I can't hide my affection for you

After coming out of the office, it was already night. If you say that the sky in Jiangcheng has changed so fast, it was still covered with dark clouds and heavy rain every day for the past two days, but today the sun is shining brightly, which makes Feirou fully feel the atmosphere of summer, even now , It was very late in the evening, and the temperature didn't mean to fade at all, only the occasional breeze could make Feirou feel a short-term coolness.After finishing the business, all that remains is to invite Li Nan to dinner. Of course, Fei Rou doesn't feel bad about money when he invites Li Nan to dinner, but the point is, where to eat?This gave Feirou a bit of a headache. Feirou has always had no requirements for what to eat. When she was abroad, she used to go out to eat with Beibei or Jiang Xiying. These two people, no matter who they were, would never let Feirou worry about what to eat. problem, but now it's a headache.

In the end, this question was thrown to Li Nan by Feirou. As a native of Jiangcheng, with an internationally certified foodie attribute, Li Nan took this question at her fingertips and brought Feirou directly to her old stronghold--" Laojiu BBQ Food Stall".barbecue?Feirou has eaten it a few times abroad, but it is different from domestic ones after all. To put it bluntly, foreign barbecues are just for the convenience of open-air dinner parties. They are all for filling their stomachs. There is a huge difference in China. In this way, it is true that Feirou has not eaten serious barbecue for several years.According to Li Nan's words, barbecue must eat this kind of open-air food stalls, the soul of barbecue that is completely wiped out after ordering and eating in the private room of the room must be in a noisy street market, surrounded by a few seats that do not know each other Guests, while chatting with their friends, feel the slight cool breeze of this summer, occasionally look at the noisy scene in other seats around, and must order a few bottles of cold beer, it is a great pleasure in life.

When we arrived at the barbecue stand, Li Nan seemed to be at his own home. He went straight to say hello to the boss, and took Feirou to find a seat. The waiter saw Li Nan, but he didn't see him, so he came over and said with a smile: "Sister Li Nan is here. I haven't seen you for a long time. What can I eat?" Just call her Xiaohan," Li Nan said while writing the menu. "Sister Xiaohan, hello, you can just call me Zhengzheng, and you can call me that way when you leave." After finishing speaking, the waiter scratched his head shyly. Maybe it was the first time he saw Feirou, and he even became nervous.Hearing the waiter greeted him, Feirou then looked at the waiter in front of him carefully. The person in front of him looks like a minor, right?Although he is a boy, his height is only about 167, his hairstyle is also a clean student head, and his eyes looking at her are clear, without any pollution from the society. His skin color is extremely white among boys, but his figure is quite good. She is thinner than other people of the same age. What Fei Rou likes the most is the small canine teeth that the boy shows when he smiles. Those pair of small canine teeth, combined with the boy's immature appearance, are unexpectedly cute.

"Hello, Zhengzheng," Feirou said simply and clearly, which was regarded as a greeting. Of course, this way of greeting was abnormal in anyone's eyes, and it was so embarrassing, but Feirou completely I don't feel it. Sometimes, Beibei can't understand Feirou's daily interpersonal relationship. This is one of the reasons why Beibei thinks Feirou is "perverted". In Beibei's words, Feirou is very smart. She is very transparent and has a good understanding of human relations. It should be said that she is familiar with it, but Feirou is not a person who likes to put her heart into it. Soft principle of doing things.Of course, when necessary, Feirou also knows how to communicate with others, just like when she first joined the company to smooth things over for Sister Li, Feirou was a little expert in interpersonal communication. Even Sister Li praised her, but the Feirou back then was no longer the real Feirou. To be precise, it should be Feirou with a mask on.

