first player

Chapter 785 Chapter 780 "?"

["Which of these two was copied, who disappeared? Who smiled with two smiles? Who spoke in place of two voices? Who nodded in agreement for the two heads? Another man's skin? Who is still alive, who is dead, entangled in whose palm?"]

[——"Szymborska Poems"]

……

……

[Today is the 32nd year of the catastrophe, first encounter. 】

[He has an amiable aura about him.I seem to understand who I have been waiting for.I invited him to walk with me and he wasn't afraid of me, it was the perfect start, sure we would be great friends until the end of my life year. 】

……

"Da da da."

Su Mingan stepped back step by step, his vision swirled and tilted in resonance, and countless emotions collided in his brain.

Heavy rain, red blood, blue blood, smashed experimental liquid, mud, dust, splashed broken ginkgo leaves...he could only see these things.

When the back heel was empty, he immediately grabbed the raised glass next to it to prevent it from falling, and blood flowed down the palm of his hand.

He couldn't hear the voices of Dui Mu and Xiaomei, only the shadowy voice of Lin Guang was left in his ears.

The impact of this emotional resonance far exceeded his ability to resist.

...Because there is almost no similarity between him and Lin Guang.Totally different emotional resonance from Aktor.

Lin Guang stood in the hall with his head slightly lowered.Even the expression lost its sense of reality, and the shadows covered the only facial features, like a static stone sculpture.

……

【That night, I saw him through the window of the City of Gods.He was packing paints in Qiuli's room, what's so good about those gouaches? 】

【He must be very cold. 】

[I'm going to find him. 】

……

The scarlet, entangled hose was crazily entangled behind Lin Guang, like wheat waves under the autumn wind after another. His fingers seemed to be held by the evening wind, subconsciously bent, but he couldn't hold anything.

He looked at Su Mingan who was standing on the edge of the window.

Su Ming'an was bloodied all over.

Su Mingan with hazy eyes.

Su Mingan was only one step away from falling.

Su Mingan looked miserable.

There was a subtle pleasure in Lin Guang's heart.

Like an innocent child, he felt the joy of revenge, and also felt the unspeakable sourness and pain.Obviously he is very happy, but also very sad. He seems to have felt this feeling many times.

When he shot himself, when he choked himself, what he felt was this kind of emotion mixed with joy and pain.

Because many emotions have never been felt, and their definitions are not clear, so it is impossible to judge what it is.

What distinguishes humans from animals is not their natural attributes, but their social attributes.Social attributes arise from the interaction between people, such as communication, walking, and cooperation. Only by constantly summing up the experience of these things can people become more and more like "people".

But he didn't.

He's not like that at all.

……

[I crawl towards him. 】

[He actually smiled. 】

[It's funny to see me dying on the ground? 】

【I took a walk with him last night, and he was obviously very happy.If he likes the scenery before the cataclysm of the century, he doesn’t need Qiu Li to paint. I can show him as much as I want. I already understand that the reason why I want to find someone with black hair and gray eyes so much is to meet him. 】

[I want to tell him that I want to be friends with him.But his gun was pointed at me. 】

【why? 】

【…】

[Just because I have the logo of "Faction Boss" in his field of vision? 】

[So I can't have good intentions for him? 】

[So he must reject me? 】

……

【I understand. 】

[The gods told me - just order the beacon gathering place, and let them hand him over directly.It turns out that this is the correct way to make friends. 】

……

Lin Guang walked towards Su Mingan.

"Lin Guang, do you have to do this?"

Su Mingan's voice was very soft and slow, and could even be called kind.In those years of the War of Dawn, when spreading the Lighthouse Cult, Su Mingan used this soft tone of storytelling, which was extremely confusing.

"You are the person Akto trusts the most, you have the highest administrator authority, and you are the only one who can compete with the gods. If you do anything to me again, there will be no hope for the ruined world." Su Mingan said softly: " You are his best companion, don't let him down."

Lin Guang stopped.

They looked at each other at a distance of about ten steps, and Lin Guang suddenly said:
"...Then why didn't you say that earlier?"

