This celestial master is not serious

Chapter 1 Doing one line of love

9 pm.

Wucheng, Yumin Street.

As usual, Xu Yang pulled down the shutter door of the funeral shop on time, then turned around, and went up the stairs full of sundries to the second floor.

From the beginning to the end, there was a "girl" behind him.

This "girl" has long black hair, is wearing a red dress, and has a rather hot figure.

It's just that her long hair completely covered her face, making it hard to see her face clearly.

And he walked lightly, without the slightest sound of footsteps.

If you look closely, you will find...

When she walks, her feet don't touch the ground, she simply "floats".

In the dim light, there is no shadow.

Xu Yang is not surprised by all this.

Because he knew that this "girl" was not a human being, but a... female ghost!
It all started half a month ago.

………………

Xu Yang has a high school classmate named Ma Long who is currently herding sheep in his hometown.

Of course, herding sheep is just a cover, what he actually does is "treasure digging".

Half a month ago, at the invitation of Ma Long, Xu Yang went to the mountains to do a "faith ceremony".

When it was said that it was "digging treasures", a strange situation was encountered. Considering that Xu Yang boasted that he had learned Taoism from his grandfather and went to the countryside to do Buddhist rituals when he was studying, he might be a bit "virtuous", so he invited Xu Yang over.

Xu Yang never believed in evil.

But due to the friendship between the two, Xu Yang could only pretend to go through the motions.

After all, in his opinion...

The so-called doing "dharma affairs" is just to seek peace of mind.

That night, when he was returning home after finishing the "ceremonies", he met a woman who stopped the car.

In the middle of the night, the traffic in the mountains was inconvenient, and the woman was pure and lovely, with a hot figure that didn't look like a bad person, she acted coquettishly and winked at Xu Yang, out of kindness, Xu Yang let her get into the car... …

However, as soon as she got into the car, her style of painting changed.

The long white dress on his body turned into a red dress, his hair was disheveled, and the ends of the hair were still dripping with blood. He took off his head and performed like playing with a ball with his left and right hands.

Xu Yang was so frightened that he thought he had encountered a "ghost hitchhiking", and drove back to the urban area tremblingly, but the female ghost did not leave, but entangled Xu Yang!
In the past half a month, Xu Yang tried every means to get rid of her, but without exception, when Xu Yang returned home, she would quietly appear in front of Xu Yang.

Xu Yang is about to collapse!
Although he has been doing "dead business" with his grandfather since he was a child, and even witnessed his grandfather doing things for others...

But Xu Yang, who was born under the red flag and grew up in the spring breeze, has been exposed to modern education since he was a child, and he believes in science, and never believes in these ghosts and gods.

When Xu Yang was a child, whenever he stayed up at night, his grandfather would tell him a few short stories about catching ghosts.

But Xu Yang never believed it.

Now, he actually hit a ghost?

From the beginning, he asked his friends for help and called the police, and then he went to the temple to worship the Bodhisattva, entered the Taoist temple to make offerings to the Taoist ancestor Tianzun, and posted a post on the Internet asking for help...

Even the "blind-eyed woman" in the countryside and the "imam" of the Hui nationality have looked for...

But without exception, no one could see the female ghost who was always by Xu Yang's side at that time.

From the panic and worry at the beginning, to the numbness later...

Xu Yang is now lying flat!
Damn!

Isn't it just a female ghost?

Afraid of wool!

People are dead and their eggs are upside down!
………………

Xu Yang is an orphan.

Since he can remember, he has never seen his parents. He and his grandfather depended on each other since he was a child, relying on this "funeral shop" to make ends meet.

More than three years ago, the old man died of a sudden illness, and before he died, he handed over the "funeral shop" to Xu Yang.

Fortunately, although this business is a bit unlucky, the profit is not small. In addition, there are little things about Xu Yang and the old man living together in this store, so Xu Yang has been guarding it.

Funeral stores are not big, but they are not small either.

There are two floors up and down, the front of the first floor is the store counter, and there is a small utility room behind.

On the second floor there is a bedroom, a small living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom.

On the second floor.

Xu Yang turned on the light, went to the kitchen to boil water, and went into the bathroom.

woo woo woo woo……

The female ghost followed and floated in.

