Cross talk: There is no size on the stage, and a new grave is built under the stage

"Thank you for the applause. It's the day of the show again. Every time I see the audience, I'm very excited." On the stage, the actor said the opening speech as always, "Unconsciously, there have been several episodes of the Douxiaoshe."

"Yes! Time flies by quickly." Luan Yunping spoke to the side in a leisurely manner.

"But today we're going to say something different."

"say what?"

"This issue is special because the uncle is not here."

"Yes, maybe busy."

"And the principle of our cross talk is to talk about whoever is not around, so today we will talk about Uncle Yu's father's day!!"

Audience: "OK!!!"

When they heard that Uncle Yu's father was going to be mentioned, none of the following were unhappy.

Because they all heard the stories of Uncle Yu and his father, compared with traditional cross talk, this kind of story structure is more fun.

There was so much commotion at the scene, Qi Yuncheng didn't expect it standing on the stage, since he likes it so much, it's about to start.

At this time, Luan Yunping asked, "Where do we start?"

Stretching out two fingers, Qi Yuncheng said, "From two o'clock in the morning."

"Grandpa is a nocturnal animal."

"At two o'clock in the morning, Yu Qian's father, Mr. Yu, carried a shovel and robbed Dongling at night!!"

"Well, it's so powerful right from the start." Luan Yunping was a little surprised.

"I didn't need a shovel to dig it in. I just wanted a coffin, made of golden nanmu. This coffin was brought back by Mr. Yu as a family heirloom, and it has been used as a cabinet all these years."

"I just said how strange it was when I went home last time."

"The coffin was brought back and packed up, and it was set up. The old man was in a happy mood, packed his clothes, and went to the gym to pimp at three o'clock in the morning."

As soon as the audience was overjoyed, only Luan Yunping had a strange expression and stopped her, "Is this all plausible? That's not called pimping, that's called a back puller."

Qi Yuncheng nodded ignorantly, "I don't understand anyway, as long as Mr. Yu enters the gym, these people will know each other."

"Are you familiar?"

"Hey, this fat man!" Qi Yuncheng raised his hand and slapped him, then turned his head and said cheerfully, "Big man, practice hard.

Ouch, the boy's chest muscles are well trained. "

Qi Yuncheng suddenly patted twice, but said in the next second, "Master, I'm a woman."

Hahahaha!

Amidst the laughter, Luan Yunping complained, "I suspect he did it on purpose."

"What a lovely old man."

"It's so cute, either it has bad eyesight, or it's a hooligan."

"Let's practice." Qi Yuncheng turned to one side, and stretched his hands to practice the back puller. "The old man started to exercise, and he kept exercising until four o'clock in the morning when he had something to do."

"whats the matter?"

"Take a bath, old Yanjing people, that's what I like."

"That's true."

"The old man, who is a person of status and status, must wash his hair with water in the bath. What is a head water, but if there is one person who has gone down, he will not wash it, because he thinks it is dirty."

"Painful."

"So I have to go at four o'clock in the morning. When I get to the gate of Tsinghua Pool, this..." Qi Yuncheng came to the character show again, and pointed down slightly with his hand, "Pour some cold water, this won't work, and then some hot water."

Luan Yunping said: "Look, hot and cold spots are not allowed, how strict are the requirements."

"The water temperature is right, the old man let go, and the owner of the bathhouse opened the door to let the guests in."

"Well, this is to test the water for someone, not to take a bath."

Qi Yuncheng continued to praise, "The old Yanjing people are particular."

"What's the point?" Luan Yunping was speechless behind the table.

"It's five o'clock, it's time for breakfast, and I'm hungry after all the work."

"Yes, what to eat?"

"Have some of that large intestine sashimi."

"Good boy! Eat raw?"

"The pigs that are slaughtered now are all tied up, stepping on the pigs, holding a knife!"

