the president's wife

Chapter 363: Her infertility is within the control of reason, and the person has already opened the slightly closed door and walked out.The light was not turned on in the living room, standing at the door of the room in the night a gust of cold wind blowing in from the balcony made Cheng Hanlei shiver even colder.Looking at the slender figure outside the balcony, holding the phone, his voice was deliberately lowered.

The words that could not be heard in the room could be heard clearly at this time.

"Today's matter, thank you."

Thank you, Lei Chenyi is rare to be able to say thank you to others...

"Facts have proved that I was wrong, Lei Lei has you as a good friend is her wealth."

There was recognition of the person on the other end of the line in the voice.

Cheng Hanlei was stunned for a moment, good friend, her good friend is only An Ran, and at three o'clock in the middle of the night, how could Lei Chenyi talk to An Ran on the phone.What happened today, did you mean seeing him and the woman who hadn't met, or...

The heart was pulled into the throat, and people stood in the dark, forgetting even the cold...

I just feel as if I have really fallen into a whirlpool, and I can't get out of it.

"I hope you will continue to hide it for me, I don't want Lei Lei to know."

I don't want her to know what he and An Ran both know, but they want to keep it from themselves.An Ran said that she should not think too much, does she know something?What is the relationship between that woman and Lei Chenyi...

Cheng Hanlei's brain is a little confused...

Then An Ran on the other side of the phone didn't know what to say, and Lei Chenyi on the other side was silent for a long time, and then he made a statement in a low voice in the dark...

"It's true that it's impossible to hide it forever, but... this is the first time I believe in heaven, and God will take care of her. Just because it's not easy to conceive doesn't mean you won't get pregnant. I believe in that one percent miracle."

This is the first time he believes that there are miracles in the world, and also the first time he believes that God will favor the kind Lei Lei...

difficult to conceive...

one percent...

These words pass through the eardrum and enter the brain.It seems that some people can't understand the meaning of these words, and their minds are getting more and more confused.Lei Chenyi's reaction, when An Ran heard today that he was going to the hospital to get a report, he purposely wandered around for more than an hour. For a normal report, are these all manipulations?

how is this possible……

She cannot conceive.

impossible……

impossible……

Shaking her head non-stop, Cheng Hanlei felt that the voices from the outside world were far away from her, and her body retreated uncontrollably, as if this could cover up the fact that she couldn't conceive.

The knocked door made a sound, Lei Chenyi had just hung up the phone and was about to turn around, when he heard the sound behind him, his blood froze into ice in an instant.Quickly rushing back to the living room from the balcony, turning on the light, the discomfort caused by the sudden bright light did not affect Cheng Hanlei who was leaning on the door in a complete daze...

Her eyes were still looking at a certain place without blinking...

"Leilei..."

Lei Chenyi didn't know when Cheng Hanlei came out, because An Ran and Cheng Hanlei had been together all the time, and it was inconvenient to talk about it, so he avoided Cheng Hanlei on the balcony of the living room at this time...

I just didn't expect to be heard by Cheng Hanlei...

Paper can't contain fire, and there is no airtight wall. He has always known these two sentences. All the people who want to hide Hanlei love her and don't want her to be hurt. No woman knows that she may never be able to. It won't hurt to have a child, not to mention that Lei Lei loves children so much, she is so eager to have a love crystal with herself...

"Is what you just said... true?"

The eyes were full of tears, and as the last word was spoken, the tears also gushed out.Sliding across the cheeks, it was so cold that it made people cold.

Lei Chenyi looked at Cheng Hanlei, who was weeping silently, and her frozen blue lips, although there was an air conditioner and carpets outside.But the cold wind blowing in from the balcony door just opened was enough to make Cheng Hanlei's whole body cold.When I wrapped my coat around Cheng Hanlei, when I felt the coldness of her body, my heart tightly clenched into a ball.

After hiding it for so long, she finally let her know in this way.

"I can't conceive, I can't give birth to you...I can't in this life..."

She closed her eyes in some pain, she was not a teenager and she couldn't be hysterical, but there was a large emptiness in her heart, which was empty and uncomfortable.

"What I want is you, not your womb. Lei Lei, no matter whether I can have children or not, it will not change my determination to want you, understand?"

Lei Chenyi would not say provocative words.This is already the limit, turn on the air conditioner, lie back on the bed with Cheng Hanlei in her arms, put her hands on her chest, and wrap her feet around hers, trying to warm her with her own body.

She felt the warmth of his body, and felt that the air was gradually warming up, but her heart couldn't be warmed no matter what.

He likes children so much, does he really not mind that he can't have children for him?I don't mind now, I don't mind in a year, I don't mind in two years, so what about a lifetime?How long is a lifetime, and at the end of being together, when the relationship fades and there is no bond with the children, can they really go on?

A little weak, more silent tears welled up from his eyes.

"Leilei..."

