the president's wife

Chapter 436: Tired of supporting "An Ran..."

Cheng Hanlei waited for a long time, but An Ran did not respond.

"Ok?"

The voice is a little hoarse.

"what happened to you?"

Cheng Hanlei asked worriedly...

An Ran was a little tired as if she was overstretched, her body slid down limply, she sat on the ground and leaned there.

"Han Lei..."

The voice was full of helplessness.

"safely."

Cheng Hanlei's heart clenched when she heard An Ran's voice that she hadn't heard for a long time.At the age of 16, when Murong Xue found the school, she also called her name in such a helpless voice on the phone.

"Han Lei, I messed up everything. I thought it was best for them to hide it. I just didn't want to let them down. They were so eager for children, and I didn't want to give them hope and let them down. I thought about it. Tell Qiu Ze, but I am afraid to see his disappointed expression, but in order not to make me feel guilty, he shows an expression of indifference."

"Marrying me, he has been putting up with me. I already owe Qiu Ze too much, and I really don't want Qiu Ze to swallow the bitterness alone because of my fault. Han Lei, what I feel most guilty about in this marriage is Qiu Ze retreated himself into the dust because of my relationship. If my heart is hard enough, I can pretend not to see it. But, I can't. Therefore, seeing him suffer is also painful for me. Seeing him trying to cater to me And for everything I did, I was even more saddened.”

"I really want to respond to him, I really want to drop everything in the past and fall in love with Qiu Ze. But I can't control my heart. I know what Qiu Ze wants, just a word from me, he can have everything The world. But, I can't say that word of love. I can't lie to him, to him who loves me so much."

"I don't even know if it was a mistake to choose to get married at the beginning. Han Lei, I was really afraid. I thought that after four years of precipitation, I could face Shangguan Rui calmly. I could calm down The water draws a boundary from him, but the calm on the surface can't hide the waves in my heart. In this life, I fell in love with the man at first sight. I can't let go, really let go. I can't lie to myself, in four years I have hoped countless times that he can get a divorce and find out that Ozawa and I exist."

"I have waited for four years, and I have been looking forward to it in my heart for four years. He really knows the existence of me and Ozawa, but he is still the same him four years ago. When he was 16 years old, he could foolishly not ask for eternal love. I don’t care that he has a fiancée, and I just want to be with him for one more day. But people’s hearts are always not satisfied. I thought I could get together without regrets, but I couldn’t. I’m getting more and more Love him and want to monopolize him more and more. When he told me that he left Murong Xue and that he would marry me as soon as I graduated, it was a beautiful dream, you can't imagine how happy I am."

"Dreams will eventually wake up. Murong Xue was pregnant. When he really married Murong Xue, I thought my heart was really dead. Han Lei, he appeared in front of me four years later, I have been deceiving myself Forgetting seems so weak. I can't even lie to myself anymore, I will wake up crying because of him in my dream at midnight."

"His influence on me is still so deep, I am even afraid, afraid that if he gets closer, I will compromise. I can't compromise. I am no longer 16-year-old An Ran. I can squander my youth and don't care about anything. I have Ozawa, and I need to protect Ozawa. I can't guarantee that I can retreat unscathed from Shangguan Rui's pressing every step of the way. I can't even be sure that I will stick to it because of Shangguan Rui's love Live with him."

"The third party, I don't want to be a third party. I don't want Xiao Ze to be the illegitimate child of others. I don't want Xiao Ze to be judged everywhere. I don't want Murong Xue to come to humiliate me and Xiao Ze from time to time. Ze, I am really afraid of such a day. I will always remember the embarrassment I felt when Murong Xue went to school. It was a wound engraved in my heart. How could I let Xiao Ze and I walk into such a situation? Life."

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have chosen to marry Qiu Ze in order to protect myself and Xiao Ze. Han Lei, my parents are too kind to me. Qiu Ze is too kind to me, and they are even better to Xiao Ze. In everyone's eyes In my eyes, my choice is right. I have a happy family, and even the conflicts between husband and wife that others worry about, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The whole family is happy and harmonious, but Han Lei, do you know? The more this is the case, The greater the pressure in my heart, the more I feel guilty. I will work harder to do my job as Qiu Ze's wife and do my best to make them happy."

"Since I got married, I have been given the title of Qiu Ze's wife. For the sake of the Qiu family, I will always remind myself to work hard to do what a wife should do. Everything is in peace. This is the peaceful life I want. But Until you gave birth to Niannian and Xuanxuan, Shangguan Rui and I were stuck in the elevator that day..."

