The days of being a spiritual mentor in Meiman.

Chapter 1608 The Way to Die

The kingdom of death is not the same as Hella's underworld. This is not a barren land, but more similar to the kingdom of dreams. There are fantasy dreams made up of various cosmic rule fragments. It may be in a weird black forest for a second. In the next second, he came to a dark city like Gotham. For order creatures, everything here is chaotic.

Human souls are not completely unconscious in the process of entering the realm of death. They will fall into a strange dream, usually their own memories of their own lives, and they will re-experience those impressive memory scenes in the dream fragments Once again, that is, the so-called revolving lantern.

But this process is actually confirming all the codes of this soul, so that the database can delete them.

For some reason, Schiller, who has died many times, experienced this loading process for the first time. He first fell from the darkness, and then felt the dim light. He followed the light and continued to fall, like a child soaked in amniotic fluid. Warmth enveloped him.

The sense of weightlessness was getting weaker and weaker, and Schiller felt that he had bottomed out.

Trying to concentrate, and then forcefully opened his eyes, Schiller suddenly found himself in a familiar church.

Just like the picture taken by a lens with a special aperture, there is a hazy and dreamy halo everywhere, and everything has no details, but it can evoke memories.

Schiller turned his head instinctively, and saw the tall cross behind him and the statue of Jesus with outstretched arms and downcast eyebrows.

Suddenly, a rush of footsteps sounded at the door of the church, and a figure rushed towards this side. The filter was broken in an instant. When Schiller came back to his senses, he saw Natasha stretching out her hand in front of his eyes. Shaking and saying, "Schiller, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Schiller turned his head and looked around. The scene was still a bit blurry, and even the outline of Natasha in front of her was not exact. Judging from the reflection on Natasha's pupils, she thought she should be It's just a vague human figure, if not for the clear voice, it's impossible to even tell the identity.

"We seem to have entered a video game." Natasha shrugged, looked at the surrounding environment and herself, and said, "This should be hell, right? It's much better than I imagined."

"This is not hell, at least not the hell of Mephisto. If the plan goes well, this place should be on the edge of the kingdom of death. Before long, we will penetrate the barrier and enter the real kingdom of death, and then become lingering ghosts there forever." echo."

"So, what's the matter with this church?"

"This should be a certain memory from my life." Schiller didn't appear to be in a hurry at all. He walked to the first row of the church and sat down in the seat next to the window. He patted the seat next to him and motioned for Natasha to sit down. .

"Well, this is the first time I die, obviously not as experienced as you, can you tell me about your plan now?"

Natasha sat next to Schiller, and the two of them sat in the first row of the church and stared at the huge cross in front of them, but the first sentence Schiller spoke was beyond Natasha's expectations.

"Sorry, I lied to you from the beginning. Although I am not a doctor, I was entrusted by a doctor. In the next communication with everyone, the purpose is to improve their mental health as much as possible situation."

"Is it Dr. Schiller who entrusted you?"

"Yes ma'am, but first I ask you to answer a few questions, how are you feeling now?"

"It's hard to say." Natasha sighed, pressing her elbows on her legs, leaning forward, staring at the checkered floor tiles in front of her that reflected the dreamy luster and said: "There is a feeling of exhaustion after being overdrawn, but it's hard to say Clear relief and relaxation.”

"Can you talk about it carefully?"

"It's more like exhausting all the strength, knowing that there is nothing to do, so just stay where you are and wait for death to relax."

"So, as we look further back, how did it feel for the two of us to wrestle?"

"I was drunk and didn't think much of it."

Schiller turned his head to look at Natasha and said, "Ma'am, we are not in the office of S.H.I.E.L.D., this is the realm of the gods that mortals cannot set foot in. There are no bugs, no record books, and I am not an agent to interrogate you." , I know you have the right to say any answer, but from a personal point of view, I hope you can be honest enough, because the situation has developed to the present, but it contains a lot of the fruits of my labor."

"You can really talk." Natasha stroked the hair on her forehead back with both hands. She did not mock Schiller anymore, but made a sincere evaluation. She found that Schiller was really good at impressing others.

"That's a bit too intense." Natasha finally replied.

"Why do you think so?"

Natasha took a deep breath, remained silent for a long time, and finally shook her head and said, "There's no need to talk about this, it won't work."

"Then, let's talk about my experience." Schiller did not criticize, but changed the subject, leaning on the back of the pew in the church and said, "You should have heard about my story from Professor Charles. Experience, when I was young, I was taken to the laboratory of the mysterious organization and received long-term training there."

The frequency of Natasha's blinking became slightly faster, but she still controlled herself from turning her head, and stayed in place silently.

"Their purpose is to train me to be a killing machine capable of creating chaos, so even if I am very talented, I must go through some professional spy training."

Schiller's voice began to grow more and more distant, like a celestial voice echoing on the horizon.

"One of the exercises intrigued me, and it was during that exercise that I discovered that I felt pain differently than normal people."