Feeling that the tears in his chest were getting worse, Lei Chenyi was really worried because he couldn't hear her.He would rather Cheng Hanlei cry aloud, and the fact of screaming would hit her, than cry silently like this now.Every tear is tearing his heart, as much as she loves him, it hurts him as much.

There was still no response, Cheng Hanlei seemed to have withdrawn her consciousness, leaving only her lacrimal glands developing...

With the lights on, Cheng Hanlei could be seen curled up in his arms like a wounded animal. She didn't say a word of sadness or pain, but her tears said it all.The pain that can't be shouted is the real pain to the bone.

"Cheng Hanlei, look at me."

Lei Chenyi's heart was really hurt by crying...

Pulling Cheng Hanlei out of her arms, raised her face covered with tears, tears and snot all over her face, his chest was even wet and sticky, Lei Chenyi didn't seem to notice this .Just looking at Cheng Hanlei's somewhat empty eyes, the bottomless inside is her sadness and unspeakable pain.

"I love you."

Three words, said very lightly, very clearly.He didn't explain it, because he loved her so he didn't mind if she couldn't conceive again, and he was the person in the world who didn't have the right to mind.He is the chief culprit of this matter, and he has no right to mind at all.Four years ago, he had learned from Yin Kejia that Cheng Hanlei ran in the rain before recovering from the curettage, hurt her body, and might not be able to conceive again in this life.

He has always known, and since four years ago, his choice was to hide Cheng Hanlei.The only purpose is to not make her hurt more.

And four years later, when he was with Lei Lei, he knew this fact even more.

It's not that there will be no regrets, but these regrets are not enough to shake his determination to be with Leilei.No kids, they still have Bei Bei.Maybe you can't get pregnant, but it's not that you can't.They are still young and still have a lot of time to work hard.Even if there is still no little life belonging to them by then, there are other ways.

The reason why I don't think about it is because I don't want Lei Lei to suffer that torture.I dare not try it lightly. After all, the success rate of IVF is really low. If the implantation is successful, but it cannot conceive normally in the end, it will be a greater blow to Leilei.The reason why she didn't want to was because she didn't want to hurt her more.

He owed her too much, and he just wanted to do his best to protect her in a sunny day, so that there would be no more tears, and he could live happily every day.

And now...

Her tears scalded and hurt his heart...

He finally made her cry, and she still burst into tears in such a hurtful way.

There was some reaction in the dull and empty eyes, and the three words were heard in the ears.

I love you……

He was telling himself the three words he had always wanted to hear. If it wasn't for this moment, would she happily throw herself into his arms.But now, these three words are like a big stone pressing on her heart.Tears suddenly flowed more from the eyes.

She saw the worry in his eyes, and saw that there was no longer any hidden love in his eyes that had always been very dark.

His voice was so choked that he couldn't make a sound.

It's not just me who is being tortured, but also him...

She knew in her heart that she couldn't comfort him just now.She couldn't tell her with a smile that she was fine, she was really sad, it hurt so much, and she couldn't restrain this emotion because of the pain.

I wanted to say that I was fine, but my lips moved up and down for a moment, and I couldn't say a word.

In the end, Cheng Hanlei just buried herself in Lei Chenyi's arms again, and hugged Lei Chenyi tightly.This is the only thing she can do. She always thought that she was strong enough to face many things.The fact of infertility eventually tore away her strong veil, so vulnerable.

She was so fragile...

Lei Chenyi hugged Cheng Hanlei tightly, because of love, he understands this pain.

Expressed in body language, she and him...

When the tears were shrouded in the morning light, the tears had stopped, but Cheng Hanlei still leaned against his arms without saying a word, she seemed to be a normal person, but she was enveloped in a very gloomy mood.

At around seven o'clock, Lei Chenyi let go of Cheng Hanlei and got up.

Cheng Hanlei was still nestling there, with her eyes closed, she seemed to be asleep, but her eyelashes were trembling inaudibly.She was suppressing her tears, her red and swollen eyes were full of pain.

Without opening his eyes, he heard noises outside.

An Ran came over, but as soon as Cheng Beibei woke up, she babbled to wake up Cheng Hanlei, but was stopped by Lei Chenyi.Obediently and obediently, Anze and Anze waited for breakfast on the sofa, while Lei Chenyi walked into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.An Ran stood in the living room, watching Lei Chenyi wearing an apron washing his hands and making soup.

In fact, whether a man can cook and whether he is willing to cook are two different things. In the eyes of career men, cooking does not conform to their image.And when a very macho man is willing to wash his hands and make soup for a woman, he really loves this woman badly.

While Lei Chenyi was making breakfast, An Ran walked into Cheng Hanlei's room.Deliberately lighten the movement, as Cheng Hanlei's best friend, she also knew this fact four years ago.When Cheng Hanlei in M ​​City was hospitalized for emergency treatment because of taking two pills, she was reprimanded by the doctor.That's why she was so angry with Lei Chenyi in front of Cheng Hanlei at that time, not only because he didn't take measures to make Hanlei suffer, but also because his relationship made Hanlei face such pain one day...

