A deep love: Thousands of stars are not as good as you

I seem to have had a long, long dream, in which I am no longer alone, helpless and powerless.It's just because, this time, An Jinnian's aura is everywhere in his sleep.Suddenly, I seem to hear him say "Lin Xi, I love you, I love you very much...".

Such a dream is something I don't want to wake up in my life.Lin Xi in the dream can be happy, but after waking up from the dream, Lin Xi is numb.

Just like me at this moment, waking up from a dream by calling An Jinnian's name "Jinnian..."

Waking up from sleep again, there is still no familiar figure beside him.Just like the fear and anxiety after waking up in the past more than 1000 days and nights.Staring at every blind corner of the room with blurred eyes, my heart gradually became cold...

"Ah... Lin Xi, are you okay?" Xu Yan sat kneeling on the floor at the head of the bed, her upper body lying in front of me as if she was falling apart, looking at me like a curious baby.Those big eyes that kept flickering were full of gossip.

I looked at my room in disappointment, only to realize that I had returned at some point.And An Jinnian had already left. "What about him, have you seen him?" At this moment, I realized the fact that An Jinnian had left. I excitedly grabbed Xu Yan's arm and asked her.

"Oh... don't get excited, I still want to ask how you and An Jinnian are doing yesterday!" Xu Yan withdrew her hand and posted it gossipingly. "Tell me, what's going on." She didn't seem to see the uneasiness on my face, and she still pulled me and chatted as usual.

I sat up, covered my face with my hands, and couldn't help crying, "He's gone again, gone again... How could he just leave like this, he clearly promised me that he would never leave me again. Xu Yan, you say, How could he be so dishonest..." The despair in his tone was worse than ever.

"I haven't even had time to ask him why he left without saying goodbye four years ago, and I haven't had time to ask him whether he loves me or not..." The crying became louder and louder, and immediately filled the room.

"Cough... why are you crying so well?" Xu Yan was at a loss for what to do with my appearance, so she had no choice but to comfort her. "Isn't it all right? Don't cry, don't cry..." She grabbed my hand covering my face, trying to pull it off my face. "I thought you reconciled with An Jinnian yesterday..."

I showed my eyes that were red and swollen from crying and looked at her. "Xu Yan, I..." I couldn't let him go.A simple sentence, but I couldn't say it, I could only let the tears wet my eyes, and they fell down unsatisfactorily.There was a sudden stabbing pain in my heart, as if someone had stabbed it with a sharp blade and shattered it into pieces.

"It was An Jinnian who brought you back in the middle of the night last night." Xu Yan closed her eyes, as if she had made up her mind, "When he left, let me tell you not to look for him again. Okay." After Xu Yan finished speaking, she looked at me with hatred, "You said you, he has treated you like this, what are you still obsessed with him, are you going to be a lover? Let me see, An Jin Nian is not as good as Yu Sheng..." Xu Yan was stunned for a moment, stuck out her tongue, she didn't expect that she would pull Yu Sheng out to compare with An Jinnian.

His heart felt as if he had been hit hard by someone, and the tears in his eyes just now stopped.

I hurriedly got off the ground and put on my shoes, before I even had time to wash up, I was ready to rush out the door.I seemed to be dazed. At this moment, there was only one thought in my mind, which was to find An Jinnian.

Obviously it was agreed last night, and I won't leave again.But after turning around, he cruelly said goodbye to me. He actually said, telling me not to look for him again. I thought that getting along with him last night would make him change his mind.At least, it won't push me out again.

"Lin Xi, you're crazy..." Seeing that something was wrong, Xu Yan quickly blocked my way and blocked me at the door of the living room. "Lin Xi, wake up, you are in An Jinnian's heart, not as important as he is in your heart." She accused me loudly, but every word frustrated her heart.

"What's so good about him? It's worth Lin Xi's thinking about you for so many years. He's just a passer-by in your life. Your life is so long. Why does An Jinnian occupy your past and your life? Don't let go of the future. Lin Xi, ask your own heart, is his safety and prosperity really more important than everything else? Is it even more important than the parents who gave birth to you and raised you?"

"Xu Yan, I beg you, let me find him, okay..." Is it important?It doesn't matter anymore.Lin Xi who lost An Jinnian was nothing.If the rest of my life has nothing to do with him, then my life will be meaningless.

Because Lin Xi, who was sleeping in a dream and didn't want to wake up, lived for An Jinnian.

I cried and begged, my voice was almost hoarse, but Xu Yan still blocked the door without moving, showing no intention of getting out of the way.

I knelt down in pain, hugged my head and cried, "Xu Yan, let me find him, okay..." over and over again, as if I would never say anything else except these few words.

Xu Yan took out her mobile phone and clicked on the camera.Regardless of my crying and resistance, he held my chin with his hand, forced me to raise my head, and then handed the phone to my eyes.

What was shown in the phone was a small face in a state of distress, with red and swollen eyes, and tear stains all over its face.