Zhengzheng didn't take Feirou's awkward way of greeting him seriously, and went directly to the kitchen with Li Nan's menu.One night, Feirou and Li Nan chatted happily, but most of the time, it was Li Nan who was talking, and Feirou was listening, occasionally responding a few words, listening to Li Nan casually scolding the company boss, complaining about the harsh assessment system, talking An interesting incident in college, but Li Nan also found that although Feirou was listening to her speech, her eyes always followed Zhengzheng who had greeted him today. In one night, wherever Zhengzheng ran, Feirou's eyes would go.A bold idea came to Li Nan's mind, and he whispered into Feirou's ear, "You don't like her, do you? Don't, you old cow doesn't eat tender grass like that, you But he's only 15 or 6 years old, and he's still a child." "No, it just feels like this waiter is working before he's an adult? I'm a little surprised," Feirou said, still following Zhengzheng with his eyes. "Well, I heard from the boss, Brother Wang, that Zhengzheng's family has a little money, but it seems that something happened. The family went bankrupt, the father fell ill, the mother left, and there were no relatives. Brother Wang felt sorry for the child, so he let He comes to help every night, which is considered a work-study program.”

No wonder, no wonder the child in front of me looks so thin, is not tall, and is dressed in simple and plain clothes. He is also a poor person who is neglected and cared for. For what happened to the child in front of me, I still think of myself, and I feel so uncomfortable in my heart, so I don't say anything anymore.Seeing Feirou like this, Li Nan thought it might be what he just said that made Feirou sympathize with Zhengzheng. While scolding himself a hundred and eight thousand times in his heart, he changed the topic with interest. After dinner, the two watched the time It was getting late, so they all went home.

But Li Nan didn't know that after she took a taxi home, Feirou turned back to the barbecue restaurant again.Barbecue restaurants at night, especially this kind of open-air roadside food stalls, have quite a lot of people, so they are naturally very lively, and they will definitely not notice that someone sneaked into the material preparation room behind the food stalls and secretly stuffed an envelope. Into a worn and clean blue schoolbag.That's right, the person who sneaked in was Feirou. After saying goodbye to Li Nan, Feirou took a taxi to the nearest ATM cash machine, took the money from the card, put it in the envelope, and went back to the barbecue shop again, and put it in the in the schoolbag.And that dilapidated but clean schoolbag is Zhengzheng's schoolbag, in which Zhengzheng's books for class during the day and Zhengzheng's unfinished homework are placed.At the same time, what was put into the schoolbag was not only a wad of money, but also a letter written by Feirou: Come on, I know that although you are tired now, you must persevere and don’t think the world is too gloomy, even if some people leave , but there are still many people who help you silently, you must persist and use your own strength to protect what you want to protect. --- Daddy-Long-Legs.

It is precisely because this boy named Zhengzheng is experiencing the pain that he has experienced, so Feirou feels the same. At that time, no one knew how helpless and confused I was. Even now, thinking about it, I feel uncomfortable She can't breathe, Feirou doesn't feel helpless, confused, and loses confidence in the world when she is facing the past. She wants Zhengzheng to know that even if someone abandons her, even if the world is dark, There is one thing where the light will penetrate the darkness and shine into your life.Even though no one could show up to help him get out of the haze in the past, but now, Feirou wants to be the person who can help Zhengzheng get out of the haze, so it can be regarded as fulfilling one of his wishes.

After coming out of the food stall, Feirou decided to take a walk home. She wanted to take advantage of the cold wind on the street at night to let her brain think about it and calm herself down. She knew that she was too emotional and impulsive just now. After all, I came back this time with a purpose, and every small move may lead to a loss in the end.Especially now when the situation is still unclear, I am like an actor dancing on the tip of a knife, every step is very painful and dangerous, let alone being emotional, but even so, Feirou does not regret what she just did practice.

