Chinese dining table

Chapter 1272 If I don’t get hit by the bombardment and you don’t get hit by the bombardment, then who gets hit by the bombardment?

Tigers are born to eat meat.

Cannons were created to kill people.

After the artillery test was completed, when the second workshop demonstrated it to the emperor for the first time, sixteen death row prisoners were tied at the point where the cannonball would land. These sixteen death row prisoners were not ordinary prisoners, but prisoners who were transferred from the Lijingmen Tuisuiyuan in Luoyang.

These death row prisoners were basically officials or nobles. When they were taken to the second workshop, their faces were covered with blue patterns carved on them, and their facial features were flattened. Even though Yun Chu saw a few familiar figures among them, when he asked them, these people did not dare to recognize them and only wished to die quickly.

The Luoyang Lijingmen Tuishiyuan is a trial institution under the Censorate. The officials in this institution are not normal Tang Dynasty officials. It is said that the officials have complicated backgrounds, including cake buyers, prisoners, slaves, and even foreigners.

These people were the ones who gained their positions by exposing and informing on others during the period when the Queen established the Tonggui in Luoyang. These guys who were in danger of losing their positions were like vicious wolves. As long as the officials and nobles in the court made the slightest mistake, they would bite them fiercely and would not stop until they were killed.

Yun Chu didn't want to get involved, and with the active urging of Hou Sizhi, the judge who transported these people to Chang'an, the sixteen people were blown into pieces by a round of artillery fire.

When the emperor saw it, he was delighted for several days.

Using artillery to execute death row prisoners is somewhat of a waste of resources. Yun Chu feels that from the perspective of astronomy, geography, climate, or divination, this is a very suitable time to fire artillery.

I just don't know where the shells will land.

When Yun Chu walked out of the dark room the next day, he found that nothing had happened on the Yun family's side. Not only was Fei Jiu alive, he also ate a pound of buns in one morning. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank God, Yun was not the one who got hit.

When Yun Chu was on duty, he no longer walked on Zhuque Street, but went from one market town to another, enjoying the fun of ordinary people in Chang'an.

City life is still quite interesting, whether it is an old woman who is worried about her children's pee and pee early in the morning, or a woman carrying a urine bucket with her bra half-undone and looking like she hasn't woken up yet, these are not things Yun Chu can easily see.

Seeing a tiny baby poop out an epic piece of feces, Yun Chu rode away on his horse. Just now, if it weren't for the sound of Wuzhuima's hooves that strongly encouraged the baby, the baby would not have achieved such a great feat.

This is all thanks to the imperial court, Yun Chu does not dare to act on his own.

It was not until half a cake flew down from the second floor and was grabbed by Yun Chu that the usually kind-hearted county magistrate finally got angry. He looked at the half cake in his hand and shouted. Dozens of bad guys who had gathered around him early swarmed over. In an instant, the ordinary two-story building was filled with burly bad guys.

A moment later, seven or eight ragged men, women, old and young were forced by the bad guys to kneel in front of Yun Chu's horse.

Judging from the clothes these people are wearing, they are not wealthy. Among them is a broker wearing yin-yang shoes.

Yun Chu was very angry. How could people waste food like this?
The leading bad guy took half a pancake from Yun Chu, dipped it in juice from a woman's clean bucket, and then distributed the half pancake to the eight people, from the white-bearded old man to the toddler, not sparing a single one.

After they finished eating, the bad guys would seal their mouths with leg bandages and would not remove them for less than two hours.

Yun Chu was a vigilant official who could often guess when autumn would arrive from a fallen leaf.

Since the embarrassing scene of throwing food away started to appear in Chang'an, it means that the people of Chang'an have reached a very high level of wasting and ignoring food.

This kind of unhealthy trend must be stopped.

So at the morning meeting of the Wannian County Government, Yun Chu ordered the officials of Wannian County to set an example and live a simple life, and to implement a new life movement in Chang'an that saving is glorious and wasting is shameful.

This matter is under the charge of Si Hu Yang Jiong. The New Life Movement must be carried out to the end and implemented in all aspects of Chang'an City. The concept of saving and cherishing food must be instilled in every Chang'an citizen.

For this purpose, the county magistrate Yunchu also wrote a poem to mark the beginning of the New Life Movement.

"In spring, plant one grain of millet, and in autumn, harvest ten thousand grains. Even if there is no idle land in the world, the farmers will still starve to death."

As soon as this poem came out, everyone praised Yun Chu for his unconventional style of writing poetry, as he could write poetry wherever he looked.

The day before yesterday, public toilets were cleaned up, and today waste is being cleaned up. Everyone in the Wannian County government office and the Chang'an County government office was busy. Officials from all over the place left the government offices and went deep into the streets and villages to vigorously publicize the two policies proposed by the county magistrate and require all the people in Chang'an to abide by them.

The officials even expanded the county lord's requirements to a certain extent, from clean public toilets and precious food, to hygiene and humanistic environment. They vowed to work hard for 30 days and give the county lord a clean and civilized new Chang'an.

Prince Ji Li Shen came to Wannian County respectfully. After entering the Yunchu official residence, he threw his slightly fat body on the chair and knocked on the table to ask for tea.

Yun Chu poured a cup of tea for Prince Ji Li Shen and handed it over. Li Shen took a sip and said, "There can't be feces and urine in the toilet. What's the reason for this?"

Yun Chu took a sip of tea and said, "Hold it in."

Li Shen sat up straight and said in surprise: "You mean, from now on I will take the princess and the prince to the toilet to eat, and then go back to the dining room to poop?

The princess and I don't care where we eat, but I feel sorry for your nephew, who has been weak since childhood. Can you please show some mercy and allow him to eat in a normal environment?"

