The Queen of Romance: A Summer of Sweet Classics

Chapter 57 Incurable Disease
Because of the fracture, the process of going back to the mountains was a little more troublesome than I imagined.However, after a day, he finally returned to the mountains.The front of Yanyan's house is still green and vibrant.At the same time I got out of the car on crutches, she supported me, looked at Li Xiangnan next to me, and then at me, repeating this twice, and said, "What's the matter with you?"

I looked at the sky, and said slowly: "Your words are really revealing."

In the evening, I had a knee-to-neck talk with Yanyan.All the words that could not be said these days finally found a breakthrough, and the meaning was still lingering to the back, and Xiaguang squeezed into the room through the gap in the curtains.Yanyan pondered for a long time, and said, "But after you finished all this, don't you feel that there are some things about Gu Yanzhi that are special?"

I looked at her with blank eyes: "Huh?"

Yanyan turned over and looked at me: "I can't tell what it is. I just feel that it's not good. Gu Yanzhi repeated it so many times, I think he doesn't hate you very much in the end. He sees I don't seem like a person who is easy to compromise and waver, if one day I feel something is wrong and come to you, what will I do then?"

I said, "Hey, people say that terminal cancer patients have a smell. Did you smell it on me?"

Yanyan said, "No. Don't try to change the subject."

"It's nothing to change the subject. I asked Yan Yu only because I didn't have much time, so I could only ask him to help, and let Gu Yanzhi quickly believe that I had changed my mind and cheated. If the time is long enough, I don't have to. I can do it myself Let him believe that I had a change of heart and cheated. The result of this matter is very simple, it is to make Gu Yanzhi believe that I have cheated with a change of heart. What could be wrong with him? Yan Yu's story is tight, and my words are so ruthless, he is so proud , who betrayed his changed heart, what did he come to me for?"

Yanyan will watch me for a while.I touched my face and changed the subject: "Am I becoming ugly now? People say that bone tumors will eventually become skinny. The weight may not exceed fifty catties."

Yanyan sighed, and sat up: "Lie down for a while. I went to the mountain to dig some herbs today and stewed them for you."

I said, "It won't be of any use. Don't waste your efforts, will you?"

Yanyan said: "Those western doctors outside are useless. They only know how to take injections and medicines. How can they compare with us in the mountains. When children and adults have a fever, they will take medicines, infusions and injections. Those things have more side effects. With ours Does rolling eggs with money work? Maybe if you eat herbs, all the messy tumors and cancers will disappear. Just wait, I'll go up the mountain."

Yanyan didn't seem to hear my rhetoric to stop her. After taking care of me for breakfast, she went to the mountain with a bamboo basket on her back.I squinted and basked in the sun in front of the yard alone.From a distance, I heard Li Xiangnan seriously preaching to the children: "Debris flow is not the anger of the mountain god, it is just a natural phenomenon. Just like thunder, thunder is not the anger of the god of thunder, but a frictional discharge between clouds. Relatively speaking, a mudslide is a serious and sudden landslide with sediment and stones. What is a landslide? A landslide is a part of the rock and soil on the mountain that moves down the mountain under the action of gravity. Phenomena. What is gravity? Gravity is the attraction of the earth, and the direction is vertically downward..."

When Gu Yanzhi came back to the mountains before, no child dared to surround him and ask questions like this, let alone keep pestering him like this.His posture is not cold, on the contrary, there is always a smile on the corner of his mouth, but it is inexplicably not easy to get close to, and it is even more alienated and distant in the eyes of children.Even Yanyan once said that Gu Yanzhi is not the same as us.Even though Gu Yanzhi never clearly expressed the so-called clear distinction between the two worlds, he gave people the impression that it was so clear.

I had this feeling before living with Gu Yanzhi.After that, I don't know when it was until this feeling gradually disappeared.Later I figured it out, probably what Yanyan said was right.Gu Yanzhi and Jiang Yannan belong to the same kind of people, they both have a gentle halo on the outside, but they actually reject people thousands of miles away.Unless you are truly accepted from the bottom of your heart, the appearance of tenderness you experience is indeed an appearance, and the so-called alienation really means that they want to be alienated from you.They can turn your life upside down with a little raise of their hands, but they rarely intervene in things other than themselves.

If I think about it this way, I can marry Gu Yanzhi as I wish, and enjoy his meticulous love and pampering. This level is simply inconceivable.

From gravity to why there is gravity, Li Xiangnan was finally left speechless when asked by a group of children who did not play cards according to common sense.The latter was finally satisfied, and walked away with a proud expression on his face.I stopped one of them when they passed me: "Why didn't you go to school?"

"The teacher left a week ago. There is no one in the school." Then he ran away.

When I came back last time, the mayor and Gu Yanzhi sat together and talked about many things.Most of them were trivial matters in the town, I was worried that Gu Yanzhi would get bored, but he just listened quietly, while slowly stroking the back of my hand under the table, there was no trace of tiredness in the corners of his eyes or brows.One of the problems mentioned by the mayor is the teachers of Hope Primary School.Since the earthquake ten years ago, no one in this village has come to support education for more than two years.Most of them leave in a year or half a year. Sometimes when the mountains are closed by heavy snow in winter and there is no teacher, the children will not study for as long as half a year.Then I mentioned my father again.It is really not easy for my father to stay in such a poor place for more than ten years.

