The Queen of Romance: A Summer of Sweet Classics

Chapter 49 Deception
Looking back now, during the five years from the age of 13 to my five years, that so-called secret love that was young and young, those self-righteous likings, may indeed be called innocent and pure feelings, but at the same time may not be called the most beautiful. Sincerely like it.

The so-called liking at that time may just be a dependence.It's just that in my world, at the right time, a just right person appeared.He has the most beautiful face I've ever seen, his eyes are deep, his eyelashes are long, the way he treats me, the things he taught me, the way I see the brilliance of the world, he does it for me Everything that has passed is gentle, fresh, and watertight, surpassing all others.

I just want to occupy such a feeling.Don't want to be plundered by others.But I didn't think about it too much. True liking requires mutual sacrifice.

Before, I never thought about this much.I didn't realize it until I was an adult.In the final analysis, those immature crushes in the past are not much different from the awkwardness and entanglement between an adolescent child longing for control and independence and an adult.

It's just that at the age of junior high school and high school, they couldn't have such complicated thoughts at all.I stubbornly think that I like Gu Yanzhi, and I think that I like it more than everyone else.I feel that my feelings are like volcanic magma that is ready to move, and it may get out of control at any time, and it will burst out if I don't pay attention.

But at the same time, the paradox is that I dare not tell Gu Yanzhi the secret in my heart.

I have kept this secret tightly for many years in the interlacing of time and time. During this period, I just did one thing nonchalantly and studied hard.

As a result, my grades have made great progress. According to Ye Xunxun's adjective, my posture of skipping grades can be called gorgeous.From the tail end of the fifth grade final exam at the age of 13, to the middle and upper reaches, so that I skipped directly to the first grade of junior high school, then took the senior high school entrance examination, and finally entered the first grade of high school at the age of 15.Such a speed, even the teacher thought it was a miracle.And I want to say that my grades can develop to this stage quickly, half of it is due to Gu Yanzhi's supplementary lessons, and the other half is only due to Gu Yanzhi's beauty.

The excuse that Gu Yanzhi unintentionally provided to make up lessons was fully utilized by me.He didn't fail in everything except language and mathematics, but he ran to Gu Yanzhi for any questions that he didn't know in class and homework.This caused Gu Yanzhi to often have a moving background like me interspersed around him.And Gu Yanzhi added a small desk next to his desk in Gu's house and office, and placed my textbooks and exercise books separately.Every day when he went to the company or was studying in the study, I would always hug the exercise book and walk past him, pretending to concentrate on the math problems.

I worked so hard that one day even my Chinese teacher noticed.At a parent meeting, I praised me, saying that I have never seen a child who likes to study like this.I stood next to Gu Yanzhi, holding his two fingers. I felt guilty at first, Ye Xunxun, who skipped a grade with me to the junior high school, happened to pass behind Ye's parents, and pouted at me in disapproval. I finally couldn't bear it anymore and lowered my head all of a sudden.

The Chinese teacher laughed and joked: "Du Wan is still embarrassed."

I raised my head and said, "Teacher, have you ever heard of a poem. There is a sentence in the middle about a beautiful woman in a red dress and a friend in a white dress, like morning and evening singing and drinking together."

The Chinese teacher said: "No. What's the matter?"

I raised my face and asked Gu Yanzhi: "What about you, have you heard of it?"

He said no, and looked at me with a slight smile: "So?"

"Ah, it's nothing." I said lightly, "It's just that I made a bet with Ye Xunxun. She said that this poem is very popular. The teacher and you must have heard of it. I said that's not necessarily the case. .As a result, you can see that I won."

There is no better excuse than betting.Even a person who is not good at lying can reach maturity with a practice or two.After I was deceived twice by Ye Xunxun, I started to deceive others in the same way.

The poem is actually quite long, and I don't remember all of it.What Ye Xunxun is most impatient with is reciting poems, so naturally he doesn't remember them.So there was no bet between us at all.Ye Xunxun didn't even know that I used her like this.And the reason why I read these inexplicable two lines of poems in front of the Chinese teacher was because I couldn’t speak the two lines that followed——

The beautiful woman in red and the friend in white dress sing the same song and drink together in the morning and evening.People in the world say that I love Chang'an, but in fact I only love Chang'an.

