Rebel Demon King

Chapter 465 Survival in Oblivion
When Shen Youyi sat up, he found himself lying on the sofa. There was a box of alprazolam tablets (Talium) on the coffee table. The "Dinner at Homesickness Restaurant" that he bought yesterday fell to the ground. The simple strokes of the European-style coffee shop and the contour-like curved lines of the dark wooden floor form a strong contrast, which makes people feel a little dizzy.

Shen Youyi bent down to pick up the book, and glanced at the girdle under the cover, on which was written in red words: "Families sitting at the same dining table are often separated by a long distance. Return to the long-lost family."

The orange eaves on the cover are very red, like the light of a match in the dark. This gorgeous color ignited a part of Shen Youyi's memory. She stared at this sentence for a moment, trying to remember something, but she couldn't recall it at all. Remembering when she read the book yesterday and what it was about, her memory seemed to have disappeared.

However, Shen Youyi wasn't surprised by this, and it wasn't the first time this happened. This kind of situation had lasted for several years, and she was already used to it.

Shen Youyi stopped doing useless work, put the book on the coffee table, picked up the phone that was about to run out of battery, saw that it was getting late, quickly connected the phone to the charger, and then went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth
In fact, this kind of short-term memory loss occurred when she was in high school, but it was not frequent and did not affect her life too much. She always thought it was the effect of drugs, but Shen Youyi didn't remember herself very well. When do you occasionally need the help of drugs to sleep, especially when it's raining.

After Shen Youyi finished washing, he cracked an egg casually, mixed it with milk to make egg liquid, fried two slices of egg toast, added some jam, and served it with a cup of yogurt to complete a fairly delicate breakfast.

When she walked out of the house, Shen Youyi couldn't help but look back at Cheng Mo's secret base. It was a bad experience for her last Thursday. She didn't have the nerve to call Cheng Mo on Saturday and ask him to come over to her Discuss things about novels.

Not only that, whenever she thinks about what happened at noon that day, Shen Youyi's face turns red, so much so that when she is in class, her eyes will subconsciously avoid Cheng Mo.

Shen Youyi felt that he was a little strange. Although some accidents that happened later that day were really embarrassing, Cheng Mo was not only his student, but he was still a very rational and intelligent child. Although his body had some changes, it was normal. She can also clearly feel Cheng Mo's restraint and sense of proportion. He is trying to avoid contact with her, so she shouldn't pay too much attention to it.

However, every time she recalled that sunny noon, she would think of the feeling of watching "Norwegian Wood" for the first time when she was in junior high school.

At that time, "Norwegian Wood" was a pornographic novel that was banned for junior high school students, but "Norwegian Wood" was too famous, so she secretly bought a copy, but she didn't dare to take it home. It can be hidden in the interlayer of the schoolbag, wrapped in the cover of the Chinese book at school, throwing the Chinese book in the desk, and deliberately mixing "Norwegian Forest" disguised as a Chinese textbook between the textbook and the exercise set.

She didn't sleep well that night, and stayed up until twelve o'clock when her parents also entered the room. Then she tiptoedly took out the "Norwegian Forest" covered in the "Chinese" cover from her schoolbag, and hid in the bed to sleep. Peeping with a flashlight.

Shen Youyi remembered that when she saw the XX description of Watanabe and Naoko, she was sweating profusely, maybe it was because of the heat, maybe it was because the bed was not ventilated, it probably didn’t matter what the reason was, in a word, she held her breath. Breathing and reading word by word, my heart was trembling with fear, my face was flushed, and the slightest disturbance outside was like thunder.
After reading that paragraph, she seemed to be exhausted, turned off the flashlight, hid the book under the pillow, closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but the pictures drawn by Haruki Murakami in words, the dark room, and the wet rainy night turned over and over in her mind.
and some cold comfort
After that, she read more and more books, such as "Lady Chatterley's Lover", "Snow Country", "One Hundred Years of Solitude" and "Paradise Lost", etc. These are more naked than the words and sentences of "Norwegian Wood" After reading the book, I didn't feel any heat in my body, but felt a little bit cold emotionally.

Later, when she watched "Abandoned City" and "Golden Era", Chinese male writers wrote these clips more directly, and the actions sometimes surpassed the details. Boys often read them as pornographic books, but she felt sad when she watched them. People can't have longing at all, and the feeling of body and soul shaking that she saw "Norwegian Wood" for the first time can no longer be found.

until noon that day.