Qi Yuncheng stepped forward with his right foot, pressing down hard, holding the folding fan on the table in his hand, ready to poke it down at any time, but turned his head and asked, "How about you, old man? Do you want to eat? Meal?"

Mr. Yu nodded: Yes! ! "

With the knife in his hand, Qi Yuncheng stabbed it down, "Pfft, the butcher slaughtered the pig and poured out the pig's intestines. Not all of them, but one end and handed to the old man."

Luan Yunping didn't understand here, "Why did you hand it to him?"

"The old man is holding this head, barking!!"

"Suck?" Luan Yunping suddenly realized that she didn't want to look at her partner's appearance, so she turned her face to the other side, "I've never heard of it. Sipping with intestines is not eating breakfast, it's eating pig feces."

Hahahahaha!
There was an endless stream of laughter below, and Guo Qiling sitting in the last row naturally couldn't help laughing. I didn't expect to be able to play together like this. Brother really likes to play together.

As for the second studio, Gao Feng's hair was a little bald, looking at the big screen, "It must be Yun Cheng's work."

"No, but Xiao Luan's cooperation is pretty good."

"That's fine, I'll add one point here."

The two were judging the score, and on the stage, the funny one looked at Pingmei, "It's not as disgusting as you."

"Nonsense, isn't that what you said?"

"It's breakfast at five o'clock, and it's six o'clock..."

"Sucked for an hour!" Luan Yunping held onto a sentence, and suddenly there was laughter from below, and I could imagine the scene of exerting force.

"Going home at six o'clock, the old man hired four maids to serve him, white chrysanthemums, pink chrysanthemums, green chrysanthemums, and red chrysanthemums."

"Why are they called so many names?"

"This is all the experience of the old man for many years."

"What went through to get these names."

Hahahaha!

Laughter once again guided Luan Yunping's words, and as soon as he said it, Qi Yuncheng was about to break his guard, and couldn't help being happy, pointing his finger at him, "If you want to talk again, it won't be broadcast."

"Just this part of our program has to be cut."

Qi Yuncheng was very helpless, always wondering whether his partner had become more and more happy with him in recent years, but that's right, the partner style in this life is completely different.

But they are recording a program, and the recorded program cannot be played all the time like a small theater, and it is funny to return to the topic.

"The old man asked the four maids to pull out his gray hair."

"Pull out the white hair?" Luan Yunping finally said her words.

"I'm more concerned when I get older. I'm afraid that there will be gray hairs. I can't tolerate any of them. The servant girl is standing here looking for them."

Qi Yuncheng performed vividly in his expression and posture. He put his hands on the old man's head to find the white hair. When he found it, he suddenly squeezed the thumb and index finger of his right hand. After pinching, he suddenly pushed forward with his left hand.

Luan Yunping was taken aback by this movement, and her voice became louder, "Push your head? I've never heard of someone who pulls and drags his hair and pushes his head. If you want your hair to grow longer, you still push it somersaults?"

"The key is that the four servant girls stand on four sides."

Next, Qi Yuncheng got busy. Behind the microphone, he stood in front, back, left, and right directions to pull out his hair and push his head. This scene was full of laughter.

"Master Yu is here."

Qi Yuncheng suddenly stopped, shaking his head from side to side, Luan Yunping shook his head when he saw it, "It's changed to a rattle."

"After pulling out all the white hair in a while, I looked in the mirror and saw that I was downgraded."

"Why are you downgraded?"

"Cheng Guo Degang."

Luan Yunping understood the matter, and admitted, "In an hour, I didn't pull out all my hair."

"At seven o'clock, the old man was beautiful. After eating, his gray hair disappeared again. It happened that the sun came out, so he went out to stand on the street immediately."

"Just wait for me, the old man is not in good health."

The laughter from the previous second hadn't completely settled down yet, and now it's coming again, not to mention other people, even Luan Yunping couldn't help it, and kept holding back her laughter, "The old man is so old, what on earth is he going to do?"

