The star is legit but sick.

Chapter 723 From today on, I am called Pansi Daxian

The publicity and promotion work for "A Chinese Odyssey" has been progressing, and several trailers have been released.

Most netizens know that this movie is very long, so if you want to watch it in the cinema, you must be mentally prepared in advance.

However, the key plot of the movie has not been revealed, and it is still full of suspense.

In a small city in the south, Kevin Zhou was driving his family to a movie theater in the city.

Because of the May Day holiday, Zhou Kevin and his family came to this small city for vacation.

At his age, he prefers quietness the most on weekdays. He is no longer interested in many popular cities and tourist attractions, and instead finds them very noisy.

A small city like this with beautiful scenery and a pleasant environment has become his first choice for vacation.

Zhou Kevin has recently started studying the script of "Let the Bullets Fly".

The more he read the script of this movie, the more he liked it and the more interesting it became.

Zhou Kevin can't wait to go to the set and act with a group of movie stars, but unfortunately he can't do that now.

The crew of "Let the Bullets Fly" is still making preparations before filming, and Xu Ye is also preparing for a concert.

According to Xu Ye, after the concert he went to the set to start filming "Let the Bullets Fly".

No matter how anxious Zhou Kevin was, there was nothing he could do but suppress his anxiety.

So today, on the first day of his holiday, he brought his family to the cinema to watch "A Chinese Odyssey".

When this movie was being promoted, it was hard not to attract attention because the word "Journey to the West" was in its title.

However, in terms of publicity, Xu Ye's publicity and promotion team did not do anything messy, so as to avoid the situation where the audience had crazy expectations but you were unable to satisfy them at all.

Keeping the audience in suspense can generate a lot of popularity, but popularity itself is a double-edged sword.

Before coming, Zhou Kevin had already prepared himself mentally.

This movie about Journey to the West is definitely different from any Journey to the West spin-off movie he has seen before.

Zhou Kevin's son Xiaoyu is a senior in high school this year. He has no intention of entering the entertainment industry and is currently playing with his mobile phone in the back row.

His wife Jiang Qingqing was sitting in the passenger seat, searching for milk tea shops on her mobile phone.

Since you will be sitting in the cinema for three hours, you must prepare all the food and drinks. Even if you have to drink less to avoid going to the bathroom, you still have to have everything you need.

Jiang Qingqing chose a drink for herself on the mini program and asked, "Xiaoyu, what do you want to drink?"

Xiaoyu said: "A cup of fruit tea."

Jiang Qingqing asked again: "What do you want to drink, Lao Zhou?"

Zhou Kevin said casually: "I don't need it, I brought a teacup."

Jiang Qingqing didn't say much. She was already prepared. There would always be boring moments in a three-hour movie, so she could just go to the bathroom.

When they arrived at the cinema, Zhou Kevin walked in wearing a hat and sunglasses.

The audience waiting in the theater had no idea that the burly man who walked in was the movie emperor.

This is also the advantage of being in a small city. No one can recognize you if you just disguise yourself. In addition, Zhou Kevin was holding a thermos cup with a handle in his hand, so no one associated him with a star.

In the cinema, there were already quite a few young people waiting for ticket checking.

Zhou Kaiwen reminded: "Those who need to go to the toilet should go to the toilet."

Jiang Qingqing said: "I will definitely have time to go to the toilet later, it won't be a problem."

Zhou Kevin didn't say anything more.

After the ticket check, the three of them sat in a row of connected seats.

Soon, the lights went out and the movie began to play.

Zhou Kevin's expression immediately became extremely focused. This has become his professional habit.

After all, he doesn't watch movies purely for entertainment.

Jiang Qingqing took a sip of the milk tea, and then she suddenly felt like going to the bathroom.

But the movie has already started, so it wouldn’t be appropriate to go now.

"Forget it, just bear with it a little longer." She said to herself.

At this time, the main feature of the movie begins, and the first scene that appears is Guanyin Bodhisattva scolding Sun Wukong.

Tang Monk on the side spoke softly and incessantly.

"Everyone, please don't get angry. Getting angry will violate the precept of anger."

"The Moonlight Box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. What if it hits a child? Even if it doesn't hit a child, it's wrong to hit the flowers and plants."

For a moment, many young people in the theater started laughing.

It is still the familiar nonsensical style.

