Siren Blade

Chapter 18 The Uncanny Valley
Taking my appearance alone, anyone would think that this is an ordinary person that can be seen everywhere, and my appearance is far from vicious or sinister.And the old man had such a nervous reaction to me, saying that he didn't recognize me, he must be deceiving himself.But his reaction was more than that. On the premise of recognizing me, the movement of his eyes and the tenseness of his posture were like a trained hunter who accidentally encountered a wild beast in the forest.It definitely didn't feel like he was about to jump over the wall to fight back, more like he was calmly calculating, if I suddenly attacked, what strategy he would use to subdue me in turn.This is not the normal reaction of a weak old man who encounters a serial killer on the street. Is he a warlock?

Stimulated by his reaction, I reflexively calculated my "hand".

Regrettably, the current me has the title of "Devil Li Duo", but I am actually quite weak.

My fighting strength basically comes from "it", now that "it" is dead, my strength is like a castle in the air.The same is true for this modified body. Although it still has very strong muscles, it is only "very strong" in the common sense range. It is not capable of outputting powerful power itself, but to better carry the power of "it" And reformed.Without "it" as its source, my modified body is like an engine without fuel.

It must be said that there is still a little bit of fuel left, and it is like the warm ashes left after it has been completely burned. You can still see the orange-red light emerging from the ashes after blowing hard, but it can no longer be burned. There is an open fire.

The Siren Blade is also in a state of being unable to summon.

The blue bird in the dream described the Siren Blade as "a weapon given to me by the monster", which is really good.I was able to summon that weapon out of thin air after I was supported by "it". Specifically, one day after I felt that I was almost used to the power of "it", I felt some kind of inexplicable feeling in my heart. "It's ready to come out", follow this feeling and make a move against the air, and that weapon appears for the first time.

Now the power supported by "it" is only the residual heat. It is understandable that the Siren Blade is mostly summoned in dreams, but cannot be summoned in reality.

...However, to be honest, I always feel that the existence of the Siren Blade is a bit inconsistent.

Specifically, under the premise of being supported by "it", I can do some other magical things, such as breathing even if I sink to the bottom of the water, or using my consciousness to gather moisture in the air.If "it" is a monster similar to a sea monster, then these abilities of mine are easy to understand.Strong physical strength is also, at least I have definitely experienced the process of transformation, and I can also feel the "fuel" sent from "it".But what about the Siren Blade?
Of all the power "it" gave me, only this ax exudes a strange vibe.Although the name does have a "siren" in it, it's actually my own name.And judging from the fact that "it" can no longer be summoned after it disappears, although it is indeed inseparable from the power of "it", there is always something intriguing.

When the old man was concentrating on confronting me, the child couldn't help but move around. While complaining about the old man's rudeness, he wanted to struggle to get away from the old man's hand holding his collar.

"Still moving around, don't move!" The old man shouted, but his eyes were still on my body, "There are murderers in the city recently."

"Murderer!" The child's eyes widened, but he was not afraid, as if a newborn calf was not afraid of a tiger.

The old man threatened: "If you run around like that again, you may be caught and eaten by the murderer."

This is clearly alluding to me.However, just saying that I am a "murderer" is really considerate to me, as if I am in the same echelon as those small villains who just killed one or two people.Against this background, my image in the hidden world looks benevolent.

The old man, who was suspected of being a warlock, dragged the child away. He stared at me closely from the beginning to the end, but he didn't say a word to me.This reminds me of the ghost stories and legends circulating in some places. People must abide by the rules of separating yin and yang in the wild. When encountering lonely ghosts, you must not talk to them, otherwise bad things will happen.There is such a clear distinction between me now and these people living a normal life.

I also left here, and continued to wander in the huge city like a lonely ghost, tasting the feeling of having nowhere to go.

The sun slowly descended on the other side of the city, and finally sank among the clusters of buildings.

It is also time to end.

I found an open space that is inaccessible, and I plan to end here, but I am sorry for the passers-by who found me by then.