Every time I go back to the mountains over the years, I can always see some sacrifices placed in front of my father's tomb.They are all from the older generation of villagers in this town.The three words Du Sicheng gradually spread in this village and became a legend of some sort.They don't know how much a painting by Du Sicheng can be sold for outside the mountains. They only know that there is such a person who came to the mountains more than 20 years ago to teach people to read, save people from diseases, and finally sacrificed his life in the earthquake. Dozens of children were rescued.In their eyes, the word gratitude has a lot of meaning.

Every time I come back to the mountains these years, I always receive a lot of courtesy from many old people.It has nothing to do with Gu Yanzhi, who brought donations and supplies by the way every time, but they are repaying the kindness and virtue that his father once gave.

I always feel that my father is always watching me silently.He never speaks in his dreams, but often appears in his dreams with a quiet and peaceful smile.Except for bone cancer in these years, everything I encountered was good luck.Including meeting Gu Yanzhi, being liked by him, and marrying him.Compared to other people around me, I always go my way.Even if there is a little twist, the ending is often ten times better than the twist.Such happiness, I always vaguely feel that it comes from the invisible blessing of my father.

On the third day after arriving in the mountains, Li Xiangnan and I started teaching the children in the town.The location is in the open space in front of Yanyan courtyard.A few benches, a few corner tables, a blackboard and some chalk.I am in charge of Chinese and mathematics in the first three grades of primary school, and Li Xiangnan is in charge of language and mathematics in the fourth, fifth and sixth grades of primary school.After such a day, Li Xiangnan and I finally basically got rid of the title of the only two young people in the town who have nothing to do with production.

Once after school, a little girl ran over to ask a math problem.He didn't leave after asking, and looked up at me: "Teacher Du."

"what?"

"What is the relationship between Mr. Li Xiangnan and you?"

"He is my classmate, and also the teacher who came to the mountains to teach you knowledge this summer."

She said, "Why didn't you see Uncle Gu come with you this time?"

My movements stopped, and then I replied quite smoothly and naturally: "He is busy."

She let out an oh, and her eyes seemed to emit a little yearning light: "I heard that you are going to get married this year, isn't it?"

"..."

I couldn't find a suitable answer for a while.I heard Li Xiangnan's voice behind me: "You, Mr. Du and Uncle Gu, have already registered, but there is only one wedding missing. What is registration? Registration means that a man and a woman who meet the legal age of marriage go to the marriage registration office to register Procedures, only after registration, marriage will have legal effect. What does registration have to do with marriage? Registration means that a man and a woman get married and become husband and wife. Just holding a wedding ceremony is not the same as marriage..."

The last bit of spring this year passed slowly in the ordinary days in the mountains.

I have to be fed a lot of herbs by Yanyan every day.And being fed a lot of western medicine by Li Xiangnan.This situation lasted for about half a month, and I basically felt like vomiting when I saw the medicinal soup and pills from a distance.Once when I was struggling to swallow the pills, a child saw me and asked me with wide eyes: "Mr. Du, what's wrong with you?"

I groaned and said, "Incurable disease."

"What is an incurable disease?"

I said it in a pleasant manner: "It is a disease that can be cured without treatment."

Li Xiangnan said coolly on the side: "Du Wan, don't mislead your son."

It has been nearly a month since I left T City, and it has entered June in the mountains, and it has started to rain frequently.There are often lightning and thunder, as if they can split the house.My bone pain got worse and I couldn't sleep.Li Xiangnan called Yan Yu, who had already returned to City A, and said that this is the case with advanced cancer. Of course, there are also examples of pain disappearing suddenly, but that probably means brain metastasis of the tumor.Yan Yu told Li Xiangnan that he could ask me which one I would like to choose.Then Li Xiangnan hung up the phone in silence.

Li Xiangnan's medical skills have advanced by leaps and bounds during this period. After a few failures, he can already inject analgesics by himself with the syringe he brought.There was clearly identifiable anxiety and haggardness on his face, and he was obviously experiencing the same insomnia and dreaminess as me every day.It's just that the reasons are different.

In this way, I think my mentality should be more peaceful than that of Li Xiangnan.After leaving T city, I can think of Gu Yanzhi unscrupulously.Occasionally share the sweetness with Yanyan.There is no Internet access in the mountains, but there are photos of Gu Yanzhi in my mobile phone and computer, and I have carefully preserved Gu Yanzhi's voice in the recorder Yan Yu gave me.In addition, there are interviews about Gu Yanzhi that I downloaded from the Internet before I left T City.

I told Yanyan carefully what happened in these years.Those things that used to feel painful when playing in T City suddenly became effective analgesics now.

Among them, I often think of Gu Yanzhi's appearance in the mountains for the first time.At that time, the mayor prepared the best dinner and accommodation for him. At the age of 11, I thought that could be called a luxury.It wasn't until I went to T City that I realized that Gu Yanzhi's life was a thousand times more glamorous than those in the mountains.Those who spend a lot of money, are quietly rich, and attract attention with their gestures are far from comparable to the remote mountains where roads are blocked by heavy snow in winter and floods are flooded in summer. Everything in T City is like a flawless mirror, which is dazzling when it is turned slightly.That is where Gu Yanzhi is most skillful.

Later, I finally really noticed this world of difference.He ran to ask Gu Yanzhi if he felt unhappy and resigned during the few days in the mountains, or even felt that he had read a joke, and said this with an affirmative tone.At that time, I was not as tall as his shoulders, and when I looked up, I could see his long, dark golden eyelashes paved with sunlight.There was a smile at the corner of his mouth, and the side lines were soft. He stretched out his hand, stroked my hair, and said softly: "But there is such a beautiful little girl hidden there, isn't there? I don't suffer a little."

