first player

He never expected such a happy ending.

Everything came back.Zhai Xing was not ruled by high-dimensional creatures, nor was he caught in a chaotic war like Akto, and everyone returned to ordinary daily life.No one despairs, no one dies.

The years are quiet and good, and civilization is always there.

The seemingly hopeless scene——instead, it was HE that he never dared to dream about.

...so good it broke him.

He hugged Yueyue tightly.Heavy rain fell on their close heads.Passers-by looked at them strangely, no one stopped, no one yelled, as if Su Mingan was really just an insignificant ordinary person, there was no need to pay more attention to them.

This made him feel a long-lost tranquility.

It was as if he had become that ordinary boy again.

His fingers trembled slightly.

... I thought the world game was over, but Zhai Xing did not break away from Gaowei's rule, and everyone was living in panic.

... I once thought that the conflict of wishes at the last moment caused a situation that no one wanted to see. The flames of war raged, the human race was cut off, and Zhai Xing fell into dead silence.

...I thought about the last point progress bar not being able to reach the standard, people dying in tears, and no one can return to their hometown.

...I even thought that I would fail and get stuck in a deadlock, where the entire human civilization keeps repeating the fixed time until eternity.

... I alone never thought that there would really be such a happy ending.

Although I became a lunatic, everyone returned, and human beings did not fall into the chaos of war after the world game.I'm already... very happy.

This proves that I have realized my ideal, that my efforts were not in vain, and that... I successfully saved you all.

Although false.

"... Yueyue." Su Mingan said in a low voice.

"Yeah." Yueyue's voice was still gentle.She will always be by his side, even in his most difficult times.

"Take me... home." Su Mingan thought.Since I can't break the illusion for the time being, I can only walk around.

He never dared to think that he, too, could go home.

"Okay." Yueyue said.

She took his hand and walked slowly in one direction under the heavy rain.After turning the corner, Su Mingan stood at the door of a familiar house, a little dazed.

... How long has he not returned to this home?
I don't even dare to recall my usual dreams.Because he is afraid of being weak.

Familiar table and chair arrangement, familiar old electric fan, familiar desktop computer.There is a photo with my father on the bedside table, and the mimosa on the window sill is still growing vigorously. In the photo, my father smiled at him, as if he had been waiting for him to go home.

From the long-buried memories, he slowly found out the memories about this home, and then superimposed the scenes in front of him one by one...

"I'm back." Su Mingan said.

No one answered him.

Since he was ten years old, he would stand at the door and shout "I'm back" every day when he came back, hoping that someone in the family would respond to him, even if it was a response.But never.

"..."

He walked into this familiar home, and the floor creaked.Yueyue quietly followed behind him.

He walked to his room, turned on the desktop computer, the desktop lit up, and the mouse hovered over the PR editing software, which still stored several live videos of horror games that hadn't been edited yet.He edited it by staying up all night before the world game started, and it hasn't had time to release it yet.

He clicked on these videos and heard a strange, lively voice of his own.

"...There is a cabinet at the corner of this corridor, you can hide in it. Then hide in the archive room through the wooden door, and burn a stick of incense...Okay, archive."

"There will be ghost hands on the top, so you need to identify which is the correct door as soon as possible, otherwise there will be more and more ghost hands."

"Paper wedding dress? I recorded it, this viewer can go to my homepage."

"In this way...the old lady can be blocked in the door, you see, she has nothing to do with us..."

Su Mingan looked at these game materials that he hadn't edited over and over again, and he listened to his own voice repeatedly, feeling extremely strange.

... so lively, is my... voice?
He subconsciously pressed his fingers against his vocal cords, trying to make a similar sound, but he couldn't.It was as if something had already blocked his throat, swallowing everything in the past.

Obviously only five months have passed...why can't he make that sound again?
He looked around again, trying to find a way out of the dream, but the gods seemed to let him stay here on purpose, and didn't respond to him at all.

"Ming'an. After taking the medicine, shall we play games together?" Yueyue stood at the door: "Jumping game."

