The days of being a spiritual mentor in Meiman.

Chapter 1854 Madman’s Journey (58)

"People often make a mistake when it comes to techniques for gaining the trust of others." Nick said, holding up a finger: "Newbies always like to add, thinking that the more they explain, the more trust they can gain."

"But in fact, there are not many people with empathy in this world. It is impossible and useless for everyone to spend energy understanding the situation of others. Usually, empathy is the first time people meet strangers when they meet for the first time. The strongest."

"Out of vigilance and curiosity towards unfamiliar people, the instinct of social creatures will allow them to understand who the other person is as much as possible and determine how to get along with him. However, after a little familiarity, this instinct will It won’t start again.”

"Therefore, there is a saying in the agent industry called the golden 30 seconds, which means that if you do not gain the trust of a person within 30 seconds of meeting him for the first time, it will be difficult to completely gain the other person's trust. Trusted.”

"Coulson did an especially good job in this area." Natasha said: "He was able to become a senior agent of SHIELD all the way despite insufficient force value. He relied on his special talents. He is a watcher. An agent who doesn’t look like an agent.”

"He could be anyone, a neighbor taking out the trash, a police officer issuing a ticket, a social worker trimming flowers and shrubs, or just a passerby walking his dog. When he greets strangers, almost no one will suspect him, and I It won’t work.”

Natasha shrugged and said, "The more proficient an agent is in confrontation, the more tension there will be that is difficult to ignore. Just like the one in charge of sentry among the meerkats, we are too sensitive to the slightest disturbance. It’s hard for ordinary people to feel relaxed, but Coulson can always stay relaxed.”

"Back to the topic, ma'am." Nick brought the slightly off-topic topic back and continued: "In my opinion, Eric made such a mistake when he first met Tony Stark. When the time came, we didn’t lay a good enough foundation.”

"But it seems that at the beginning, I in the other universe trusted him." Stark said.

"Yes, but that is based on the fact that Eric is Tony's savior. In other words, he saved his life without even gaining deep trust. The performance within these golden 30 seconds It was a complete failure, but he didn't realize it."

Nick took another sip of wine and grinned at the heat. He turned back to look at T'Challa, who smiled at him and said, "Wakanda's specialty is pretty good, right?"

Nick smiled back and said, "That's pretty cool, man. I hope it doesn't mess with my brain. I'll continue."

"Then let's compare Schiller's performance when he first met Tony in this universe." Nick then analyzed: "What did Schiller do within the first 30 seconds of meeting Tony?"

"They said a few words," Stark recalled, "probably introducing themselves to each other?"

Nick shook his head and pointed out: "Schiller helped Tony take off the hood, and the first thing he did was make physical contact with the other party."

"In most cases, gentle physical contact is helpful to gain the other person's trust. A pat on the shoulder, a pat on the arm, or a touch of the elbow, especially when the other person is panicking, can be a good way to comfort others. mood."

"Then Schiller called out Stark's name. This was telling Stark that I've heard of you and that you are famous. It was essentially a gesture of acceptance."

"The group of people who kidnapped Tony did not regard him as a human being at all. They were too rough and had a sense of alienation from civilized society. But Schiller recognized Stark's behavior and brought Tony back to civilized society. This is the way of communication that Tony is accustomed to and likes, which can further comfort him."

"Then he showed Stark the most distinctive part of his appearance, obviously those gray eyes, which helped Tony construct his image in his mind."

"The fastest way to make others remember you is to symbolize yourself. Red hair, a rosy nose, and big feet are all significant enough features. This is the basis for establishing a three-dimensional image."

"And the best part is here." Nick took another sip of wine, and then said in a higher tone: "Tony instinctively began to question, suspecting that Schiller was sent by the kidnappers to supervise him, but what did Schiller do?"

"He did not express his goodwill. He clearly stated that he and the kidnappers were in a cooperative relationship to some extent."

"What's going on?" Eddie frowned and asked, "Wouldn't this make Tony wary?"

Nick shook his head and said: "As I said before, the most stable relationship between people is the interest relationship. Schiller's move is to emphasize to Tony that 'we are grasshoppers on the same rope'."

"He said he was a doctor and he came to treat Tony. He would be fine if Tony got better. He might also be in trouble if Tony died. This immediately put the two of them on the same front."

"You can't expect a person to resonate emotionally with you the first time they meet you. Common interests are often a necessary condition for establishing an early relationship. Only when interests are tied together can in-depth understanding be possible."

"Of course, Eric did this." Nick shrugged lightly and said: "After he rescued Stark, he drove him away. At that time, their lives and deaths were tied together, or they ran away together. Fall, or be blown up together. This is actually a good start, but he did one thing wrong."