The person I have been looking up to and relying on for more than ten years can speak the most heartfelt words in the world.Familiar with and indulge my every awkwardness and little secret.He has taught me to grow little by little patience.Give me everything I want, and sometimes unexpected surprises.His promises were never kept.He used to focus on the future, and with a gentle and strong attitude, he planned to accompany me until I grow old.

I wish he could do the same this time.

According to Yan Yu's calculations, I probably have two more months to live.At this point, I realized that it was unnecessary to endure such thick plaster and bandages for ankle fractures.I woke up one day and found that my entire leg was basically unable to move. Since then, I have been living a semi-paralyzed life as a last resort.It was just too much torture.In particular, Li Xiangnan took over all the teaching activities, and I was not even allowed to help him with his homework. I could only watch the sun rise and set every day, which was really long.

After two or three days like this, when I fell asleep one evening, I heard the sound of rain beating outside the window.In the early hours of the morning, I was suddenly woken up by Yanyan pushing me hard, and I heard her anxiously shouting in a daze: "It's flooding, get up quickly! The mudslide is coming!"

I woke up suddenly.

A high-pitched horn was heard outside.The voice was rough and rapid, and it was the voice of the mayor who was already a little old.The room was pitch black, and I tried to pull the switch wire at the head of the bed, only to find that the power had been cut off.At the same time Yanyan turned on the flashlight, a figure rushed in.Li Xiangnan groped to the side of the bed and knocked over a thermos in a hurry: "Du Wan? Du Wan?"

Escape is most important at this time.Li Xiangnan picked me up and ran outside with Yanyan.I saw the faint light of a flashlight on a high ground not far away, and the sound of the mayor's horn came from there.Yanyan climbed up the hillside in a few steps, and Li Xiangnan followed behind her. Occasionally, she slipped and slipped down a few steps involuntarily.I heard his breathing a little short, which shows that although I am a little thin now, my bones still have some weight.It is already very troublesome to escape alone in this situation, and now Li Xiangnan has to bring me a burden.I thought about it, and said to him seriously: "Why don't you put me down and go up by yourself first. Anyway, I won't live long, and there is no difference between today and two months later."

Li Xiangnan grabbed the branch with all his might, took one last step up the hillside, and trotted behind Yanyan.He turned his head halfway: "I should have brought some fresh water just now." Then he added casually, "Don't say stupid things."

The mountain torrents flowed over the low ground, one wave after another, mixed with sticks and mud and stones in the turbidity.When we gathered around the mayor, it was still raining and we were soaked and cold.Watching the water level get higher and higher.Some houses were slowly submerged, trees drifted down from the upper reaches, children were crying, and adults looked dignified.The mayor's face was old and calm, he hunched slightly and directed everyone to get close together.This is already the highest place in the town, but the area is not big enough. There are many young and strong young people standing one person taller than us.

When I was very young, I saw a mudslide once.It's just that the memory is far away and not very clear.The only thing I remember is that my father was like these silent and tall young people now, standing in a low place, leaving the high place for the elderly, children and women.I wanted to go down and ask my father to come up, but my mother held my hand tightly, not allowing me to move a step.Fortunately, it was too early for the rain to stop, so many houses in the town were damaged, and no one was missing or died.Later my father told me that it was his responsibility to stand there.

Li Xiangnan also wanted to go down, but was grabbed by the mayor and held in place.Yanyan said to him from the side: "You are a distinguished guest in the town, you can't go down."

I said, "You will be able to catch mudslides when you come to the mountains for the first time. You will be lucky if you survive, Li Xiangnan."

He looked at me and finally said, "You too."

He didn't have the confidence to say this himself, so I didn't bother to argue with him.The rain is pouring without stopping, and it is this kind of early morning time when the night seems to be unable to touch the light, which is easy to make people have bad associations.During the long and dark wait, someone was more anxious than me and asked the mayor loudly: "When will the rain last? What shall we do next?"

The mayor squinted his eyes and answered simply: "Wait for the dawn."

At first, the rain just didn't reach the ankles of the young people below, and then it gradually covered the calves and even the knees.Yanyan's husband was below, and she was so anxious that she kept looking down.His brows were furrowed tightly.Because I couldn't stand up, I curled up in a ball on the hillside, and Li Xiangnan squatted down to take care of me. The two of us occupied the area of ​​four people.The rain still seems to be endlessly overflowing.The sound of wind and rain is all around my ears, and I can't see the sign of dawn.After a while, I grabbed the mayor's trousers, looked at him and said, "Mayor, let me go down. Two people come up."

Sure enough, he saw the mayor frowning: "What nonsense!"

I said in a relaxed tone, "I'm not talking nonsense. The water has covered their calves, and if it goes down, it will probably wash them away. You see, I have a terminal illness, and I don't have much life anyway. It rained so much again today." , Even if you are not washed away by the flood, you will still have a fever when you turn back. As a cancer patient, if you toss to the point of fever, you will be two or three days away from death. Even if you don’t die in two or three days, you will die in two months. Instead of letting me survive today, you might as well let other people survive. Turning back, the young and middle-aged people of the two families survived because of me, which can be regarded as accumulating virtue for myself. You turn back and ask people to put my tombstone away from me It would be nice if father was closer. What do you think?"

The mayor replied with a cold face: "I said no."

I said: "If my father were here now, he would agree with me to do this. If you don't let me go down, then I will jump into the flood from here." I struggled to move, and was caught by the mayor and Li Xiangnan Qiqi pressed down.Li Xiangnan said in a hoarse voice: "Du Wan, you are going down under my nose now, what do you want me to do?"

