A deep love: Thousands of stars are not as good as you

If An Jinnian is my catastrophe, then Qin Xiao, Xu Yan's childhood sweetheart, is her other catastrophe.

I have seen him, the conceited and arrogant Qin Xiao who grew up with Xu Yan.Just like An Jinnian, Xu Yan, who quietly left four years ago and was forced to follow him all the way, was heartbroken.

Xu Yan once said that in her life, she loved Qin Xiao the most, but also hated him the most.She said that she had been looking for Qin Xiao for ten years, and she had also waited for him for ten years, but he still abandoned her and let her down.

In this comparison, in the world of love, I am far inferior to Xu Yan. She loves firmly and bravely, and is not as humble as me.

I believe in love, but I don't believe in love. No one in this world will love someone for ten years.Even if I call myself a lover, I think I can't love someone for a long time.That's why I tried so hard to grab An Jinnian's hand, and couldn't bear that our love would be buried in dusty memories one day.

I don't believe the eight years that Yu Sheng said, maybe in the past eight years, he really reserved a corner for me in his heart.But in these eight years, I don't believe he hasn't loved anyone.Rather than saying that he likes me, it is better to say that what he likes is just a proud shadow of Lin Xi back then.Because I haven't got it before, I think it's the best.

But for me, love is pure and beautiful, without any impurities.It is different from friendship, and even more than family affection. I only hope that the person I love will be alone from beginning to end, holding his hand and growing old together.

Xu Yan took a deep breath, and suppressed the sadness that just came out of her heart. She showed her teeth slightly, forced a smile, and said, "Okay, I won't anymore. Since you don't like Yu Sheng, then I won't." Help you."

Hearing this, my tense expression relaxed.I know how fragile people are when they love but cannot.It is like an egg with smooth lines and a perfectly rounded appearance. Once the outer eggshell is broken, the yolk and egg white inside will gush out and collapse into an army.And now Xu Yan and I are just like this.

"Hmm" I hummed.

"Then when are we going back to Beijing?" Xu Yan pulled me to sit on the sofa, "Also, what gifts should I bring for my uncles and aunts this time?"

Seeing Xu Yan quickly change the subject, the guilt in my heart only increased, "How about we go shopping first, if you are not busy, we will come back tomorrow?" I asked tentatively.

"Well," Xu Yan pondered, "No, I still have to go back to the company to ask for leave! I guess it will take two days to get the leave approved, why don't you just wait, wait for me for two days, and then we'll go back to Beijing."

"Okay." I replied without hesitation.

"Then let's talk about it like this." Xu Yan raised her hand and patted the sofa vigorously before standing up, "Well, I have something to go back to the company in the afternoon, Lin Xi, you wait first." When she got up, she raised her hand and wiped the sofa. Wiping the corners of his eyes, the movement was smooth and done in one go, so fast that people couldn't see the flaws in it.

But the sadness in her eyes clearly told me that she was about to cry.

I watched dumbly as Xu Yan went back to her room and changed into a coat, then walked out with her bag.At the moment when the living room door closed, I seemed to hear Xu Yan's choked up crying.

With a bang, the door was slammed shut.I walked over and wanted to open the door to follow, but the moment I put my hand on the doorknob, I heard a faint cry outside the door.Even though Xu Yan tried her best to suppress her crying, I could still imagine her crying as she crouched in the corner.

Look, Xu Yan is like this, she never shows her sadness to others, even if I am her best friend, she doesn't want me to see her sadness.

My heart seemed to be stabbed hard, the pain was so painful that my breathing was heavy, I gradually squatted down, sat on the ground with my hands around my knees, buried my head deeply in the crook of my arms, and was sad with Xu Yan outside the door.

Every time, she was there to persuade me when I was sad, but when she was sad, she hid in a corner where no one knew, licking her own wounds.

So much so that I never knew that Xu Yan's heart would be so fragile sometimes.

The whimpering outside the door gradually subsided, and as the "dong dong" sound of high-heeled shoes stepped on the ground faded away, the crying outside the door also disappeared.I quickly got up and opened the door. Outside the door, Xu Yan was no longer there. There was only a puddle of water stains on the ground in a dark corner where the sun could not shine.

I silently retreated to the living room, closed the door, and sat back on the sofa.It was as if someone had ripped out a piece of my heart, it was empty, and my mind was blank.

The figure of Xu Yan leaving is still vivid in my mind. I closed my eyes, and what echoed in my mind was the scene of Xu Yan hugging me and crying bitterly four years ago.She was the same at that time.

I still remember that that day, the weather was gloomy, and the thick white fog covered the entire Jiangzhou University, as if something bad was about to happen, giving people a sense of oppression and heavy.

That afternoon, the sky was so gray that there was no light to be seen. Xu Yan held a handwritten letter in her hand and entered the dormitory in a daze. As soon as she saw me, she rushed over and hugged my arm, unable to stop Weep bitterly.The crying sound was long, and I heard it in my ears, and my mood became extremely bad for no reason.