Such a drunken man does not want to drink.Just like I study hard, where I really like to study, but I just want to get closer to Gu Yanzhi.

Regarding the matter of skipping grades, I once called Gu Yanzhi who was on a business trip abroad when I still had one tail left.I told him on the phone that I planned to skip the first half of the third year of high school and take the senior high school entrance examination directly with the students in the next semester.

Gu Yanzhi was silent for a while: "Wanwan."

"what?"

"Is this a decision you made suddenly, or was it well thought out?"

I said, "I've already thought about it."

"When I was in T City yesterday, why didn't you tell me? We should have a face-to-face discussion on such a big matter."

"..."

I can never say, I have no courage, I dare not.

I had to make excuses: "I don't think it's a big deal."

He was silent there for a long time, and when he spoke again, his voice was flat: "What is the reason for you to skip a grade in such a hurry?"

My heart beat uncontrollably.

Through the phone, I seem to be able to see his expression when he said this.

Gu Yanzhi's eyes were dark, and when he stared at people, he was always cool and quiet.The tone is always gentle, with a little carelessness.Such a flat tone is not common.But it's always intimidating.I have been with him for so long, and I have only seen him twice.They were all in Gu's Building, when Gu Yanzhi was presiding over the meeting in the meeting room.I shouldn't have gone in, but twice, his secretary stuffed a teacup into his hand and pushed me in.The first time I entered, I saw Gu Yanzhi sitting in the chairman's seat, with no smile on his face, and the same extremely flat tone: "When did I give you the right to dismiss at will?"

Before that, I had never heard Gu Yanzhi speak in such a tone.Everyone under the seat was silent, not daring to take a breath.My palms trembled, and some hot black tea spilled on the back of my hands.

I held the water glass in one hand, and stopped awkwardly in mid-air with the other. I could feel the eyes of everyone sweeping over me without looking up.Not sure what to do next.Soon a familiar voice sounded: "Wanwan, come here."

I raised my head, Gu Yanzhi's face had returned to calm, and he stretched out his hand towards me: "Come here."

I hesitated for a while, and walked slowly, and I suspected that I heard someone let out a long breath.Putting the water glass in front of Gu Yanzhi, he whispered, "Your secretary asked me to bring you some water."

Gu Yanzhi held my wrist and wiped off the water on my fingers one by one with a handkerchief.He asked, "What else did she say?"

Everyone was watching here in silence, Gu Yanzhi did so slowly, which made me feel like everyone's eyes were going to pierce my back.Straightened his back: "...I didn't say anything. Can I go out?"

He folded his hands, showing a half-smile: "Didn't she call you a little ancestor and ask you to say a few nice words here so that you can save people to the end?"

"..."

Ye Xunxun once conducted an in-depth analysis on the strengths and weaknesses of Yan Yu, Gu Yanzhi, Chu Yu, Jiang Yannan and others.It pointed out that among them, Gu Yanzhi was the least likely to be deceived.The main reason for this is that he has been the most deceptive person in their circle since he was a child.As the saying goes, the Buddha sees people as compassionate, and the devil sees them as evil. When Gu Yanzhi watched other people play tricks, he probably had a nostalgic feeling in his heart that this was all left over from my play.Therefore, people like Ye Xunxun, who are more able to deceive others, only dare to deceive Yan Yu, and don't play tricks in front of Gu Yanzhi easily.And she also seriously advised me, pointing out that it is best not to move my mind, if I have to move, I need to look forward and backward, and plan it slowly.And the most important thing is to consider all the possible consequences of failure.

It's just that some things can bear the consequences, and even if the consequences are not thoughtful about some things, you must bite the bullet and get it right.For example, when I was 14 years old, when faced with Gu Yanzhi’s question about skipping grades, I replied as if nothing had happened: “I just feel that what I’m learning now is too simple, and it’s a waste of my time. Didn’t you skip a grade before? You should understand my feelings.” ah."

He pondered for a moment, and this time his tone was a little teasing: "Isn't it because someone you like is in the senior grade?"