I said, "Sooner or later, I will die under your nose. Either today, or in the next few days. What's the difference? Compared with dying from illness, isn't it more meaningful to save people and die?"

After all, I went down to the high ground under Li Xiangnan's nose.He couldn't stop me, so he wanted to come down with me, and was firmly held down by the mayor.I heard his rambling pleading words, avoided his gaze, and moved down little by little.Fortunately, only one leg was paralyzed, and the other was able to move.Soon Yanyan's husband and another young man were replaced.The ground under my feet is a little slippery, and I have to be careful to stand still.But I clearly know that even if I do this, I will soon be unable to stand still, and the water flowing through my calf is more turbulent than I imagined.

I overestimated my physical strength.Not long after supporting it, I felt dizzy.There is still no light in the sky.The wind and rain fluttered on his face.I reeled there, gasping for breath.If it weren't for the person next to me holding my hand, I'm afraid I would have fallen headlong.I started counting down from ten to one.It has come to this point, when I count to one, I will let go no matter what, so as not to cause anyone any more trouble.

I counted to six absently.Then five.Then came four.While thinking about ending my life in this way, it was much better than I expected.The process of waiting to die is not as scary as I imagined.Instead it's surprisingly calm.It's not bad for time to stand still.Will never go forward again.

I let go of my fingers on the count of two.Close your eyes and count to one.Then zero.

The moment he was about to let go, he suddenly heard a rattling sound of a motor.

I opened my eyes and looked up following the sound.The dark sky suddenly burst into light.Two helicopters appeared in the sky at unknown times.With the strong and sharp sound of the engine, it approached from far away quickly and steadily.

I heard trembling cheers from the crowd.The cabin door was quickly opened.Someone descended on a dangling rope.I vaguely saw the familiar slender figure of that person, and then gradually saw the light-colored shirt and dark-colored windbreaker inside his lifejacket.He was getting closer and closer, until he was right in front of my eyes, just an arm's length away from me, and I saw that calm and calm face with all-too-familiar good-looking eyebrows and eyes.

At that moment, I felt that everything around me became clear and bright.

The next moment I was hugged tightly by a hug.The strength seemed to be embedded in his bones, making it difficult for me to breathe.Not long after, a kiss was printed on the already wet forehead.I heard him call Wanwan.

I hummed lightly.With a thick nasal sound.Tears fell down with the rain.

Slowly closing his eyes, resting his chin on Gu Yanzhi's shoulder, he didn't want to say anything, and he didn't want to think about anything.The person who hugged me tightly is so powerful and omnipotent.Appearing in front of me so calmly, it was like a god descending from the sky.He can fix anything.I don't need to exert any strength, just leaning on him so relaxedly.

Before the consciousness fell into a blur, I felt a peace of mind that I had never had before.

……

I had a long dream.

In the dream, light and shadow float faintly.There are figures and footsteps.There is a warm touch coming from the hand being held.There are dense kisses constantly falling on the forehead and eyes.A deep voice was always in my ears: "Wanwan, wake up."

This feeling is so comfortable that it makes people unable to open their eyes lazily.I vaguely heard a low-pitched conversation, saying that it was impossible, but there was always a way.After a long time, I finally woke up.Then I looked around, feeling in a trance that I was still in a dream.

The decoration in the room is elegant and quiet.The wall clock on the wall goes quietly.I was held loosely in Gu Yanzhi's arms.He rested his chin with one hand, undid the second collar button of his shirt, and rubbed my back with the other hand.I can feel his steady breathing.There is also his body temperature, and a faint familiar refreshing breath.

I blinked and blinked again.Still can't get back to God.So he closed his eyes again, and murmured knowingly: "I'm dreaming."

Picking up his finger, he bit it lightly, and a casual voice said, "Wanwan, you're not dreaming."

I said, "But you are hugging me to sleep."

He said, "Don't you like sleeping with you?"

I said: "I like it, but..."

My words stopped abruptly.Finally recovered from the fugue state.With a cry, he raised his head abruptly.

Gu Yanzhi looked calm and calm: "Are you thirsty? Do you want to drink water?"

I nodded in a daze.Watching him get out of bed, pour a glass of water, and walk back.Gu Yanzhi put the rim of the glass close to my mouth, the water temperature was just right, and watched me drink the glass until it bottomed out.Then he asked, "Another drink?"

I shook my head again.I watched him put the water glass aside, then went back to bed, put his arms around my waist, and closed his eyes, as if he was closing his eyes and falling asleep.I followed him and closed my eyes.After a while, I opened my eyes again, still a little bit unbelievable.Finally, he simply sat up straight: "You..."

It's not that he didn't think about Gu Yanzhi's possible reaction if things were exposed one day.But it basically does not include his current appearance, which seems to be naturally and coherently connected with the way I got along with before I went to City A. All the things that happened in the past two months have been skipped, as if they did not exist at all.

He opened his eyes, and kissed my hair lazily: "Are you tired?"

"..." I stared at him, let out a breath after a while, "It's okay."

"Want to get up?"

"Gu Yanzhi," I summoned up the courage to look at him, "We're already divorced, right?"

He looked at me and said calmly: "In fact, it is true."

"Then why are you here?"

He said, "This is T City."

"..."

There was a moment of silence in the room.

"So," I said bravely, "you know all about it, don't you? Otherwise you wouldn't be in the mountains, would you?"

He said, "What do I know?"