The Monkey King played by Xu Ye is also different from the Monkey King in traditional works.

However, after being exposed to so many nonsensical works, coupled with the previous spoof of Journey to the West in "Never Expected", most viewers did not feel uncomfortable with this.

When it came to the end, after Guanyin Bodhisattva put Sun Wukong into the Jade Bottle, Tang Seng said: "My disciple made a mistake, and as a master, I also have a responsibility. I beg you to let him live."

Guanyin said in a cold voice: "If I don't destroy him, I won't be able to explain to the Jade Emperor."

Tang Seng still spoke in that long-winded tone: "Please ask sister to tell the Jade Emperor that I am willing to pay for one life with my own."

After he finished speaking, Tang Seng sat cross-legged on the ground. He threw the nine-ring staff into the sky, put his hands together and said, "Namo Amitabha."

With the background music playing, the words "A Chinese Odyssey" appeared on the big screen.

Zhou Kevin frowned. The short passage just now had already established the image of Tang Monk and Sun Wukong.

In the end, Tang Seng sacrificed himself for his disciple, and the scene was a little touching.

Later on, the time went directly to five hundred years later.

Chun Sanshi Niang came to Wuyue Mountain, where there was an Axe Gang that specialized in robbing and looting. The leader of the Axe Gang was none other than Zhizunbao.

The actress who plays Chun Sanshi Niang is sexy and charming, and has a unique temperament as soon as she appears on stage.

While Chun Sanshi Niang was taking a bath, Zhizunbao introduced himself.

When the name Axe Gang appeared, many viewers in the theater were surprised.

“It actually has a connection with Kung Fu!”

Zhizunbao wanted to kill Chun Sanshiniang, but he was no match for her. What's more, he was hit by the Seven Injury Fist and was already injured.

An important clue appears here. Chun Sanshi Niang is looking for a person with three moles on the soles of his feet.

At night, the second in command brought smoke to Chun Sanshi Niang's room, and Zhizunbao had a dream.

In his dream he came to a cave full of water.

The Chinese people are quite familiar with the story of Journey to the West, and when they see this cave, they think of the Water Curtain Cave.

At this point, the identity of Supreme Treasure is actually about to be revealed.

The Supreme Treasure is Sun Wukong.

A voice in the cave asked him if he had found the three moles, but Zhizunbao had no idea what the three moles meant.

In the theater, some viewers felt strange.

"It's still a little hard to accept Sun Wukong like this."

"Wukong should not be a heroic character. Now he is just a bandit."

"Forget it, let's see again."

Later, Zhizunbao heard screams coming from outside. The second in command was being chased by a giant spider.

The ankle of Zhizunbao was entangled by spider silk. A group of gang members used torches to drive away the spider, but Zhizunbao's crotch caught fire.

The audience laughed non-stop throughout the whole process.

The director of "A Chinese Odyssey" is Stephen Chow, who is known for his nonsensical comedy style.

A new character also appeared, the White Bone Demon Bai Jingjing.

The two beauties are very pleasing to the eyes.

Afterwards, Zhizunbao shaved his beard, and Xu Ye's handsome face appeared on the big screen.

From Bai Jingjing's mouth, the audience also learned about the relationship between Bai Jingjing and Sun Wukong.

Zhou Kevin was stunned.

"Oh my goodness, Sun Wukong and the White Bone Demon are in love."

You know what, it feels quite thrilling.

Especially in recent years, some foreign films always like to cast ugly women for some reason, saying they are pretty monsters, but in fact they are not pretty at all.

But in our Chinese concept, female fairies must be good-looking. If they are not good-looking, how can they deceive people?

These two female fairies fit everyone's stereotype of female fairies: they are beautiful!

Afterwards, Patriarch Bodhi appeared, which was another subversion of the image in Journey to the West.

Zhizunbao thought that he could deal with the two monsters with the invisibility talisman. In fact, the second in command had been controlled by the monsters, and the invisibility talisman was thrown into the fire by the second in command.

Later, Zhizunbao appeared. He had underwear made of a fake invisibility talisman around his waist and a bow made of the invisibility talisman around his neck.

As for the second in command, she was wearing a skirt made of an invisibility talisman, and the shape of the skirt was very unique.

Chun Sanshi Niang waved her hand, and Zhizunbao's paper underwear caught fire.