Su Mingan said softly "Huh?", as if trying to comfort a restless pet.

"Why didn't you... say that earlier?" Lin Guang said.

His voice became hoarse, as if a heavy weight settled in his pupils.

"If you can treat me earlier, treat me with such a gentle tone. If you can obey me a little, give me a little warmth, smile at me like you treat your companions, and promise to be friends with me." Lin Guanglow said, "Are we going to become like this?"

Su Mingan's pupils trembled, and after a while, he said softly:

"meeting."

Because that's who you are.

Lack of emotions, no basic three views and bottom line, if you are slightly bewitched by the gods, you will do the most terrifying things.There is a god in my ear, how can you be friends with me.

No matter how I treat you, we will get to where we are now.The calculation of the gods is like this, leaving no gaps.

"No." Lin Guang persistently denied, "There must be a possibility for us to become good friends."

"32 years since the cataclysm, if I want your city of gods, will you agree?" Su Mingan said suddenly.

"..." Lin Guang's expression trembled violently, and after a while, he said tremblingly, "No."

"In the 49th year of the catastrophe, if I asked you to stop the nuclear explosion, would you agree?" Su Mingan asked again.

Lin Guang clenched his fists: "...No."

"In the 63rd year of the catastrophe, if I want you to tell me all the secrets you hide, will you agree?" Su Mingan asked the third question.

Lin Guang bowed his head: "No."

"Then..." Su Mingan softly asked the fourth question: "The 71st year of the catastrophe, I want you to retreat now, and don't join forces with the gods. Will you agree?"

long silence.

For the four questions, none of Lin Guang could give a definite answer.And these four questions are the goals that Su Mingan must achieve.

How could they be in the same position.Fundamentally, there is an inevitable contradiction.

How could they be friends.

"Every time I beg you to come with me, to leave the fire pit of Doomsday City, you refuse to agree. In the end, as I expected, you were betrayed by humans again and again." After a while, Lin Guang said:
"But when they ask you to stay and take care of them, you always stay without hesitation and don't come with me. It's like I'm the fire pit here."

"You don't give me any warmth, you only start persuading me when you need me. I am like a tool to you. "

When Lin Guang said this, he stretched out his hand suddenly. Su Mingan just wanted to back away, but found that Lin Guang was only reaching for himself.

Like crazy, Lin Guang peeled off the Hanfu on his body, revealing his shoulders, forearms, abdomen... the bandages oozing blood, and the bruises on his neck.The bright red blood oozes out with the movement, staining the bandage like a blood-stained white rose.

Su Mingan watched this scene vigilantly, only then did he realize that Lin Guang was seriously injured, with wounds all over his body.

Who can hurt Lin Guang?
"I seem to have told you more than once, don't treat me as an NPC." Lin Guang pulled the blood-stained bandage, and whispered: "But your attitude has always been the same. Treat me like an animal Beasts that go mad—you never think about it, and I might have no ill intentions for you."

"Of course I've considered it." Su Mingan said softly, "You crushed my thoughts with your own hands."

"It was the gods who told me that this is the right thing to do. I don't know how to do it will hurt you." Lin Guang said.

"A ferocious beast driven by people." Su Mingan said, "Isn't it a ferocious beast?"

He squeezed his five fingers together, the glass wound on his palm was still bleeding.

"You sewed up the wound you caused." Su Mingan raised his tone again: "Does it mean that no harm has been done?"

There was a crack in Lin Guang's expression.

He seemed to realize something, and looked at Su Mingan with dull eyes, as if begging Su Mingan not to continue talking.

Don't... go on.

please.

"If you are really Lu Shu..." Su Mingan said loudly, he clenched his fists tightly, forgetting that the wound was still bleeding, and the ending sound was as sharp as a knife:

"—After doing those things for 40 years, can you still be Lu Shu?"

The reason why people are human is that they are connected by social relations with each other.When this kind of social relationship and experience is gone, then this person can no longer be the person in the social relationship.