I suddenly felt a little sore: "This is a hospital, you must know what disease I have by now, right? You must hate my self-assertion in your heart, that's why you are so indifferent to me, right? Don't you Do you think I'm not sensible at all now? But I didn't mean to lie to you, and I don't want to see you and Ye Jin together. It's a good way. After all, I'm going to leave, I want you to feel less sad. But I don't want you to forget me. Look, am I being selfish?"

Big tears fell down and couldn't stop.I was in the mountains for more than a month, and my bone pain was unbearable. I scratched several sheets in Yanyan's house, and I didn't shed a single tear.But now I can't bear it at all.

It's like being strong in front of Gu Yanzhi, who can easily remove all pretense.

He moved slightly, leaned over, and kissed my wet eyelashes, every stroke seemed to have some lingering meaning.I said: "Why did you suddenly know this? Yan Yuming told me that he could keep it from you for the rest of his life. You make me feel very frustrated now, okay? And you will make me feel that it is all mine Because of this, we wasted two months of time between us. I don’t have much time, and it’s a pity that half of it was wasted in vain. If I had known that you would not be shaken, I I will definitely not let Yan Yu do this. But now you are coming so suddenly, what do you want me to do?"

After speaking, the words were blurred due to choking.Gu Yanzhi wiped the water from the corner of my eyes with his thumb: "It's not selfish. I don't hate you either."

Sobbing, I said, "Then you must be mad at me."

"I do not have."

"I don't believe it."

"I don't." His eyes were dark, as if there were stars in them, and his voice was low and slow, "I know it's all because you love me."

He said these three words easily.He knew it all, and believed it, without any further explanation from me.

I was stunned for a moment, then threw myself into his arms, hugged his waist tightly, and cried loudly.

The back was rubbed over and over again, and warm kisses fell on the ears and cheeks, and Gu Yanzhi whispered comforting words.After a long time, the tears stopped slightly, and I heard him say: "Wanwan, we will not only have two months left. All problems can be solved, I will find a way, and things will always turn around. You once said But, I can do anything, can't I?"

"When did I tell you that you are omnipotent..." I retorted subconsciously, pondered for a while, then raised my head, "You eavesdropped on my conversation with Li Xiangnan!"

Gu Yanzhi's expression remained unchanged and he said: "Li Xiangnan told me himself."

"How could he tell you that he doesn't like you at all!"

Gu Yanzhi said lightly: "Really? It just so happens that I don't like him either."

The room was so quiet, with a thin layer of light coming through the curtains.I was gently held in Gu Yanzhi's arms, he half-supported the corners of his forehead, with a slight smile at the end of his eyes, and slowly stroked my back with one hand.No matter what happened, it was always so calm and calm.

I can't deny that I really like this feeling.Can't wait for time to stand still at this moment, or to grow old together in an instant.I just want to be closer to Gu Yanzhi, closer, to properly collect every expression, movement, and even body temperature of Gu Yanzhi, and perfectly remember it.Sometimes I hope to get into the bottom of his heart and occupy his most important position majestically.It is best to be unbreakable, unattainable, and I can never be replaced.

I lowered my head, slowly clenched the skirt of his shirt, and exerted strength on my upper body.Groping a little closer to his face, trying to be as calm as possible.Then raised his head in the last few centimeters, and kissed his lips quickly and hard as if catching prey.

I didn't grasp the strength well, and my teeth hit his lower lip all at once.Soon Gu Yanzhi let out a low "huh".I suspect he is frowning, but I don't want to just let go, put my arms around his neck, trying to kiss back like he used to kiss.However, I feel that my technical level is not enough, and I can't kiss properly for a long time. I can't pry his teeth open, and I don't have the courage to tease him with the tip of my tongue.And soon feel weak and weak.Finally, a little bit annoyed and began to shrink back, he grabbed his waist and carried it back.

It is very fast to be turned into a customer.The back of the head was held by the palm, and the tip of the tongue was hooked into the mouth, sucking heavily.There is no doubt.Half of the groan that came out between snorts was swept back by him.The darkness in front of him made all this happen all the more clearly.The mouth began to be sucked painfully, until the eyes gradually became white, and finally let go, gasping for breath.There was a slight smile in Gu Yanzhi's voice: "Like this?"

I immediately denied: "No, I don't like it very much!"

He laughed and said, "I don't agree with what I say."

I was hugged loosely by him.The surroundings are so peaceful, and the veil-like sunlight passing through the curtains is slowly fermenting.After a while, I whispered, "Have I been in a coma for a long time?"

He said casually: "Three and a half days."

I was silent for a while, and asked tentatively, "Hey, to be honest...how on earth did you notice something was wrong? How did you know that I was in danger?"

He hummed and said, "People in the town are fine, and there are no reports of missing or injured. Li Xiangnan has returned to his own home and is not injured."

"I don't think your answer matches the question..."

Gu Yanzhi continued: "Yanyan is fine too. She told me to tell you that you should obediently cooperate with the treatment and don't think too much about it."

I seriously reminded him: "Your answer still doesn't quite match the question."

Gu Yanzhi was silent for a moment, and finally said in a low voice, "Wanwan, we've been together for so many years. I can't believe that you don't love me."

I opened my mouth and looked up at him, suddenly I didn't know what to say, I just felt a little jealous, and hugged him tightly.A lock of hair behind the ear was wrapped around his fingers twice, and the corner of Gu Yanzhi's lips smiled slightly: "After sleeping for so long, are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?"

I groaned, and after a while, the voice muffled from his clothes: "I'm not very hungry."