I hugged her, didn't speak, stretched out my hand and patted her back gently, once and for all, feeling her sadness.

Tired of crying, she lay on my lap, covered her red and swollen eyes from crying, and said, "Lin Xi, Qin Xiao is gone, do you know? I have been looking for him for five years, and finally found him here." He, but he left me again, even the reason for leaving is so far-fetched." She choked up, and the hoarseness in her throat forced her to lower her voice. "We grew up together. We were childhood sweethearts. People said we were a match made in heaven. I always thought so. But five years ago, his family suffered a sudden change. His father died and he disappeared. My father told I said he was dead too, and asked me to go abroad with him, but I didn't believe he would die, so I broke up with my father and stayed in Jiangzhou to wait for him. But I waited for five years, and I also searched for five years. He finally chose to leave. Lin Xi, my heart really hurts..." That day, Xu Yan hugged me and cried for a long, long time until her throat became inflamed and she could no longer utter a sound.

At that time, I was thinking, what should I do if An Jinnian disappears one day.But life happens to be so coincidental, before I was still sighing, and then I became that heartbroken person, even more miserable than Xu Yan.

After that, Xu Yan never mentioned Qin Xiao in front of me again.Counting it now, the gap between her and Qin Xiao is ten years away.

Just like she doesn't know why Qin Xiao left, just like I don't know why An Jinnian left, in the world of love, we have become the active side, the most humble one.

When Xu Yan came back, it was late at night, and I sat on the sofa, not daring to close my eyes for a moment.When she saw Xu Yan who was drunk and came back shaking her head.My heart throbbed, and my clenched hands stopped in mid-air, losing the courage to reach out to help.

I looked at her, and kept calling someone's name "Qin Xiao..." with half-opened mouths over and over again, as if I would never get tired of it.

It was only then that I finally realized how stupid I was today, that I would unscrupulously expose the wound in Xu Yan's heart.

I clearly know that Xu Yan's love for Qin Xiao is no less than my love for An Jinnian.

She walked towards me unsteadily, with the cold air on her body, which made me tremble all over, and I wanted to run away.

This result was unexpected by me.

Her eyes were drunk, she sat down beside me with a smirk, those bright and vivid eyes were already red and swollen.

I don't know how long he stayed in the cold wind, his black and light green curly hair like seaweed was fluffy and messy, and he no longer had the confidence and calmness of the past.

Her previously beautiful and delicate face was also covered with tears, and black lines of different lengths crawled all over her face.When going out, the good-looking makeup has been ruined by crying, and the rest is only in a state of embarrassment.

Such Xu Yan, really, really makes me feel bad.I wish I could be the one who becomes like this.

I finally understand why she always picks the worst words to scold me every time I lose my mind.

Because when I was sad, she was also accompanied by my heartache. The pain spread all over the body, making people feel like a knife, but there was nothing they could do.

I hugged her suddenly, and couldn't stop crying.

Xu Yan's slender eyes narrowed into slits, she was taken aback by my crying, and regained consciousness a bit.She looked up at me and said coyly, "It's so ugly, why are you crying?"

Then, amidst my paused crying, hugged me and cried loudly together.In the dark and silent night, the indoor lights were bright and bright, reflecting the two of us hugging each other and crying bitterly.

The sound of crying was lonely, like the wailing of an evil ghost who came to claim his life in the middle of the night, and it lasted for a long time.

That day, Xu Yan and I cried from midnight until the sun filled the room, and when the owner opposite Xu Yan's house couldn't stand it and knocked on the door, the two of us stopped crying.Qiqi used his eyes swollen into panda eyes to scare people, but in the end we were all taken aback.

In order to rush back to Beijing as soon as possible, get together with my parents and have a reunion year.Xu Yan and I made a special agreement that after we return to Beijing, we will stay at home all the time and entertain them with them.

From the time I prepared to leave until I left Jiangzhou, I never saw An Jinnian again, and I lost all news about him.

Before leaving, I successfully finished a book I was writing. After a short phone call with Shen Ke, I decided to take a long vacation for myself and not to open a new book in the short term.

On the day we returned to Beijing, the weather was fine and sunny, and Xu Yan and I returned home with large and small bags of presents.Maybe it's because the past half a month has been too bad in Jiangzhou.As soon as I got downstairs, I felt that every cell in my body was relaxed and happy, and my mood was much better than before.

When I knocked on the door of my house, my heart beat anxiously, as if I had done something terrible.

"Hey, sister, why are you back?" The person who came to open the door for us was Lin Yi, my younger brother.The moment he opened the door and saw us, surprise flashed across his eyes.

After not seeing him for a long time, he has changed from a childish boy to a grown-up man, with a clear breath like sweet spring flowing from his body, which smells fresh and pleasant.The neat short hair perfectly set off his facial features.He was wearing a gray sweater and black denim trousers, all of which revealed his vigor.