Yun Chu thought for a moment and said, "It's not impossible, but I'm afraid it will be bad for the prince's health if he eats in a normal environment."

Li Shen looked at Yun Chu for a while and said, "I will go back and send the prince to the old immortal's courtyard and have dinner with him."

Yun Chu looked at Prince Ji Li Shen and said, "Over the years, your family's jade business has been very big, and I heard that you have made a lot of money. Now there are many copper coins in the Chang'an treasury that have been exposed to the sun and rain and have become rusty. Don't you want to contribute to your country?"

Li Shen shook his head and said, "No!"

Yun Chu refilled Ji Wangshen's tea and said, "How stingy you are, my Lord."

Li Shen said, "Don't push me into a trap. Ever since Taiping, Yong Wangxian and some unknown families began to absorb a large amount of copper coins, the Ji Wang Mansion took advantage of the high price and sold all the copper coins. Now, I estimate that the Ji Wang Mansion does not even have 50 strings of copper coins."

"Are you scared?" Yun Chu said sarcastically.

Li Shen said: "I visited the second workshop. Did I fall into the trap?"

Yun Chu laughed and said, "Who made you so curious?"

Li Shen wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, "What are the consequences of being too curious?"

Yun Chu smiled and said, "I've heard of a country slang before, which goes - curiosity kills the cat."

Li Shen gritted his teeth and said, "You're not going to give me a chance to live, right?"

Yun Chu spread his hands and said, "If you have the guts, then rebel for me. You rebel in the morning, I suppress it at noon, and in the afternoon I chop off all the heads of your family members at your doorstep. You have a large family, and I heard you have hundreds of concubines. If the heads of all the concubines are rolling all over the ground, it must be a spectacular sight."

Li Shen imitated Yun Chu and spread his hands, "What should we do?"

Yun Chu lazily leaned back in his chair and said, "It all depends on who gets hit."

Just as the two were sitting in chairs and talking nonsense, there was suddenly a burst of rapid artillery fire in Chang'an City. The sound of artillery was rumbling, and then there was a loud bang of shells hitting the ground and exploding. Judging from the sound, it was not far from the Wannian County Government Office. The window frames were rattling due to the sound of shells.

Neither Yun Chu nor Li Shen had any intention of getting up and avoiding, allowing the dust on the beams to slowly fall.

The sound of the artillery fire lasted for a whole stick of incense. When it stopped, Yun Chu took his hand off the teacup, took a sip, and said to Li Shen, who looked pale, "From the sound, it seems that this is not the direction of your home."

Li Shen didn't care about the dust on the tea, he took a sip and said, "It's far from my home."

Yun Chu stood up and put his hands on Li Shen's shoulders and said, "Don't worry, the bomb will definitely explode in your house."

Just as he finished speaking, the rumbling sound of artillery fire was heard again outside. Yun Chu looked at the officials and servants running around outside, sighed, and said to Li Shen during the interval between the artillery fire: "No one who deserves to be hit will be left out."

Li Shen waved his hand to clear away the dust in front of him and said, "Including your home?"

Yun Chu said: "There is a 40% chance that my family will be hit."

Li Shen asked hurriedly: "Where is my home?"

Yun Chu sighed and said, "Seventy percent!"

Li Shen smiled and said, "Fortunately, the princess took the prince to serve the old immortal."

It was always dusty staying in the room, so Yun Chu and Li Shen came to the yard of Wannian County. Li Shen wanted to play Go with Yun Chu, but Yun Chu refused, so they played the game of "Strive for the Top" with cards.

The competition between two people is naturally extremely boring, but the two of them sat in the courtyard, drinking tea, playing cards, and having a lot of fun.

Everyone in the county government office was originally waiting for the county magistrate to give orders to track down the artillery positions and capture the evil villain in one fell swoop, but they found that not only did the county magistrate not give any orders, but he started playing cards with Prince Ji.

Lu Zhaolin, with a pale face, held up a large umbrella to help the county lord provide shade, but his body was shaking so badly that he couldn't even hold the umbrella properly.

Taking advantage of the opportunity when Ji Wangshen was shuffling his cards, Lu Zhaolin said to Yun Chu with his teeth chattering, "My Lord, Wu Chengsi's residence was razed to the ground by artillery fire."

Yun Chu asked, "Wu Chengsi didn't go on duty today?"

Lu Zhaolin stuttered as he said, "He changed it to a day off, saying he was going to hold a centenary banquet for his second son."

Yun Chu nodded and said, "Tell him to go on duty tomorrow as usual. He can't let trivial matters at home delay his work."

Lu Zhaolin nodded in agreement, and then whispered, "The neighboring Wu Sansi residence was not spared either. The bombardment just now should have been at Princess Taiping's residence."

Yun Chu did not comment. Seeing that Ji Wangshen had shuffled the cards, the two of them began to draw cards, studying very seriously how to escape first.

After Yun Chu threw a card, he saw Lu Zhaolin still standing by and frowned, "Have you completed such an important task? Did you do the flying insect-free public toilet as promised?"

Lu Zhaolin cried, "I'd better serve the prince and the king first."

As soon as he finished speaking, the sound of artillery fire rang out again. This time, the shells landed closer to the Wannian County Government Office. Yun Chu could even see the black shells flying in the air like meteors.

The cards in Li Shen's hand fell to the ground.

Yun Chu asked Lu Zhaolin: "Are there any bad guests near our government office?"

Lu Zhaolin said, "Chang'an Post Station is nearby."

Yun Chu nodded when he heard this, helped Ji Wangshen pick up the cards from the ground and said with a smile: "It's your turn to play."

(End of this chapter)