My tone was still calm: "You think too much."

I can never tell him that I just want to grow up quickly.

After arriving in T City, my stature has changed from just hugging Gu Yanzhi's waist to now when I look up beside him, I can see the corners of his lips slightly raised.I think I have grown up, but in Gu Yanzhi's eyes, even if I grow up to be 20 years old, there is no difference from the 11-year-old me.

There is a distance between me and him.Whether it is elementary school, junior high school, or even high school, these are all within the scope of his distant nostalgia.As long as I'm still in this area, I can't get rid of the three words "children".I realized this one night, and I was tossing and turning all night, and I was not even a little bit discouraged.For ten years, I have no choice but to try my best to grow faster.

Thinking about it now, what an inspiring time it was.Every night I can study energetically until 09:30 before going to bed.When the students in the back row were sleeping, I opened my eyes wide in the teacher's weak lecture tone.I wish with all my heart that I can finish what I have learned in a compressed and fast manner like Gu Yanzhi, and then quickly grow into an adult.Maybe when I can also handle company affairs or other jobs with ease to make money, Gu Yanzhi can dispel his childish views on me a little bit.

Once my thoughts were so pure and full of utilitarianism.

Entering high school, schoolwork can no longer be as easy as in junior high school.The summer vacation of the second year of high school was directly annexed by the school on the grounds that the studies of the third year were heavy.Entering the third year of high school, it is even more like an ascetic practice.We gathered all grades [-] days before the college entrance examination, raised our hands for a hundred days, and went to the auditorium to listen to last year's top student in the city's college entrance examination to talk about his experience in the college entrance examination.After finally getting out, I happened to meet Ye Xunxun, who was in the first grade of high school and had just bought ham sausages from the school supermarket, and grabbed me. At the same time, Li Xiangnan, who came to chat with me, squeezed out of the next class, and said to me: " After thinking about it, I still think it’s not good for you.”

"What's wrong?"

Ye Xunxun said: "It's not good for you to be so wishful thinking."

I said, "...can you please speak more lightly."

Li Xiangnan, who was squatted beside her, immediately interrupted: "What wishful thinking?"

Ye Xunxun took him as air, rested his chin, and looked at me solemnly and melancholy: "Look, Du Wan, why don't you confess your love after the college entrance examination."

I choked on my mouthful of water and stared at her together with Li Xiangnan: "...huh?"

"I think what you need now is calmness and reason. Du Wan." Ye Xunxun said slowly, "Look at you, you have liked Gu Yanzhi for so long. After such a long time, it is no longer called liking." , you should be called blind infatuation."

Li Xiangnan asked anxiously: "What's that man's name? How do you know?"

Ye Xunxun said: "I think it's not wrong for a girl to like someone, but if your liking brings you disaster, it's not good. Don't become the second Ye Jin. Look at her as a Gu Yanzhi How much youth was wasted, starting from about your age, when I first saw Gu Yanzhi, I was shocked to be a heavenly man, until now Ye Jin is 23 years old, for a whole ten years, just for a man. And now he has been dumped by Gu Yanzhi They are still obsessed with their obsessions. This is too scary. So I think you'd better confess your confession quickly, and then be rejected by Gu Yanzhi as soon as possible. It's better for you to give up your mind sooner than later, what do you think?"

I looked at her for a while: "Are you trying to persuade others?"

"I think, why do you have to like Gu Yanzhi? What's so good about him, isn't it just that he looks a little better, his personality is a little gentler, and he can cook something delicious. But this is like a flower, You saw it in the park and thought it looked good, so you have to take him home? What can you do if you don’t take him back? The most important thing about a boy is not how good he is, but how good he can be to you How nice. Even if Gu Yanzhi treats you well now, there will not be any man who treats you better than him in the future. Why do you just fall on him. What do you think?"

I said, "I think your theory is correct. But try to find someone similar to him. I don't think it's easy."

Li Xiangnan immediately said in a vow: "I can do it."

Ye Xunxun finally gave him a straight look and asked, "Li Xiangnan, how long have you liked Du Wan?"

Li Xiangnan, who was squatting on the ground, looked at me and said, "It's been two years. The love letters I wrote to Du Wan can already cover the entire playground, you know?"