This made Shen Youyi feel ashamed and ashamed, so she decided to keep a distance from Cheng Mo, even though she was sure that nothing would happen between the two of them.

It was almost seven o'clock when Shen Youyi arrived at the school. She drove her little mini along the main road slowly towards the parking lot. A huge graffiti filled her eyes like the morning sun jumping over the horizon.

The difference is that the sun uses extremely dazzling light, but this graffiti uses gorgeous colors.
At this moment, Shen Youyi was a little lost, and slammed on the brakes. Although she was driving very slowly in school, and she was wearing a seat belt, she still wobbled in the car, but she didn't care at all, but her eyes were a little hollow Staring at the giant graffiti.

She couldn't describe the shock at this moment in words.

No matter what kind of wall it is, whether it is the wall of the teaching building, the wall of the office building, or the wall of the factory, the wall is the wall, thousands of walls will not leave any memory for people, but when this When other things are added to the wall, such as murals, sculptures, inscriptions, or graffiti, it will be sublimated immediately. It is no longer a simple wall. As a carrier of artwork, it is endowed with a deeper meaning.

This is the case at the moment, this huge graffiti shows incredible colors under the hazy sky, as if it has been given life
Shen Youyi forgot to continue to drive forward, her Mini stopped in the middle of the ramp, and in her vision was a half-body woman, this half-body is not the upper and lower body, but the left and right, the left is not a half-body The body is made up of skeletons, but the gaps in the skeleton bones are filled with butterflies of various colors. Shen Youyi seems to be able to see the overwhelming butterflies rising from her body, forming a tornado in mid-air, blowing the gloomy sky to the sky. Burst a hole.

Shen Youyi couldn't help but think of the painting she hadn't seen last week. Although she didn't see it, she heard Cheng Mo describe it, and it seemed to have the same composition, except that the other half was a rotting fish.

But today's half is the skeleton, the skeleton is not surprising, what is admirable is the butterfly that fills the gaps in the bones, like an imaginative and exquisite text describing lust, conflicting, contradictory, estrus but And disgusting—like lust itself.

When Shen Youyi saw this huge graffiti, he felt a splitting headache, as if he was recalling a very important thing, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember the pain and entanglement.

"Why should I go back to Changya to teach?" Shen Youyi was a little puzzled. When she was in college, the counselor seemed to persuade her to take the postgraduate entrance examination, and then tried to stay in school, but she refused, but why did she refuse?
Shen Youyi tried her best to search in her memory, but she found that there seemed to be many doors in her mind. When she walked to the door, some doors could be opened, but some doors could not be opened at all. She lacked a crucial key. The key, Shen Youyi rubbed her temples, trying to force open the door, when the horn sounded at the back, she subconsciously looked in the rearview mirror, only to realize that she was still stepping on the brakes and stopped the car on the road central.

Shen Youyi hurriedly put her foot on the accelerator, and quickly drove the car up the hill. She told herself not to think about those lost memories, but the huge graffiti still lingered in her mind.

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When Cheng Mo arrived at the school, the graffiti had caused a sensation in the whole school. The whole school had exploded. Everyone was discussing about the graffiti. However, although the graffiti this time also has a naked body, it still has a strong sense of art , it doesn't look weird or pornographic, it's a work within the understanding range of ordinary people, so there are relatively few negative comments.

Except for the students in class (9) of the second year of high school, people in other classes did not connect this graffiti with Shen Youyi. After all, many people have never seen the chalk drawings that appeared in class (9).

The focus of everyone's discussion was how the other party completed such a beautiful and huge graffiti overnight. Many people thought that it would be better if the school didn't deal with this graffiti, because it was too shocking.

Changya’s post bar was also flooded by posts and comments about the painting. Some bored people posted photos of chalk drawings that appeared in class (9) to the post bar, and speculated that the graffiti on the walls of the teaching building and It was the same person who made the chalk drawings in Teacher Shen's class, and things tended to get worse.
The school responded very quickly. First, they hung more than a dozen banners to cover up the graffiti. Then, during the exercise between classes, the principal Wu Lei issued an announcement through the radio in front of the teachers and students of the school, saying that I have a certain amount of evidence, and I hope that if this incident was done by the students of this school, I will surrender myself and talk about it. If no one admits that I did it tomorrow, I will call the police to deal with it.

This is completely different from drawing chalk on the blackboard. It can be said that it is destroying public property. If this kind of situation is serious, not only compensation, but even imprisonment.