As if Natasha knew what he was going to say, her Adam's apple moved up and down undetectably, and the muscles in her neck twitched accordingly.

"Pain reflex is a person's most basic reflex, which comes from our body's self-protection mechanism. Pain is a reminder of danger, not only for external danger, but also for internal danger."

"If a person's arm is bitten by a wild animal, he will follow his instinct to retract his arm and run away. If a person has a stomachache and diarrhea, he knows that he may have eaten something bad, and he will adjust the diet in time to avoid poisoning. To some extent, in the process of human evolution, the more sensitive the response to pain, the easier it is to survive."

"But if what you need is a killing machine, not a person, the pain reflex is unnecessary and needs to be artificially screened and eliminated."

Schiller sighed softly, lowered his head and said, "My pain reflex is inherently weak, non-physiologically, it's more like mental abnormalities shielding part of the impact of pain."

"I see." Natasha said sullenly, "I cut your arm, but your first reaction was to think, instead of withdrawing your hand because of the pain."

"Although I considered this before doing it, I didn't expect you to be so exaggerated, and you are not a professional agent." Natasha said with a bit of complaint.

"So you're exaggerating as a professional agent, ma'am?"

"Well, you just want to pry my mouth open." Natasha shook her head a little irritably and said, "Yes, it may be more exaggerated than you imagined. I have no pain reflex at all."

The two fell silent. Schiller was shocked by this fact and didn't speak. Natasha waited for him to speak, but she didn't wait for a long time, so she didn't want to waste time and spoke directly.

"As you said, years of rigorous training have eliminated this part of the instinct. Even if I have only one breath left, I can still raise the gun, aim and shoot more stably than ordinary people, and my marksmanship is still very accurate."

"Three holes in my chest say yes, ma'am."

Natasha shook her head and said, "No, there shouldn't be three holes. If it was normal, you would be shot to death."

"Even if you are infinitely close to death?"

"Even if I'm dead." Natasha turned her head to look at Schiller and said, "The muscle reflex of my fingers will pull the trigger at the last moment."

Schiller was silent for a while, and then said: "When people feel pain, they usually pray, hoping that the gods can relieve them of pain, but the emotional structure of human beings is far more sophisticated than they imagined. If there is no pain, there will be no happiness."

"People's soul is a big tree. The part that grows on the ground represents all kinds of beautiful feelings, while the part buried deep in the ground is the pain or sickness that they don't want to mention."

"If you blindly remove the underground roots, or simply separate the upper and lower parts, the result will be that the happiness and other positive emotions in the upper part will gradually wither, and the whole tree will become a rotten tree."

"It is often said that it is not uncommon for some people to die at 30 and only to be buried at 70, to reconcile with the intensity of their craving, not because they got it, but simply never again The emotion keeps them wanting more."

"Some people call this state of breaking through the world of mortals, stability and calm, but again, I prefer to call it 'numbness'."

Natasha listened quietly without saying anything, then she turned her head to look at Schiller, and saw his increasingly blurred side face in the dim light of the colored windows of the church, like the undulating mountain shadow in the morning light .

"You've got all the answers you want." Schiller turned to look at Natasha and said, "Nick, Eric, Odin, Hella, you are all the same, you are not mentally ill, more than anyone People need to be more stable, you have found all the way out for your entanglement and distress, but the passion is no longer in the ordinary and stable days."

"It's just that, ma'am, your problem is more serious than them. The trauma of the pain-elimination training is not gone, it is still affecting you every moment, and your numbness is still growing, until one day, It will suck all the nutrients from the big trees on the ground, and then turn you into a walking dead."

Natasha remained expressionless for a while, then asked, "How do you know?"

"I feel the same way." Schiller leaned his back further back, and said with a long breath: "I have been trying to balance the sickness and the normal all my life. I didn't contain the sickness before, which led to madness. Then The doctor sealed my sickness and made me fall into a powerless and joyful numbness, and my tower and abyss are gradually being perfected in the process of this self-struggle."

Natasha swallowed, she didn't expect Schiller to analyze herself so deeply in front of her, and the female agent never thought that there would be one thing in this world that she needed to muster all her courage to do.

It's not even that hard, but it's harder than anything in this world, and that's opening up and being honest about how you feel.

"When you... when you cut me open like a fish, I felt an unprecedented intensity explode in my brain. I thought it was fear, but at the time I thought it was impossible, I I thought I had evolved this emotion a long time ago.”

Natasha smiled, and said as if half-joking: "Then I was shocked, because I actually felt pain. I haven't felt this way for many years. The training I received made me completely immune to pain reflex."

"It's not that I don't feel pain, it's just that after the pain is transmitted to the brain, the reflex nerves can't work. I can use my reason to control the movement of all my muscles without abnormal parts."

"This is the secret of my mission's high success rate. All the targets who wanted to exchange injuries with me came here earlier than me. They were waiting for me in hell."

(End of this chapter)