Zhizunbao suddenly felt like he had lost all hope and lay on the ground, letting everyone step on his crotch to put out the fire.

Seeing this scene, Zhou Kevin only felt a chill in his crotch.

This is the pain that only men understand. But after the fire was out, Chun Sanshi Niang pretended not to see them, deliberately quarreled with Bai Jingjing, and poured a glass of wine on Zhizunbao's crotch, and the fire that was about to go out started burning again.

There was a burst of laughter in the theater.

Zhou Kevin's son Xiaoyu was not very interested in movies. He just wanted to play games at home and was dragged out by his parents.

Just at this moment, Xiaoyu also burst into laughter.

“This hurts too much!”

Zhizunbao gave his men a look, and they began to trample on the fire again to put it out.

After the fire was out, Bai Jingjing pushed the oil lamp over again, and it fell on Zhizunbao's crotch, and the flames started burning again.

With tears in his eyes, Zhizunbao looked back at Bai Jingjing.

The second in command said with regret: "Cut it off, it's all burnt."

Zhizunbao said seriously: "It's a little crisp, but it's better than nothing."

The car is going very fast, please be careful ahead.

The laughter in the theater never stopped at this time.

Jiang Qingqing was in a very dangerous situation. She wanted to laugh out loud, but she didn't dare to. Holding urine was a very painful thing.

It’s just that the plot of this movie has not yet found its interesting part. When it’s not funny, it just gives clues, and it feels like you can’t miss even a second.

Jiang Qingqing could only pray in her heart that a boring plot would come up soon to give her a chance to go to the toilet.

However, although the plot of "A Chinese Odyssey" is trivial, every plot is useful.

Later, the crowd used the Qiankun bag to catch the two goblins, but the two goblins ran out again.

In order to save his life, Patriarch Bodhi lied to two demons that Zhizunbao was Sun Wukong. In fact, Zhizunbao didn't know that he was Sun Wukong.

After all, the Supreme Treasure reflected in the magic mirror is just one person.

Later, Bull Demon King also appeared, and he also wanted to find Tang Seng.

The second in command also saw through the magic mirror that he was actually a pig's head.

At this time, everyone has arrived at the Pansi Cave, and Bai Jingjing has turned against Chun Sanshi Niang for Sun Wukong.

During the fight among the crowd, Chun Sanshi Niang accidentally used her aphrodisiac technique on the second in command.

The second in command said: "I shuddered, it was so enjoyable."

Chun Sanshi Niang was shocked and said, "You shuddered on me?"

A group of male compatriots in the theater were very angry.

"What virtue does this dead pig have!"

"Chun Sanshi Niang, why don't you use your aphrodisiac magic on me, I won't shiver!"

There is no way, the image of the Second in Command in the movie is really not that good, and Chun Sanshi Niang is really too beautiful.

Zhou Kevin was somewhat confused.

From his perspective, the current plot is still in the stage of laying the groundwork and has obviously not yet entered the whole.

Bai Jingjing likes Sun Wukong, but the person in front of her is not Sun Wukong, but Zhizunbao.

Even if this person is indeed the reincarnation of Sun Wukong, he is no longer the previous Sun Wukong.

What's more, the three moles have not been explained clearly to the audience.

"If the movie develops like this, then I must say that Xu Ye's movie is not well made." Zhou Kevin said in his heart.

However, the entire movie has only been going on for an hour, and he doesn't want to jump to conclusions.

But some audience members in the theater had already stood up.

Some viewers came to see the movie for Journey to the West, not for Xu Ye.

Those who are familiar with Xu Ye know about this nonsensical style, but there are still viewers who think, I want to watch Sun Wukong make trouble in Heaven, not watch Sun Wukong fall in love.

Zhou Kevin looked at this scene and could only sigh in his heart.

Later, Zhizunbao escaped with Bai Jingjing.

Bai Jingjing was deeply poisoned. When Zhizunbao reminded her that she would die if she didn't detoxify, Bai Jingjing said, "If you are not happy, it is useless to be immortal. If you are happy, it is enough even if you can only live for a few days."

Zhizunbao tells Bai Jingjing that he is not Sun Wukong, and Bai Jingjing says she will kill him.

But even so, Zhizunbao still confessed, because he didn't want Bai Jingjing to be thinking of someone else when she was looking at him.