In fact, I feel a little hungry, but I don't want to move at all.I just want to hold him like this, and feel that this is what I want to do most now.And Gu Yanzhi also cooperated without moving.His hands pressed against my back, the warmth of his palms was just right, he hugged me close to him.The surroundings sank into silence again, and even the breathing was so shallow that it seemed unheard.Only the light from the window turned slowly on the bed.

After an unknown period of time, I raised my head, looked at him, and asked earnestly, "Who did you know that I went to the mountains?"

Gu Yanzhi said: "I thought you would ask about Ye Jin immediately."

I groaned, turned my gaze away, and said as calmly as possible: "You can say what you want to say about her. It doesn't matter if you don't want to. Anyway, I don't really care." The end of my eyes swept across his expression that turned into a half-smile, Stuffed her neck, finally couldn't help it, and whispered, "You gave her a necklace. You also accompanied her to a banquet, wine, charity gala, and you let her be so, so close to you!"

"The necklace is her money. I have been to four banquets, receptions and charity galas in total. To be honest, I didn't know why Ye Jin was there before. I only found out the reason why Yan Yu was active in it in the past few days."

I always suspected that when Gu Yanzhi said the word Yanyu, there was some gnashing of teeth in his tone, but he had completely restrained his emotions in the blink of an eye, and I even suspected that it was just my own hallucination.I heard him say again: "I asked the housekeeper to bring the porridge." After finishing speaking, he was about to get up.

I grabbed his sleeve and didn't want him to leave. I looked at him without blinking: "Aren't you going to the company today?"

I heard him say lightly: "Until you recover from illness, I will not go anywhere else. I will always be with you."

I didn't have a very specific idea of ​​the consequences of "not going to other places" that Gu Yanzhi said, until Gu Yanzhi's secretary came to the ward the next day, brought a thick stack of documents, and spent an hour reporting the situation The results of a series of meetings that Gu Yanzhi failed to attend for a few days.Some things seemed urgent and needed to be dealt with by Gu Yanzhi personally and immediately, but he just hummed without intending to pay attention to them at all.After a while, Gu Yanzhi went out to answer the phone. The secretary looked at me and smiled: "Does Miss Du feel better?"

"It's okay." I said, "From the dates you mentioned just now, has Gu Yanzhi not been to the company for a long time?"

She thought for a while and said, "Mr. Gu made a sudden decision to go to City A six days ago, and soon asked me to book a flight ticket from City A to Chengdu. After arriving in Chengdu, he immediately went to the mountains. The result was that he was caught by the heavy rain. Stop it. Fortunately, Mr. Gu managed to contact the helicopter dispatcher, he arrived in time, and everyone is fine." She smiled and said, with a very sincere look, "Miss Du survived the earthquake and mudslides unharmed. There will be great fortune."

I don't intend to embarrass her, but I feel that her words are a bit broad, which can't help but make people smile a bit: "There are only two months left, what does Dafu refer to?"

Her tone was very affirmative: "Even in the advanced stage, there are cases of being cured. There are reports in the newspapers that teenage boys with advanced bone cancer are still alive, aren't they? As long as the mind is calm and natural, there is always There will be a day of recovery."

I said: "But Yan Yu also made it clear to me two months ago that even with the most advanced treatment, I only have four months left to live."

Some frustrating words have actually been lingering all the time, but I just don't want to say them to Gu Yanzhi.For example, my life will end in the last part of this summer.Even though Gu Yanzhi directly and resolutely denied this conclusion, it is still difficult for me to maintain confidence.I naturally hope that a miracle will happen, but it is undeniable that the probability of a pessimistic fact is tens of millions of times that a miracle will happen.No one can ignore this cruel ending, even if I trust Gu Yanzhi more than anyone else, I trust all the promises and words he has made.But this time, I can only believe that his words are a false comfort.

A mere life, no matter what, is no match for the sharp scythe of the god of death.Even though Gu Yanzhi is omnipotent, he still has to accept his fate.

However, the secretary smiled, and gave me a calm answer: "Dr. Yan? Since Dr. Yan swore that the mind control technique that successfully intervened in Gu Dong has been proved to be a complete failure, then his medical skills in other places are also unnecessary. It has been enshrined as an imperial decree, isn't it?"

I said:"……"

Then she pursed her lips and smiled again, her expression became more and more indifferent: "Miss Du will see Dr. Yan again in the future, please don't let him know what I said."

I said again: "..."

The door of the ward was pushed open, revealing Gu Yanzhi's pretty face. He raised his eyebrows and asked, "What are you talking about? Would you like to have steamed mandarin fish for lunch today?"

I said, "There is a kid next door who has the same illness as me and eats scrambled eggs with tomatoes for lunch today." After a pause, I looked at him sincerely, "Can I eat this too?"

"When did you deal with the kid next door?"

"Just this morning, when you went out." He said and raised the mobile phone in his hand, "We also exchanged contact information."

Gu Yanzhi looked at me and smiled: "If I remember correctly, the guy next door seems to be a boy?"

"Ah, that's right, he's a boy. He's just a freshman in high school, and his name is Qu Huabai." I said, "It's only one word different from that revolutionary martyr. Isn't it easy to remember?"

"It's hard to hear." He came over, "That boy seems to have just had an operation, so don't disturb him. What were you talking about this morning?"

"Oh, he said he had a girlfriend before, who was a model and looked better than me."

"He's talking nonsense." Gu Yanzhi sat down on the edge of the bed, put his fingers on the quilt, and said casually, "There is something wrong with this Qu Hebai's vision. It's no wonder he only has an ex-girlfriend and no current girlfriend. He will say that again next time." , you just say that you have a husband whose ability, family background and looks are hundreds of times better than him."