Ye Xunxun said: "Why should I know this. I despise boys who write love letters the most. Writing love letters is the lowest and most useless thing. You like Du Wan so much?"

I stood up: "Go ahead, I'll sit over there. Goodbye."

Ye Xunxun grabbed the corner of my clothes, and Li Xiangnan said from behind: "Do you think love letters are easy to write? It's not easy for me to rack my brains every day, okay? I'm not one of those naive boys who just find books and copy them Just copy it. Every sentence in it is from my heart, you know? I can recite the love letter I wrote two years ago now, can you recite your letter? If Du Wan reads any of my You can know how much I like her if you write a love letter. I have always been very sincere, okay?"

Ye Xunxun looked at him with a condescending attitude for a while, then raised his chin: "Then tell me, what grade have you ranked in the final exams in the last five years? Which subject is the best?"

Li Xiangnan snorted: "I'm the best at mathematics, but I'm not good at Chinese. As for the final exam, the results of these five years are first in grade, first in grade, first in grade, first in grade, and first in grade. Do you want to hear more?" In the past? In fact, they are almost the same, just these four words."

"Du Wan, he's actually ranked ahead of you." Ye Xunxun said to me, then raised his chin at Li Xiangnan, "Are you doing anything else besides studying? We, Du Wan, don't like nerds."

I couldn't help but say, "Hey Ye Xunxun, have you considered my feelings when you ask these questions?"

Li Xiangnan said: "I can also play the violin. I can also teach Du Wan how to swim. And my family background is not bad. Have you heard of the Li family in T City? It is on the west side of the city, thanks to the ancestors who have accumulated a little Wealth, at least the members of the family can live their lives without worrying about food and clothing."

Ye Xunxun pointed to a financial magazine on the street newsstand last week and told me about the family history of the Li family in the west of T City, but now she said calmly: "I haven't heard of it."

Li Xiangnan said: "It's okay. I'm not very famous. When I inherit the family business in the future, it won't be too late for you to hear about it."

Ye Xunxun pinched his waist with one hand, looked at him for a while, and suddenly said: "The sea of ​​humanity is deep, what is the next sentence?"

Li Xiangnan replied without hesitation: "It's not half lovesick."

Ye Xunxun said, "It's useless to be in love directly."

Li Xiangnan said: "It's okay to be melancholy and crazy."

Ye Xunxun said: "When we miss each other, we will know when we will meet again."

Li Xiangnan said: "I feel embarrassed at this time and night."

Ye Xunxun said: "Life is full of love and infatuation."

Li Xiangnan said: "This hatred has nothing to do with the wind and the moon."

I said, "Wait, Ye Xunxun, when did you memorize ancient poems so well?"

"These are already my limit." Ye Xunxun tapped his finger on the armrest, and turned to look at me, "It seems that Li Xiangnan really likes you. As far as I know, boys generally don't touch you. These sour things are only used when writing love letters. It is not easy for Li Xiangnan to recite this. It can be seen that he really put his heart into writing you the love letter. You wait until you are cruelly rejected by Gu Yanzhi In the future, you can rely on him to heal and try."

I said, "I have no plans to fall in love early."

"I didn't tell you to fall in love." Ye Xunxun said, "I just want you to know that there are so many boys who like you, and when you graduate from high school and enter university, there will be more boys who like you. You like me a little If they touch each other, they will go to heaven happily. As the saying goes, happiness is not as good as being liked by others. Since Gu Yanzhi has always been abstinent, let him continue to be abstaining from sexual desires. Why bother? If you want to like him, do you want to be trapped by love like Ye Jin?"

I said, "Why does it seem so strange to me that it came out of your mouth?"

Li Xiangnan said on the side: "If you think she is inconvenient, you can come to me, and I will be very happy."

Ye Xunxun glanced at him, turned his head and continued to say to me: "Also, don't forget that you are still a child in Gu Yanzhi's eyes. Although children have never been taken seriously, children also have an advantage, that is, All mistakes have a chance to be forgiven and corrected. Your infatuation is a mistake, maybe you will be disappointed after being rejected, and you will wake up after being disappointed, and you will not be obsessed. Look, isn't this very good?"

