As deep as you are as hell

My consciousness began to diverge, and I couldn't stay awake.

The body was light and floating, as if falling from a high altitude, smashing into the deep sea.

I seemed to have been pushed into many different departments. One by one cold machines began to examine me, and the oxygen mask was put on my face again, making every breath I took heavy and depressing.

There seemed to be always the sound of hurried footsteps in the room. The lighter ones were the nurses who came to change my dressing and give me an IV drip; the faster ones were the doctors with stethoscopes who came to check my physical condition; I don't know who to attribute to the random footsteps.

My eyelids are very heavy, obviously I have regained my consciousness, but I still can't open my eyes.

I vaguely heard the doctor say whether I have depression or bipolar disorder, and even the doctor said that I have self-harm.

I find it funny, how could I possibly hurt myself?
But the pain in the body came again and again...

I don't know how long I've been asleep, but the moment I opened my eyes, the first thing I felt was the intensity and heat of the sun's rays, so I couldn't help covering my eyes with the back of my hand.

When I just woke up, I heard the voice of the other party chatting. The female voice on the other end of the phone was familiar to me, it was Ji Jiarui.

The person who answered the phone sat next to me, with a gentle and cold voice, replying to Ji Jiarui's childish words one by one and very patiently.

Ji Jiarui called him brother...so who is he?

The subconscious reaction of my body made me shiver, and my spine began to feel chills. I saw the man in the wheelchair looking back at me.

It was the first time for me to look at him so carefully. His facial features are very beautiful, with three courts and five eyes, which is a kind of appearance that is very suitable for the eyes of his parents.

But upon closer inspection, it was actually somewhat similar to Ji Jiarui!
He covered his lips and whispered a few words to the other end of the phone, and the phone was quickly hung up.

I stared straight at Ji Jiayan, from his clear eyes to see the smooth jaw, the knuckle fingers all the way to the empty trouser legs.

My voice was trembling, like a flower bone being beaten in a rainy night: "Are you Ji Jiayan?"

Who would have imagined that the most mysterious man in City A, who turned clouds with his left hand and rained rain with his right, was actually a disabled person with hemiplegia?

I widened my eyes, completely unable to contain the surprise in my sight.

"Are you afraid of me?" His voice paused slightly, "But aren't we friends?"

I flinched to the other side of the hospital bed, and invisibly distanced myself from him: "No, I'm not afraid, I'm just too surprised..."

Ji Jiayan snorted coldly, noncommittal: "How much did you hear about the conversation between me and Rui'er just now?"

"I didn't hear anything... No, I only heard a little... Will you do something to Chu Ting?" My thoughts were swirling like a whirlpool, but the words I said were straightforward, completely without passing through Turn around a thousand times.

There was a smile on the corner of Ji Jiayan's mouth, and his face looked like a fine jade that had been carefully carved and polished: "Rui'er is still young this year, I don't want her to marry so soon. And she will definitely go abroad to develop in the future, but I I don't believe that Chu Ting can abandon the domestic industry and accompany Rui Er to go abroad without distraction."

So at this juncture, he still has concerns about Ji Jiarui and Chu Ting's marriage.

Knowing just now that Ji Jiarui has no real affection for Chu Ting, Ji Jiayan's desire to let the two of them withdraw from the engagement became active again.

Ji's family has a big business, and they don't need to look at anyone's eyes to act, and they have the capital to be willful and willful, so Ji Jiayan can say this lightly at this moment.

"Rui'er is too playful. Even if I don't intervene in her marriage with Chu Ting, she won't be able to go far at all. Now it seems... It is estimated that Ruier will not show up at the wedding next month." Ji Jiayan's brows appeared A ray of inexplicable emotions.

"Chen Jiao, I won't use special means to deal with him. I admire his ability and look forward to the day when we can really communicate and learn from each other."

"And don't you see that Chu Ting's recent actions are completely wrong? Chu Ting's kindness to Rui Er in the past month is just a cover."

Every word Ji Jiayan said was like a burning candle, breaking the already fragile window paper.

"The Chu family didn't know where they found out that Chu Ting had a crush outside, and they were still playing the game of "Golden House Cangjiao" in the Qiushan Villa. Once they learned the family law, they took care of them."

That time the beating was really ruthless, and I heard that it was Chu Linqing who did it himself.

Ji Jiayan continued: "However, Chu Ting's behavior still made the Chu family very angry. For some reason, Chu Ting suddenly announced the cancellation of cooperation with many large enterprises, which almost did not arouse the public outrage of the entire business community in City A. The old man Chu Linqing naturally moved out of his family law to serve Chu Ting."

"It is estimated that Chu Ting has learned to be smart now, so she is very kind to Ruier, and often takes her back to Chu's house for dinner. But both Ruier and I can see that he is just using Ruier as a pawn. .”

I asked in a daze, "Why are you telling me this?"

I just feel heartbroken. It turned out that during the days when I tried my best to get close to Chu Ting, he always wanted to distance us and protect me in his own way.