"..." Su Mingan was silent for a moment, and then slowly responded.

Yueyue's game skills have improved a lot, and he can't beat her.They sat on the bed, and the evening wind blew through the window screen, blowing her long black hair. She was staring intently at the game console in her hand, and she didn't realize that a few strands of long hair touched Su Mingan's cheek.

He pushed back her long hair with the scent of lemon shampoo, lowered his head and focused on the game console.

Time seemed to stand still at this moment. The teenagers and girls playing games were quietly immersed in the small square screen. The cries of vendors, the clinking of bicycles came from outside the window, and the sound of dynamic music came from Wanshi Square in the distance.In addition, there is the sound of the "tick-tick" game console, and the sun shines through the window screen to soak the girl's fluttering black hair, and everything is so beautiful that it seems eternal.

"Ming An, do you want to play a couple together in the future?" Yueyue said.

"Okay."

"It seems interesting to mess around in the kitchen."

"Ah."

"We have a chance to play together. You can continue to be an up host, and I will give you coins for every video."

"it is good."

"Then...the Youth Quest Club will also continue. I see that you have always been interested in detective and decryption books."

"This is not enough."

"Ming An..."

"I'm not interested in decryption now."

"Okay, actually you have a lot of time to do what you want to do, the most important thing for college students is time. Whatever you are interested in and want to do, you can do it - you are free, Mingan."

Su Mingan's fingers paused slightly.

Yueyue looked at him with her chin resting, the game console in her hand resting on her lap.The blood-red glow kissed her face, and her eyes blinked.

At this moment, he suddenly realized that her eyes were not that ignorant girl, but the independent and autonomous Yueyue who had gone through many stages of life.She could be keenly aware of his emotional changes and speak words of comfort to him at the right time.She prepared the medicine to accompany him, silently watched him go crazy, and then comforted him.

... When exactly was she no longer relying on him and he led her.Instead, she started caring for him, she guided him.

After the savior, who had completed his mission, retired, the knight with the sword accompanied him on his final journey.

At this moment, a sharp voice in Su Mingan's heart kept clamoring, saying that all of this is fake, it's all short-lived warmth, your ending shouldn't be like this, it doesn't deserve you, and you don't deserve it either.

He suddenly started to retch, put down the game console and slowly bowed, clutching his chest, but couldn't spit out anything.The intense tension was like a boulder piled up in his chest, squeezing his throat inch by inch.The pain was like a long sharp needle piercing his brain.

...the warmth does not belong to you.

Go back, go back, go back!

He repeated the thought.He was afraid of even dreaming, and he felt out of place even when he touched a little warmth.

"God... get me out of here..."

"God...!"

Su Mingan tried to find the exit again, but no one answered.

He felt that the world in front of him began to twist like a vortex, colorful patterns filled his field of vision, chairs, tables, and windows danced wildly in front of his eyes, until his consciousness fell into a blank for a while.

When he opened his eyes again, he was lying on the bed, and Yueyue was no longer in the room.

There was a very soft discussion outside the door, but Su Mingan could hear it clearly.

"...Is his mental state still the same?" Lu Shu asked.

"Yes. He always thought that he was still in the world game, and the psychiatrist thought he was very ill. He played the game with me for a while, and suddenly passed out again." Yueyue's voice.

"It's better to hypnotize. Since the drug adjustment has been useless, we can only make him forget that memory." Yamada Machiichi's voice.

"I know. Lu has some ideas. He knows some reliable hypnotists from abroad." Lu Shu's voice.

"Hahaha... There are some ways in the road, this sounds so funny..."

Several people laughed, as if they wanted to adjust the atmosphere, but there was only bitterness in their laughter.

Su Mingan looked at the people at the door through the crack of the door.

Lu Shu seemed to be in good condition. He was wearing a sweatshirt, his cheeks were rosy, and he was even a few centimeters taller. It seemed that he was well nourished.The disease was also cured.Behind him is a white Samoyed, the dog has a cute smile.He even started raising pets.