She angrily picked up the phone and pointed at me and cursed, "Lin Xi, look at what you are now, humble, embarrassed, and ugly. These ugly words are so suitable for you. Just for An Jin Is it worth it to put yourself into such a ghostly appearance in [-]? It was like this four years ago, and it will still be like this four years later. Lin Xi, I despise you for being like this. You are a famous Lin writer, and in the eyes of many people, you are unattainable But now, where do you still have the high-spirited, unrestrained, calm and composed shadow of you back then? Don’t you even think you are a joke? Last time, in the Starry Sky Library, in front of so many reporters , trampled his own face under his feet, just because of An Jinnian who turned around and fled, causing a commotion. Don't you think you are ashamed?" Xu Yan's every word was like a barb, Every time I pierce one, my heart hurts a little.With every pain, a piece of my heart is broken.

I was paralyzed on the ground, staring at the mobile phone that was still close at hand, as if I had lost all the strength to refute, and just sat there without crying or making a fuss.

Even if Xu Yan scolded her head and face, it was like falling into an endless abyss, she was insane, stupid.

"Lin Xi, Lin Xi..." Feeling something was wrong with me, she also became flustered. "Lin Xi, what's wrong with you?" After a long while, she finally realized the seriousness, and hurriedly took the phone away from my eyes.With trembling fingers, he quickly dialed a series of numbers on the screen.

On the other end of the phone, there was a clear male voice, "Hello, Xu Yan, what's the matter?"

Xu Yan's eyes flickered, tears welled up in her eyes, she said in a trembling voice, "Hey! Yu Sheng... you... come here quickly. Lin Xi... Lin Xi, she..."

"What's wrong with Lin Xi?" On the phone, Yu Sheng's voice was more urgent.

"It's my fault... Yu Sheng, come here quickly... something happened to Lin Xi..." Xu Yan broke out in a cold sweat.The voice of speaking has become a crying voice.

"You wait, I'll come right away." The phone hung up, and the whole living room fell into silence.

Xu Yan's complexion was pale, her lips were biting tightly, bleeding a little, she kept calling me in a crying voice, "Lin Xi...Lin Xi...don't scare me, I was wrong, I shouldn't scold you like that Yes, please, please, please give me a face..."

Xu Yan burst into tears suddenly, "Lin Xi... I'm sorry, I was wrong, please don't be like this."

In the empty living room, only Xu Yan's crying sound filled his ears.

Not long after, the doorbell rang, and Xu Yan struggled to get up and open the door as if she saw a savior.

"What's the matter..." As soon as the door opened, Yu Sheng rushed in, his eyes scanned the whole living room eagerly, and finally fixed his eyes on me, "Lin Xi... what's wrong with Lin Xi." After seeing me At that moment, Yu Sheng was also a little panicked.He rushed forward in a hurry, hugged me horizontally, and walked into the bedroom all the way.

Xu Yan followed behind him, whimpering and said, "It's all my fault, I shouldn't have picked such nasty words to scold her. It's all my fault..."

Yu Sheng carefully put me on the bed, dragged off my shoes, and then pulled up the quilt beside me to cover me up, with gentle and slow movements, tenderness in his eyes.

But I still stared straight ahead, staring blankly at the ceiling above my head, and lost all ability to act and think, as if everything had nothing to do with me.

"What happened? How could Lin Xi be like this." Yu Sheng asked.

Xu Yan bit her lip, and replied, "Didn't you ask you to take her out for a walk yesterday? Who knew that you took her to the party of your new play? It's fine if you go. How could you let him meet An Jin?" Year."

"Mr. An, what's wrong with him."

"An Jinnian..." Xu Yan glanced at Yu Sheng, and continued, "It has always been a knot in Lin Xi's heart."

"How come, I saw them so close yesterday."

"That's it. If we don't meet, Lin Xi may still have expectations in his heart, but if he does meet, he will undoubtedly add another scar to Lin Xi's heart... Yu Sheng, this matter has nothing to do with you. , Blame me, I just want Lin Xi to forget about An Jinnian, that's why I got you involved, I'm sorry." Xu Yan bowed her head with a little apology on her face.

"It's not your fault, I did it voluntarily, Lin Xi is so good, it's worth it." Yu Sheng's eyes fell on me, and his eyes were full of distress. "I still remember that the first time I saw her was eight years ago."

"What, eight years ago!" Xu Yan was startled by Yu Sheng's words.

"Yes, eight years ago." Yu Sheng narrowed his eyes slightly, and slowly fell into the memory. "At that time, she was as proud as a tsundere peacock, and she was always dismissive of those who approached her. The first time I met her was because the school organized a talent show, and she was included in the invitation list. She was sent to There were wave after wave of people who invited her, but she refused them all." Speaking of this, he chuckled, "You don't even know that in the end even the president of the student union, me, personally came to invite her, and she couldn't even turn her eyes straight. They didn't even give me one, and they didn't even bother to be perfunctory, and said directly, I don't like the scene of being pursued by others."