I said, "Let me think about it again."

Ye Xunxun said: "What's there to think about, it's settled like this."

I said: "But you insisted that as long as I confessed, I would fail completely. In this case, you still let me rush forward. I have to say that I have a feeling of carrying explosives to block the enemy's gunhole. You can't do it like this." It's too cruel."

"Isn't long-term pain better than short-term pain? I'm doing this for your own good." Ye Xunxun pinched his fingers and calculated, "By the way, isn't your 18th birthday a few days before the college entrance examination, so, In order to prevent you from performing abnormally in the college entrance examination, you should confess to Gu Yanzhi on the day after the college entrance examination, as your coming-of-age ceremony. Such a coming-of-age ceremony can also be regarded as tragic and tragic, and it is worthy of the deep love that has been unknown for many years. Crested head and leopard tail Well, it’s better to be unwilling than anticlimactic, what do you think?”

I looked at her numbly for a while: "I think you are too damaged."

In the last hundred days before the college entrance examination, the level of cruelty was unbearable.

During this time, time will feel extremely erratic and distorted.Sometimes it feels very short, which is when you are answering questions in the exam room; sometimes it feels very long, which is when you are waiting for the results of each mock test.Therefore, it is normal for students to have any psychology at this time.And my mental performance is irritable.This kind of irritability is manifested in the fact that every time Ye Xunxun comes to me from the freshman department of high school after school, he will encounter my pity, ridicule and cold violence.For example, once she kindly said to me in order to comfort me: "We have also had an exam these two days, and everyone is the same. Just calm down, the college entrance examination is a paper tiger, it's nothing serious."

I think the way I looked at her at that time should be very pitiful: "A child who has not experienced the third year of high school is simply ignorant."

"..."

I could see that she was trying to endure my sarcasm, and finally managed to endure it, and then persuaded me, "Didn't you say it in the last champion back-to-school lecture? When you feel irritable, take a deep breath and close your mouth." Eyes, think silently that you are the strongest. That's all right."

I continued to look at her with pity: "A child who has never experienced a third year of high school is simply ignorant."

Ye Xunxun was finally furious: "Du Wan, let's break off friendship!"

Ye Xunxun claimed to break up the relationship, and it was true within a short period of time.Every afternoon after school, I would specially walk around from the teaching building of the first year of high school to the gate, just to apologize to Ye Xunxun.However, Ye Xunxun walked over without seeing it every time.In this way, until the end of the college entrance examination, Ye Xunxun broke up with me for a full 45 days.

Accompanied by the good wind from the south in early summer, and a few low and hoarse cicada calls, my high school days and my birthday passed away with the wind.

From the perspective of a 22-year-old now, the college entrance examination can still bear the excitement.But it is not the only one who dominates inner activities.I still clearly remember that on the night of my college entrance examination, what I sat in my bedroom thinking about was not the questions I answered in the examination room, but what Ye Xunxun told me on the day of the hundred-day oath. talk.

Even if she poked her heart out that day, it is undeniable that what she said made sense.

The more time passed, the more hope was lost.At that time, I was like a self-bound silkworm, trapped in the silk thread and completely unable to see hope.No matter how I think about it, I feel that Gu Yanzhi really won't agree to my confession, whether it's now or in the future.Just thinking of the point where I was about to suffocate, I couldn't wait to break out of the cocoon, and even died immediately.

I've been thinking like this for many days, and I'm not even interested in Gu Yanzhi's proposal to go on a trip.The end result was that I finally had an unbearable nightmare one night.What I dreamed was that I prepared for a long time to confess my love, and finally I wore a brand new white dress and confessed to Gu Yanzhi in Gu's house.My heart was beating like a drum, but I saw that his face was slightly smiling, and then gradually turned cold.Waiting until I finished speaking, I suddenly raised my hand, picked up my back collar, and threw me out of the window on the second floor without hesitation.

I woke up suddenly.

I sat up and barely turned on the light at the bedside, feeling parched and panicked.Holding my chest and gasping for breath, I suddenly heard someone knock on my bedroom door.

