ball at foot

Zhang Yuan hesitated for a while. When he was inquiring with people, he heard that the content of psychological counseling cannot be asked casually.However, he couldn't help his curiosity, so he said, "Do you think that psychological consultation is very helpful to yourself?"

This topic made Zhao Yaning silent. Zhang Yuan saw that his expression was wrong, and wanted to change the topic, but Zhao Yaning said at this time, “Brother Zhang, do you think I am a particularly hypocritical person?”

"Hypocrisy? Where does this come from? You have a lot of problems, but basically none of them have anything to do with hypocrisy, right?" Zhang Yuan asked a little strangely.

"But I felt this way after talking with Mr. Leuer. There are many things that I didn't notice myself, but he dug them all out for me. Sometimes when I think about it, I feel that I am very hypocritical .”

"What's there, let's talk about it." Zhang Yuan also became interested. [

"You still remember, I always wanted to help the national team to achieve some results," Zhao Yaning told about his experience, "I think I am a patriot no matter what, but Mr. Leuer said, I am not at all. Patriotic, he said that what I did had nothing to do with patriotism."

"This grandson is farting." Zhang Yuan immediately gave his own answer, "If you say that you have other problems, I might believe it. But patriotism is still doubtful? You are like this, If it is considered unpatriotic, then if I am like this, should I just pull it out and charge me with treason? What a fart."

Zhang Yuan waved his hand, trying to dispel the non-existent stench in the air. In this regard, he never doubted Zhao Yaning's character.If it is said that Zhao Yaning has other problems, Zhang Yuan still believes it, but on the issue of patriotism, Zhang Yuan can’t wait to smoke Zhao Yaning. Why would anyone say that he is not patriotic?

Zhang Yuan's emotion made Zhao Yaning smile wryly, but he continued.

"Mr. Leuer said that the reason why I always want to achieve in the national team is not because I am patriotic, but because I lack a sense of identity." To be recognized by other people, especially those who used to look down on me, that's why I work extra hard when I play for the national team, and I especially want to achieve results. He said that I do this because I have never been recognized by others. Since I was a child, I have always dreamed of entering the national team, but I have been banned all the time, so I have always lacked recognition from this aspect. Now, I have this opportunity, but But he is always unwilling to be satisfied, and he will not stop until he is the best in this area. He said that this is the same as the kind of person who was not full when he was young and hungry when he grew up."

"Does this grandson know how to use analogies? Can't he find a better example?" Zhang Yuan scolded, "Do you think what he said makes sense?"

"I don't know. Some of the things he said hurt people and made me feel so selfish." Zhao Yaning said with a wry smile. , because all kinds of criticism and discrimination I received while living in Europe made me feel proud. I wanted to become famous, to be known by everyone, to be respected by everyone, and to be recognized by everyone in society. Me. He also said that the reason why I want to get ahead in the national team is because I was rejected by the national team, expelled from the sports school, and abandoned by the entire Chinese football world, so I always want to step on them all in order to be able to Satisfy my inner desire to be recognized."

"I think what he said is quite reasonable." Zhang Yuan nodded and said, "You are not a saint, but you are so stubborn in this matter, it would be strange to say that you have no selfishness. If you want to talk about it, step on those people Under the feet, not only you have this idea, but I also have it. Not only do you want to step on it, but you also want to crush it a few more times, so that it can be crushed by him. What he said is also reasonable, a little bit wise. What else did he say? "

"He also said that the reason why I play football is extremely restrained, and even my life is extremely restrained, because of the psychological shadow produced by the harsh training environment in the sports school when I was a child. When I was in high school, I was afraid of being expelled. When I played football, I always pursued perfection too much and pursued not making mistakes. After a long time, I always subconsciously followed the rules and did not dare to violate any regulations. He said that I do not seek merit, But the idea of ​​asking was formed at that time.”

Zhao Yaning's words made Zhang Yuan fall into silence. After a long while, he nodded and said, "That's right, you really can't let go of playing football. You are obviously very capable, but when you play football, you always look like you are restrained, and you shoot a few kicks So what? What happened to the rumors? You are at this age, don’t just think about how to play football.”