"That's what I said, but he said he didn't believe it."

"You call him over in the afternoon and talk face-to-face."

We were talking in such an inconspicuous conversation, it could be seen that Gu Yanzhi's secretary was suppressing a smile, and she left quietly after a while.There was a pile of documents she left on the coffee table, and Gu Yanzhi didn't intend to look through them.I lay on Gu Yanzhi's lap and started a discussion about what to eat for lunch. The result of the discussion was to ask someone to bring me tomato scrambled eggs and steamed mandarin fish.

Most of the time we spent together before was spent peacefully and gently in this way.Nothing big, just little things.Ye Xunxun once asked Gu Yanzhi and me what we could talk about. She said that in her eyes, Gu Yanzhi was a flower on a high mountain, and she couldn't imagine a situation where such a person would ask others what they want to eat three times a day.I said at the time that Gu Yanzhi did not invite you to dinner, you should have seen him ask such a question, Ye Xunxun asked me seriously: "Is that so? But when I think about it later, I think it should be hallucination."

I said:"……"

The chef in Gu Zhai is very good at Cantonese cuisine, and the steamed mandarin fish is delicious.Gu Yanzhi picked the fishbone aside and fed me bite by bite with chopsticks.I tried to swallow it, but found it futile after a while.When Qu Huabai chatted with me this morning, he also said that he didn’t eat breakfast or dinner yesterday. I actually felt the same way when I heard it.

Patients with advanced cancer basically have a weak spleen and stomach, and it is normal for them to be unable to swallow.But bone tumors are a nutrient depletion, and if you don't eat them, you will only lose weight.Yan Yu emphasized this point to me a long time ago, but it is one thing to be rational, and another thing to actually follow the doctor's advice.

I took two bites absent-mindedly, and found it hard to swallow any more.Switched to fighting dashi.After a while, I didn't want to drink any more fish soup, but I still gritted my teeth and drank the whole bowl.In the end, I felt that this series of movements despite the difficulties had exhausted the energy I had accumulated for the day.I closed my eyes and leaned against the head of the bed, just wanting to sleep. After a while, I felt the edge of the bed sinking slightly. Gu Yanzhi lifted the blanket and lay on his side, gently stroking my back with his palm.

Since our reunion, he has concealed all the emotions associated with being sad very well.His eyes were calm and unwavering, his expression was unremarkable, and he looked lightly like I just had a cold and a fever.But I know he's not really like that.When I woke up due to bone pain in the middle of the night last night, I just had a little shortness of breath, and I asked him to open his eyes at once. When I turned on the light, I saw that his eyes were very clear, as if he was not asleep at all.When he came close to hug me to comfort me, I clearly saw the bloodshot eyes clearly discernible.

That was the last thing I ever wanted to see happen.

A little cold and fever can pretend to be very painful, and by the way, it requires a little extra willfulness. If you use Ye Xunxun's words, it is only natural for girls to act like this.This is fun.But when the real pain comes, it's the other way around, and I don't want to see Gu Yanzhi worrying.Since I have been in unavoidable pain and then died, I don't want to watch other people follow along helplessly.

When Gu Yanzhi went to talk to the doctor at noon today, I found a new medical record in the bedside drawer.It clearly stated that the bone cancer was stage four, and the malignant tumor had metastasized to the lungs.Gu Yanzhi's secretary said that there may not be miracles in this world.But the matter of miracles is like the 90.00% that often exists outside of [-]% [-] in academics.Such a small probability is only to ensure academic accuracy, and the fact that the word miracle can be said actually means that I am already terminally ill, and apart from that little miracle, I can only wait for death.

Such a fact cannot but be said to be cruel.

The room was quiet for a while, and when I was almost falling asleep, I heard Gu Yanzhi call my name softly.In response, he paused for a moment and said in a low voice, "The morning after tomorrow, shall we have radiation therapy?"

I wake up quickly.

Opening his eyes, he saw his long eyelashes drooping down.He added: "It won't hurt. It's just that I might feel a little weak. Okay?"

When I woke up this morning, I took a good look at myself in the mirror in the bathroom.His eyes were lifeless, his cheeks were dull, and the hospital gown was loosely worn on his body, and he could hold his upper arm with a single stretch of hand.

Then I remembered that I had a good appetite a few months ago, and I spent more than half a month eating and drinking with Ye Xunxun, but then stepped on the scale, Ye Xunxun gained four kilograms, and I lost weight One kilogram.At that time, I was very proud to tell Ye Xunxun that I was gifted with an extraordinary physique, and told her not to be too envious, but now that I recall it, I understand what is a grassy snake line.There are always signs of everything.

From then to now, the effect of advanced cancer has been highlighted at an exponential rate.

I was silent for a while.The wall clock in the room vibrates once and for all.Gu Yanzhi was always waiting for my answer.After a while, he finally said in a low voice: "I heard that many red lines will be drawn on the face during radiotherapy."

He replied softly: "That was in the past, but not now."

I was silent for a while, and said, "It's okay to do chemotherapy. But..."

"But?"

I squeezed my palms and raised my head: "After I finish chemotherapy, can you stop watching it?"

He looked at my expression very carefully, and after a while, his voice became softer and softer: "Worried that you will become unattractive?"

Tears welled up in his eyes when he said it out: "...I have become ugly now, I can't deny this fact. After radiotherapy, there will definitely be chemotherapy and various treatments. I It will become less and less energetic and uglier. No matter what happens in the future, I don’t want you to see me like this. So, can you stop watching?”