The next moment, a familiar voice sounded, with a bit of unhurried tenderness: "Wanwan?"

I suddenly calmed down.

Gu Yanzhi outside the door called my name again.I made up my mind, got out of bed and opened the door.

The bedroom was dark and gloomy, and as soon as the door was opened, the soft light like golden velvet from the corridor spread in.Gu Yanzhi was standing outside the door, with one hand in a posture of wanting to knock, and barely stopped the moment I opened the door; wearing a light-colored casual shirt with two collar buttons unbuttoned, it seemed a bit lazy exist.

There was a slight hint of alcohol on his body, it could be seen that he had just come back from the outside.The other hand held a piece of jasper as big as a gnat, and the bright yellow tassels hung down from the palm of the hand, making the fingers more slender and lustrous.I haven't told anyone, but I've always wanted to play with Gu Yanzhi's hand, no matter how curved or slightly curled, it's always beautiful.

Gu Yanzhi looked down at me, with a smile on the corner of his mouth, and his long eyelashes, which looked blurry and gentle under the soft light: "Have you had a nightmare?"

I said, "Are you drunk?"

He looked at me with a slight smile: "I look like a drunk person?" Then he asked, "What dream did you have?"

I looked up at him for a while and said, "I dreamed of an English word, but I can't remember it."

He said, "What word?"

"Fantasy, how do you say illusion in one English word?"

He raised his eyebrows slightly.With this appearance, he usually looks much better than ordinary people.At this moment, the corners of the eyes and the brows are full of spring, which is far more beautiful than before.But what I have always been most fascinated by is his English pronunciation. He has a square and round Oxford accent. Every word he enunciates is elegant and just right, and his eloquence is like a mother tongue: "fantasy."

He spelled each letter for me slowly, and then repeated the pronunciation again: "Fantasy. Remember?"

Of course I remember.I haven't forgotten at all.Just a random question.

Pronouncing a word twice is a habit that Gu Yanzhi developed after tutoring me in English.At first it was purely to correct my pronunciation of every word, but like many things in this world, the original intention and the result are always wrong.After I had imitated the phonetic symbols clearly, I still mispronounced the word on purpose for a while, but this time, all I thought about was to listen to Gu Yanzhi repeat it twice.

I was a little distracted, and didn't watch out for a gentle flick on my forehead.I looked back, Gu Yanzhi looked at me with a funny look in his eyes: "What's the matter?"

I whispered: "A few days ago was my birthday, you said you would make up for me after the college entrance examination."

"That's right." He fiddled with the tassels with his hands, with a slight smile on his face, "When do you want to mend it?"

"..."

"Also," he drooped his eyelashes, showing some tenderness, "what birthday present do you want this time?"

"...what will you give me if I ask for it?"

"You need to talk about this first." He still smiled lightly, "If it's something I can do, don't you think so?"

He said so, but every time the gift was always more expensive than expected.It's just that Gu Yanzhi always gave these things away very easily.At the birthday party the year before last, before he led me downstairs, he tied a light purple transparent stone the size of a little finger around my neck.The stone is bright and clear, and when it is turned around a little under the light, it will make people unable to take their eyes off it.I asked him what it was, and he said casually, "Glass beads, are they pretty?"

So much so that I actually went downstairs with that glass bead on.Then, without knowing what to say, he was almost pierced by sharp eyes.Later, I found Ye Xunxun in the food area, where she was fighting for creme brulee. When she looked up and saw the necklace on my neck, she almost choked out most of the pudding.

After a while she regained her composure, pointed at my neck and said, "This is Gu Yanzhi's birthday present to you?"

I twisted the necklace: "Ah. Glass beads, do they look good? Personally, I think they look pretty good."

She almost choked on the remaining half of the pudding, and said blankly for a while: "Then can you give me this glass bead? I'll exchange all my necklaces for you. I still have a string of authentic red coral."

I said, "You like it?"

Ye Xunxun said coldly: "Of course I like it. No woman in T city dare not like it. Do you know that this is the finale jewel at the Hong Kong auction last month, such a pink diamond, the color is still It's purple, so it's worth a lot, isn't it?"

