; when Uncle Zhang heard that someone was recruiting companions to return to the Twelve Realms, his woodcarved face suddenly became more Bloody and popular, as if someone terminally ill had heard of a medical breakthrough.It's just that his questioning about other things made Deng Yilan almost couldn't hold back her emotions several times - if she was crazy, she could forget the injustice that happened to Han Jun and the injustice that happened to herself, so what if she was crazy?

"He's naive."

After she finished speaking, Uncle Zhang snorted softly, "He felt the freedom of being stared at, but he didn't realize the risk of running away... No wonder he ended up like this."

"If you talk like this again, I won't talk to you." Deng Yilan said.

Uncle Zhang laughed, and the passing doctors and nurses turned a blind eye to them. "You're a good girl. Although you are an ordinary person, you are a bit temperamental."

"What is an evolutionary? Han Jun is an evolutionary, right?"

She didn't expect Uncle Zhang's answer to bring her a shock far beyond reality.

Uncle Zhang's words were too bizarre and unscientific. She really couldn't say that it didn't look like something that a paranoid patient imagined after seeing the word "Twelve Realms".Her mind was preoccupied with the end of the world, and she didn't even hear Uncle Zhang's last sentence clearly: "If I can find them... maybe they will be willing to let me go with them."

It wasn't until the middle of the night that day, when she couldn't fall asleep tossing and turning, that she suddenly thought of this sentence, that she sat up in shock.

Deep down in her heart, she still doesn't believe in words like the end of the world, because the end of the world is a very common delusion among mentally ill patients.But regardless of what is going on with Uncle Zhang, he has made one meaning very clear: he wants to leave here.

Deng Yilan didn't want to go to the Twelve Realms, just like she didn't want to step on the rainbow bridge to see what's at the end of the rainbow, after all, she wasn't really crazy.But she really wanted to escape from this mental institution.She didn't know what to do after she got out; even though she felt that every direction was blocked by invisible boulders, and the forces in all directions did not allow her to take a step forward, she still wanted to find an explanation for Wei Hanjun.

Even if Han Jun had something to do with the theft of the museum, would he deserve to die?Can his death be ignored?
She heard a saying before, "It seems that the sky is very high, and I knocked my head after a little jump."But she was stubborn, and before she hit her head badly and couldn't hold on, she wanted to keep jumping and bumping her head against the sky, trying to see how hard it really was.

...Because, everything in the world must be fair.

The next day, Deng Yilan stopped Uncle Zhang in the yard.

"Let's run away together," she whispered.

　Changed the title, so now the title is relevant. "It seems that the sky is very high, and I knocked my head after a little jump." This sentence is not original by me, but from a reader Xiaohuxian: I can do very little, I hope I can use this little power to make you feel like you not alone.

Let me make a digression today. Can you guess what the original text of the sentence "justice will be late, but not absent" is before the translation?
Justice delayed, is justice denied. God translates.

　
(End of this chapter)