The curtains were drawn in the room, so the sunlight didn't come in.And Cheng Hanlei nestled there, keeping his eyes closed.There was only a very warm and faint yellow light on by the bedside, which dimmed in circles...

Red, swollen eyes, tired face.

"Han Lei."

Knowing that she was not asleep, An Ran sat beside Cheng Hanlei's bed and spoke softly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hide it from you..."

Like Lei Chenyi, she chose not to tell her because she didn't want to bear the blow too early.They were all waiting for the most appropriate time, when Cheng Hanlei could be psychologically prepared before accepting this blow.It's just that the plan has never changed much. The more I want to hurt the less, the more the damage is magnified in the end...

"fine."

Without opening his eyes, he just shook his head slightly.

I don't even have the strength to speak, and there are too many and complicated emotions in my heart, constantly colliding.Want to narrate, but even organizing language has become difficult.

An Ran also stopped talking, as she was also a woman, she was more able to understand how the fact of infertility hurts people.Sitting silently on the side, accompanying Cheng Hanlei.Supporting her silently like this, I want to tell her that she has been supporting her behind her.

Not long after, the door opened again, and when An Ran saw Lei Chenyi walking in with breakfast, she stood up and walked out.

Outside, Cheng Beibei and Anze had already started eating breakfast.From time to time, Cheng Beibei would stare at the ham in Anze's bowl with salivating eyes, and Anze would feed it to Cheng Beibei's lips.

"Brother Ze, you look so good-looking."

When Cheng Beibei was happy, he would praise people for their good looks. An Ze glanced at Cheng Beibei, but he was very pleased with his words.

Standing there looking at the two children, no matter how precocious the children's world is, they are actually the same simple and uncomplicated, their joy is so simple...

"Godmother."

"mom."

Two children found An Ran, one was articulate, the other was stuffy and slurred.

"Is Mom's headache better? When can Beibei come into the room?"

After Cheng Beibei swallowed the food in his mouth, he looked at An Ran and asked.The uncle said that my mother had a headache this morning, and told her not to disturb her mother.But she hasn't said good morning to her mother yet.An Ran looked at Cheng Beibei, and had an idea in her mind, maybe Beibei could...

In the room, Cheng Hanlei smelled the aroma of porridge and heard Lei Chenyi asking her to get up for breakfast.

Living up to Lei Chenyi's intentions, he sat up.After simply washing up, he watched Lei Chenyi throw his hands away...

He picked up the porridge that was set aside and ate it.

She ate very slowly, reluctantly took a few mouthfuls, but actually wanted to eat them all, because she knew it was Lei Chenyi's wish.However, the stomach is obviously very empty, but when swallowing, it seems to be chewing wax.

It was too painful, and finally Cheng Hanlei chose to put the bowl down.

"Eat some more?"

Cheng Hanlei just shook her head lightly...

Lei Chenyi didn't force himself anymore, his big hands were warm, and he caressed his face that had been haggard that night.The eyes are red and swollen, and they are still a little swollen after applying hot water just now.

"I have some important things to deal with today, so I can't stay with you at home. Let An Ran stay with you at home, and tell her if there is anything you want to eat."

He didn't speak, but nodded to show that he heard.

Lei Chenyi confessed a few more words, and then walked out with the porridge.Afterwards Lei Chenyi went out, and An Ran said that Beibei was going to come in to see her, and this appearance would scare Beibei.Hearing Beibei, Cheng Hanlei had some emotion in her eyes.Finally, after changing clothes, the corners of her mouth turned up a little, and Cheng Beibei came in and looked at Cheng Hanlei who had disguised herself but was still very unhappy...

"Mom, Beibei rubs your head for you to relieve the pain."

Rubbing his temples with his little hands, brother Anze taught him that.And Cheng Hanlei looked at Cheng Beibei's serious appearance, and her eyes suddenly turned red again. It is impossible for her to have a biological daughter like Beibei...

"Beibei, Mommy has a headache and needs to rest. Go out and play with Brother Ze."

"Okay. Mom, take a good rest, Beibei won't disturb you anymore."

Cheng Beibei left the room...

"An Ran, I want to rest."

An Ran left the room, Cheng Hanlei leaned there, her eyes fixed on a certain point.She wants to laugh, wants to say that she is fine, wants to hold Cheng Beibei and tease her baby girl like before, but her heart is heavy, and it is so difficult to raise the corners of her mouth, no matter how hard she tries, she still can't do it...

I don't know how long it took, An Ran came in and said she was going out to buy something, and asked her if she wanted to eat, but An Ran just shook her head and didn't say anything more, left her a quiet space and left with her two children.

We all know that she needs a process of psychological adjustment.

The world suddenly became quiet, even the voices of Beibei and Anze outside disappeared.Cheng Hanlei buried her head in her knees weakly, how could she adjust her mood... so that she would not be suffocated by pain... suffocated by guilt...

****************

"What? Leilei is gone?"

Lei Chenyi's expression froze, and the hand he was caressing on his clothes stopped...