"What is that?" Thor asked curiously. "He actually asked Tony to call Pepper." Nick spread his hands and said helplessly: "This is what I mean by saying that he is a complete amateur, relying only on talent and instinct, and has never learned theoretical knowledge. "

"When you and a person start to have entanglements due to common interests, if you want to work harmoniously with the other person for a long time, the initial period is very important, and the first step is to try to create a closed environment."

"It's not about creating a space where only the two of you are, but trying to get the other person to focus more on you, constantly involving his energy, and making him more interested either out of curiosity or inadvertently. Get to know you better."

"It sounds a bit like bird courtship." Eddie said with his elbow on the armrest of the sofa: "Spread out the bright feathers to attract the other person's attention, so that they can't look away, so they can learn more about you. advantage."

"I insist that humans are still members of the animal kingdom, and that human psychology and animal psychology have similarities." Nick nodded.

"Eric allowed Stark to pour his emotions into Pepper on the other end of the phone. He felt that he could express his understanding. Maybe he also thought that the relationship between Stark and Pepper was love. It doesn’t matter the friendship you want to build.”

"But in fact, human feelings are always exclusive. The feelings that can be projected to other people within a certain period of time are limited. If he uses other people as an outlet to vent his emotions, no matter what, you will only get more. few."

"So what Eric should do is to let the other party project all their emotions on him as soon as they establish common interests, because only in this way can the other party be more willing to understand him deeply and stay in the other party's heart. A more profound and three-dimensional impression, otherwise it will just be a chance encounter, a passing guest, what is the difference between a friend who has a fair and fair life?"

Stark thought it made sense, so he nodded, but he quickly realized: "Wait, isn't this how Schiller always deals with us?"

"In principle, it is like this." Nick shrugged and said, "But just like the difference between an apprentice and a master, what Schiller did was not very deliberate, so it was naturally not easy to be discovered."

Stark frowned deeply. He recalled Schiller's every move in the cave, but he did not grasp the key point. At this time, Natasha said: "The natural thing is that he will let you I feel like I got curious and insisted on asking about his past.”

The female agent pushed her hair behind her ears and said: "First, use an unreasonable fact to arouse the other party's interest. For example, Schiller initially said to Tony in this universe, 'I don't escape because I escaped here myself.' , human beings are interested in all kinds of unreasonable facts, regardless of whether there is danger hidden behind them.”

"Then say a fact that shocks the other person. For example, Schiller told Tony that he had a surgical license. This cannot be said to be unreasonable, but it is a bit surprising in this environment."

"This completely aroused Tony's curiosity." Natasha stretched out the five fingers of one hand and gestured, then tightened them and said: "After the impact of these two facts, anyone will I started thinking, why would an American doctor with a legal surgical license escape to a cave in Afghanistan?”

"So Tony asked, and Schiller threw out his next trap." Nick chuckled and said, "Schiller told Tony a secret."

"Sharing secrets is a necessary part of building a strong relationship. The more important the secret, the more people will feel that the other person trusts you. And what Schiller told Tony about his life experience is obviously a very important secret. After all, it involves a federal investigation. Bureau, CIA, military and a host of big shots.”

Natasha pursed her lips and continued: "At that time, it was too late if you didn't want to hear it. You asked yourself, and he already said half of it. Even if this may bring you the risk of trouble, if you do it now By interrupting him, didn't you take another risk and not hear the secret? Wouldn't that be a complete loss? "

Nick laughed lowly, obviously thinking of something, but after being glared at by Natasha, he restrained his smile and continued: "Of course, the trick to gain trust more easily than sharing secrets is to take the initiative to expose your shortcomings. Or strengths disguised as weaknesses.”

"For example, you can say to others that you are a little careless, but it actually means that you are generous and generous. You can say to others that you are sometimes too quiet, but it actually means that you are good at listening. You can say that you are articulate. It’s actually saying that you have good literary qualities.”

"The specific way of expression can be: first, talk about your shortcomings, but say that others have influenced you, and then start to praise that person's advantages in such aspects."

"For example, 'I've always been a bit sloppy, maybe I inherited it from my parents. As you know, my father is a very bold Texan. He has taught me since I was a child not to care too much about things and to be loyal when getting along with friends.'"

"Second, say that this is the evaluation given to you by others, but show the advantages of this direction in your speech."

"For example, 'My friends always say that I am too quiet sometimes. In fact, I am fascinated by what they say. They are all very good people. I still remember that time they said to me...'"

“Third, say it’s a legacy habit from a noble or professional job.”

"For example, 'Sorry, I'm a little concerned about the word you just said... I am a bit wordy and care about rigorous grammar. This is a habit left over from when I worked as a proofreader in a newspaper. I'm really sorry. '."

"Of course, these are all entry-level skills." Nick showed a mysterious smile and said: "The best trump card is of course the one used by Schiller."

(End of this chapter)