"No." Qi Yuncheng waved his hand, explaining clearly, "I'm not standing in the house, but standing on the street."

"That's called basking in the sun."

"Bask in the sun and take a book." Qi Yuncheng spread his right hand, palm facing up, reading with relish, "The old man stood at the entrance of the alley, shaking his head, for the thread-bound book."

"Yes, the four servant girls are here to pull out his hair again."

"Looking at it, I suddenly feel bad."

"how?"

"I'm sleepy."

"Yes." Luan Yunping agreed, "You're a tomb robber and a pimp, you got up too early."

"Let's go back to the cage and go back to bed at eight o'clock, but when I lie down, I don't feel sleepy anymore."

"Sometimes it does."

"I heard people say that eating croton before going to bed can help sleep."

Luan Yunping couldn't believe it, "I heard this from someone."

"The old man is really obedient. He fell asleep after eating crotons, and slept until nine o'clock when he opened his eyes... Huo oh!!!"

Qi Yuncheng suddenly made a big move behind the microphone, looking down as if he saw something extraordinary, and needless to say, he knew what it was.

I couldn't be happier.

Luan Yunping immediately stood aside, "It's disgusting."

"On this kang, my family lives on the loess high slope~~"

"You don't want to sing." Ping Fan was holding down desperately beside him.

"Wash up, wash up, it's time to go to work at this time, from nine to five."

"Yes! But where does the old man work?"

Qi Yuncheng exchanged glances with the audience below, because they were all stalks, "We all know this, Mr. Yu is the naval commander of the Menggu Kingdom."

"This is outrageous." Luan Yunping must have known this too, but she still had to rummage through things, "Is there a sea in Menggu? Just the navy commander?"

"The king of Menggu country said that as long as he finds someone, he will take office at that time."

"Okay, I have to be free for the rest of my life."

"I was hungry at work until twelve noon, so I called outside by myself."

"The old man is quite fashionable."

Qi Yuncheng put his hand next to his ear and said, "Hey, bring me a pizza. It will be delivered in a while, and the delivery man asked the uncle to cut it for you? It's still 12 yuan for eight pieces?"

"Ask how to cut it."

"Grandpa Yu is happy, cut eight pieces."

"Why?"

"I can't eat 12 yuan."

Hahahaha!

Although these things have been said before, it is still fun to say them again, and Luan Yunping's cooperation has always been good, "This is it, silly boy."

"After eating pizza, take a rest. After resting, I will take a nap at one o'clock. I need to drink some milk before taking a nap."

"Someone has this habit."

"Drink some pig's milk."

The more she said, the more outrageous she became, Luan Yunping had a weird expression, she looked at her partner and said nothing, and Qi Yuncheng also looked at him, "What's wrong? You have this expression."

"It's not good to drink cow's milk and goat's milk, but to drink pig's milk?"

Qi Yuncheng himself had a legitimate reason, "It turns out that the old man drank milk, so he didn't get hurt later?"

Luan Yunping: "Drinking milk and what harm?"

Qi Yuncheng: "Drink half of that cow and sit down."

Luan Yunping: "Did you drink it under the belly of the cow?"

Qi Yuncheng: "That's right, drink pig's milk while lying on the pig's belly, wake up, nap and sleep, and then drink with the little brothers."

Luan Yunping: "How many younger brothers are there?"

Qi Yuncheng: "After drinking the pig's milk and going to bed, I slept very comfortably. I slowly opened my eyes and woke up, looking for the radio."

"Oh, want to listen to the radio?"

The movements of his hands kept moving, and Qi Yuncheng continued behind the microphone, "Turn on the switch, adjust the channel, and the sound of the radio station rang out.

After a while, when the enthusiastic audience called, Mr. Yu was very excited and called with his mobile phone. "

"This is interaction." Luan Yunping held the words.

"Hello!!" Bending down, Qi Yuncheng talked to the other party with his mobile phone, "Is it me? Oh, it's me, thank you, but the call came in. I have been calling since I was young, and I am 81 years old this year. .”