At this moment,

A tight string on Lin Guang's body broke with his cracked expression.

……

[I look down on this world like a god, never thinking that one day I will be as humble as a mouse in the gutter. 】

[I used to not understand what "friend" means, what "loneliness" is, all I can perceive is despair and numbness.Finally, I can feel a little bit of happiness, and I want to keep it. 】

【but why……】

[Can't do it? 】

……

"it is good."

At this moment, Lin Guang's voice was very quiet.He stood where he was, like a lonely tree.

A bleak smile appeared on his pale face, like a rotten tree that was overwhelmed and finally broke.

"It's still Lu Shu."

"It's still... Lu Shu."

His fingers touched his left chest and tore off the bandage there. Then, his fingers pressed against the skin there, his nails embedded, and he started to tear the skin on his left chest.Blood flowed along the nails and seeped into the crevices of the nails, flowing between his fingers.

Seeing this scene, Su Ming'an felt that Lin Guang's actions were ridiculous. He moved to the right step by step, and called "Team Mu" in a low voice.

The text in front of him flickered, which seemed to be Team Mu's response, but due to overlapping visual and auditory hallucinations, Su Mingan couldn't see clearly.

Wave after wave, the overly strong emotional resonance overwhelmed all his senses, as if there was a figure in Hanfu standing silently in the rain, holding an oil-paper umbrella.

Blood sprayed in the pool of water, and the figure in Hanfu moved slightly, with his head held up, not knowing where he was looking.

【Does it still make sense? 】

[You must never give up. 】

【It doesn't matter if you are shot, pierced by a sword, pushed off the train, or burned by flames. 】

【It doesn't matter if you are misunderstood or hated by others. 】

[You must never give up. 】

……

In the endless hallucinations, Su Mingan even saw a white-haired figure standing indoors under the dim light.He put the dry ink couplets into the travel backpack; arranged the flute scores one by one; sorted the ginkgo leaves that he wrote in the diary according to the year, and locked them in the cabinet one by one; Clinking knots.

"Look, on the next trip, I will go to you. This is the flute I plan to give you."

The white-haired young man was halfway through tidying up, holding a flute, talking to himself in the air, with a kind of warm satisfaction in his expression.

It seems that there is really a friend in the air, who communicates with him on weekdays and cares about him all the time.

But in fact,

no one.

Then, it all turned into a fire that burned up all contentment.In the midst of the fire, only the voice of the arson mercenary calling him a devil.

……

【Does it still make sense? 】

[You must never give up. 】

……

[—Grandma, I saved you, can you answer me, what is love? 】

【—Lin Guang!the devil!leave me alone!leave me alone! 】

……

【——Seldom come to this kind of place full of strange beasts in the future.You are the head of the mercenary group, so you should know a lot. Can you answer me, what is love? 】

【—Lin Guang, although we are grateful to you for saving me.But please leave, let others see me standing with you, and I won't be able to be the head of the mercenary group. 】

……

【——Little girl, the robbers have already been chased away by me, can you answer me, what is love? 】

【--Who are you!It's the bad guy my mom keeps me away from!You are Lin Guang!I have seen your portrait!Mom, save me! ! 】

……

"Da da da."

In the hallucination, Su Ming'an saw thousands of ginkgo leaves like butterfly wings, and the cold wind blew these "butterflies" up, and the countless golden leaves "rustled" like stars.

The white-haired agent stood at the gate of the garden villa, and the white grid surrounded the lights, shining the clear water, like a long bridge of water and light.

His expression was stunned, an expression of being incomprehensible to everything.

Without basic thinking logic, unable to perceive positive emotions, unable to communicate reasonably with others, unable to love and be loved.Just like a person who lost his five senses at birth, he was covered in a black shell, and his behavior was always mixed with innocence and cruelty.

Then, he turned his head and looked at Su Mingan, as if he saw a living butterfly hidden among thousands of ginkgo leaves.

A smile appeared on his pale face:

"xxx."

"xxxx?"

……

(End of this chapter)