my naughty female president

After sitting quietly for a long time, I looked back at Mu Xichun's hair which was still wet, and then I remembered that she asked me to dry her hair, so I picked up the hair dryer again, picked up her hair, and started to blow it.

Mu Xichun turned around and returned me with a gentle smile. I knew that the misunderstanding had been resolved, and this matter was over between us. Still insisted on his own nature.

But through this incident, I understand that although I am poor and accomplished nothing, I still have something to insist on. In the big dye vat of society, I still retain a trace of my original color. After all, I am still me, which makes me somewhat grateful.

I stood behind Mu Xichun, strands of her long hair passed between my fingers, and the unique fragrance from her body made me a little fascinated.

Looking at her fair neck, I couldn't help but think that if I hadn't passed her test, I don't know where I am in this city.

Come to think of it, God is fair. You thought that your meaningless persistence made you miss a chance to get rich overnight, but you never thought that there would be better ones waiting for you in the near future!
The so-called misstep is eternal hatred, just because people can't see the future self, and the inherent lack of security makes people want to seize the immediate benefits, but it is a pity that time cannot be bent, and the future and the present cannot be put in front of them at the same time. After some comparison, the so-called human being can be summed up in just one greedy word.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Mu Xichun raised her head, blinked her big eyes, looked at me and asked.

"What's the problem?" I asked.

"At that time, you obviously got the documents, why did you suddenly change your mind? What made you give up?"

She turned around and looked at me seriously, as if this problem had troubled her for a long time.

I put down the hair dryer and remained silent for a moment, recalling what happened that day. I didn't want to tell her at first, but seeing that she wanted to know so much, it didn't hurt to tell her.

"Because at the moment I turned around, I suddenly remembered something from my childhood..."

So I told Mu Xichun exactly how my mother took me to the market to sell the eggs I had accumulated for a long time when I was a child, but someone cheated my mother of all the money with a counterfeit one hundred yuan bill.

Mu Xichun listened to my narration quietly, and when I finished, she remained silent for a long time, probably because she was still immersed in the situation of my story.

"So at that moment, you thought of your mother's advice to you when you were a child, which made you give up?"

After a long time, Mu Xichun finally opened his mouth.

I nodded speechlessly.

"You... never told me about your childhood, can you tell me about it?" Mu Xichun asked tentatively.

I sighed secretly, but her words made me fall into a long silence.

I remember telling her before that I told her not to inquire about my parents anymore. Although she just wanted to know about my childhood life, the two are obviously closely related. No one’s childhood can exist independently of their parents. Obviously Her question touched my taboo again.

But today is different from the past, she is my girlfriend now, and it is not too much to ask for such a condition, but it will undoubtedly make me fall into that unbearable memory swamp again.

"What do you want to know?"

After a long time, I finally broke the silence. With our current relationship, she will need to know these things sooner or later. Since it is inevitable that the scar will be exposed again sooner or later, it is okay to tell her now.

"I want to know everything about you, your childhood, and... your parents..."

When it comes to parents, Mu Xichun's tone becomes a little cautious, because she knows that this is where my rebellion lies.

"I remember I told you that my biological father left after I was born. He only came back to see me once when I was one year old, and then never came back again!"

I finally opened my mouth and started my narration, and the memory flooded in again, although what I said just now is not in my memory, because it is impossible for a child who has just turned one year old to remember what happened at that time, and my mother never He told me that this is the information that was connected in series from the words of the people around me after I grew up.

As far as I know, things are probably like this: one year before I was born, my grandfather was seriously ill, and it was time to prepare for the funeral.

Grandpa's last wish is to see his only son get married and continue the family tradition.

I don’t want to comment on the old-fashioned rural family concept here. For people at that time, the inheritance of blood may be the greatest meaning of life, especially when people are about to die. important.

Although my father received a higher education and should have his own views on these outdated concepts, in order to fulfill his last filial piety before his grandfather died, his father decided to meet this request of his grandfather.

So under the introduction of the villagers, my father married my mother soon and gave birth to me a year later.

The marriage of parents seems absurd, but in that era, this kind of thing was not uncommon. However, the more so the marriage that seemed to be accomplished overnight, it was often able to go to the end and accompany them for the rest of their lives.

However, when his father married his mother, he probably didn't think so long-term. Perhaps what he thought at the time was just to let his grandfather leave without regret.