"Hit for a lifetime?"

"I'm an old Yanjing, my surname is Yu, and my son is Yu Qian who talks about cross talk, and they all call me Uncle Yu.

Oh, Uncle Yu, hello, what can you do?

I want to ask, does that passion always start in the second half of the night? "

Hahahaha!

With a bang, the sound of joy in the entire small theater was almost unbearable. How could anyone who knew De Yun not know about this passage.

Even when something came out, Luan Yunping almost couldn't help it, even though it was the opposite, and at the same time, the atmosphere of the theater today was completely raised.

Everyone's smiling faces couldn't be stopped at all.

Be it young or old.

Because they know the jokes and learned the radio, but they never thought that they could be included in this, very unexpected and pleasantly surprised.

But their performance wasn't over yet, so they were only listening to the radio at two o'clock in the afternoon.

So Qi Yuncheng continued to tell the story of old man Yu's day.

Finally, it was eight o'clock in the evening.

"At eight o'clock, the old man had a whim and went swimming by the river."

"Still swimming at night?"

"Look." Qi Yuncheng admired him very much, "The old man is so powerful, with a colorful life, he called all the old ladies who danced in the square.

Come and watch me swim. "

"There's nothing to see here."

Qi Yuncheng stretched out his hand and kept beckoning, "The old ladies are all over, they watched old man Yu swim, they all sat down, old man Yu started to undress.

Naked! "

"Naked." Luan Yunping pointed at people behind the cross talk table, "It's in public."

Qi Yuncheng hooked his hands on his back, "It's not for being naked, but for showing them the tattoo on the back.

On the back of the old man, a hairtail was tattooed from the neck to the heel.

So he has to get naked. "

Here Luan Yunping frowned, and asked her own doubts, "Why are you all undressed, at least leave a pair of underpants."

"It doesn't look good to wear pants with fish."

"Hey, let's take it off."

As soon as Luan Yunping compromised, Qi Yuncheng continued to speak, "Old man Yu went into the water with a plop, and swam in the water, wow, wow, that's great, he's alive and well."

"That means good technique." Luan Yunping said slowly.

"But every time I swim, I have to be copied by someone with a net."

"Back tattoos are too real."

"Filling it made old man Yu very tired, and when he turned around and walked to the shore, he found that the old ladies had also left, not looking at him, not playing with him.

Feeling disheartened, let's go home and take a rest, and lie on the bed at nine o'clock when we get home, Mr. Yu closes his eyes first, and goes through the memories in his head. "

Luan Yunping took a deep breath, combined with the jokes said all the way, "This memory is enough to look at."

"I robbed a tomb today, pimped, took a bath, ate large intestine sashimi early, slept on crotons and went back to the cage, it's beautiful."

"What's so beautiful about this, let's think of something else."

"Anyway, it's a memory like this. It's very exciting to think about it."

Luan Yunping looked at Qi Yuncheng seriously, and said, "Can this be exciting?"

"I can't sleep. I took a sleeping pill and went to bed. I finally fell asleep. I slept soundly."

"This day is over."

"Suddenly!" Qi Yuncheng changed his words, and his tone quickened, "At two o'clock in the middle of the night, Mr. Yu jumped up from the bed like a carp."

"What is this for?"

"Passion always starts in the middle of the night!!!"

"Go to hell!"

Hahahahaha!
With the sound of laughter and words, the cross talk between the two actors came to an end, and at the same time, many people slapped their thighs and laughed.

Reasonable, unexpected burden.

"I just said why I got up in the middle of the night, I can't forget it, old man."

"The old man had a more wonderful day than others in a year."

"Busy and fulfilling day! I'm so happy."

"It's only Qi Yuncheng who can think about these things, but it's really fun. Is there another version next time? Mr. Yu didn't just do these things."

"Maybe, anyway, we can make a series."