It turns out that the sound of the 52-hertz whale in the deep sea is not unknown, after all, the waves know it.

Ji Jiayan's eyes were meaningful: "If the bride does not show up at the wedding, how do you think Chu Ting, who has always been arrogant, will deal with herself?"

"Chen Jiao, you probably don't know that when you mention Chu Ting, your eyes are always full of nostalgia and tenderness. Only your heart for Chu Ting will always be fierce and honest."

"I don't want to target Chu Ting, or do anything to him. But he absolutely shouldn't let Rui Er be someone else's shield."

Ji Jiayan is a veritable sister-in-law, so he can't tolerate any sand in his eyes.

As for Chu Ting, the first step he took was completely wrong.

Ji Jiayan touched my cheek with his hand: "Why are you crying for him? He has done so many things to make you sad during this period, don't you ever think of pushing him into the abyss and watching him rise from the radiance Fall to pieces from a height?"

I lowered my head, not daring to say a word to go along with it.

The nakedest and most direct truth was pushed in front of me, but I found that I couldn't accept it at all.

The tears at the end of my eyes were wiped away by Ji Jiayan, and his breathing fell into my ears: "Chen Jiao, you are really a strange person. But you who love and hate Chu Ting, do you feel good?"

There was an unfamiliar sweet-scented osmanthus fragrance on him, which was faint and pleasant.

Seeing my red earlobes, Ji Jiayan finally put away her playfulness, and her expression returned to seriousness.The distance between us was also pulled apart, and my heart suddenly let go.

Ji Jiayan changed the subject: "By the way, there was a courier that was sent to me a few days ago. I think it says your name on it, and it was brought here for you recently."

Express delivery... I thought about it for a long time, and suddenly thought of my mother.

As soon as I opened the express box, I was stunned. There was only a diary in it. The cover was simple black, hard shell, with magnet buttons on the side, and the inside pages were written in strong and familiar handwriting.

A flamboyant name fell on the title page. Ji Jiayan happened to look over and read aloud: "Chen, Ze, Min."

In such a thick book, there were only a few short lines on the first page. I glanced at ten lines, but soon my face turned pale, and I started to feel flustered and uneasy for no reason.

My breathing also gradually became heavy, and fluid surged up and spit out from my throat, staining the pure white quilt.

"What's wrong?" Ji Jiayan was at a loss for a moment, and quickly pressed the alarm, calling for the nurse and doctor.

My heart was heaving violently, my eyes widened and became round, and recently I had become a little thinner, at that moment, my expression was terrifying and hideous.

The sound of panicked footsteps came, and I was pushed onto the operating table again. After checking one by one, the only thing that remained unchanged was the surprise in the eyes of the doctors and their subconscious sighs.

After the painless gastroscopy, the anesthesia made me fall asleep for nearly two hours, and it was already night when I woke up again.

A nurse helped me rub my fingers. I glanced over, but there were no familiar faces around.

After I was able to get out of bed and walk freely, the nurse urged me to go for a psychological examination.

For the first time, 15 minutes was extremely long and tormenting for me. The doctor looked at the scars on my hands and shook his head silently again and again.

After being transferred to the general ward, the doctor called Ji Jiayan away alone.

When he came back half an hour later, his face was full of dignity.

I twisted my fingers and asked anxiously, "Is there any bad news?"

The hospital gown on me was wide, and my shoulder blades were thin, pushing up the clothes, like a butterfly spreading its wings.Under the light, my face was still pale, but my eyes were red.

It would be a lie to say that I have no self-awareness about my body.It's just that I don't know how bad the situation will be.

After I filled out the psychological test form according to the situation, all the handwriting faded away like a landscape painting.What I can really see in my eyes is only the doctor shaking his head one after another.

But Ji Jiayan asked an irrelevant question: "Chen Jiao, can I be considered your friend in your heart?"

I didn't answer, just staring blankly at the wooden floor.

Ji Jiayan smiled, probably had the answer in his heart, and didn't plan to persuade me any more, instead he took out a stack of reports and handed them to me for review.

Chronic superficial gastritis developed into gastric cancer, the depression score was as high as 91, and he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder... every word is shocking.

If the answer I left behind at that time contained affirmative meaning, now Ji Jiayan has begun to persuade me earnestly.But I didn't speak, we can only look at each other in silence now.

"Very good." I slowly dropped these three words.

The next second, my collar was suddenly picked up by Ji Jiayan: "Chen Jiao, do you know what you're talking about right now?"

Only after a person is sick can his mind become extraordinarily mature, and he can see through many things in an instant.

I have always had a silted waterway in my heart, and all the depressed, irritable and unhappy things are the waves that widen the sea.

But every time the waves hit the shore and roared, there was no chance to resolve the storm.

I smiled, shrugged my shoulders, and the corners of my eyes were stained with red, which made people feel distressed: "But this road, I really couldn't go on a long time ago."