On the street in the evening, the road surface illuminated by the dim street lamps, pedestrians passing by in twos and threes, the breeze blowing from time to time, Feirou's thoughts went back to that year. At that time, Feirou was not the current Feirou. Looking at Gu Xiaorou: Six years ago, when Xiaorou’s family had an accident, both parents passed away, leaving a huge company unattended. At that time, Xiaorou was only 15 years old and knew nothing at all. In the previous 15 years, Xiao Rou has been living in a beautiful fairy tale world, her family is rich, her parents love each other, Jiang Xiying, a fool who is always bullied by herself, and Leng Jianchen, who is superficially cool and secretly protects her well, are simply living in the same world. In the honeypot, but I didn’t expect; after my 15th birthday, after that incident, everything changed, the parents who loved me left, my companion Fa Xiao disappeared inexplicably, the huge company was taken over by my uncle’s family, At that time, I was terrified and extremely helpless. Every day, all kinds of people came to my door, including the police, doctors, lawyers, colleagues from my parents’ company, and even distant relatives I hadn’t seen for a long time. , Feirou didn’t know who to trust. These people were so strange to Xiaorou. The police asked Xiaorou to take notes over and over again. The doctor always sighed after checking Feirou’s body. He explained the division of property to Xiaorou, all kinds of uncles in the company tried to persuade Feirou to fight for the management of the company with rhetoric, and relatives who did not know each other greedily coveted the family property left by their parents.It was at that time that Xiaorou first understood the ugliness of human nature. Even many years later, Feirou still often dreamed about the ugly faces of those people in her dreams, and then woke up in her sleep.

Thinking about it now, at that time, there was no one around me to trust, and I dared not tell the truth to anyone. The thing I did the most was that every night, I would go to the room where my parents were alive and lie on the bed where my parents had slept. On the bed, looking at the ceiling, in a daze, thinking about the past, then crying silently, and then falling asleep crying; Feirou has experienced such nights countless times.In the end, it took more than a month for the 15-year-old Xiaorou to handle everything with the cooperation of her uncle's family. The police station closed the case quietly, her parents held a funeral, and the company finally handed over the case because Xiaorou was underage. I gave it to my uncle, but all this is just the beginning...

From now on, she is no longer Xiaorou, she has become a brand new Gu Feirou. No one knows that this name is the only right that Feirou fought for in the end. At that time, seeing the situation out of control, Feirou had no choice but to agree with her uncle's family. When taking over the company, she made only one request: to change her name from Gu Xiaorou to Gu Feirou.Since then, Feirou has accepted a completely different life. She has tried to take care of herself, lived independently, tried not to depend on anyone, and tried to give up those insignificant things.Later, she began to hide her emotions, because she knew that no one in the world was worth trusting; she worked and studied desperately, because she understood that only when she was strong could she protect what she wanted to protect; even if she was wronged, she would no longer complain, but It is to think about how to counterattack advantageously.In the end, she became Gu Feirou, aloof, cold, rational, wise, and strong. She closed her heart and kept herself in an independent inner world. She didn't contact anyone because she was afraid of her relatives leaving. Afraid of betrayal by her friends and ulterior motives of strangers, she could only wrap herself up so tightly that she would not get hurt.Feirou once read a sentence that said that life is to be injured desperately, then heal the injury, and then get injured again and again, until she rushed to the finish line; at that time, Feirou knew clearly that this sentence was not suitable for her, because she did not Injured capital, she was terrified of being hurt.

I don’t know if it’s because of recalling the past, or because the evening breeze blows for too long, Feirou feels her whole body is icy cold, that kind of cold comes from the bones, or should be called “chilling”, Feirou still takes a taxi I went home, entered the house, went straight to the bathroom, adjusted the water temperature to the highest, took a hot bath, and tried to keep warm in this way, but even after taking a hot bath, I still didn’t feel warm. Still biting cold.Feirou went to the kitchen to get a bottle of wine again, trying to numb the brain with alcohol, so as to forget the coldness of the whole body, but Feirou didn't catch a cold from alcohol, no matter how much she drank, her brain was still awake.Just like this over and over again, not knowing how much she drank or what time it was, Feirou really couldn't escape her heart, she needed to find someone, someone who made her feel warm.

In the end, she still dialed that number. She didn't know if this number still existed, after all, it had been six years.As soon as the phone rang, it was connected, "Is it Xiaorou?" Hearing this familiar yet unfamiliar voice, Feirou couldn't hold back the tears she had endured all night, and cried bitterly into the phone. Only the sound of Feirou's wailing could be heard from his head. The man seemed to be used to this kind of scene, and he said calmly, "What happened?" Feirou didn't answer, but just kept crying. Holding the mobile phone and listening quietly, one person kept crying without any words. After a while, Feirou seemed to have relieved from the emotion just now, sorted out her emotions, and tried her best to speak to her in an almost calm tone. The phone said: "Excuse me", you seem to be announcing something, it clearly shows that the distance between the two of them is now. "Have you returned to China?" The person on the other end no longer asked what happened just now, because he knew that he was not qualified to ask at all now, and the word you just now showed the relationship between the two of them now. "Yes, I'll hang up first." It seemed that saying one more word would be a torment. Feirou was eager to get rid of the current situation. After finishing speaking, she hung up the phone without waiting for a reply from the other end.