An Ran's tears rolled out, that day, she always thought that she had suppressed him deep in her heart.But that day, she let herself indulge.That day, he was by her side.Her heart was beating, and she knew that this man would affect her throughout her life.When she saw the snapped photo, she saw the unconcealable love in her eyes at a glance.So obvious, how could the three of them not understand.She was really scared.

Not only she knows, Qiu Ze also knows...

"After that day, I blamed myself even more. I was cheating mentally. I always thought that I hid Shangguan Rui in the deepest part of my heart, and I would never bring it up again. I thought it was everything. I know that Qiu Ze never would He forced me to attend events with him. He knew that I didn't like being intimate in public, so he and I kept a low profile. But after that, Qiu Ze began to ask me to attend various events with her. If it was before , I will definitely refuse, but after that time, I will start to agree and no longer refuse. Because not only him, but even myself want to use this method to let Shangguan Rui and I have nothing to do with each other."

"Because I know that if Shangguan Rui sees my happiness, he won't have any thoughts to destroy my happiness. And as long as he doesn't appear in front of me, we can live in peace. I still A good wife, I'm still a good daughter-in-law of the Qiu family. But, I'm not a good wife, I'm not a good wife, I'm an out-and-out bad woman, I don't deserve their kindness to me..."

"safely……"

Cheng Hanlei felt distressed listening on the phone, tears kept rolling out.

She always thought that she was An Ran's best friend, but she never saw the surface of things.Not seeing the pain deep in An Ran's heart, hearing her painful, guilty and sad voice, Cheng Hanlei's heart was pierced, and she really wanted to hug An Ran and give her a warm embrace.

"Is it because of the childbirth? You have already taken the ring, so you can't conceive a child, and you can't say it's your fault..."

After she was pregnant with a child, Qiu Ze wanted to break the one-year agreement and want to have a child in advance.But An Ranna wasn't ready, so after coming to S city, she accompanied her to the hospital to get a ring.She understood An Ran's thoughts very well, she wanted to have another child for Qiu Ze in a while.She wanted more time for Ozawa to integrate into the Qiu family more, and she didn't want to affect Ozawa's stay in the Qiu family just because she gave birth to another child.

It sounds selfish to say it, but compared to the unformed child, compared with Ozawa, it is inevitable that An Ran cares about Ozawa.

I dare not tell Qiu Ze because I am afraid that Qiu Ze will think too much.There are too many icebergs in An Ran and Qiu Ze's marriage, and An Ran is very afraid that if she touches them accidentally, it will cause unnecessary misunderstanding and harm.She wanted to delay it in the gentlest way, and after a year or two, the ring would be removed and she would have a child with Qiu Ze.

"Han Lei, it's not like this..."

"It's my fault. It's my ring. I didn't pay attention. It's me. It's all my fault. It's my self-assertion that hurts the child and makes the child an unhealthy child. , I signed the abortion agreement with my own hands and killed Qiu Ze's child. I killed Qiu Ze's child with my own hands, the child that the Qiu family wanted so much. It was me who made it impossible for me to conceive a child for Qiu Ze..."

An Ran finally burst into tears, but when she took the ring, she found out that she was pregnant during the B-ultrasound. The complicated emotions had not been relieved, and the doctor said that the child could not be born.She can't have a child, so how should she tell the Qiu family that it was her who secretly got into the ring that caused all this.

Facing the questioning from her parents and Qiu Ze, she didn't know how to explain.No matter how I explain it, it's all my fault. She didn't have the child because she didn't have it, and she signed the abortion consent form.She is a sinner, the sinner who killed the child with her own hands.If it wasn't for her, the child would be healthy. If it wasn't for her, the child would already be called mom and dad, and grandpa and grandma...

It's all her, everything now is caused by her...

The phone had already been put aside, An Ran hugged herself tightly.Over the years, I have never wanted to use tears to solve the problem.Trying to make myself calm and suppress my emotions, I have been working so hard.But today, emotions erupted in an instant, and tears flowed violently...

An Ran, who was crying, didn't realize that Qiu Ze, who came back at some time, was standing at the door of the room, looking at An Ran who was sitting there crying, his eyes were deep, as if they contained endless emotions.

Clenching his fists tightly, he stopped breathing at this moment.Looking at the crying woman, the woman I love so much...

Sadness in my heart, endless sadness...