……

I looked at Gu Yanzhi, such handsome eyebrows and eyes, under the dim light, set off more and more like a crown jade.I suddenly had a little courage, and whispered, "Gu Yanzhi, what kind of girl do you like?"

He said, "Why do you ask that?"

I said, "I was just thinking, you should have a girlfriend at your age. Look at Chu Yu and Jiang Yannan, there are different beauties around you in two or three months, and it's very pleasing for others to look at."

"That's them." He said casually, and then smiled, "Hasn't Yan Yu always been single?"

I said, "But there is always a type you like. Do you like tougher ones, or gentler ones? Ye Xunxun said that men only like pretty ones, are you the same?"

I'm actually asking this question a little bit hopelessly.Because every time he came across such a topic, he would always distract him quietly.But this time he looked at me with a smile on his face: "Maybe I like cute and smart ones."

My heart jumped again: "Is it like Ye Xunxun?"

"Huh? Her little girl is too smart, it's better to harm other people." He shook the tassel casually, as if remembering something, handed me the jade in his hand, "Do you like it?" ?Gizmos."

"If this is the birthday present you prepared," I folded my hands and squinted at him, "then I don't really like it."

He smiled and said, "You didn't say what you wanted."

It was a chilly night in early spring. I stood by the door for so long, and finally felt the coldness of running barefoot.The man in front of him was tall and tall, with a careless and arrogant air in his gestures.But at the same time gentle, with a little tease.Maybe he is very calculating, but in front of you, he always has a smile on his face, never showing you those cold moments.

I haven't known him very long.Just seven short years.But I feel that it has been very long, so long that I have tasted all the ups and downs.He deserves it, and I do it willingly.

My eye sockets are sore.Suddenly couldn't help it, and hugged his waist.

When I was still in Dashan, several Qiang boys came to the town to study with us.They believe in Baishi God, which is slightly different from our rules.There are Qiang sculptures built on the highest part of the Qiang village, and each house has four white horns made of pointed stones.The bonfire party is a time for boys and girls to make love. When a boy likes a girl, he will go to the girl while dancing and stay beside the girl to chat and please.If the girl doesn't reject it, the boy will tentatively hold the other's hand, and then gently hook the girl's palm to express his love.

The Qiang boy told me this during recess.It happened to be heard by my father on the podium, and a smile suddenly appeared on his originally flat face.All the children in the town were in awe of him, but I was the most courageous, grasping the change in the blink of an eye and asking loudly: "Father, what are you laughing at? Could it be that you did this before?"

He pushed the bridge of his nose twice, looked at me with a smile: "You can also say that."

The Qiang boy next to me suddenly said: "Teacher, you have made it clear that you are covering up. What the old man next door to my house said is completely opposite to you. It is obvious that many girls secretly chased you back then, but only Du Wan's mother had the guts." Dare, dare to touch your palm with your fingers!"

My father put his hand on the textbook, still smiling: "What's the difference? If she didn't hook my palm, Du Wan would not know where she is now. After all, Du Wan's mother and I feel very happy. I'm glad that happened at that time. That’s the right thing to do.”

I ran home after school that day and asked my mother about it.The mother said lightly: "You don't know how many girls in the village were jealous when I married your father. At that time, your father just came to the town. He was very good-looking, and he was a Han from outside the mountains. Like a phoenix descending from the sky, it immediately fascinated all the girls in the town who were about my age. But in the past two years, everyone felt that they were not worthy of him and confessed to him There was no one. Until I was old enough to marry, I went to him at the bonfire party, took the initiative to hook his palm, and told him, I like you and want to marry you, what do you say?"

"What did father say?"

The mother's face suddenly became gentle: "He, he replied to me on the spot, okay."

I have wanted to copy this scene to Gu Yanzhi and me several times.However, Ye Xunxun always told me that it was the custom of the Qiang people.In Han culture, there is no such thing as a girl taking the initiative.Of course, this does not mean that girls cannot take the initiative, but a similar situation can be described as drinking poison.No one drinks poison when they are alive and well.But that doesn't mean it's against the law for you to drink poison.So drinking poison is also your freedom, but it also means that you are looking for your own death.