Taking a deep breath, I raised my right palm, intending to input all the residual heat of "ashes" in my body into my hand, and then aimed at my forehead, and hit it hard.

In the past, if I just exploded my head, I couldn't die, but now I don't have such outrageous abilities.

However, just as I was about to make a move, various images from the dream appeared in my mind for some reason.

I want her to say I'm a hero too.

The movement was sluggish for a moment.

At this moment, I felt that my raised wrist was firmly locked by a force like a vice.

"What are you going to do!" A familiar female voice came from my ear.

Turning my head to look, the person who came was the blue bird, she came to my side at some time, staring at me with a serious face.

Although I don't know why she appeared here, it seems that my plan is impossible to continue.

Afterwards, we entered a nearby restaurant.The atmosphere has been very silent, as if there is a real weight on the shoulders, and at the same time a little awkward, most of the dishes are served and no one speaks.I noticed that she had changed back to the teal feather hair accessory, and wondered if I might use this to start the conversation.

Suddenly, Qingniao spoke, "I watched you by the side for a few hours before, and then your expression became more and more...you don't want to kill yourself, do you?"

"How many hours have you watched me?" I asked suspiciously, "Didn't you go to work?"

Her face froze, "ah."

"Are you following me?" I asked.

"No...no." She looked away guiltily, but the speech just now had completely exposed what she had done.Followed me for hours, is it her mission as an overseer?Or is she just caring about me?I'd be happy if it was the latter, but that's shamelessly wishful thinking.

After a while, she said, "The psychiatrist at the Bureau said something to me, so I just..."

She shook her head suddenly, and said viciously: "You, if you die on your own on the first day I am in charge of supervision, it will shame me, do you know that?"

"What did the psychoanalyst tell you?" I asked curiously.

She recalled a little, and concluded: "Simply put, if it was the original you, after you were acquitted, you would definitely go shopping first, like the streets, neighborhoods, etc. you lived in before. After you feel that you are almost done shopping , or after the sun goes down, I will [-]% choose a place where no one is there to kill myself."

As expected of a psychoanalyst from the Security Bureau, he analyzed my psychology and movements clearly.

That's why the blue bird will follow me after listening to it, in order to avoid embarrassing myself.

But there is a detail in her words that caught my attention, "—if it's the original me?"

"Now you probably won't kill yourself." She said, "or, after going through that dream."

"Why?" I asked.

"She won't tell me." She said helplessly.

It seems that the psychoanalyst felt that if he said it, it was like saying good things about people like me, so he probably would be a little upset.

I also understand that even if the blue bird didn't stop me just now, the ending will not change.When the scene in the dream flashed in my mind and hesitated for a moment, it was impossible for me to kill myself there.Because when I was really facing death, there was a very strong thought that glowed in the depths of my dark heart.Where the thought was, there seemed to be a familiar figure in white summer casual clothes who had just stepped out of the mountain path under the scorching sun, staring at me without saying a word.Just seeing him, I relaxed all my strength in a daze.

——Why can't it be me?
I have long since ceased to be that person, never could have been.Even so, if I must die, I still want to die on a more heroic occasion than in an inaccessible open space where after rotting, I would make anyone who happened to come across me vomit in fright.In other words, I just want to sacrifice on the way to save others.In a sense, this is also a "recycling" of my irretrievable life.

It was because I realized that I still had that longing and obsession that I hesitated.

"Stop thinking about killing yourself," she said, "I know you're feeling very uncomfortable, but you really don't need to blame yourself to that extent. You were just brainwashed by the siren and manipulated... "

"I have said it many times. I have not been brainwashed, let alone manipulated."

"I read the diagnostic report submitted by the psychoanalyst. The reason why you insist on telling everyone that you have not been brainwashed is not because you are really so sure, but because you do not allow yourself to believe that what you did in the past It’s all based on hypnosis and brainwashing.” She pressed her hands on the table, leaned forward, and stared at me vigorously, as if she wanted to examine my inner world through my eyes, “Do you think that if you even accept yourself? With that diagnosis, it’s natural to justify yourself mentally afterwards. The problem is, you can’t forgive yourself.”