Yamada Machiichi wore a lolita dress generously.His expression looked very sunny, and the gloom when we first met had completely faded away.He's no longer the high school kid who was accused of jumping into a river for dressing up as a woman.He is holding a drawing board in his hand, as if he is going to sketch from life.

Standing beside Mo Yan and Lin Yin were also wearing thick clothes.All of them have ruddy complexions and neat clothes.Lin Yin was carrying a guitar on his back, as if he was going to take guitar lessons.

...they all got happiness.

Su Mingan stood at the door with a pale face. He saw his bony hands, dense pinholes and raised veins on the back of his hands, and then he smiled slightly.

……very nice.

God, the future you constructed cannot defeat me, but instead makes me happy.

Next, he tried to find a way out of the dream while walking around.Lu Shu and the others were always by his side.

Everyone tacitly avoided the topic of the past, and no one mentioned the world game in front of him.They laughed and maintained a warm illusion together, and no one pretended not to see the antidepressant in Su Mingan's pocket.

Whenever Su Mingan picked up a sharp object, they would nervously come over and help him take it, as if they were afraid that he would harm himself.Whenever Su Mingan started to call out to the gods, they would stay silent in place, with a silent and respectful attitude, wait for him to finish calling out, and then hand him the medicine.

... This made Su Mingan feel that he was like a pale puppet.Moving along some invisible thread of presence,
Whenever he saw Lu Shu's hesitant eyes, the sadness buried in Yamada-cho's eyes, and Yueyue's quiet and numb gaze, his heart would start to throb involuntarily.

...are you satisfied?

... Are you really satisfied?

He could not confirm this.

He couldn't give a definite answer.

People have selfish desires, so although egoism cannot be praised on the table, most people strongly agree with this concept in their hearts.This makes them feel that salvation has nothing to do with them, let alone harm their own interests.If they want to suffer the pain of repeated death, they might as well obey Gaowei to rule their own homeland, and use this ability to indulge in the fanatical pursuit of everyone.

But Su Mingan thought, he just felt that some ideals were higher than selfish desires.

He is also a human being, and he often asks himself whether he is worth it.But whenever he is confused, he will always be pulled by the kindness of others, even if these kindnesses are so small that they are difficult to detect compared to maliciousness.

So, who would believe that a person can serve the world without selfishness?

Even Su Mingan himself almost didn't believe it.

But he just couldn't let go.

If the power to revert to death is the last outbreak of Zhai Xing civilization's struggle, the last fire of the end sent by the human race, the moment he received this gift, he couldn't ignore it.He couldn't fool himself into being a sidelined, self-indulgent person.

He couldn't make himself Edward, and he couldn't make himself Mizushima Kawasora.He is Su Mingan, just Su Mingan.

He turned back and looked at them.Seeing Lin Yin picking up the camera and smiling to take pictures of him, Lu Shu stroking Samoyed's head, Yue Yue squinting and smiling with a chocolate bar in her mouth.The wind by the river blew through their hair, black and white were entangled in the wind, and with a click, their smiles froze into flowers.

Su Mingan smiled slightly in the river wind, as if seeing the sunflowers all over the mountains and plains.

...So kindness is like the sunlight slanting through the cracks, the darker the place, the more precious it is.

...so he constructed a lighthouse and made himself a symbol.Countless times on the verge of collapse and moving forward again, countless times struggling with fear, loneliness and pain.

So he can't escape.

……

When passing the cross-river bridge, Su Mingan saw a person.

The man sat alone on the railing of the bridge, looking at the fishing boats on the river.He was wearing a khaki windbreaker, his shirt was still untucked, and the wet wind by the river was blowing his robe, with a quiet and aging expression on his face.

Su Mingan walked to his side, silently, watching the endless river with him.

The man glanced at Su Mingan, and quickly looked away, as if he had been burned.

They watched here for a long time, until the sunset fell into the final tail.