Bai Jingjing burst into tears immediately, and while crying she kissed Zhizunbao. When they were undressing and about to get on the highway, Bai Jingjing stopped.

Xiaoyu felt very embarrassed when watching this scene.

No matter how old you are, it can be awkward to watch men and women kissing and taking off clothes while watching TV with your parents.

Zhou Kevin thought differently.

"Xu Ye, you are definitely using public resources for personal gain!"

He knew that the camera was borrowed and the two of them didn't actually kiss, but just starting to take off their clothes was exciting enough.

The subsequent plot is still tense.

Later, Zhizunbao was imprisoned in the Pansi Cave by Chun Sanshi Niang. When he was digging a tunnel, he found the Moonlight Box underground, which was left by the Pansi Immortal.

At this time, a gust of wind blew and sucked Zhizunbao into the dug hole.

Zhizunbao saw the scene in his dream, the Water Curtain Cave.

There is also a big golden stick in the Water Curtain Cave and a Vajra Ring on the stone.

The golden cudgel and the golden hoop both came out.

Guanyin's voice rang out.

As long as Sun Wukong mends his ways and puts on the Vajra Ring, he can restore his magic power and become the Monkey King.

"But from now on, everything in this world has nothing to do with you. You can no longer have any lust or attachment. You must devote your whole heart to the Buddha."

"You haven't become the real Monkey King yet, just because you haven't met the person who gave you three moles. When you meet her, your life will be changed."

The reply given by Zhizunbao was "You recognized the wrong person!"

At this time, the audience just took this sentence as a clue and didn't think much about it.

Later, in order to save Bai Jingjing, Zhizunbao began to use the time-travel ability of the Moonlight Box.

This scene was so thrilling that the laughter in the theater never stopped.

In the end, Zhizunbao finally rescued Bai Jingjing, but in order to stop Bull Demon King, Bai Jingjing and Chun Sanshi Niang gave the chance to escape to Zhizunbao and the second in command.

This time, when Zhizunbao used the Moonlight Box again, he found that it was already bright outside the cave and the moonlight was gone.

He looked towards the distance and saw a woman leading a donkey towards them.

This woman was none other than Fairy Zixia.

After Fairy Zixia came out, Zhou Kevin said in his heart: "Xu Ye is really good at taking pictures of his girlfriend, the pictures are so beautiful!"

At this station, Xiao Xu gives people the feeling that she is a fairy.

After Zixia greeted him, Zhizunbao said, "Don't barge into Pansi Cave."

Zixia laughed and said, "Do you think I can't read? It's clearly the Water Curtain Cave."

Zhizunbao looked at the words on the entrance of the cave, which read "Water Curtain Cave".

His expression suddenly changed.

At this time, the audience in the theater all looked surprised.

The next second, Zixia waved her hand and changed the Water Curtain Cave into the Spider Cave, and also snatched away Zhizunbao's Moonlight Box.

Zixia smiled and said, "I now solemnly declare that everything on this mountain belongs to me, including you."

"Me?" Zhizunbao asked doubtfully.

"Yeah, just like my mule, I'll give you a stamp."

Zixia waved her hand, and a puff of green smoke came out from Zhizunbao's left foot.

Zixia said calmly: "You are mine now. If someone bullies you, just tell them my name. From today on, I am Pansi Daxian."

Zhizunbao suddenly came to his senses.

"Pansi Great Immortal, five hundred years ago?"

This time he used the Moonlight Box to travel back five hundred years ago.

When he looked at the sole of his left foot, he saw three moles left by Zixia.

Suddenly, many exclamations were heard in the theater.

Zhizunbao took out the magic mirror and took a look. Then a burst of passionate music sounded. This piece of music was exactly the "Overture to the Small Knife Society".

What appears in the magic mirror is no longer Zhizunbao, but Sun Wukong!
At this moment, many people in the theater felt their scalps tingling!
Everything is back in shape!

The person who gave Sun Wukong three moles was actually Pan Si Daxian, the master of Bai Jingjing and Chun Sanshi Niang.

"This design is interesting." Zhou Kevin said in his heart.

All the previous foreshadowings were revealed at this moment.

Wait until the screen changes and switches to another scene.

Jiang Qingqing finally breathed a sigh of relief and took the opportunity to go to the toilet.

If I don’t go to the toilet, I won’t be able to hold it anymore.

(End of this chapter)