"It seems that the psychoanalysts of the Security Bureau sometimes make mistakes." I sighed while evaluating.

Maybe I was really brainwashed - not only after I was arrested, but also repeatedly appeared in my mind in the past five years.

But what a mean thought that is.Whether it is controlled or not, it is my hands that kill.

She added, "Also, we have a basis."

"On what basis?" I asked.

She asked back: "Do you know the 'uncanny valley effect'?"

"Of course I do," I said.

One of the benefits of the information age is that even a dubious person like me who has no achievements in related majors may have seen some theoretical terms that sound very advanced on the Internet, such as the uncanny valley effect , Stockholm syndrome, post-traumatic stress disorder, etc., and Schrödinger's cat, double-slit interference experiment, uncertainty principle, etc., are terms that folk quantum mechanics experts and patients with secondary illness are very fond of.

The so-called uncanny valley effect refers to the phenomenon that people feel creepy when they see things that seem human but not human.

This phenomenon often occurs in robots with human appearance.

She continued to ask: "So, do you know why humans have the uncanny valley effect?"

"A robot that looks a lot like a human, but not quite like it, will make people instinctively suspect that it is not a living person, but a corpse?" I'm talking about the hypothesis about the uncanny valley effect.In fact, there is no unified explanation for the uncanny valley effect. Although there are many convincing hypotheses, there is a lack of convincing conclusions.This kind of thing is not uncommon in psychology. If physics explores tangible things, psychology explores intangible things. In this intangible field, sometimes even the standards of right and wrong are invisible.

"Warlocks have already come to a conclusion about it. Creatures that are not human have power far superior to that of humans, but deliberately have a human-like appearance-there is only one reason for this kind of thing, and that is to prey on humans." She said, "Since ancient times, human beings have been faced with the threat of things that look like humans but are not human, so they have evolved the 'uncanny valley effect', a reflexive psychological phenomenon that has yet to find a unified explanation in the normal psychological framework. This is all to let human beings know to run away quickly when they encounter something that looks like a human but not human. Human beings who don’t know how to run away quickly, their genetic factors have not been passed down in the end.”

She continued, "Why didn't you run away from the siren? Instead of running away, you hugged her actively. It's all because she charmed you with evil power. Deceiving your biological instincts and inciting your physical desires .It's purely a survival strategy of her creature, as if the pitcher plant's sweet fragrance attracts insects, which it then preys on and digests, making it its own nourishment."

I didn't respond to her for a while.

I thought, if "it" wanted to eat me, I'd be happy to do so.Listening to "it" chew me slowly, becoming one in a moist yet soft embrace.It would be reasonable to say that this overly abnormal thinking was implanted from the outside.

But it's hard for me to convince myself that this dark and viscous desire is not from my heart; on the contrary, if my ability to express words is good enough that I have a way to put my most unspeakable thoughts into words, then surely ——Maybe, even if it is rare, there will be people who resonate with me.In a place far away from civilization and society, in a karst cave where dripping water can be heard from time to time, hugging each other with that eerie and beautiful female body alone like a group of snakes at peace, just let the heart sink without thinking about anything After all, all the time——such weird desires with hard-to-explain motives must not be unique to me.

"I have to admit that the sea monster's mimicry is quite powerful, and most people may not be able to have the uncanny valley effect on her. Almost only those special groups whose awareness exceeds the normal range will have the uncanny valley effect on her." She said, "This This conclusion also applies to you. During the demon period, you had a perception far beyond that of ordinary people, but you fell in love with her sincerely, which is definitely brainwashed. Unless you are a one-in-a-million psychopath, Otherwise, there is absolutely no possibility of errors in the psychological analysis of the Security Bureau."

"What if I'm really that psychopath?" I asked back.

She took a deep look at me, "This is not like what you said. In your dream, you always thought that such an ultra-low probability event would not happen to you."

(End of this chapter)