That's why Ye Xunxun, after realizing that I was hopelessly in love with Gu Yanzhi, seriously and seriously suggested that I might as well consider confessing, so as to quickly kill myself.

But even if she doesn't suggest it, I already feel that my emotions have become a balloon that keeps filling with water, falling heavily on my heart, getting fuller and fuller, and it seems that it will not be able to hold it.

I buried myself in his lapel, with a hint of drunkenness on the tip of my nose.Gu Yanzhi's warmth can be felt through the thin cloth.Just like his whole person, gentle just right.I haven't been this close to him for a long time.The fuller I pretended to be, the more timid I became, the less I dared to get too close.I carefully covered my little thoughts, and secretly hoped that he would be able to notice one day.So complicated.

I held him and didn't want to let go.In front of my eyes is the delicate texture of his clothes, and my heart beats so fast that I can hear my own pounding.I felt his hand land on my back, gently stroking twice.A gentle voice above the head: "What?"

I didn't dare to look up, and whispered: "I have something to discuss with you, can you stop talking first? I'm a little nervous."

He chuckled, and quickly stopped talking.His right hand was casually placed by his side, and I grabbed it.I found his palm and tickled it lightly twice.

He didn't move.I took a deep breath, closed my eyes tightly, and finally said the words that were firmly pressed in my heart: "I like you, and I will treat you very well for the rest of my life. Can you like me too?"

I felt the person in front of me pause for a moment.

My heart hangs to a very high place because of this.Subconsciously felt that there would be a bad answer in the future, so he hugged him even tighter.After a while, I was held by Gu Yanzhi's arm, and he pushed me away gently with a little force.

My mind went blank with a buzz.

That moment seemed like a very long time.I feel cold from head to toe, but my cheeks are burning hot.It was as if he had been slapped invisible.Staring at the beige carpet on the floor, Gu's house at ten o'clock at night is quiet and quiet.After a while, I heard a calm voice above my head: "Wanwan, raise your head."

I didn't have the strength to look up.

The confession took all my strength, and now I just want to squat against the wall.I felt that something was completely shattered, and pierced into the flesh and blood one by one.But no tears fell at all.In a trance, I heard Gu Yanzhi's voice after a pause, still calm: "I hope you will think about these words when you are more awake."

After an unknown period of time, I finally raised my head slowly.Looking at his beautiful eyebrows and eyes under the light, he said: "Brother, if you don't like me, you can just say so. You don't need to make such an excuse. I have thought about it for a long time."

He looked down at me with unfathomably deep eyes, without opening his mouth.

I tried my best to make my voice seem calm: "Did you already know?"

He looked at me for a while before saying, "There are always traces."

I said, "Do you think it's funny and ridiculous to watch me struggle alone?"

"..."

I said, "Do you think I'm not self-loving?"

He interrupted me, his eyes became a little stern: "Wanwan."

I ignored him and spoke faster and faster: "Have you considered that if I keep silent, you will keep pretending to be deaf and dumb. But if I speak now, you will have to interrupt my fantasy Yes. Have you ever laughed at my overreaching in your heart? Have you ever thought in your heart that you worked so hard to get custody of this child from Du Chengchen, but now she has such contemptuous thoughts? , made you feel that what you did back then was really a mistake? Have you ever regretted that you should have left me in the Du family or Dashan Village to fend for myself, so that there would be no troubles like today? "

I looked up at him and felt a tear fall from the corner of my eye: "Do you even like me a little bit?"

Tears are like the water source that opened the gate, and quickly covered the whole face.The figure in front of me took out a handkerchief and tried to wipe away my tears.I took a step back, avoiding his hand, and wiped away my tears casually: "If you don't answer, that means there is nothing left."

He looked at me, and finally said softly: "Wanwan, you are so young, you have just grown up, and you don't understand anything yet."

Ye Xunxun once said that principles are only used against those you want to target.Adults’ excuses are always perfect enough to disappoint you, but they won’t hit your most painful place.I liked him for three years, and sometimes I even felt that I had a tendency to develop into a philosopher in this respect, but I was still ignorant of Gu Yanzhi's words.

It's just that he has already said so, so it's useless for me to say anything else.

(End of this chapter)