Everything today was really unexpected, and Fei Rou knew that today was a real failure, risking her identity and helping a boy she didn't know; she had been hiding for several years My emotions actually collapsed today; the most frightening thing is that when I was saddest, the person I thought of was still "him", and I even called "him".It turned out that the most trustworthy and reliable person in my heart has always been "he" and has never changed.The person who resolutely abandoned her six years ago turned out to be the person I trusted the most six years later, which was undoubtedly the biggest blow to Feirou.Six years, six years, no matter how my situation changes, the person in the deepest part of my heart has always been "he", the "he" who escaped...

Leng Jianchen, Ling Chen at 1 o'clock, in the dark study room, Leng Jianchen sat alone on the desk, staring at the photo on the desk all the time, it was a group photo, it can be seen that the time has passed, the surroundings of the photo began to turn yellow , above is a pair of children, the girl combed cute ball hair, wearing a small white dress, there is a huge bow at the skirt, holding a box of German red velvet chocolates, laughing very happily, The boy next to him was a head taller than the girl, wearing a black custom-made Armani dress and a custom-made Armani bow tie around his neck. The difference was that the boy had no expression on his face. The fleshy left hand was holding the girl tightly, as if to declare something.That's right, the photo is Xiaorou herself when she was a child. At that time, everything hadn't changed, and Xiaorou lived a happy life. At that time, Xiaorou especially liked to dress herself up as a princess. At that time, she did Live like a princess.

It was Xiaorou's birthday that day. Xiaorou loves sweets, especially chocolate. The photo shows a red velvet chocolate that she specially contacted the German haute couture factory to design and customize. There are 12 pieces in a box, representing There are 12 months in a year, which symbolizes that I accompany Xiaorou every month of the year. The chocolates of each month are also different, and they are all independently designed by myself. Of course, the taste of each month is also different, although they are all red. Velvet chocolate, but different materials are added to each chocolate, such as golden osmanthus flower petals from October in Zhejiang, sturgeon caviar from Russia, red wine from Burgundy in France, etc. The 12 chocolates are different from each other. The high-quality goods and delicacies of the products are contained in it, which represents sending the whole world to Feirou.Of course, it is impossible for Leng Jianchen to tell Xiaorou about these meanings, Xiaorou only knows that this is a gift from Jianchen's elder brother, it is a German custom-made chocolate, the taste is also good, and the price is quite considerable.

The me back then was the same as the me now, I wanted to give her the whole world, to make her happy, to give her the best, but I was not good at words, dared not express my heart, and clumsily used my own way to accompany her The difference is that back then, he at least had the opportunity to accompany Xiaorou, but now, he doesn't even have the identity to appear in front of Xiaorou.No one knows how excited he was when he just received Xiaorou's call; how tormented he was when he heard the crying on the other end of the phone; how scared he was when he wanted to ask what happened but didn't dare to ask; Similarly, no one has noticed that since receiving Xiaorou's call, Leng Jianchen's right hand has been holding the phone tightly, as if it was the only connection he had with her, once he let go, even this chance would be gone .This phone number was specially reserved by Leng Jianchen for Xiaorou. For six years, no matter how many phone numbers he changed in the six years, he never gave up this phone number. He insisted on topping up this number every month, even after six years For years, it never rang, but Leng Jianchen persisted. He didn't even know what he was insisting on, so he foolishly thought that the phone would definitely ring; today, the phone really rang, and he knew , Xiaorou must have experienced something today, she must be very sad, otherwise, she would not choose to call herself.Just like that, Leng Jianchen sat foolishly in the study for a long time, motionless, and no one knew what he was thinking. After a long time, he said to himself, "Xiao Rou, wait a little longer, I will be here soon." alright."