But this is easier said than done, and Zhang Yuan himself knows how impossible it is for Zhao Yaning to change the habits he has developed since childhood.From childhood to adulthood, because he had no money to take care of the relationship with the coach, Zhao Yaning always had to work harder and harder than others when playing football, and in the game, he also had to be extra careful and hardworking, except for a little If you make a mistake, someone may find an excuse to take away the main position.Growing up in such a situation, how could it be possible for him to boldly try various moves, shoot wildly in the game, or always pursue beautiful through balls?

What is more difficult to change than football skills is human character.

"He also said, I'm an ostrich." Zhao Yaning remembered what the psychiatrist said, "He said, my mentality is an ostrich mentality. I have been playing football abroad for a long time, and I know how real professional football should be played. Yes, I also know that many problems in China are not simply a person's problem, or that I can easily change it. But I know many dark sides of society, but I always hope that everything is pure white as I hope Transparent. I know that there are many shady scenes out there, but I would rather turn a blind eye and stick to my own opinion. I know that it is impossible for me to change the world by myself, but I still want to try hard ..."

"You can tell him everything." Zhang Yuan couldn't help but said.

"Mr. Loyle is a professional counselor. He guided me and said it unconsciously. You should go to him when you have time. It will be good for you."

"I don't have that spare money, let alone that spare time." Zhang Yuan immediately refused, "And what's the big deal? Young people are like this when they first come into contact with society. They always feel that everything is pretty good, even if they have gained knowledge , It’s possible that you won’t be able to turn your head around for a while. You are a stubborn species, so it’s inevitable that you will be like this. But it’s good to realize it, and it’s not too late to change now.”

"I don't want to change it." Zhao Yaning responded lightly.

"Are you on the edge again?" Zhang Yuan smiled wryly.

"No, I really want to change some things." Zhao Yaning shook his head, "What he said is indeed right, there are many dark things there, no matter how ostrich I am, it's useless to pretend I don't know. But I After thinking about this problem, what I need is not to close my eyes and pretend that the sky is blue, the grass is green, and everything is beautiful. But what I want to do is not to completely follow the darkness and become Darker than them, as bastards as them, as disgraceful." [

"What I have to do is to recognize this darkness clearly, and keep myself clean in the darkness. It's like there is mud on the ground. I stepped on it before and pretended not to know it, but what I have to do now is not to push hard Jump in and get covered in mud. I'll find a way to get around them. As long as I keep my eyes open, I can go far in the dark, even until dawn."

Zhang Yuan listened to his words, and did not sigh until he finished speaking, "Since you are willing to tell me, then I will tell you what I think of you. Brother, you are a good person, really nice. But Sometimes you are cute and silly. Sometimes I worry about you. With your temper, what would you do if you lived alone in society? If God didn’t reward you with this skill, how would you survive? ?”

"I don't know, and I haven't thought about it." Zhao Yaning told the truth, "Mr. Leuer said that my thoughts are sick. I think everything in this world is too dark because I have been unfair. treatment, so I always feel that others treat me badly. Because I feel that society is dark, I avoid it and hide. I like training and playing football, because when I play football on the field, those dirty people It's hard for things to get in, and I'm dealing with a clean environment."

Not necessarily, Zhang Yuan said in his heart, but did not refute.He knew that Zhao Yaning didn't like to compromise on this issue.

"I thought about it a lot after the counseling last night, and I even cried once." Zhao Yaning said softly, "I never realized before that I am actually a very hypocritical and timid person. I want Lots of things, honours, victories, fame and, of course, money, but I never dared admit it. I said I wanted to be on the football field, in life, in every way, for my parents, for the ball team, to contribute to the cause of football, but in reality, I did nothing."

"It's good to have that kind of heart." Zhang Yuan could only comfort him.

"No, not enough." Zhao Yaning shook his head, "I choose the path by myself, so I have to walk by myself. I don't want to complain about my strength, I need to grow up by myself, so that I have enough strength to bear everything."