Sure enough, things went as he wished, and when my mother was pregnant with me for six months, my grandfather finally became terminally ill and smiled.

Father fulfilled grandfather's last wish and fulfilled his last filial piety as a son of man.

It's just a coincidence, as the father of a high-level intellectual, how can he be like most ordinary people, how can he be willing to give up his career and settle down in his family, and spend the four seasons with an illiterate village woman?
So not long after I was born, he left my mother and me and left alone. He only came back to see our mother and child once when I was one year old.He never came back even on the anniversary of his grandfather's death.

After my father left, only my mother and I were left to depend on each other. As a rural woman with no education and no skills, my mother forcibly supported this family. It goes without saying that life was hard, but since I became sensible I knew that what my mother gave me was the limit of what she could do.

When I grew up, I thought to myself more than once, my mother was young at that time, why didn't she remarry?Instead, she chose to bear the hard work that did not belong to her, and supported her hard until the end of her life...

But I never asked my mother, because I was afraid of touching the taboo in her heart and making her sad.

But as I grew older, I gradually understood that before I was ten years old, to be precise, before the day when my mother planned to drag me to commit suicide together, my mother still believed that my father could The lucky hope of coming back, before this, probably this belief has been supporting her to survive.

On that day, the villagers brought news from far away, which shattered her belief. She finally understood that not only would her father not come back, but she would already have another family outside...

That's why the grieving mother feels desperate and thinks of seeking relief by dying.If it weren't for my words, who didn't know anything about it at the time, that changed my mother's decision, I am afraid that my mother and I would have become unclaimed corpses under the mountain stream.

After my mother took my hand back home from the hillside that night, she went to the kitchen to make dinner in silence, and after dinner, she supervised me to finish my homework as usual.

Although she didn't know a single character and didn't know whether the questions I did were right or wrong, she persisted in this habit until I entered high school. Her expression was unusually calm, no different from before, at least the I don't see any change in her.

The days went on as usual, and nothing seemed to have changed except that I couldn't understand what my mother said about taking me away.

It was not until one day many years later, when I was walking back to the dormitory after the evening self-study in high school, that I inadvertently recalled this past before I woke up.

The days of poverty did not change, but my mother’s life changed drastically that day. The motivation to support her life was no longer my father’s return, but my future.

Since then, my mother has never been demanding on me in life, but she is more concerned about my studies.

It was only after many years that I realized my mother's intentions.Although she never complained to my father in front of me, it's not that she doesn't hate him. She just wants to prove to my father and everyone that she can raise me up by herself alone. It can also cultivate me into a useful person.

I know she is angry, her silence, her tenacity, her forbearance are all angry with the man who betrayed her, even if she is betting her own life, even if it is taking her life...

So the only time in my life when I told my mother that I didn't want to go to school anymore, my mother slapped me in the face angrily.

My words made her despair, and made her feel the despair of not being understood for all her persistence and dedication.

If I drop out of school halfway, I will inevitably become mediocre in the end, then, she will completely lose to this game with no opponent, how can she be reconciled...

So before my mother died, she still warned me to study hard. This is her last request to me, and it is also the only request...

She knows that although her life is about to die, this game of gambling is not over yet, as long as I can study hard, she will be the final winner...

I generally understand that my mother has hatred in her life. In addition to hating her father's ruthlessness, she also hates herself for being illiterate and uneducated. That's why my father doesn't have the slightest attachment to her. Even though they already have their own flesh and blood, he still resolutely He left the house without even looking back.

That's why my mother passed on this regret to me. She must not let her experience happen to me again. Perhaps this is her last dignity and obsession as a mother.

As for my mother, although I lived up to her expectations, I still persisted in completing my studies after her death, and finally became a literate person in her eyes.

But I don't think I have any achievements that can make her proud. On the contrary, I have achieved the current attitude of living a life that is easy to live without seeking improvement. If my mother knew about it, she would probably be disappointed.

I spoke silently, in a flat tone, without sadness or joy.

To this day, although I still feel deeply about this memory, I have long been able to hold this feeling deep in my heart, and I will no longer feel tense every time I recall it. I know that the world will not empathize with your joy, but only If you are happy to hear and see your sorrow, showing it will only add jokes to the world, that's all.