He came close and hugged me tightly.Kiss my forehead, touch my back up and down, and murmur some comforting words.After a while, he finally calmed down, and heard his deep voice: "Don't think about it. Don't think so much."

I groaned, grabbed his hand, and took a low breath.Listen to him say again: "Do you want to tell a story?"

He always does this these days, telling stories before bed.The content is generally related to people I know, and it is all insider secrets, including the real reasons that the news media can't even think of.All kinds of things were said so nonchalantly by him.The voice is slightly low, as if it can drip water softly.At first I was thinking about radiotherapy, but I didn’t feel sleepy. After an unknown period of time, my eyelids gradually became heavy. I heard his voice seem to be getting farther and farther away, and only the hands that were patted on the back regularly were very close.

I dreamed of my father again in a trance.

This time the dream was clearer than ever.You can clearly see the surrounding scenery, the clothes he wears, every inch of his face, and even the fine lines in the corners of his eyes.I seem to be the same stature as I was more than ten years ago, and I can't reach his shoulders when I'm around him.I can even touch his fingers very clearly in my dream, feeling a little cool.I called him in my dream: "Dad, can you talk to me?"

I shouted twice, his lips moved, but he didn't speak after all.

In these years, every time I went to the mountains to visit the grave, I always went with my parents.However, I dream about my father far more often than my mother.Maybe it has something to do with being closer to my father when I was young, maybe it's something else.However, I can still remember when I was carried on his shoulders and ran around when I was young, I childishly opened my arms, trying to catch the wind.This scene also appeared in the dream.But every time I dream of him when it has nothing to do with memory, he always won't speak, and it's the same this time.The difference is that I could see his vague smile in the past, but this time his eyes were clear and there was no smile, but he just looked at me silently, faintly worried.

I gripped his hand tighter and tighter.It's a little bit of a prank.After a while, he said, "If you don't talk, I won't let you go."

He seemed to sigh, stretched out his hand, and touched the top of my hair like he did when he was a child.His eyes were gentle and encouraging, but he still didn't speak.When doing this, his figure began to become blurred in the dream, and I became more and more anxious, and tears were about to fall: "Don't go, okay? Dad, I'm very scared. Can you tell me, this time Can I still live? Have I really used up all my blessings in advance? I don't want to leave here, Dad, I don't want to leave, can I?"

I gripped his fingers harder and harder, but still couldn't stop his figure from blurring to disappearing.Finally I was the only one left.Looking around in circles, I couldn't find anything.Heartbroken to the extreme, trembling all over, finally woke up.

After being ill, even having nightmares is not as free as before.After taking a few deep breaths, I felt dizzy and nauseous.I was alone in the room.The door of the suite next door was not closed tightly, and a low-pitched conversation could be heard.After distinguishing between them for a moment, I recognized that they were Gu Yanzhi and Lan Shi.After listening intently for a while, Lan Shi said, "I heard that you have been contacting the West for donations these two days? Gu Yanzhi suddenly scattered his family wealth in order to change his lover's life. If this kind of superstitious news is exposed, you It also provided half a month's rations for the entire news industry in T City."

"You're always well-informed."

Lan Shi smiled lightly: "I heard that a new method of suppressing tumors has been developed recently abroad. If possible, you might as well try it."

After a moment of emptiness in the conversation, Gu Yanzhi spoke with a slightly hoarse voice: "I was wondering if I caused all of this. Didn't the fortune tellers say that people with special horoscopes will restrain the people around them. For me, Both parents died young, Du Wan was still so young, and she had only stayed with me for more than ten years, and she suddenly encountered this kind of disease. This should not have happened."

Lan Shi said, "Don't think too much. If you need my help, just ask."

After a while, their conversation ended.Before Gu Yanzhi came back to the ward, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.I felt him half-bent down, his eyes wandering around my face, after a while, he suddenly laughed, hooking a few fingers on my chin: "How long do you want to pretend to be asleep?"

I half-opened my eyelids, and the first thing I saw was a little smile on the corner of his lips, with an understatement between his brows and eyes, still in that nonchalant attitude.Moving his gaze down, he saw that he half rolled up his sleeves and unbuttoned two collar buttons on his light-colored shirt, so that he half bent down, and he could see the beautiful shape of his jaw and the faint flowing water extending below his neck. like lines.

Views like this were rarely seen before.I stared intently, and after a while, I coughed subtly: "Hey, did someone come here just now?"

Gu Yanzhi hummed casually, and lifted my back to support the head of the bed: "Lan Shi." He was very close to me when he said this, and then he straightened up, his movements a little slow.Involuntarily, I leaned over with my upper body, my eyes continued to slip into his clothes, and I said, "What are you talking about?"

He said indifferently, "Ye Xunxun recently went out to relax, and Lan Shi was just lonely in her boudoir."

"..."

I watched him straighten up, an arm's length away from me.Unyielding got closer, his upper body almost protruding from the edge of the bed, and then he made a slight effort to fit himself into a perfect pounce on him, but he suddenly took a small step back and said, "What are you looking for?"

I didn't expect this to happen at all.With a cry, the body began to sink uncontrollably to the ground.Feeling like a sandbag, about to fall heavily under the bed, I couldn't help but close my eyes tightly.But at the same time, he felt the speed stop, and his upper body was hugged tightly, tightly and firmly.

There was Gu Yanzhi's voice with a smile next to his ear: "Little pervert."

I suddenly became angry from embarrassment: "Obviously you did it on purpose!"

He hummed slowly: "It's been a long time since I teased you, I miss you a little."

"..."

(End of this chapter)