Xu Yang's expression was numb, and he turned a blind eye to the female ghost. He unbuttoned his pants and let the water splash.

The female ghost floated aside and remained motionless. Although her face was completely covered by her hair... But at this moment, Xu Yang had a feeling in his heart that she was most likely staring at her son.

"What are you looking at?"

"Have you ever seen such a big one?"

What happened in the past half month made Xu Yang feel a fire in his heart, and now he would be watched even if he urinated, so he said angrily!
Female ghost: "..."

She tilted her head and said nothing.

In the past half month, she hasn't spoken at all, she seems to be a dumb ghost!
"Depend on!"

"Why does this make people live well?"

Xu Yang cursed, didn't even bother to pull up his trousers, and punched the female ghost with red eyes, cursing angrily, "Come on, kill me if you have the ability!"

brush!
The female ghost's figure flashed, shifted shape, and appeared on the other side again, pointing at nothing with her slender hand...

hum!
Xu Yang immediately felt a strange force acting on him, making him unable to move his fingers.

The nameless anger rising in his heart seemed to be poured with cold water, Xu Yang calmed down instantly, and said, "Sister Gui, don't be angry, I was just playing with you..."

The female ghost turned around and floated out of the bathroom whining.

Xu Yang became anxious: "Sister Ghost, I was wrong, can you let me go?"

"Depend on!"

"Damn, you must at least let me pull up my pants?"

hum.

That power dissipated.

Xu Yang's whole body went limp, and he felt cold sweat all over his back. He pulled up his pants tremblingly, washed his hands, and thought to himself: "As the saying goes, it's better to live than to die... Although this female ghost doesn't know what it is I don't know why she pestered me, but at least she didn't harm me for the time being."

Come to the kitchen.

The water has boiled.

Yu Yang took out two buckets of instant noodles, skillfully sprinkled them into the bag, and poured boiling water on them.

soon.

Instant noodles are ready.

The female ghost floated over, opened a bucket of instant noodles, lowered her head and sniffed vigorously.

Visible to the naked eye, two streams of "white air" floated out of the instant noodle bucket, passed through her jet-black and soft hair, and then disappeared.

The female ghost patted her belly in satisfaction, floated to the sofa in the living room and turned on the TV.

Xu Yang was not surprised by this scene. In the past half month, the female ghost has been like this every time she eats. When she sniffs hard, a bowl of steaming hot rice will immediately become cold and moldy.

Quickly deal with instant noodles.

Seeing that the female ghost was still sitting on the sofa watching TV, Xu Yang quietly turned on the computer and typed four words on Baidu——

"How to catch ghosts?"

It's useless to go to the Taoist temple, it's useless to go to the temple, it's still useless to find a witch, so Xu Yang decided to do it himself!
It's true that it's better to live than to die, but no one wants to live with a female ghost every day.

Press enter.

A lot of content appears.

"Old Wang catching ghosts?"

"0:00 in the morning, remember, it must be 0:00..."

"Prepare a candle and a rope."

Xu Yang's eyes lit up, and this kind of precise answer, which took the time to the second, was very reliable at first glance.

He read on—

Light a candle and place it in the center of the living room.

Tie one end of the rope around the left ankle.

The other end is tied to the leg of the coffee table in the living room (in order to prevent you from being taken away by ghosts).

Hold your breath, gather your energy, concentrate on closing your eyes and meditate for 10 seconds, then use your prehistoric power to shout loudly:
"Come out, get out of here for me!"

after that……

"Your mother will come out to beat you, your father will come out to beat you, your neighbors will greet your parents, and your parents will beat you again."

Xu Yang: "..."

Before he could start cursing, he saw a strand of black hair falling from the sky and slowly falling in front of his eyes.

Tick!
Tick!
On the tip of the hair, blood was still dripping.

"Ha ha ha ha……"

Xu Yang forked out the browser in an instant with the shortcut key, and said awkwardly: "Sister Gui, don't get me wrong, you also know that I am in the business of dead people. As the saying goes, I do what I do and love what I do. I think these are just to deepen my professionalism. No other thoughts."
.
　PS: It's the first time for a newcomer to write a book, so please be gentle!

　
(End of this chapter)