Cheng Mo naturally doesn't take this kind of threat seriously, what he cares about is what happened to Mr. Shen in the past.

Cheng Mo knows that the vast majority of mental illnesses are caused by family reasons in childhood. If you want to understand "dissociative identity disorder", you must first understand "split".

In fact, each of us has such a psychological process. "Splitting" is a natural psychological process, manifested through people's different thoughts and attitudes, and manifested as a series of experiences and symptoms.

Often, we experience dissociation mildly through daydreaming about being someone else or driving home on autopilot, but some dissociation manifests itself through forgetting, and some dissociation may be more severe. Stronger, but the vast majority of people do not reach the point where they can be called "dissociative disorder".

But there are also many people who have more severe symptoms, including splitting into various identities or developing different identities in the brain. These are often caused by being unable to escape or traumatic experiences. Their brains instinctively split into many different identities. .

Children are the most prone to this symptom, and they often use dissociation as an effective solution to severe physical and emotional distress.

That is to say: schizotypal disorder is a very effective survival skill because it allows those traumatic messages to be disconnected from the information in everyday life, and the traumatic messages are kept outside the center of consciousness, away from their present moment. Awareness until the person is strong enough or wants to be able to face the experiences.

In fact, most of the births of multiple personalities are for "self-protection". For example, "24 Billys" that Cheng Mo is watching these days, the protagonist Billy has been beaten and threatened by his stepfather many times since he was 8 years old, so Severe mental illness developed.

After Billy's first suicide attempt at the age of 16, his main personality was protected by other personalities and "sleeped" for seven years.

His father committed suicide and his stepfather abused him in every possible way. On the one hand, Billy desperately longed to escape from the world. On the other hand, his survival instinct came to comfort and protect him. These two forces intertwined and tore Billy to pieces, resulting in a There are as many as 24 personalities.

His body is occupied in turn. When Billy closes his eyes, Reagan, the guardian, will come out to fight off the abuser, and David, the 8-year-old bearer, will cry. The clown Leigh, the workaholic Mark and other personalities.

Billy, who is splitting up, reveals his own talented side.Several of the personalities have a talent for painting, and can even sell for a good price.Escape master Tom is good at landscape oil painting. Aaron's pencil drawing "Christine" has a good sketching skills. Aaron and Danny collaborated to complete "Noble Catherine", which is mysterious and elegant.

"24 Billys", a documentary novel with split personalities, can be described as the pinnacle of psychological documentary.It records a total of 24 personalities in Billy in detail, and these personalities are not only different in personality, but also in IQ, age, nationality, language, gender and other aspects.

Therefore, the human heart or soul is really bottomless and elusive. It is probably difficult for ordinary people to imagine such a situation where one person splits into 24 people.
Cheng Mo knew that the development of this disease was not a good thing, and he could not ignore it, so when he learned through Shen Mengjie that "Shen Daoyi" actually died when he was born with Mr. Shen, he made it clear that he had to help Shen Youyi.

To be precise, multiple personality is not a mental illness, it is a psychological disorder.The split personality is not a brand new individual, but a memory that a certain part of the main personality does not want to have.

This memory was deliberately separated by the main personality and developed independently to form a so-called new personality.

The way to treat multiple personalities is to fuse the split personalities with the main personality to make Qi stable.In essence, the main character has re-accepted his own memory and filled up the missing period of time.

And if you want the other party to recover, the first thing to do is to give the other party a full sense of security, but it seems that Shen Daoyi doesn't trust him, and Shen Daoyi should do so many things for a purpose, but Cheng Mo doesn't know that Shen Youyi once What happened, there is no way to guess Shen Daoyi's purpose.

Cheng Mo guessed that even Teacher Shen himself would not remember it, so it would be meaningless to ask her, but Cheng Mo was not without clues, at least he knew it must have something to do with the "teacher-student relationship", otherwise Shen Daoyi wouldn't be like this Obsessed with drawing on this theme.

So Cheng Mo entrusted Bai Xiuxiu to help find out what happened to Mr. Shen and Mr. Shen’s family, and he bought and read all Mr. Shen’s father’s novels. When he received Bai Xiuxiu’s reply on Wednesday, he was a little confused. be surprised.

What Bai Xiuxiu told him was very similar to a novel written by Shen Ping called "Secret Passage". It seemed that what happened to Shen Youyi was beyond his expectations. The teacher will split the sub-personality
(End of this chapter)